Week 955
Day 6679 - 10/14 - One single line
Today has lots of pretty crazy news. I am still trying to rest and recover from too much walking in the past few days, as Monday late afternoon my car had another heart attack with the exact same issue as before (where the starter gets stuck repeatedly starting.) I nearly had a heart attack myself and raced back to the ex-house to get pliers to disconnect the battery. The next morning I took it over to be fixed since it would be free since it was covered by the last repair. (Thank the gods it was because I had no money for more repairs.) Unfortunately the guy explained that there was some extra part installed that is not listed on the schematics which may have been the cause of the issue (both times.) He removed that, so now it won't be an issue. (I forgot what it was called, but it basically was a small plug type device.) I guess looking it up online sometimes manufacturers do add that for unknown reasons and it isn't completely uncommon. But I trust him, so if he says removing it is the thing to do then that's what we do. Unfortunately that cost me $40, which I had to rob myself of more December bill money to pay.
The other very strange thing is, after basically like three weeks of possibly being able to respond my aunt finally did. She sent a single small line like, 'Your dad is still living at the same address.' That's it? One line, a 98% blank page? After 40 years not speaking to me, and my assuming my dad is dead, and asking other questions, and that's your response? Yeah definitely F them. But it does generate so many more questions about if he has been alive why has there now been three times he would have normally sent a card, or email, or ecard, something, and about two other less common times that he would have sent something.
I assume my theory that his computer died and it was the only place he had my address is maybe correct? But still, I sent a physical mail which very clearly showed my address back in like July. Why did he not respond after that? If that is the case, I have an old tablet I could send to get him at least back online in some form. (Assuming he can do a wireless connection.) But without knowing what's going on I certainly can't afford the cost of shipping that and a small keyboard to him.
So today I have been trying to recover from shaking like a terrified bunny over the recent car issues. And recover from the new confusion about why has dad apparently been ignoring me since the end of last year.
Day 6680 - 10/15 - Recovery
Today I am in recovery from my big scare. I'm mostly calmed down, but still a bit nervous. It will probably really be a week to fully trust things and calm down. But the start is extremely quiet compared to before. That extra thing must really have caused the starter to be heavily overworking.
Mostly today I played a game that is finally in full release out of early access. I'd forgotten how it was to play in early game, and I think it's been maybe a year since I last played, so it's super fun.
Hopefully I can continue to be restful tonight and feel even better tomorrow.
Day 6681 - 10/16 - Third ebook site
Today I finally got my theory ebook up on the third site. I don't really know why it had so much trouble getting set up compared to the other two. But now I can rest easy that if it's going to sell anything, it is in the best position to do so. Will it make up for what I've lost from dad not sending money? I guess only time will tell.
I feel pretty off today. I generally feel a bit confused and dizzy, like I have a slight motion sickness when I move my head. I am still very congested in my lungs and throat. Though it doesn't really have other effects, just a slight cough a few times an hour. But I suppose with this being like day 3 or 4 of it not getting better the other issues could be a minor cold resurgence.
I guess the day was pretty good. Though with the confusion it passed pretty quickly and I felt like maybe I was missing something, though I can't think of what that might be. I didn't start compiling my next book yet. While I felt ok I think I may still take a couple of days to rest. It wouldn't be great to do a creative thing while I have this confusion.
Day 6682 - 10/17 - Feeling odd
Today I am feeling a bit odd. Maybe I am a bit sick. I have had a low level headache most of the day and still have some confusion. Of course I'm still super congested too.
I did chat a bit on social pages in the morning, but overall the day was very quiet and actually felt pretty lonely. The day passed quickly and again it kind of felt like I was missing something or forgot something.
Day 6683 - 10/18 - More congestion
Today I am super tired. There have been critters lately near where I sleep who make noise and scare me awake a lot of the time the past few nights. I'm super congested, even more than before. No real change (in cold symptoms) other than that, just a lot more nose congestion and yuck a lot of the time when I cough (though that's still just a few times an hour or less.) Hopefully today can be restful. I don't expect any reason it wouldn't be.
Day 6684 - 10/19 - Maybe collected ebook
Today maybe I'll start putting together my collected poem and stories ebook. I'll have to see how I feel. As I write this my congestion is pretty bad, so I don't feel super great, so it may be until later in the week that I feel ok enough to be creative.
Day 6685 - 10/20 - Hopefully restful Tuesday
Today is hopefully going to be restful. Hopefully I feel better. Hopefully my cold is clearing up. And hopefully everything will be ok and I can continue to hang on. Maybe not in the happiest way for sure, but hopefully I can continue to hang on until things get at least a bit happier again.
Week 956
Day 6686 - 10/21 - Starting the story book
Today I started work on my poems and stories to turn into an ebook. I think I may not put in my poems though. I'm not sure. They are about specific people or specific things in my life that I wouldn't say aren't relevant now, I just don't know if people would find them interesting. I do expect it will take a lot longer to edit and check than I originally thought. I found a few spelling errors that hadn't been caught, so I may want or need to update some grammar as well.
I guess I mostly feel better. There is still a ton of congestion, and my ears are ringing with a touch of headache. But the congestion and dizziness I had the past few days is gone, so I'm glad of that.
Since my aunt claims my dad is still alive and at the same address I got him a card for his recent birthday and early Halloween. We'll see if that prompts him to send me some kind of update or if he continues to ignore me for some reason. I was tempted to do certified so someone would have to sign for it, but at an additional $6 that seemed kind of extreme since he may just sign for it and then still continue to ignore me, answering nothing.
I guess overall today was about as good as it could be, though the library was freezing and apparently it rained a bit during the day.
Day 6687 - 10/22 - Feeling a bit sad
Today I feel a bit sad, I'm not really sure why. I did just a small step with my next ebook. Maybe tomorrow I'll start the final reading check. I read pretty slowly though and it's something like 30 pages single spaced, so I may do that in parts. After that it will probably be one other session to get it into ebook formatting. I would guess it might be ready by mid-next week as a conservative guess.
I guess I had an ok day, but at the back of my mind all day I just felt a bit sad. Probably the limitations of my sad life getting to me, as it does at times, but I guess I hung on ok.
Day 6688 - 10/23 - Probably still sad
Today I am probably still a bit sad. I feel a bit down in general. It might be due to people starting to talk about Halloween things, which makes me think that soon it will be turkey day and Xmas things, and in these times I am reminded of all the tradition or celebration things that I can't do. Either due to my not having any friends, or more often because I am homeless, so even though there may still be things I could do alone I really can't because of that.
I did do a bit of writing stuff, and yeah, it's going to take a lot longer reading through and updating and checking grammar than I thought. I expect I'll still be able to release it by the end of next week, but it would certainly be closer to the end than the beginning.
I had food that made me a touch emotionally happy, but a touch upset in my tummy. I really need to put a full ban on uncooked cheese, and seriously limit the amount I have cooked, because every now and then my tummy seems to crave it with salami. It's mostly ok if I don't do it too often and don't have too much, but oof, it really would be better to fully ban uncooked cheese.
I guess the day was otherwise ok, and I made it through.
Day 6689 - 10/24 - Still sad and depressed
Today I was still a bit sad and depressed. I actually didn't feel like playing my mmo because of it and just played a single player game for most of the day. I was thinking of doing some reading to edit my ebook, but I felt sad, so I didn't feel like doing that either.
I'm sure things will clear up soon and I'll feel ok again, but hopefully I can get better sleep, feel less sick, and feel less sad soon enough.
Day 6690 - 10/25 - Still a bit sad
Today I am still feeling a bit sad. I did play my mmo just for a bit, and chatted a bit with a guildie on their social page, but I think the rest of the day I'll just play my single player game and probably be pretty quiet.
Day 6691 - 10/26 - Maybe ebook writing
Today I will maybe feel a bit better and continue working on my story ebook. I don't really know what else to expect for the day.
Day 6692 - 10/27 - Hopefully better Tuesday
Today will hopefully be better in that I feel a bit less sad and less congested. I can't really control either, but I can try the best that I can, and hopefully make it to better days.
