PC talk system recommendations blog Facebook YouTube articles and guides links bio
rabb1t's ramblings podcast email
Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 14: Distant Memories

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.


Week 681

Day 4761 (V:485) - 7/14 - Tired

Today I am very tired. I have been for a few days now, along with being very congested and a bit sneezy. If it's a cold it hasn't really gotten worse, but it's not really going away. It's probably just allergies.

Thankfully the library is still pretty quiet. It doesn't really start to get busy until about noon, and even then it's not until about 2 that it starts to get 50-65% full in my area. For some reason people don't really sit at my table. I'd guess because of my laptop cooling fan. It's not super loud, but for a library it's not super quiet either. It might also not be because of me, but because my table is way at the end of the table row. I'm sure it's not because of an icky smell, because people don't get close enough to have smelled me. I am glad I don't seem to bother people with my typing on my keyboard. The squishy base one on the laptop is totally silent, but a literal pain to use compared to the mechanical one. It takes way more force to push the squishy keys. It seems not the best though because of the amount of desk space. It's a pretty tight fit. As always, all I can do is see what my limited options are and try and pick the best one for me.

I'm pretty exhausted today, but I had fun with my games and a show. And I tried my best to continue to hang on.

Day 4762 (V:486) - 7/15 - Don't know what to say

Today I don't really know what to say. I had an ok time with my games and show, which doesn't always happen with my sad feelings. My tummy was upset for a while because I ate lunch in the morning before going into the library. It is easier than trying to sneak lunch, and technically only about an hour earlier than normal. Though it's a weird thought to be 'having lunch' at 9:30.

I do feel a bit more relaxed, but also not. My back has been rather stiff lately, and I am still taking the tiniest of bites just in case. I'm less sneezy, but still just as sniffly and exhausted.

I guess today was pretty good, but it still seems like it is taking all my strength just to try and hang on lately.

Day 4763 (V:487) - 7/16 - Surprise inside

Today I got some unexpected inside time. I had a pretty good time at the library, though things got a little wobbly at the end of the day.

In the evening I got to be sheltered inside, which meant I could watch a couple of shows at good volume and have the screen unblocked for the best view. (Though the privacy screen doesn't really hurt the image too much, it does dull the colors and brightness a bit.) And I get to sleep in, which is rare.

So today turned into a surprise better day.

Day 4764 (V:488) - 7/17 - Inside again

Today I got to be inside again. I got to have fun with my games and a show. In the evening I got a cooked dinner, shower, and watched a movie.

Today was another good sheltered day, but when I wake up I'll be back to my regular homeless life.

Day 4765 (V:489) - 7/18 - Hot again

Today I was too hot in regular jeans. I guess in the few days I was inside it went from 75F back up to about 85F. And since the library is closed on Sundays, I was out in the heat all day. Now in the evening I'm getting a bit sweaty in my car, but there may be some hope as gray clouds and a slight breeze is starting now that we are in very early evening.

I guess I had a pretty good time with my games and shows. I didn't get a chance for anything fancy though, and I felt a bit lonely.

I guess for being back out to a regular homeless life I survived ok.

Day 4766 (V:490) - 7/19 - A bit closed throat

Today my throat is a bit closed again. I have to take the tiniest bites of food to be careful. Drinking seems normal though, so it's not the worst. My back is very stiff and pained too. Though only better food and reduced stress will help my throat. I may have to find a way to at least do minimal stretching for my back and legs. They have been very stiff and bad lately.

I guess I'm ok other than that, though I feel exhausted. I feel pretty sad and lonely, though I think it's more just heartbroken at the thought of things not getting better. Or if things do, that there will be permanent loss and reminder of these sad days. But all I can do is try to continue to hang on.

Day 4767 (V:491) - 7/20 - Library Tuesday

Today I expect will be just another regular inside the library most of the time Tuesday. I don't expect anything different, hopefully nothing bad, always hope for something good. But really it will probably just be yet another homeless day.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008-2021
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)
best viewed at 1280 wide resolution or higher