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March 27, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 508) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week there is a new character in my PvP game, who I love playing, and some genuinely happy times as a result. But there is a terrible scare with the laptop locking up for no reason, which quickly spirals me into thoughts of both laptop death and my own mortality, as it seems all I see around me are ticking clocks.

March 23, '18 - Friday - System recommendation updates - systems link
Intel's new socket x299 seems to have settled into the elite high-end / special use category, as the socket 1151 chipset 300 series takes over the mainstream gaming market. (As a special use item I will no longer have recommendations for them.) New systems have been done and the PC page has been updated. Unfortunately it still looks like stupid bit coin farming has jacked up the GPU prices to ridiculous levels (as well as indirectly pulling up ram prices with it), so this generation is a touch more expensive than normal.
March 20, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 507) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week there is a big donation from a friend, so things look up a bit. But I think with so many bills the money will be drained very quickly, and I'll become worried again very soon.

March 17, '18 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 301: rabb1t philosophizing - Link
In this podcast I ramble about how I've pretty much stopped playing Destiny 2, why I will probably stop playing Overwatch (again), how I might be interested in Warhammer: Vermintide 2, and the direction the gaming industry seems to be moving in terms of multiplayer games.

Note that while certainly good, the sound quality is not as good as it normally is. I'm still super sick so there was a lot of extra pop type noises, and I seem to have forgotten to use my popper stopper (set it aside then forgot to use it when recording). And it was raining a bit, so that may have messed with the white noise cleaning, so sorry for that.

March 13, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 506) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week there are a few positive boons, and I finally take care of that stupid fix it ticket.

March 6, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 505) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week extreme depression sets back in, as the fix it ticket was so close to being taken care of, and there is no way around being short. Added to my dwindling gas, and lack of money for other bills, it seems insurmountable. Also, there is a big scare in the night, again triggering many fears and nights thinking about death.

February 26, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 504) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week was extremely emotional. I start to get the fix it ticket taken care of, and it rapidly eats up everything I have, leaving nothing for other bills due soon. And after keeping it in my car for nearly a week, I throw away my futon, which brings up feelings of sadness that I am being forced to throw away... me.

February 24, '18 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 300: Deleted And Loaded Again - Link
In this podcast I ramble about how most people seem to be abandoning Destiny 2, and ramble about some other games I've lately been revisiting; Path of Exile, Diablo 3, Overwatch, and Heroes of the Storm.
February 20, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 503) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week has a lot of emotional up and down. It started low, with being out of gas and needing to consider keeping the car parked. But a few big donations come and I start to feel better. But in the end there is a great upheaval, as the ex-garage is rearranged, reminding me that the me that was and may yet still be is the only thing keeping the shattered and broken me going.

February 13, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 502) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week I can't keep worry about the bills out of my mind, and with that follow thoughts of death. I try to focus on what I do still have, and the positive things, but lately that is very difficult.

February 6, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 501) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week is extra difficult, as there is more bad news and demand for money to take care of car things. In a slight up swing the weather turns warmer, and it feels more like spring, making it easier to hope that help and better days are on the way.

February 3, '18 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 299: Archiving all the Aliens - Link
In this podcast I talk about a pen and paper role playing game by Paizo called Starfinder and its add on book; Alien Archive.
January 30, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 500) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week was pretty terrible, as I almost hit zero gas with no money. But help comes, and I can continue to hang on a bit longer.

January 23, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 499) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

I feel so exhausted all the time still. So much so that I spilled on my keyboard. Things seem terrible, and each day I get closer to things I can't pay for, and another day passes I grow short on resources I have left. It is harder and harder to stay positive.

January 16, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 498) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

I feel exhausted all the time. And for some unexplained reason my sites drop, I have to be the one to fix it (not my hosting people, who are likely responsible for the drop), and for days I can't upload my stuff.

January 13, '18 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 298: Ready for star finding - Link
In this podcast I talk about a pen and paper role playing game by Paizo called Starfinder. It seems like a good, if limited start.
January 9, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 497) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

While things will soon be back to at-school normal, depression hits hard as there are reminders of the life I once had, and I still mourn the loss of me.

January 2, '18 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 496) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

Things are tough with holiday closures. The weather turns very cold. But with Xmas monies I finally have enough to pay for a few of the important things, and I am not so worried about those, at least for the moment.

December 27, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 495) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

Things get worse as I'm ticketed for a tail light being out. Stress and sadness follow as I go to the courthouse and am pushed out because it can't be taken care of yet. But with a few gifts things feel like there maybe hope in the future. But with how fragile I have become all I can do is hope I make it to that future and someday I will not be broken in a million pieces.

December 23, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 297: Chilled to the bone; Xmas 2017 - Link
In this podcast I talk about holiday events for Destiny 2 and The Elder Scrolls Online.
December 19, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 494) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

I get a donation and can cover the over-due car payment. But with things so tight, and so many smaller things piling up, what would be nothing to an average person seems more and more impossible. I constantly wonder how I will get the $70 for next quarter to keep financial aid off my back, how I will pay for the January car insurance, and even small $10 things to get back on my meds, do laundry, or swap out my backpack for one that's not ripped, seem more and more impossible.

December 12, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 493) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

I get dad's holiday money and it's barely enough to cover the most important bill. While that's a relief that means without help I have no clue how I'll pay for the overdue car payment, or other things like next quarter at school (to keep financial aid at bay.)

December 9, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 296: The Curse and Kobolds - Link
In this podcast I talk about the Destiny 2 expansion Curse of Osiris. There's not much there, about 4 hours to get through the main campaign, but a lot of new items have been added, as well as quest-like weapon unlocks. Hearthstone's Kobolds and Catacombs expansion has also come out, and I got a chance to peek at that, so I discuss the new dungeon mode a little bit.
December 5, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 492) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

As bills come due, and some overdue, and Xmas approaches my mind becomes filled with thoughts of failure, loneliness, loss, and the feeling that help may not come and very soon I may lose what little is left.

November 28, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 491) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

I am panicking over bills that I can't afford. While I can make it by if I get help from dad and maybe some donations, it is difficult to focus on the possibility things will be ok, since I have no guarantee those will happen.

November 25, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 295: Turkey update - Link
In this podcast I don't have anything new, so I just give a quick life update and wish people a happy turkey day.
November 21, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 490) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

The weather turns towards winter, and so people do winter things, reminding me of what I'm missing in life. More and more bill type things seem to keep popping up, putting each more out of reach with each new thing.

November 14, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 489) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week there are many sad times, and winter's cold reminds me of many things I don't have. But I have fun with my games, and I try to hang on.

November 11, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 294: Expanded Destiny - Link
In this podcast I talk about the first 50 hours played in Destiny 2; I talk about the things I like and I'm doing most often. And I talk about what's new and different since the first game.
November 7, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 488) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week there seem to be many reminders of all my upcoming sad bills, and that I am not in a home and can't control my environment. But I try to have fun with my new game and hang on.

October 31, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 487) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week there is a big scare with my laptop. Hopefully this is an issue with the plug and my workaround continues to keep working. With my new game I can keep sufficiently distracted, and emotionally this week I feel ok, though there are still many worries and fears ever-present in the back of my mind.

October 7, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 293: Into the black - Link
In this podcast I talk about the first 12-15 hours played in Destiny 2; my journey from level 1-20. It feels both new and old, in that the spirit of the original game is retained, yet the levels are much larger, have much more going on, and there's a ton more to do. I also talk about a mobile app that I found just in time for Halloween; Into the Dead 2.
October 24, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 486) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

Times are still tough and I struggle to stay ok feeling. A few minor panic attacks happen, and I may be sick, but enough donations come that the November car insurance payment is done.

October 17, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 485) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

I feel more and more alone, and looking beyond today to a better tomorrow is becoming increasingly difficult.

October 10, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 484) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

As the homeless days continue I feel more and more like I am forgetting me. And fear of death continues to loom over me in the back of my mind.

October 7, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 292: Back to the beginning - Link
In this podcast I don't have a lot new to talk about, so I discuss some upcoming things, and I mention an iPad game I've been playing which was one of the first ever I got.
October 3, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 483) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

I can't stop worrying, as the first car insurance payment is now past due. There is no money. On top of that gas is nearly out, my medicines are running out and there is no money for an appointment to get them refilled. Fear and panic are constant.

September 26, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 482) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

In the early part of the week it seems my cold gets a bit worse. And things rapidly seem bleak as time runs out before an insurance payment is due.

September 19, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 481) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

I calm down from my recent panic and fear of death, but every day I seem to be reminded more and more about costs coming up very very soon with no way to pay for them.

September 16, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 291: Finishing all the things - Link
In this podcast I have some thoughts about the Morrowind expansion for Elder Scrolls Online, and a few closing thoughts for XCOM 2: War of the Chosen.
September 12, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 480) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

Even though the week passes without issue, it seems every day I run into things that remind me my life is not normal, and nothing I do is done like other people do.

September 5, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 479) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

Heat and the holiday disrupt the normal homeless life. The brain melts and doesn't function well, but the time passes ok.

September 2, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 290: Shoot all the aliens - Link
In this podcast I ramble a bit about the Destiny 2 beta for PC. And I talk quite a bit about the changes and new features in XCOM 2's expansion War of the Chosen. And there are a few brief thoughts on Warden for Elder Scrolls Online in the close.
August 29, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 478) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

The time with new birthday things cheers me greatly. And although sad things are always on the back of my mind, things seem a bit better, at least for the moment.

August 22, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 477) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

This week my birthday comes and goes. There are happy surprises and the pain of the week before is forgotten. There are monies for nice things, a few things that need to be done, and just a bit for things to come.

August 19, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 289: Coming soon - Link
In this podcast I ramble a bit more about nothing. I ramble about XCOM 2 and the Destinly 2 PC beta, both coming up next week, so I'll have those to talk about next week. And give a sad life update.
August 15, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 476) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

In this week I am in a lot of physical pain due to some tooth issues, as well as emotional pain from reminders of a normal life I don't have.

August 8, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 475) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

In this week I try not to worry about the bills ahead, but they keep coming back to the front of my mind, along with thoughts of what is missing in my life. I try to look at just the happy things and my upcoming birthday, but it is difficult.

August 5, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 288: Little about nothing - Link
In this podcast I ramble a bit about nothing. There's nothing new going on, and not much new for the news. So there is a bit of a life update, which is about the same.
August 1, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 474) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

In this week I have a few panic attacks and fear of death, so I have to try and focus on distraction. But things seem to be looking up emotionally overall, as I get news there is a beta for the game I want to get in October coming the week after my birthday. So I'll get a chance to test my system, and in better news the minimums are much lower than the recent games I struggled with, so it should be very playable. And I saw a very beautiful and attractive girl at the library, which considerably lifted my spirits, as only a few girls have made me smiley and silly feeling just being there. So it's good to know my heart is not too old or broken to feel that again.

July 25, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 473) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

Things are ok for the moment, but as gas runs out again, things become more sad and I begin to worry again.

July 22, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 287: Rambling on why - Link
In this podcast I ramble a bit about why I am playing Secret World Legends despite its shortcomings, and ponder on if I should stop or not. And I ramble about the asshats in Heroes of the Storm, how I don't like PvP, and ramble about why I may still be playing. In the second section I am sad about how two new shows I've been watching, Killjoys and Blood Drive, are behind pay walls.
July 18, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 472) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

The week is extra hard as I watch gas slowly dwindle away to nothing, and am forced to deal with changes in my routine after the (hopefully temporary) loss of being able to help my professor with film classes.

July 11, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 471) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 10 is up.

The registration is paid and that is no longer a worry. But with everyone moving on in life as the school year comes to a close for most I feel sad reflecting upon my own life, as it feels like it is either unmoving or continuing to slowly fall apart around me as time wears down the few things I do have left.

July 8, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 286: Not so Secret World Legends - Link
In this podcast I discuss my top 5 points about the re-launch of The Secret World as the new free to play version Secret World Legends. There are good and bad points about the game, most of which I suspect are unchanged from the original launch. It's a solid free to play offering, horribly plagued by a terrible cash shop pricing structure.
July 4, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 10 (week 470) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 and start of year 10 is up.

Year 9 comes to a close, and Year 10 begins, almost without my even noticing. Things close as they do every day, and this year seemingly nothing comes to mind to reflect upon for the close or open of the years. Maybe there have been too many now.

June 29, '17 - Thursday - System recommendation updates - systems link
Intel's new socket x299 is launching and with that come new hardware recommendations. It should be noted if you are currently on a socket 1151 (the most recent generation) this is more of a sideways step than a step up. You shouldn't need to change over if that's the case, as gains would be extremely minimal. If, however, you are on an older socket I would recommend you consider moving up to x299. But, since it's a bit bleeding edge currently, waiting until later in the year, probably closer to October, would be a good time to upgrade. But be mindful that starting in November we will probably see shortages as the year-end system building frenzy begins.
June 27, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 469) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

I try to remain hopeful, as I am very close to having enough to pay the registration. I download a game which has been re-designed in the hopes of doing something different, yet it feels the same as I remember it feeling five years ago, and so that seems disappointing. But sadness becomes harder to fight off as more and more I know are moving on in their lives, while I must remain, facing the added sadness of the end of yet another fail year coming to a close.

June 24, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 285: Preview of things to come; E3 2017 - Link
In this podcast I talk about BioWare's new IP Anthem, which I'm super excited for. But in the next coming months we have Dishonored 2 and XCOM 2's expansions coming out. And in the next week we should see Intel's new X299 chipset, giving us more CPU cores, and much more ram on motherboards.
June 20, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 468) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

I get another donation and have enough to do smog. I pass without any real issues, and a great weight is lifted from me. I continue to hang on, as I still don't have enough for registration, but with only needing about $50 more I'm hopeful that will come in time, as I still have about a month before it's due. Things continue to be extremely sad overall, but I try to hang on and focus on the few happy things I have.

June 13, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 467) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

Time passes one day at a time, adding up to weeks, and months, and years. And as we come closer to the end of this month, a sad anniversary of the ninth year of being homeless comes to a close, as well as the third year of being unemployed. It becomes tougher to stay happy and not focus on the sad things.

June 10, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 284: Puzzling robots - Link
In this podcast I talk about Star Wars Puzzle Droids. This is a fairly typical match three style game, but there are a lot of interesting animations and Star Wars flavor going on in the background of the game. While the special moves stand out a bit from the competition, in the time I've played so far it doesn't really break the mold from what you expect of this kind of game. But, it's free to play, so if you are interested feel free to give it a try.
June 6, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 466) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

Things are continuing to be extremely sad and stressful. I still don't know how I'll have enough for smog or car registration due in just over a month. I try to hold on and hope that more help will come, but that seems to be all I can do.

May 30, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 465) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

The warm weather turns back to cold. Stress and worry begin to take a toll on my back and shoulders. I grow more and more worried about the car costs coming due soon. The sad reality of things cause me to spend a night crying. But with news of a few fun games coming soon, and knowing the warm weather should return soon, I try to remain hopeful for the future.

May 27, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 283: Steambot - Link
In this podcast I talk about SteamWorld Heist, a turn based randomly generated strategy game. And I ramble a little bit about why I was hesitant about playing Destiny 2, and why I've come to the conclusion that I would very much like to play.
May 23, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 464) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

Help comes and I am again saved. The cold is finally gone and the warm and hot weather returns. News of a game sequel gives me something to look forward to, though if my system could run it, and if I would get the money to afford it, remain out of my control. But for the moment hope is renewed.

May 16, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 463) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

Stress and worry begin to take a toll, as I get a bit sick one day, and have a lot of neck and shoulder pain from the muscles locking up.

May 13, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 282: Free things, meh - Link
In this podcast I talk about two free to play mobile games. The first is Bomb Hunters which is basically a new school hybrid of Frogger and Bomber Man. You go through randomly generated levels trying to defuse the bombs before they go off. The second game is Shop Heroes, which requires you to be online. This is an odd resource management game in that you play as a shop keep trying to gear up adventurers. With your earnings you upgrade the town to unlock more heroes and more crafts.
May 9, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 462) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

Things seem more bleak than ever as the last of my money is put into the gas tank, and what is there will only last a few weeks. I feel as if what little I have left will soon be gone.

May 2, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 461) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

Things seem extra sad as my money continues to near zero. But the weather begins to warm up, so at least maybe I won't be cold for a few months.

April 29, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 281: For the swarm... for now - Link
In this podcast I talk about getting back into Heroes of the Storm, and give a sad life update.
April 25, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 460) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

This week seems extra sad, as I feel extra alone, worry about money more than ever, and a few things come up that make me feel broken hearted.

April 18, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 459) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

This week I am very sad as sad things seem to be closing in. I try to hang on to hope, but it is becoming more difficult.

April 15, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 280: Card Thief - Link
In this podcast I talk about Card Thief; a super cute and very addictive stealth solitaire game. You guide a thief through various castles in an attempt to grab the treasure and escape without being caught. Strategy and planning play a big part in your sneaky fun times.
April 11, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 458) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

This week I finally have the money back my insurance company took, but what there is doesn't last long, as one bill and school parking take up the bulk of it. Again I am very worried about how quickly what I have left will disappear to nothing.

April 6, '17 - Thursday - System recommendation updates - systems link
Change of AMD stuff to accommodate AM4 and Ryzen. Additions of M.2 drives, though they are too expensive outside of a few systems recommendations. Intel motherboard changes to accommodate the M.2 stuff.
April 4, '17 - Tuesday - Epic Fail book 9 (week 457) - Link
The next week of Epic Fail year 9 is up.

This week I am super sick, possibly from stress and worry about the money my car insurance company is continuing to hold. But some help comes, and I get a bit of wiggle room and can hopefully hang on.

April 1, '17 - Saturday - rabb1t's ramblings podcast 279: Among the stars - Link
In this podcast I talk about Mass Effect: Andromeda. I like the overall story and game play quite a bit. I talk about the new MMO style crafting elements, the changes to the skill and class system, and the various mini game types. The UI seems ok, but problematic at times, as the radar doesn't indicate range well, and crafting or merchant windows could be a lot clearer. The character animations feel flat compared to the voice acting, but I'm willing to forgive it due to being a new game engine and there being so much to animate. I have found a few annoying bugs, one which was game crippling in that I had to replay about 5 hours of game play, but most are fairly minor. The multiplayer component seems like it's underdeveloped, and pretty much a straight port of ME3 multiplayer. It seems like they could have done more. But overall I enjoy Andromeda quite a bit.

Archived Blogs

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2006-2015
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