Week 929
Day 6497 - 4/15 - Forced kidney check
Today I couldn't take it anymore. I've been messaging my doc and after like 5 messages they finally got me set up to retest my blood for kidney function and have a phone appointment set for Monday. I've been freaking out more and more every day since the last check, so hopefully it's either better and I can get her to adjust meds or whatever to get it back on track if need be. (Edit: Apparently it's been 3 months since the last check, what the hell.) It's insane to me she has just ignored it like I've been out of normal range this whole time when the only other time in my life my kidney function was bad was when a medication was being harmful to me.
I guess it was an ok day other than that. Tummy was a bit upset by the food my brain wanted to taste, so that was bad. I really wanted to do pen and paper stuff in the morning, but then had a very hard time starting. But I eventually did a couple of hours, so that was good. But overall it was a pretty sad feeling regular homeless day.
Day 6498 - 4/16 - Differently creative
Today I was differently creative. I spent my creative time doing stuff for my podcast. It always takes longer to do video editing than I think it will, but I don't know, maybe someday my efforts will matter to someone.
I did make a full price sale on one of my pen and paper supplements, so that is very nice that someone believes in it enough to not only not pay zero, but pay the full suggested price (of just $7.50.) It's nice to know someone believes in me and appreciates what I did.
I guess overall it was an ok day. I was still a bit sad, but I guess less than usual. Tomorrow I'll do a blood re-re-retest, so we'll see if that maybe is better or worse news.
Day 6499 - 4/17 - Literally no focus
Today started pretty good in terms of mood. I was looking forward to doing creative stuff for my pen and paper stuff, but once I settled in at the library I literally couldn't focus anymore. For like the past couple of weeks the floater in my bad eye, which is right in the center of my view, has not only resurfaced (it was gone for a while) but I think it's closer to the focal point. So now instead of a small squiggly line it's like this spotted oval washed out area that whooshes back and forth over about 1/3 of my entire view as I move my eye around. It's not really bad at distances past about arms reach, probably because I'm focusing further away, but for some reason the closer stuff has a greater blurred whoosh. So it's extremely distracting and I couldn't focus on really anything. It's almost like all higher brain function was basically force shut down from that point on.
Sadly I didn't see my lab results posted, which likely means they won't finish doing it until Monday. I really hope it's done before the call with the doc at 1 Monday otherwise I don't know what we'll talk about.
I've still been pretty sad lately, but I guess all things considered today was a pretty neutral homeless day. And thankfully nothing bad happened to make things worse.
Day 6500 - 4/18 - Upended day
Today was a very topsy turvey day. Things were totally normal until shortly after I got to the library. About 30 minutes after they opened the power dropped and they immediately kicked everyone out. (Which is very unusual since historically during the day they have waited about an hour before doing that.) I decided not to go to the next closest library, since last time the power dropped it was back up in less than an hour after I left. (Going to the other library, unpacking, repacking, driving back, burns 20-30 minutes, not counting the cost in gas.) Unfortunately I guess the issue was pretty big, covering basically a 2 square mile area. The library did seem to get power back around noon, but there seemed like there was no sign of anyone inside. Just after 1 I decided to check around the side of the library to discover there was only one car in the entire employee parking area. They must have been ordered to abandon the library and ignore when the power came back on and just close for the whole day.
I left and went about 1/4 mile away to the place I shower. They have a good signal and power there. Things were fine and I played a bit and was watching shows when I noticed staff were scurrying around and yelling into various rooms. It never occurred to me to check the weekend hours. Indeed they were closing in just 10 minutes, a full hour sooner than I had planned on leaving.
While I was there though something odd happened. I got a random page from the place that does my prescriptions saying some blood pressure test was ready. I got some random doctor's name who I've never heard of who set that up, but I'm guessing it's because the entire building I regularly go to is closed on the weekends. Checking for the test results they had come in, but the high end was still outside of normal kidney function, better at 1.45 something down from 1.55 something. And the second one was actually just barely into normal range at 57, where it's normal range is 56-130. But one new test was now out of normal range at 8 where 10 is normal. Checking online that could simply be a testing error, but also might be an indication of a kind of inside the bones cancer. (Which while non-operable apparently isn't anywhere near as dangerous as the other kinds.) I would guess what will happen is the doctor will tell me to stop my blood pressure meds, but monitor it every day with the testing thing, and only take the meds if it gets bad. And then we'll probably re-re-re-retest for the results and hope all the things are in normal range again. Probably adjust meds from there. But I guess I won't find out until Monday afternoon.
So now I am basically ending my computer and online portion of my day more than an hour earlier than I expected, waiting where I will pick up a bit of special dinner. And then I have another hour to kill after that before my night hopefully gets back to homeless normal.
I suppose things weren't the worst. While waiting at the library there was a (probably 20s) girl I casually chatted with (we giggled at the people walking past the people waiting outside only to be shocked it was closed and apparently did not notice the 'sorry we are closed' sign on the door right in front of them.) It was nice. I don't ever really interact with anyone in person anymore these days, and haven't really since I had to stop TAing. The only people I come close to talking to (in person) are pretty much the librarians.
I did also feel creative and do a little art for my pen and paper stuff while I waited. So I guess that is something.
Day 6501 - 4/19 - Feeling not great
Today I am feeling not great. I've actually not felt great for a bit. I've been 'feeling' my kidneys, which I don't normally, in the past couple of days more and more and in the past couple of days my heart and the surrounding area as well. Near my heart it seems more like the congestion that has been building up with the sneezing that I've been doing for months, but still it's not normal for me when I can 'feel' things like my kidney and heart and areas around them. I guess indeed something may be going on with me at a deeper level than just the surface allergies. Maybe that would also explain the recent gluten issues I've been having (though those have become increasingly bad the past maybe two years to get the point of actually being an issue.) It's probably just bad side effects from the medicine and that's why they ordered me a blood pressure checker. I expect maybe the doc will say to stop using my meds, monitor things with the cuff thing, and in a couple of weeks we will retest all the things.
Sadly I don't feel very creative. Though I do have a little bit of art stuff for my pen and paper things I could work with, but I doubt I'd do more. In general I am extremely tired, maybe have a migraine, my bad eye still has the vision blocking whooshing thing, so I feel pretty off in general.
Day 6502 - 4/20 - Appointment Monday
Today I have my phone appointment with my doc. I'm glad she is finally giving me the attention I need. It's still super annoying I had to basically force my way to it, but I guess that's to be expected since this is free coverage because I'm poor. They likely don't have the doctor coverage to spend a lot of time or give a lot of attention to each patient.
Day 6503 - 4/21 - Maybe changed Tuesday
Today maybe I'll be doing things a bit differently for my health. This may be the first day of reduced blood pressure meds, or no meds, and starting to monitor blood pressure things while I'm off. Whatever changes are set up to happen, hopefully they lead to a better, or at least less health suffering, me.
