Week 907
Day 6343 - 11/12 - Forgotten day
Today I apparently forgot to write. The day outside threw off my internal clock on timing and what day it was. It was a generally ok day. I finished my 3rd pen and paper supplement last night and posted, so I have been waiting for it to get cleared for people to play. Most of the rest of the day I did regular things with the occasional check for news on its release.
Day 6344 - 11/13 - Still waiting
Today I am a bit sad. I have still been waiting all day for my pen and paper supplement to be released for people to play with. Hopefully people will like it. I think I did a super good job on it.
I did start going back to the previous ones to do some updating, so that has been like visiting old friends. After I finish those updates I'll go back to try and finish my original 3rd idea, which is based around superheroes.
Day 6345 - 11/14 - Third release
Today my 3rd supplement was finally released. Yay. Though it technically is my 5th idea, not counting two other ideas that never got past a single notes page. I thought I'd be taking a couple of days off, but I really didn't and I'm happily updating the previous ones to match some of my new formatting, and getting back to the 3rd idea that I got stuck on previously.
So today was pretty good. I didn't look into my stuff for my food stamps, so that was bad, but I didn't want any possible further bad news by finding dead ends or what not to bring down my mood. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.
Day 6346 - 11/15 - Not much so far
Today there hasn't been much of a reception to my announcement about my pen and paper stuff releasing. Still just a few responding or downloading. It will probably be about a week for any real response to build, so I won't let it get me down.
I did feel not sad enough to check on school in hopes of using that for the exemption to continue getting food stamp money. The degree checking tool I guess only works for what I am currently signed up under, which seems odd. But for graphic arts it says I am missing 2 classes. One is a P.E. one, which will have to be in person, and the other is an entry level graphic design one. The thing is I could swear I've done that one before. And I have distinct memories of taking a yoga class in order to get my degree before. Yet neither show up on my list of classes. I'd have no way to prove that I took the yoga class, but later I will check my backup files for evidence of taking the design class. (Oddly no evidence of taking it was found.) I wouldn't mind doing those to close out and officially have the extra degree, but that may not guarantee I can keep my food money. And it would take like 75% of all of the money I have to sign up for them, putting me dangerously short on money. (And dad never sent money or a card for Halloween, which is basically unheard of. So if he's passed, which he is 86 now and grandpa passed at 87, I will have zero help from him in the future.) Though I guess I don't have much of a choice but to try, and hope it is enough.
Day 6347 - 11/16 - Too tired
Today I am way too tired. I feel like I will fall asleep any moment. I'm still sneezing a super lot too, have been for like four days now. I've had a very strong chocolate chip cookie craving lately too. I got some, had two, and my tummy isn't the happiest. I probably should have just had one. There are probably doubly bad for me since they are both chocolate and have gluten.
I guess today will be ok. It's just after noon now. I'm super tired, so probably won't be able to be very productive or creative today.
Day 6348 - 11/17 - Check the things
Today I was going to probably commit to classes, but checking online it looks like I may not have applied for financial aid, expecting not to go. I think financial aid can ok me for the stuff I usually do get though. They call it a 'fee waiver' and it's done at the college level, not through federal form level, and I think they have done it before when I had not gotten through FASA's federal thing. I sent an email asking, so that may get a response mid-week or so.
Hopefully I have a good day overall.
Day 6349 - 11/18 - Hopefully regular
Today will hopefully be a pretty regular day with some pen and paper stuff, some play and shows, and hopefully no new bad news.
Week 908
Day 6350 - 11/19 - Ok start, sad end
Today was a pretty good day. I finished an update on one of my pen and paper games, so that was good. And later in the day I counted the food I have for tomorrow, thought about how I may lose food money in a few months, and felt pretty sad. It is already tough trying to be conservative, and that is with flexibility to get more if I need. 
Day 6351 - 11/20 - Reading headache
Today I got a headache reading my pen and paper stuff. That has happened for the past few days. It has slowed my extra reading quite a bit. Hopefully it doesn't continue to slow me down like this for long as it makes getting back to the creative part extra slow.
I guess it was a reasonably ok day other than that. I had an ok time, but still fixated on worrying about food and other bills.
Day 6352 - 11/21 - Early Turkey money
Today I got some early Turkey day money from dad. So I guess he's ok. I tried sending a thank you email and his email box is apparently full, so that still seems odd. He also had an 11th date on the check, which also feels odd.
I didn't do much with my pen and paper stuff today. I felt pretty sad and depressed, so I wasn't in a good mood for doing it.
I did send the exception form for food stamps though. I noticed something super odd when I did. The very first check box, which I somehow didn't notice before, was 'homeless and do not have basic needs met, such as shelter, heat, and an ability to cook.' Why would they say I need to do an exception form if they already know that I'm homeless? Shouldn't that have been automatically flagged and not need to put that on an exemption form? Well, either way, I checked that, and checked that I'll be taking classes, and filled in that I'm trying to do self publishing writing. I don't 100% know I will get cleared for the school things I normally get covered for since I had to apply earlier this week, but I'll check next week and see if it's cleared.
Overall I guess it was an ok day. I played a bit, and watched some shows, though didn't enjoy things as much as I would have due to being sad and super depressed.
Day 6353 - 11/22 - Quick day
Today passed very quickly. I don't know why it felt like it did. Time seemed to be moving slow or at a normal speed, but overall it passed quickly.
I think it's maybe because I still feel a bit sad and depressed. I know this is not the case, because I got an email today from someone who said they were looking forward to playing one of my supplements with their adult kids, but I guess I still feel like due to the very few who pay compared to the total downloads it feels like maybe people don't like it or don't feel that I'm worth supporting. And with an announcement today about new official content, while that is very cool and exciting, I guess that makes me feel like the love and effort I have put into the supplements I did will be meaningless, and I will remain an obscure and unknown nobody overall.
Day 6354 - 11/23 - Ok, but short
Today I feel a bit more ok, but it will be short. Sundays are always cut short due to the typing and posting of things. I've been sneezing a ton, but hopefully it will be a restful and ok day.
Day 6355 - 11/24 - Maybe school
Today I'll check in on the financial aid stuff and maybe sign up for classes. I still don't know how much protection for food money it will grant, but hopefully it will be enough. I can only live one day at a time these days, and all I can do is continue to try to hang on.
Day 6356 - 11/25 - Another eye poking
Today will be another terrible eye poking. They said they might want to try a steroid one for this time, so I guess we'll see. Apparently it has a higher risk of negative effects, so that didn't sound great.
The week will get very wobbly due to Turkey day, so it will be extra important for today and tomorrow to be as regular as possible. Hopefully I can continue to hang on.
