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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 14: Distant Memories

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 727

Day 5083 (V:807) - 6/1 - Very tired

Today I am very tired. I don't even really know what to say about the day. It feels like Friday with how tired I am and Monday throwing me off.

I haven't heard back from my dad about his wanting to help with a new laptop, but that isn't really surprising. I doubt he had any idea it would be so much. And with being retired and typically only sending 200-300 total in a year, most of which isn't in cash, even if he could put it all on credit or something I don't think he'd ever be able to pay it off. I think too I'll try to sell the dead laptop corpse this weekend if I continue to not hear from him. I wouldnt be completely opposed to resurrecting it, but at $700+ even that would be very out of his price range.

It's 'Intel gamer days' for, I think, about two more weeks, so there are contests going on. I think I've signed up for about four different laptop prize contests. The odds seem low of winning, but if I got the one system out of who knows how many tens of thousands that died then I suppose the odds are actually higher for winning one than that. So, you never know.

The day seems pretty warm, but with a cool breeze. It still seems much cooler than it normally would be at this time of year. I guess, in a way, that made it a bit easier to hang on.

Day 5084 (V:808) - 6/2 - A bit

Today was, I suppose, pretty good. There was a shower in the morning. I had a micro soup, and I feel a bit less sniffly and sneezy. Though I suppose I still feel pretty exhausted. I had fun playing my games, though I didn't do anything special. Dad sent word he sent a bit of money for whatever, which will be helpful. It's only enough for part of breaks, or part of car insurance, so it certainly helps, but a laptop still feels impossibly far off. And with the breaks being such a large unexpected bill I still expect that will dominate my money's attention for a while.

But I continue to try my best to hang on. And hopefully what little I have left can continue to hang on as well.

Day 5085 (V:809) - 6/3 - Warm to gray

Today the weather continues to be weird. What started as an almost normal summer warm has turned to a cold and windy gray. I don't get what is up with the weather this year. I guess it's a very good thing I didn't change to shorts like I considered doing this morning.

I had fun with my games today. I didn't do anything super special in my mmo, but in my shooter I did get a good group for the super hard thing I tried to do before. We did it pretty quickly in 1 hour, so the guys wanted to do it again, and while it did take a bit longer at 1.5 hours, those two runs together were still faster than the previous time I tried.

I guess I kind of forgot I wanted to start gathering stuff to sell the corpse, so maybe I'll do that in a few days. I will still be surprised if I can get the minimum amount I put it up for, because who would want a dead system, especially these days. But I guess we'll see eventually.

I guess I held on pretty well today. And I feel maybe a bit happier than usual, so that is something.

Day 5086 (V:810) - 6/4 - Very homesick

Today I guess I am feeling very homesick and depressed. My heart feels a bit bad lately too. I don't know if it's just blood pressure and stress, but the only way I could think to describe it is like right after you've done something strenuous and the endorphins are starting to wear off. Or maybe like when you get a big scare, or hear terrible news and get chills, and your 'heart sinks'.

I had fun with my games, but not as much as regular. I wanted to do more in my mmo, but I had the 'it feels like its being ruined' feelings, so I stopped earlier than I wanted to. I couldn't find a group for my shooter, so I just did basically daily things and then left. I played a bit of a different game, but my old laptop has to play it with the lowest textures and details, so it looks pretty terrible (but plays fine.)

I guess today I just felt very depressed, homesick, extra stressed, and heartbroken, so today felt very rough.

Day 5087 (V:811) - 6/5 - Sleepy

Today I am pretty sleepy. I have a little bit of a headache, but feel pretty ok compared to how I've been feeling lately. I had a good time in my mmo, though I just did basic daily stuff. I had a group for the very tough thing in my shooter, but I really don't know if it was worth the hour it took since I didn't get anything I wanted or needed. I wanted to watch a show, but the show I wanted to watch didn't have anything new listed.

There were no donations, and nothing special happened today, but I suppose it was a bit easier to hang on.

Day 5088 (V:812) - 6/6 - Slow start

Today feels pretty good, but it's a bit of a slow start. Though I guess that's not unexpected. I got a shower and micro and did my old shooter first so I could have the rest of the day for the new mmo content. But they extended maintenance, and extended it again, though it should be up pretty soon I hope.

I've been sneezing quite a bit today for some reason; maybe eight times in the past two hours. I'm not sure why. Maybe I should take an allergy and decongestant pill.

But hopefully my mmo will be up and playable soon, and hopefully I can hang on a bit easier.

Day 5089 (V:813) - 6/7 - Hopefully new stuff

Today will hopefully be new mmo stuff. I don't really know what to else to expect, but hopefully my laptop can hang on, the connection stays stable, and I can have a little bit easier day.

Week 728

Day 5090 (V:814) - 6/8 - Super hot

Today is super hot. It's weird because there is a cool breeze, but it feels hotter overall than the weather says it is. I'm sweating in my car with just a T-shirt and shorts on. I may have to consider dropping to a tank top if this keeps up. And, of course, in the library I was just a touch chilly with my two shirt layers on over my T-shirt.

I think I've got all the text ready for selling the laptop corpse. I'm still tempted to keep it and possibly RMA it, assuming the price continues to go down over time, but as more time passes it's worth vastly decreases. What I could get now for about 40% more than what they last asked would be better and newer hardware. And in another 6 months the rumored next generation CPUs will be out, bumping those currently double the RMA price down to the sub $1k range, being an even better deal.

But really it's a bad deal, even at half what they asked, as there are bills I don't have money for that selling it could at least partly pay for compared to getting old tech with barely any coverage. I guess we'll see how things turn out in time. Again, I don't even know if I can sell the corpse. There just may be no interest at all. I'll probably resurrect my account on the sale page or need to make a new one, and post in the next few days if I remember.

I had a pretty good time in my new expansion for my MMO. I think I am lucky in that this is one of the times 'I feel ok' with the limitations I have. Things don't seem likely to change anytime soon, and even just a new laptop feels impossible at this point in time. So I have what I have, or I don't do it at all.

Overall I guess I hung on a little easier today. And hopefully I can tomorrow too.

Day 5091 (V:815) - 6/9 - Heat spike, again

Today seems to be the start of another heat spike. It's now in the low 80s, and is supposed to be up to 95F tomorrow, which is crazy. And then, like last time, a 10F drop and nearly that much again the day after. It's almost like there is some crazy solar flare happening.

I guess today was pretty good. Things seemed very quiet and calm. Since school let out last week the library has been pretty empty. I guess parents that normally would be at the library are now having to stay home to take care of their kids since it's not the best idea to go out all the time like in the past? I'm not sure. I had fun in my mmo, and did the minimal dailies in my shooter since there isn't much to gain there currently.

I guess today I held on a little easier.

Day 5092 (V:816) - 6/10 - Long

Today felt like a very long day. I'd say it basically felt twice as long as normal. By 3 I was wondering if it was almost time to go. I'm not sure why it felt so long. It might in part be because I've lost a lot of sleep lately. I'm pretty exhausted.

I guess I had a good time in my game. I did just a little in my shooter, and spent a lot of time in my new mmo expansion. I did get some progress on an important goal in my mmo, so that was good.

It was super hot today. I think around 95F by midday. But it is starting to cool down pretty quickly.

I hung on a little easier today, but I'm still very exhausted. Hopefully I can continue to hang on until better days.

Day 5093 (V:817) - 6/11 - Pretty hot still

Today it was still pretty hot. It didn't come down as much as the weather predicted. It is certainly cooler, probably about 10F, but it's still pretty warm. I'm pretty exhausted. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night.

I guess I had a pretty good time in my games. I got more than the usual amount of job results for a Saturday, but as often happens they were things I wasn't qualified for, not in my area, or both. So that was disappointing, but that's not unusual.

I guess I forgot to post my dead laptop. I wanted to yesterday, but with how sad I feel about it still it's difficult to be motivated to do that. I mean, it's not going to be less dead, at this point that's obvious, but I think part of me knows that once it's up for sale it's not only a forced acceptance that I can't do anything to fix it, but it was a horrendous loss of money. And not only that, that money was my only real chance at a new laptop in years, and once it's posted, that's fully gone.

I guess I held on today, but it could have been better. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Day 5094 (V:818) - 6/12 - Hot to rain

Today the weather has been the weirdest yet. It started like a hot summer day like it has been recently, but by late morning there were gray clouds. And by early afternoon, and even now hours later, it's been sprinkling. We really never get hot days with rain on this coast, so this is super weird.

I guess I had a fun time with my games. I felt pretty lonely. Though I did to a fancy raid two or three times. I don't even remember now how many I did because I'm so exhausted.

There are always things about my day I would have preferred to be better, but I guess it wasn't too bad, and I made it through ok.

Day 5095 (V:819) - 6/13 - Warm, not hot

Today is warm, but not too hot. I'm very sleepy, but feel pretty clean on my person. I did a shower and did extra scrubbing because of the sweating recently. I wiped my cloths a bit to smell a bit better, but there is still a bit of stinkiness, which makes me sad.

Hopefully today can be clam and restful. I've lost a lot of sleep lately, and been off balance due to all the extra heat, but things hopefully are calming down a bit now.

Day 5096 (V:820) - 6/14 - Hopefully calm Tuesday

Today hopefully will be a calm day. I don't really know what to expect, but I hope to hear good news that I won one of the laptop giveaways I entered. I don't know when most of them close, I really don't keep track, but I will try to remain hopeful for about a month more to hear good news.

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