Week 905
Day 6329 - 10/29 - Inconclusive results
Today I have inconclusive results for my gluten testing. If I total bad food points for the day it would be 1 for donut, 1 for it being a chocolate donut, 1 for sourdough bread, and 1 for salami, double the last two if we count dinner separately, that would be a total of 6 points. But I actually feel better than I did yesterday when I would have only had 1 point total. So I really don't know what is going on. (Unless I have to count corn chips as a bad food. I'm still not sure if my body is reacting badly to them.) At this point it seems like there is no short term answer and when my tummy gets bad it may be due to other factors making it less able to resist the bad foods, or some other additive effect over a longer period of time.
I think I will stop trying to completely mentally track things all the time, go back to eating more 'regularly', then just keep a low level track of things. (Like today has 4-6 bad points so I try to have less tomorrow.)
I guess the day was pretty good. I finished the second adventure arc for my pen and paper game that I'm working on, which leaves just some art (super time consuming) and a few polishing touches. The rest where I add more stuff could be left for a post 1.0 update. There will be no way I could do what is left by Halloween on Friday, but it's fine. No one is waiting for it, and I am not under any contract or anything to finish at a particular time. It will certainly be soon. Probably the first or second week next month if I take a lot of extra time with it.
But overall today was a pretty decent day.
Day 6330 - 10/30 - Soda rationing
Today I have started soda rationing. I'm going to try to do half for this next week, then I'll see if I can reduce further. It's pretty much the most expensive food item I get since I have to buy a big batch at a time. On a per day cost it's actually not very much, about the same as any snacks or desserts, which I'll also have to be cutting back on. I should be ok for a couple of weeks before things get too bad, but I guess we'll see.
Today was a pretty good day overall. I did a bit of stuff with my pen and paper game. It is effectively 'feature complete' and is missing art. I would like to do more enemies and random loot, but I won't hold it back for that. I'll just do that in an update in a few weeks. I will probably take tomorrow off due to spooky day, though really all I have for celebrating is a few special cookies that are spooky shaped. But overall the day was pretty good, though extra tired from lack of sleep.
Day 6331 - 10/31 - Spooky day
Today I was expecting to not do any pen and paper stuff. It's basically 'content complete' and needs a final check and several art things. But I actually thought up some stuff to add, so I spent a regular amount of time working on it. I'd like to get a few more random things in there before 1.0 but I don't think I'll be able to think of any before then.
I am confused about my tummy now. Two days ago I had salami and bread. Today I had pastrami and a bread. On both times my tummy felt extra acidic probably due to the grease, but it didn't have that clay lump feeling it had been having lately. So I definitely give up on serious tracking. Clearly at this point it is probably something that builds up over time and will be difficult to track, and it isn't going to be a simple task of adding up 'bad food' points. I am again left wondering maybe if it's just a rare thing. Like having corn chips now for nearly the past week has started to feel bad. Switching to potato chips today my tummy feels fine.
I don't know how the spooky day evening will go, but today so far was pretty good.
Day 6332 - 11/1 - Feeling off
Today I feel off. I guess it's partly due to a migraine, and my eyes feel like they are going to roll up into my head from muscle strain, but I feel weird. I guess I could just really use a vacation day from my sad life and needing to constantly worry about everything. And now on top of that I may need to seriously start worrying about food in a couple of weeks, and I already am having to start rationing and cutting every 'luxury' out to just get the most efficient cost effective food.
I guess it was an ok day. I did about an hour with my pen and paper stuff. I wanted to do more, but mostly just need to do art stuff, and my eyes just weren't focusing well enough.
Overall I just feel extra sad and melancholy. I guess due to Halloween time. Yet another reminder that I can't put out decorations and do my traditional yearly things because my life is very sad. 
Day 6333 - 11/2 - Lost track
Today has been pretty good so far. I kind of lost track of time as I started doing pen and paper stuff and forgot about doing this writing for a while. So that is a good sign that I have good ideas I wanted to get out before I forgot. I'm not sure how much more I will do today, but I have a few ideas and two things I need to digitize and color, so that is probably a few hours.
Day 6334 - 11/3 - Hopefully ok
Today will hopefully be ok. With the tiny bit of extra sleep due to the time change on Sunday I feel a bit less sleepy. Hopefully I can continue to catch up and feel ok.
Day 6335 - 11/4 - Probably regular Tuesday
Today will probably be pretty regular. I'm nearing 1.0 release for my pen and paper supplement I've been working on, so hopefully I am finishing that up and having an ok day. And hopefully I can continue to hang on and feel ok with the food crunch I will probably have to be doing in the coming weeks.
Week 906
Day 6336 - 11/5 - Probably terrible news
Today has been full of probably terrible news. Yesterday I got a letter from the food stamp people saying at the end of January they probably will be ending my food coverage because I need to be working at least 80 hours a month or qualify for an exemption. I guess I can try and do some volunteering at the library to qualify, but since their regular employees are likely not even getting 20 hours a week I don't see why they would take a not specially trained adult instead of a teen. (As in I don't have a second language to do translation services, or have special things I could tutor people in.)
And then late in the day I got a reminder message saying the government is still shut down so November benefits are for sure delayed.
But this may be it. When I eventually get the November food money, then December, it's possible they could say I no longer qualify at the end of my cycle, not even give me January before the rule change, and then I have no idea how I would pay for food. I could try and stretch things out like I did in the early days and only have a single can of soup and maybe one soda if I'm lucky per day, but once the money stops I will rapidly have no food money. 
I want to continue to try and do my writing. Even with just this news possibility it pretty much crushed all of my creativity and what little happiness I had to try and do it. Ever since I was 12 I wanted to design games, and now I am at least able to try. But if I'm forced to go back to a job, which I have not yet found one I'd like to do, I would probably have no time or hopeful spirit left to try and be creative.
While nothing has really changed yet, and may still not, I can't help but feel like very soon my world, what little is left of it, will crumble and I will be forced to do things that put me back into a dead end position, where there is no hope and no joy and my life is no longer my own.
Day 6337 - 11/6 - Stomach punch soup
Today was not great. The on sale soups I got made me feel like I'd been punched in the bladder. It was very different and weird compared to the normal tummy pain that I get.
I was still pretty sad and thrown off from the potential loss of my food money. I still haven't decided what I will try and do about that. Really there isn't much I can do. I will maybe look at the graduation requirements for the two degrees I effectively should have finished and see if I can either get those closed out, or if not, then see if the classes I am missing are an option next quarter. Being at least half time as a student would qualify for the exemption to not lose the food money, but for how long?
I feel less worried about my life collapsing, but it is at no less risk today than after first getting the news. But as always, all I can do is try and hang on one day at a time.
Day 6338 - 11/7 - Very sad feeling / Food for now
Today was a very sad feeling day. All day I have felt unsafe, and like I would start uncontrollably crying. If I could have, had I a home, I probably would have stayed bundled up in bed and kept my stuffed bunnies and kitties near me for hugging.
In good news though when I got my food in the morning I saw that the money for November has appeared, so I have that food money, for now. There is still the threat of permanently losing it at the end of January if I don't get an exception and that will take a bit to work out what to do about that.
Surprisingly I felt pretty focused and did some important stuff for my pen and paper stuff. I did think up some more stuff to add, though I still have a fair bit of art and stuff to do before this is ready, but hopefully people will like it when it is very soon.
And hopefully even with low days like today I can continue to hang on.
Day 6339 - 11/8 - Too many sneezes
Today there are too many sneezes. Like all day I've sneezed every 15-30 minutes. I don't know why. Either I caught a whiff of someone I was allergic to in the morning which has set me off all day, or I have a cold.
I felt pretty creative and felt like I did a good amount on my pen and paper stuff. That is going to become more important than ever if I lose my food money.
But I started to get a headache, and overall I was still very sad, so after a few hours I stopped. I didn't really feel like playing after, so I did a game that I'm playing super casually just for about 30 minutes and that was it for playing.
I am still the most depressed ever, but outside of that I guess the day was ok.
Day 6340 - 11/9 - Almost forgot
Today I almost forgot to do my writing. I did have my writing book right under my drawing book, so I would have seen it if I wanted to start drawing.
I guess I feel ok today. I am still very worried about food money, but I will look into what to do about the exemption next week after the holiday. Until then all I can do is try my best to hang on one day at a time.
Day 6341 - 11/10 - Regular Monday
Today will likely be a pretty regular Monday. Hopefully I can do some stuff with my pen and paper game. I may be able to get the 1.0 version out for this sometime this week. It's almost ready. Hopefully I can and lots of people will like it. Then I still have the two previous ones to go back to, with maybe a short break before that to update some stuff. Hopefully it will be good, and maybe at least a little bit happy day.
Day 6342 - 11/11 - Outside Tuesday
Today will probably be sad, certainly disrupted. The library will be closed so I will probably spend a few hours at the place I shower, limited in what I can do. Then be forced outside for a bit. Then maybe a couple of hours at the food store. Then forced outside a bit again.
Hopefully I can do some art for the pen and paper supplement, but we'll see. It will depend on how much my mood is disrupted by the forced outside time.
As always I will try to continue to hang on, one day at a time.
