status: homeless; have places to sleep, have access to my desktop, have netbook
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This is my blog page; some of my ramblings will be here. Feel free to bookmark whichever page you would visit most. The most important PC tech ramblings will appear on my PC page, but there may be a more in depth story here in my blog. July 28, '10 - Wednesday - Epic Fail book 3, week 4 (week 108), complete - Link July 25, '10 - Sunday - Epic Fail book 3, week 4 (week 108), partial - Link July 20, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 3, week 3 (week 107), final - Link / Pic link July 18, '10 - Sunday - Another update - Link / Pic link July 17, '10 - Saturday - Epic Fail book 3, week 3 (week 107), emergency excerpts - Link July 13, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 3, week 2 (week 106) - Link "I know in only a few weeks the fear will return. What can be visible in the car, what can't be, will I be seen at the old spot, can I still be invisible, can I hide at school and try and sleep in during the mornings; all these questions and old fears return." July 7, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 3, week 1 (week 105) - Link "I got my netbook. July 4, '10 - Sunday - 4th of July June 30, '10 - Wednesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 53 (week 105), final day of year/book 2 - Link June 29, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 52 (week 104) and picture series 15 - Link / pic link "Today has been a strange day. I slept at C&H's last night in the bed and started my day there as well. Most of yesterday and half of today I had a normal life. At 4 I had to move here and ever since I've been getting more and more sad. I've only three more weeks of shelter here. After that I'm back to being homeless outside of my time at C&H's. I may, at times, be able to go to the mall or to the library, but much of my nights and weekdays I'll be back on the streets." June 28, '10 - Monday - July system recs June 22, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 51 (week 103) - Link "I'm getting frustrated with my netbook lately. After being on the desktop with a landline again I find myself rapidly frustrated by the low resolution and jerkiness in most of even the lowest resolution videos when watching things online; plus the fact that it's crippled for gaming. ... The new netbook I'm looking at getting has a new version out. ... I did a bill plan over the next few paychecks and I'm fine to get it in one and a half weeks. It will hopefully come before the 4th of July weekend. June 20, '10 - Sunday - dadz daiye June 15, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 50 (week 102) - Link "The world has changed around me and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know why I can't seem to find a break at a normal job and normal life again. I know I'm smart(ish), funny, helpful, generous, and a good person in general, but I can't help but wonder if something is cosmically wrong with me, something so wrong with my soul that reality bends around me to avoid me. I can't help but feel like I'm being punished and not told why or being given a way back out."
June 8, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 49 (week 101) - Link "I'm still very worried about the coming days, but I'm trying to just focus on today, while I still have a place to stay. I guess the near future won't be quite as bad as predicted, as the not-sis isn't leaving her current place until mid July. That means once I have to leave C&H's I would at least have a safe haven to park and sleep in my car without worry about police or neighbors. It won't be comfortable, my life will still be squozen into a few bags in my car, I won't have access to any games that can't be played on my netbook, but it won't be a full step to homeless car life." June 1, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 48 (week 100) - Link "I'm so sad now. It's early evening and there was some terrible news. C&H went to give the landlord person his check today and apparently he's found out that I've been here a while and he was grumpy about it. ... The thought of packing up what little I have here, putting my computer back in storage, putting my movies back in storage, being on the streets again... is terribly depressing. ... it looks like I may be back on the street again very soon. May 25, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 47 (week 99) - Link "I wish a lot of aspects of today could have gone differently, but I did have my games, had some fun with C&H, and all things considered I guess things are pretty good for what my life is these days." May 19, '10 - Wednesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 46 (week 98) - Link "C replied and, as I thought, putting me in the garage is possible. She said they would even try and make an official space for me so I could set up my computer in there if I wanted. ... I guess we'll see soon enough. Changes will start happening in about a month and a half, and I can stay on the couch if I lose the office sleeping space in the meantime." May 18, '10 - Tuesday - BFG Tech exits the graphics card market
May 12, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 45 (week 97) - Link "I certainly don't want to hinder anyone's progress. People are moving forward with their lives, with family, with jobs, finding love, yet my life stands still. I don't really know what to say for today. With the looming threat of being totally homeless and in my car again nothing else I did today seems important or worthy of talking about. My feelings of being scared for my future are again starting to return. Nearly two years now and I'm still in no better a position to be re-established. I'm still earning only enough to barely squeak by. I still have found no new people to help me. And nothing I do seems to be genuinely improving my chances."
May 4, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 44 (week 96) - Link "My ankle seems to be getting worse. My poor ankle feels... bad(?) much of the time now. I had a thought though - it may not be caused by the accident at all. It could indeed be genetics. But not genetics in the sense of 'it has been slowly getting more and more off throughout my life', but that it is a ganglion. I had one in my wrist when I was like 10, and my mom had them often. I'd completely forgotten about that." May 2, '10 - Sunday - Generation 11 April 27, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 43 (week 95) - Link "Last night I took the towels off the bed. I'd been using them as blankets, but I have plenty of blankets. It's odd to think that I'd just kept using them out of habit from when I was sleeping in my car. You'd normally never think to use towels as blankets. It still feels like I may be putting them back in the car to sleep on any given day. What with putting the bed away each day and putting all my blankets away I still feel like I'm hiding, like instead of hiding that I'm sleeping in my car I'm hiding that I'm sleeping at C&H's. I know I'm indeed not living there, but still. It would be nice to feel like I belonged somewhere. While I do have a place to sleep for now my journey's end seems to still be nowhere in sight." April 21, '10 - Wednesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 42 (week 94) - Link "I continue to be hopeful about the future, yet find myself at the end of yet another week wondering if the chaos will ever settle." April 16, '10 - Friday - Sony returns - Link April 14, '10 - Wednesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 41 (week 93) - Link / Pic link "Also my ankle feels bad, as if I'd been walking all day or twisted it recently. Hopefully it's just my imagination and I'm being overly sensitive to it, but I really should set up a time to have it looked at at the free clinic now that I know of one that should be willing to see me." April 7, '10 - Wednesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 40 (week 92) - Link "About 45 minutes each way and $900 later I had my replacement car. I felt sick and sad. It wasn't under the circumstances I wanted to get it under. It wasn't really at all what I like in terms of looks. It smells funky. I practically fall down when getting in it's so low. One mirror is busted off and needs to be replaced. The paint is all faded. I didn't want to put C&H out of their car any longer though. That's sad and not ok. Much like everything else in my life the car was done in a way I didn't want, and isn't what I'd have chosen on my own. It's serviceable, but that's about it. I had little to no choice in taking it. It had to be done, and it was the only one I could afford in money or time." April 4, '10 - Sunday - New systems April 4, '10 - Sunday - Bunnah day! March 31, '10 - Wednesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 39 (week 91) - Link "There were more changes in C&H's home lately, more reminders that my life is not my own, just a temporary space within their lives. I never knew until now how very important it is to have space all your own, a private place to put not only yourself but your stuff too. Just putting yourself somewhere is shelter, and just putting your stuff somewhere is storage; it is only when you have both in the same place that it will begin to feel like home."
March 24, '10 - Wednesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 38 (week 90) - Link "The car is likely dead. March 21, '10 - Sunday - Blu-ray in 3D March 19, '10 - Friday - Car asploded March 17, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 37 (week 89) - Link "My life is changing yet still in fragments ... But, things are looking up. I'm starting to re-balance physically, starting to have a chance at re-balancing emotionally, and my allergies in both locations are greatly lessening. Of course the only true way to recover will be financially due to the fact that my life will continually be in flux until that changes. Hopefully that can change soon too."
March 9, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 36 (week 88) - Link "The adjustments to semi-life are strange. ... They'd been considering setting up some space there for desktop gaming or guest console play so I'm sort of in limbo while they decide what kind of monitor to set up and set up the desk they want in that area. ... Such thoughts seem as foreign as sleeping in a bed to me now. Plus I'm a guest peep, so while I have spaces being created and set aside for me I have to wait until those form in the way the peeps who live there want and in their control to be non-disruptive to them. Within a week or so I should be settled in, but as per everything else in my life I will still be enjoying past elements of my life differently."
March 5, '10 - Friday - Avoid Nvidia 196.75 drivers March 2, '10 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 2, week 35 (week 87) - Link
Archived Blogs |
The portion of week 107 that exists up to this point is up.
I loves me my new netbook. ... I still feel more odd than sad lately about my homelessness, but that's likely just due to the excitement of my upgrades. I have a very strange feeling that once we hit the end of July when I'm back on the street that the overwhelming sadness will return. Even now there are times I feel like crying even though I know, at least for now, I have shelter."
