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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 14: Distant Memories

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 691

Day 4831 (V:555) - 9/22 - More insideish

Today I got some more insideish time. So I'm safe and totally isolated until sometime Friday before I have to go back to regular homeless life again.

Today was pretty good, but it got pretty hot. I was sweating a bit when I went outside and around in the early afternoon.

I'm trying to calm down from my scare of potentially doing jury duty during this terrible pandemic. It's strange to think it's not even been a week since I was released. I still remember going there twice. I still remember the panic I felt while there, even though they were supposedly being careful and protected.

I have a show to catch up on, some movies, and a good connection to do my games and other things. So I'm trying to relax as best as I can. Trying to recover from the extra stress. Trying to maybe fight a cold? I was sneezing a ton yesterday and dont feel super great today. But hopefully I can hang on just a little bit easier for a few days.

Day 4832 (V:556) - 9/23 - Cut short

Today I got news my insideish time will be cut short and I'll be back out tonight instead of tomorrow night. I guess it's ok. I don't really have any big or important plans. My days are just going normally. The only big or new plans are after my new MMO comes out on Tuesday.

I guess today was pretty good. I am super sneezy again lately. But I wasn't before I visited inside and got a shower. Since I was petting a kitty for a bit it seems more likely it's allergies than a cold. But I have been sleeping quite a bit. Oh, I did sleep like 10-11 hours last night, which is crazy. That might indicate a cold or recovery from the recent stress as well.

I guess today I hung on just a little bit easier, but tomorrow will be back to homeless normal.

Day 4833 (V:557) - 9/24 - Upset system

Today my system is a bit upset. I would bet because my meat for today was bought 3 days ago. Even in the best of times most at room temperature meats don't do great for that long. It pretty much has to be winter to last that long. I am not super sick feeling or anything, but it's quickly running through me.

I guess I'm ok other than that today. It was a regular homeless day pretty much. So it wasn't terrible, and about as good as could be expected. I am very distracted looking forward to my new MMO next week, so that helped to pass a bit quicker than normal.

I guess today I held on ok, but I did feel sad and miss some things that I don't have.

Day 4834 (V:558) - 9/25 - Theorycrafting

Today was just a touch chilly to looking like winter and gray and rainy looking. It's early evening and it looks about two hours later than it normally would at this time.

One sad thing did happen today. I very gently bumped my usb dongle for my wireless headphones and the sound went out. It seems at this point it's gotten so old and fussy that it needs to be at a pretty specific angle in the usb spot. It seemed ok after I wedged a paper towel to hold it in place at that angle, but it is disappointing because a new one is $30. I do have my old wired headphones, which are actually still my favorite of like 6 I've used, so I can use those if it fully fails. But it is disappointing that the replacement item is so expensive. That's 40% of brand new wired headphones, or 25% of brand new wireless ones which would have more than double the battery life and better sound than my current ones.

I was pretty distracted with theorycrafting things for the new MMO. I suppose it's pretty pointless to try to plan builds around 'perfect gear' for a couple of reasons. First, I don't know if I'd ever hit perfect gear levels. Next, I have heard the drop rates are really low for the very high end stuff. And lastly I may not even need it. Yes, the stats are based on getting good perks for x level, but I don't know if I really 'need' max level in things. If the gear I get puts me down a perk level, but up in another, and that works ok, maybe that would be better. With randomized gear that can sometimes happen. I shouldn't get too crazy, and just wait and see what I get along the way.

So today my brain was pretty distracted. I guess in a good way since I also felt a bit sad and only played about half the day. The rest I didn't really feel like playing much.

But I guess I hung on ok. I guess winter is coming. And hopefully I can hang on until better days.

Day 4835 (V:559) - 9/26 - Quiet gray

Today it has been pretty quiet. I think only two people passed by me. I saw a couple of others around the corner, but that was it.

The sky is between blue and gray. It's pretty cold, showing just 70F. I've had all my layers on and even had my hood up, and am considering if I should put on my winter under pants layer tomorrow. I've been kind of clenching my jaw from cold all day.

I guess it's been an ok day. Earlier I was sneezing like crazy, so I took one of my last decongestants and an allergy pill. I've stopped sneezing, at least for the moment, but still feel like I might start again. I had some fun with my games, but again didn't feel like playing as much as I could. I guess I just feel a bit sad and don't really feel like playing much. Maybe I'm super tired. My new MMO comes out Tuesday morning, so I expect I'll be playing that a lot.

I guess I hung on ok today. But I'm pretty sneezy and tired, so I may still have a cold.

Day 4836 (V:560) - 9/27 - Feeling calm

Today I guess, besides having a big headache, I've been feeling pretty calm. I think that is mostly because it's a regular low population day at the library, only 1 per table, whereas Saturday it got pretty crowded and started not feeling very safe at 2-3 per table.

Part of it too might be that I downloaded my new MMO client, so that is all ready and set up for tomorrow. So that is super exciting. Also, my phone said it wanted to get the update, so I was a bit nervous about that as it's the same update that had massive problems on my tablet, but that seems to have gone just fine, and it was super quick.

I'm pretty exhausted. I'm super headachy, even behind my eyes hurts a lot, so I guess that's a migraine. I've only sneezed a couple of times. But I guess, overall, I feel pretty ok.

Day 4837 (V:561) - 9/28 - Much excite

Today should be the first day for the new MMO. Hopefully everything will work out ok, and hopefully there will be a minimum of shut downs for emergency things. Most MMO launches aren't the greatest. But being on the west coast my server group will be the last of four, with hours between each area. So hopefully by the time they get to my group any issues will be sorted out.

That will be all that's new. Hopefully it will be fun, nice, and it will be a little bit easier to hang on until better days.

Week 692

Day 4838 (V:562) - 9/29 - No fries today

Today I am feeling pretty sick. There were just a few sneezes, but I feel pretty headachy, exhausted, kind of like I have a fever though I don't feel warm, kind of like I'm chilled, my ears are ringing, and I'm extra hungry.

I looked the other day to see if I could get hot food with my card and it seems some places do let you. The close place sells chicken and fries, and the regular fries is priced ok, but the large is pretty pricy, and their chicken is ridiculously priced. I mean, it's ok for restaurant prices, but it's like 2-3 times the cost for the same amount I could get cold at the food store. I wanted to get fries, but their machine didn't work. I'm sad the close sandwich place closed, because they take my card and they would have had hot soups. But with the local one closed there isn't one close to me anymore.

I guess other than that I'm pretty ok. I'm trying to have fun in my new MMO, but launch has been a bit stressful. Yesterday, because of how I change locations, of the 12 hours I could have played I lost 8 hours sitting in a queue not playing, and only 4 hours after that playing. Today so far hasn't been too bad, with about 30 minutes then 1 hour played, and after my move about a 2 hour queue with 5 hours played after. I get another chance to play in a bit, but I don't know. It will depend how long the queue is because it's a pretty short window.

I guess besides feeling sick and extra hunger I feel ok today. And maybe I can try and get some extra rest tonight and I can hang on a bit easier tomorrow.

Day 4839 (V:563) - 9/30 - Headphone comparison

Today I have settled on my headphone decision. In the past couple of days I've gone back and forth between my old wired ones, which have a bit better sound, and my newer ones with the fussy breaking connection. I actually do like the newer ones better overall. Yes, it doesn't have as quite as good of sound, but in doing a lot of research it seems that better sound is only possible with wired connections. Also, the comfort of the newer ones is a lot better in general because the ear cuffs rotate. My old ones can't do that. They are rigid and only extend up or down, not to the side at all. This can be a hugely important point as my ears kind of prefer them at just a slightly rotated angle. Also, I can put them at a 90 degree angle over the top half of my ears to hear what's around me and that works fine. I can't do that with the old ones. Or if I put them down around my neck they rotate against my chest fine. My old ones just kind of clamp together and choke my throat when around my neck.

Also in doing a lot of research the majority of headphones seem to have that stiff non-rotating style. And the wireless ones have an average charge of closer to 15-20 hours than not, which is about the same as my newer pair. So getting new ones, regardless of cost, really wouldn't be worth an upgrade with the current available sound technology and design. So I'm fine with sticking with my current newer pair. I just hope that the fussy part that talks to the headphones doesn't get worse or I'll have no choice. At this point it disconnects with literally the slightest breeze or gentlest touch of my sleeve, so hopefully it will last until I get the spare $30 to get the replacement part.

I am a bit more sad than usual. I checked my money and I effectively have nothing for the web space bill that's due in mid December. I'll have to pray and save any money that comes for Halloween or Thanksgiving, or any early Xmas gifts, or I won't be able to pay it.

I still feel pretty sick. I am still sneezing a bit, still feel feverish inside (but don't feel warm) and am still extra hungry and sensitive to stimulus overall.

But I guess today went ok. And I hung on as best as I could.

Day 4840 (V:564) - 10/1 - Exhausted

Today I am exhausted. I got 'in bed' pretty late, then couldn't sleep for a few hours, then basically woke up more than an hour before I needed to. I probably only got 5 hours of sleep total.

I'm feeling a bit better from the cold. I don't feel quite as bad and my appetite is returning to normal. I'm actually super hungry and I wish I could eat restaurant cooked foods.

There was hardly anyone in the library today, so it was very calm feeling, quiet, and everyone was spread out. And I had a lot of fun in my new game. I'm starting to see new things and get past the previous areas I'd been in the tests.

I guess I'm a bit better today, though still have a cold, am still exhausted, and am still pretty hungry.

Day 4841 (V:565) - 10/2 - Tired eyes

Today my eyes are very tired. They have been slow to focus and half closed all day. I guess really I'm just super tired overall. I feel like I could sleep an extra 4 hours if I got the chance.

Overall I'm starving too. I think maybe because my body is still fighting the cold, so it wants extra food. I really want to get some chicken soup, but I'd have to use cash for that, which I don't have, or what little is on a food store gift card I'd rather save for emergencies.

I guess overall the day was pretty ok though, so I try to continue to hang on.

Day 4842 (V:566) - 10/3 - Not very hungry

Today I'm not very hungry. I guess I ate a regular sized lunch, and I'm hungry for dinner. But I feel like I may only eat half my normal amount or less. My eyes hurt a lot too, and everything is blurry. I don't know if that is because I've had a migraine most of the day or if it's because of this cold.

I had a pretty fun time in my new MMO, but I can see myself backing off to pretty casual play the higher I get. It's not like a regular MMO, at least not yet, in that the server populations are tiny, and people don't really interact since there is a big PvP focus. I am just now, at about 50 hours played, starting to see new things that I hadn't seen before during the beta week that I played. Leveling has gotten pretty slow. I think I got two levels all day. So I don't know if that's because I played a bit more casual today, or if things just start to get really slow once you reach mid-levels.

Besides still feeling sick I guess I hung on ok today. Though if these sick feelings continue much longer I may have to use some of my food store gift card money to get some hot soups to help me get better.

Day 4843 (V:567) - 10/4 - Chilly, maybe slightly better

Today I'm super chilly in the library, and I'm eating... carefully. I feel maybe a bit better. I am having a super fun time playing and watching the stream I watch, so the time has passed quickly. I am getting very worried about my headphone issue though. Today it's cut out several times and the connection is getting very fussy. I may not be able to use them much longer and be forced to use my old pair until the part is replaced. But overall I guess today I hung on a little bit easier.

Day 4844 (V:568) - 10/5 - Probably chilly Tuesday

Today it is supposed to start getting cold. I'll probably start wearing pants with a winter layer to help stay warmer. The library is still blasting the A.C. so it's cold in there regardless. But hopefully today will be ok. I can try to relax. And hopefully I can continue to hang on.

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