Week 893
Day 6245 - 8/6 - Sweating hot
Today and yesterday too it was actually sweaty hot for the times I was outside. I guess maybe we are finally getting a real summer here. Other than that I've still been really sneezy and congested, which is not great. I did some hobby stuff, so that is ok. Little steps forward are still steps forward. But other than that it was a fairly regular day.
Day 6246 - 8/7 - Heat sick
Today I maybe feel a bit heat sick. I am in the outside for a bit, but it was so hot I was sweating. I don't know if my food just didn't agree with me or if it was caused by too much heat, but I wasn't feeling too great. So I mostly just took the day off and was pretty casual with everything.
I have another horrible eye poking tomorrow, so I am not looking forward to that. Lately my average vision is back down to pretty bad, about where it was when we started the pokings. I don't know if that is due to bad blood pressure lately or other factors. But it's very sad as, to me, that implies it's just never going to get any better, let alone stay better. I can see well enough I suppose, but everything being between a little and quite a bit blurry all the time is very heartbreaking. Really the only thing I can even try to do to help is again trying to maybe lose some weight. But I'm only around the 190s last I checked, which means at most I could hope to lose 15 pounds, which with how sensitive my tummy is and how restricted my food choices are seems pretty unlikely. I suppose it could be said in the early days of my homeless times I was around 165-170, which I'd love to get back down to again. But at that time I was also closer to 40, so it seems unlikely now pushing past 55, nearly 56, that will be easy to get to.
I guess all I can do is try to stay positive and hopefully that will let me make a serious attempt and maybe change can happen eventually.
Day 6247 - 8/8 - Another poking
Today was another poking. I'd been feeling like the past few weeks my vision has actually gotten worse. When they checked the bad bump it was indeed basically 15% bigger than last time, so that makes sense that it's been seeming worse. They changed the medicine (again.) Apparently there are 4 types, and so they hope this one will have better results.
The day before the appointment went super quickly. I really had no time to do anything except just a bit of playing. After, I was in roughly 90F+ weather. But it was ok to take a bit of a break and just listen to stuff for a while in my car. Hopefully it will calm down quickly enough, because I lost sleep last night due to the heat. Hopefully tomorrow will be a cooler regular day.
Day 6248 - 8/9 - Fast then slow
Today passed weirdly. My eyes were having a super bad vision day to start, so that time passed very quickly. I actually did a bit of the pen and paper hobby stuff I've wanted to do lately, even though I had a rough time seeing. But I did just a little bit, maybe 1.5 hours, then switched to playing stuff before my bad vision caused me to make a mistake with my changes to my hobby stuff. While I was playing time seemed to slow to a crawl. At the end of my half day playing it had felt like I just spent all day playing.
I guess the day was pretty ok other than that. Though I was pretty congested, very sneezy, kind of had a headache all day, and my ears were ringing a bit.
Day 6249 - 8/10 - Ok so far
Today seems ok so far. I feel kind of meh in terms of general health, and my vision is not great, but I think it will be an ok day.
I have some more hobby stuff ready to go, so hopefully I can do that. Then all the old stuff being updated will be done and I can move on to just new stuff. There still isn't a lot of interest, usually 1-2 downloads per day for each, but I guess that's not nothing.
Day 6250 - 8/11 - Hopefully cooling down
Today hopefully things will be cooling down. I know forever I wanted it to be more summer weather, but lately 90F+ has been too much. Hopefully things will be calming down and not quite so hot today.
Day 6251 - 8/12 - Hopefully cool Tuesday
Today really all I hope for is a nice summer day that is warm and not too hot. I've been of pretty poor health lately with sneezing, congestion, tummy issues, headaches, and more, and it has made me feel pretty bad and sad about my general health overall, but hopefully I can continue to hang on until better days.
Week 894
Day 6252 - 8/13 - Broken back, still
Today my back is still pretty broken. For some reason on Monday just before noon it pretty much locked up. So below my shoulders to about my butt really doesn't want to arch back. Sitting down is fine, but getting up and straightening to stand up has been like huuuurrrrr. It's not so painful I can't do it, it's just kind of more a pain and only 10% of the speed it should be moving. I should probably get up and do minor stretching every 30 minutes to help flexibility, but I guess it's recovering ok. It's happened a couple of times before, and without relaxing drugs stretching really doesn't seem to do much.
Besides that I guess the day was pretty ok. Food wasn't great, but certainly not as bad as it could have been. I didn't feel like doing any hobby stuff. Mostly I guess because it doesn't feel like anyone really cares. I do seem to be getting 1-2 downloads on each of my things every day, so that is more than I expected, but barely anyone is paying for them. And there has been no new star ratings, and still zero reviews, so I still don't know what that means.
I guess all I can do is try my best to be ok physically, and try to hang on emotionally as best as I can.
Day 6253 - 8/14 - Mostly better back
Today I'd say my back is about 75% of normal. There is still some stiffness when I get up, but it's only about 5-10 seconds to get fully straight and the discomfort is very mild.
I guess it was a pretty ok day. I did some pen and paper art coloring for a few hours, so that is a small step forward.
I guess I feel pretty ok in general, but I still feel kind of uncared for, unsupported, and alone.
Day 6254 - 8/15 - Still creatively sad
Today I am still feeling a bit sad creatively, so I had a few thoughts for my hobby stuff, but didn't actually put them down yet. The brain is still feeling like in general people really don't care. But I know that isn't true, and so I am slowly recovering towards hopefully getting back into more days of doing stuff than not. I did also do some coloring stuff I had waiting from before yesterday, so that was something. I just didn't really feel motivated today. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better. I guess my back is pretty much better. It's still a bit stiff, but it wasn't struggling to get up and straighten, so that's good.
Overall I suppose today was pretty ok, even if my food ran through me and I didn't feel super great because of it, and I didn't do any hobby stuff.
Day 6255 - 8/16 - Cold start, moist end
Today was pretty good. I made some small steps forward with my pen and paper hobby stuff, so I feel pretty good about that. Some people said some encouraging stuff on the social pages lately, so I feel a bit less sad about things.
Today started out pretty cold, yesterday it even sprinkled on me in the morning, and it's been cold for a few days now. The 80-90F weather has disappeared quickly. But now it is what most would describe as 'muggy.' There is a really extreme moisture level in the air that you really only see on the east coast, and maybe in the south. I think I've only seen a few days like this here in my entire life. So things are kind of eew in weather right now.
But overall I guess today was ok. I hung on ok, and hope tomorrow will be better.
Day 6256 - 8/17 - Different hobbying
Today I did some stuff for my PC things. I guess I haven't really touched that side of things in a year, so that is pretty crazy. I'm taking it a bit slow and doing a full check and updating some of the text that I haven't changed for years and years, so that may be a few days to get through and finish. I'd like to do my new pen and paper stuff, but I'll just do whichever my brain wants to do at the time. Lately a few hours of hobby creating is about all my brain can take in a day. Both are more 'work' than I'd prefer due to the phase they are at.
I guess other than that things are ok. My back is still a tiny bit stiff, so I should be careful so I don't wreck it. But I guess I feel ok overall.
Day 6257 - 8/18 - Unknown Monday
Today I don't know what to expect or hope for really. Hopefully my back will be better and hopefully foods and my tummy will be ok.
Day 6258 - 8/19 - Unknown Tuesday
Today I don't know what to expect. Tomorrow is another homeless birthday. I will probably get an ok cooked dinner, but really today and tomorrow will probably just be regular homeless days.
