Week 911
Day 6371 - 12/10 - Brick tummy
Today my tummy feels like there is a brick in it. Sadly I really do think I need to give up on the idea of using my hot water heating bottle to 'cook' condensed soups and ramen. While ramen isn't the worst it's not great, and the effects can last hours. I did a condensed vegetable soup and either it just didn't cook right or tummy is having issues with the little letters and its gluten sensitivity. I ate 3 hours ago and it still feels like a small brick is in my tummy.
Other than that it was a pretty good day. I am making decent progress on my pen and paper stuff, though today was mostly very minor changes and some layout stuff. But progress is progress and it's important to keep going. Even better if I feel good about it. I still wonder if anyone really cares because I'm just me. It seems like the only things getting attention are teams of people asking for money on kickstarter to do their things.
Day 6372 - 12/11 - Just for me
Today I am feeling a bit sad. I feel pretty tired too. I would guess because it is winter and super cold and I always feel like I don't get as much sleep as I could due to being cold.
I did feel sad though. I checked numbers for December and I still show only one person paid $1 for all of the downloads of my stuff. And for the number of downloads, had it been payment required, I would have made $150 instead (before they take their cut of sales.) Maybe that is my fault for doing 'pay what you want' but it's likely I'd have no downloads if it weren't. But I still don't know if that means people are getting it and will look at it later, if they look it over and decide it's not for them, if they love it but don't have any money to pay now, or something else.
I feel like I am alone in a vacuum only doing things for me. Which really is how I would prefer to be. I don't want to feel forced or required to do a certain amount for someone else's profit.
But I still wonder; am I not appreciated? Do people not care about my stuff? Is there something wrong that makes it not worth supporting? I may never know. All I know is this feels the same as the rest of my life. I know a few do care. A few do like or love my stuff. But it seems basically the majority seems uninterested in supporting or acknowledging me.
Day 6373 - 12/12 - Mood flip
Today I had a mood flip. In the morning my brain was ready to go with pen and paper stuff, but by the time I got in to the library, settled, and had lunch, it didn't really feel like it. I did maybe just 1/2 hour, which sure is more than zero, but less than the 2 hours I'd like to do as a minimum per day.
I guess the day was ok other than that. I had food that didn't upset my tummy. I watched stuff. I barely got to play, but I got a free game which should be fun. So, overall I hung on ok.
Day 6374 - 12/13 - Too cold
Today was too cold. I was in the mood to do things, but not warm enough to really do them. So it was a forced day off, which I guess was ok. But I am sad thinking about how productive I could have been if I'd have been warm and comfortable enough. Hopefully someday I can get there.
Day 6375 - 12/14 - Bad vision day
Today vision wasn't great. The day started with a migraine, so that was about an hour for the blind spot to get through my eyes. And now it's just a blurry vision day. Hopefully it won't interrupt my pen and paper hobby stuff I want to try and do later, but sadly it may prevent my being creative.
Tummy doesn't feel great since I had lunch. Hopefully Thursday my appointment will reveal something and we can move towards feeling better, but I don't really know if there will be anything I can do. I guess if it is celiac disease that's a permanent thing and all you can do is just try to adjust diet and hope for the best. I may have an upset tummy pretty much all the time if it can't be helped. I guess the good news is it doesn't reduce lifespan, it just makes you super sensitive to gluten.
Day 6376 - 12/15 - Unknown day
Today I don't know what to expect. It may get super rainy. On Sunday it was super misty and seemed like rain. There is nothing I really expect or hope for the day.
Day 6377 - 12/16 - Another unknown Tuesday
Today I don't know what to expect. Hopefully it will be a regular and restful homeless day.
