Week 899
Day 6287 - 9/17 - Brain doesn't work
Today I am so extremely tired my brain isn't working at all. I was going to try to do some pen and paper hobby stuff, but I have had zero energy, and zero brain processing power. I would guess it's a combination of physical exhaustion as well as extra stress exhaustion from the storage changes, and on Monday the terrible eye poking. Hopefully I recover soon, but usually when I feel this exhausted it's close to a week to recover. In good news I got word dad sent extra money, so if there is still regular gift money he sends during the holidays, all added up I will be very tight on things, but shouldn't be terribly short for bill money. (Assuming there are more sales of my pen and paper hobby stuff.)
Day 6288 - 9/18 - Okish with headache
Today I felt okish. I was still extremely exhausted and didn't want to do anything. I had a bit of a headache too. I guess it was an ok day, though I did kind of want to do pen and paper writing/creating but I knew my brain would not have it with how exhausted I felt. Maybe soon I won't feel so bad and can go back to being creative.
Day 6289 - 9/19 - Extremely tired again
Today I am very extremely tired again. I wanted to do pen and paper stuff, but again I just felt completely exhausted. Plus I actually had some podcast stuff I needed to do, so that used up a lot of my time.
I guess the day was ok, but really I was just so exhausted I didn't feel like doing anything and couldn't think clearly.
Day 6290 - 9/20 - Better day
Today was a better day. I did a couple of hours of pen and paper writing and I felt pretty good about how that turned out. Part of me wanted to do more, but I both didn't want to burn out by doing too much, and I still feel like it seems like probably no one will care about it. There are still some people downloading my current stuff, but really no one is ever offering to pay anything, let alone pay the suggested $10 price, which feels very sad. I will be doing a lot less for this new thing, so I'm guessing I'll have a suggested price of $2.50, which may get a better response, both because it's cheaper and smaller. Maybe the other two being 125 pages feels like too much.
My tummy felt a bit off though. I don't know why, but it basically has never felt like it used to since the big sick. I don't know if I should go to a tummy doctor and have them check things, or if it's part of getting older that it always feels a bit off. Of course I still can't rule out the fact that I'm homeless and especially since the healthy food store closed I am forced to eat an overly high amount of lunchmeat foods and a near nonexistent amount of fruits and vegetables. Though of the two about once or twice a month for a while now I have gotten a small thing of mixed berries. Pretty much the only time I have vegetables though is about once every three months when I get Panda fast food. I could get some salad from the regular food store, which I did used to do pretty frequently back in the day. But since the big sick for whatever reason salad wrecks me more than anything else.
I still feel extremely tired; to the point I feel like I could flop over and fall asleep at any second. But I am very slowly improving, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Day 6291 - 9/21 - Trying no meat
Today I am trying to have a no meat day. I haven't done nachos in forever because both the cheese and possibly the corn chips have wrecked me. Hopefully I'll be ok since I haven't done either in forever.
Hopefully today will be an ok day. I am going to try to do some pen and paper work which I feel hopeful about. I'm still really tired though, so I don't know how well my brain will think today.
Day 6292 - 9/22 - Hopefully creative
Today hopefully will be a creative day. I don't really have anything that I expect for the day, so hopefully I can be creative and it will be ok.
Day 6293 - 9/23 - Maybe creative Tuesday
Today hopefully will be creative, but I may still be very tired, so hopefully I can recover and be ok.
Week 900
Day 6294 - 9/24 - Feeling better
Today I am feeling better. I am finally getting a bit caught up on sleep. And the past few days I've had fun doing some pen and paper stuff. I think I can maybe finish in a couple of weeks to have it ready for spoopy time play.
Overall I guess it was a better day, though I still hope I can get back to a normal life in a home someday.
Day 6295 - 9/25 - Upset tummy
Today I have had a pretty upset tummy. I am really beginning to think I have issues with any red meat that isn't cooked. A lot of times when I get lunchmeat now it just feels like it's made of clay and sitting in my tummy not moving for hours and hours. Yesterday when I had a ramen and chicken soup it felt fine. (I found if I do 30-25% less than the total noodles it cooks way better and makes me feel not overly full, so it's a good amount.) I don't know what is causing the issue. It never did this before the big sick, but I can't rule out continuing decline of my health overall due to being homeless, or age, so it could be any of those issues.
Checking news apparently the fancy food store near me that closed back in April is supposed to open back up on Monday. I'll believe it when I see it. But if it does, that may mean I can go back to doing micro food twice a week, which usually I would do pot stickers which have a tiny bit of vegetables, currently more than the zero I typically get. (Not counting if I do a vegetable soup.) And I can do the cooked food and salad food too, claim it all as salad, and then the food stamp money covers it. (Cold and hot food there are the same price, but I'm apparently not allowed to buy hot food with my food card except at special places, which makes no sense.) So hopefully my health can get way better if I can start doing that again Monday.
I apparently spent nearly 3 hours doing some pen and paper stuff that I thought would only take 1, so that is crazy. If I want to finish the project it takes the time it takes, so I guess that big step is done.
Since my last eye poking it seems like I see further better, but up close stuff like small text on my laptop feels like it's even harder to see. I really have no idea if that is true based on the damage, or if my issue is getting worse in a weird way, or like with everything else it's just a big slip due to age.
I guess overall I feel pretty good about the day, but I do worry very much for my general health, and with my exhaustion feeling returning, I wonder if I will ever go back to feeling at least somewhat normal.
Day 6296 - 9/26 - More long hobby stuff
Today was a pretty ok day. I again spent much too long doing a thing that I expected wouldn't take long for my pen and paper stuff. Hopefully I can finish that section tomorrow that I thought I'd finish today.
I was still really exhausted feeling and food didn't sit super great in my tummy. It certainly could have been better, but it wasn't the worst either. Overall it was an otherwise good day.
Day 6297 - 9/27 - Other ideas
Today I have another idea for my pen and paper stuff; a fifth thing. I would hope I finish with the 4th thing that I'm working on now, then go back to the 3rd before really getting into the 5th, but I may keep postponing the 3rd. It will probably wind up being 100+ pages, so I think that is probably part of why my brain is avoiding it. The new 5th thing will probably be like the 4th in that it should just be very small, so my brain will probably prefer that.
But I feel pretty ok. While my brain feels extremely exhausted again (probably due to losing 4 hours of sleep last night for no reason) I do feel a bit energized by the ideas for the 5th thing, so that is always good to keep creative. But which I do when, and even what I do moment to moment can vary a lot depending on my mood at the time.
Day 6298 - 9/28 - Ok so far
Today has been ok so far. It's barely around noon and after a vegetable soup my tummy feels mostly ok. I'm still overly tired, but feel ready to do some pen and paper hobby stuff. I won't have a lot of time to do it today though, but hopefully I can do what my brain wants to get done.
Day 6299 - 9/29 - Maybe hot dinner
Today I will maybe get a hot food dinner. The fancy food store is supposed to reopen today. Though I am doubtful it will. I think it was Friday that I went by and the temporary metal fence around the massive parking lot was still there. I'd think if it were to be opening that would be cleared out and there would be 'grand reopening' signs along with the date, and they'd want to do that at least a week in advance. I'll check again tonight when I leave the library because not having reopening signs and leaving the fence to be cleared only hours before reopening would seem insane.
Day 6300 - 9/30 - Probably regular Tuesday
Today will probably be a pretty regular Tuesday. I don't know what I'll do. Hopefully I can do whatever pen and paper hobby stuff my brain wants to do, but I still wonder if it's worth my time. The number of people who pay for it has become appallingly low, and only 1 download typically happens per day. It still may be the specific things I have up. I will probably finish the shorter thing I'm doing now, which is probably a less published type of game, then I'll probably do the 5th thing because it should also be short, then probably go back for the very big 3rd thing. I guess we'll see what happens after that, as then all of my 'big ideas' will be done. I guess if I stay interested after that will depend on overall reception of the different genera of things. Maybe it's just taking time to gain momentum and I will get love and appreciation for what I've done in time.
