Week 843
Day 5895 - 8/21 - Odd count
Today I feel old. I'm not sure why. It may be because I'm officially old now, but I've been thinking I was 55 for most of the last year, so my brain had already been thinking I was officially old for nearly a year.
I guess it was a pretty good day. Things were calm and quiet. Though I am extremely tired.
Day 5896 - 8/22 - Back pain returns
Today pretty early on my back pain returned. My middle and lower back have been pretty reluctant to move at all. When I've gotten up to pee it has taken about 15-30 seconds to stand fully straight and be able to take steps towards the bathroom. I really don't know what is causing it, but I hope it stops.
Day 5897 - 8/23 - Sprinkles
Today was pretty ok. There was some pretty bad back pain still, but it wasn't as bad as yesterday. And when I would get up it would only take 5-10 seconds of pain to start moving.
I was pretty sniffly and sneezy today too. Maybe a tiny bit feverish. And it sprinkled just a little bit. It seems strange to be raining this early. But overall it was a pretty good day.
Day 5898 - 8/24 - Stiff, but good
Today my back is still a bit sore. Moving has ranged from almost normal to a bit of complaint after getting up, but calming down after 5-10 seconds. Hopefully at the rate it is going in maybe two days it will be back to normal.
I have been doing something lately that has made me a bit happy. For a while there have been thoughts of a setting for a pen and paper game floating in my head. Ideas about how to change characters, new features, and some spooky Halloween time fun, so I've been working on that, stories, and things that go with it. Yesterday and today I worked on a bit of art for it. I don't know if anything will care to play with the stuff, and it's still got quite a ways to go (though I'm targeting it being 'ready' by early to mid October), but hopefully a few people will have some fun if I do put it out there. It's for a game that isn't actually released yet, so it may not get much attention, or since there isn't any material out for the game yet it may actually get a lot of attention. Either way, for the moment at least, my brain is happy distracted by it and having a good time. Which these days is very rare.
Day 5899 - 8/25 - Less than 4 hours
Today I am running on less than 4 hours of sleep. I'm pretty exhausted. I am so tired I even almost left my chicken at the store. Apparently I left it in the cart, and luckily I discovered I'd forgotten it only about two blocks from the store, so it was pretty easy to go back.
My back feels a bit better, but now dealing with an unknown exhaustion from lack of sleep things may get worse again.
Day 5900 - 8/26 - Hopefully recovering Monday
Today hopefully I get good sleep and am recovering from losing so much sleep Saturday night. I don't really know what to expect, as it should be a normal day.
Day 5901 - 8/27 - Ankle appointment
Today I don't know what to expect other than I finally have my ankle appointment. I really hope there is a reason for me to go and it's not something the doctor could have just messaged me three weeks ago. Either way, the day is finally here and I will know what, if anything, can be done to help my ankle.
Week 844
Day 5902 - 8/28 - Seeing a bit better
Today I am seeing a bit better, and yesterday too. I wonder if it is stress related, and the news about my ankle has reduced that some. I still don't see great, certainly not as sharp and clear as when I was younger, and focus still shifts between everything is slightly to fully blurry. But more times in the day I will look up, or go to the bathroom, and things aren't always the worst.
I guess today was pretty ok other than that. The wireless was back up and mostly ok. It dropped yesterday around 1 and never came back up before I left. It still disconnects me a few times a day though. It haven't been playing my old shooter often lately and I was today and after probably more than an hour working on a special mission it disconnected me and all that progress was lost, so that was pretty upsetting. But it was a pretty regular day other than that.
Edit: My ankle appointment went pretty much as expected. He confirmed that this was damage done by my having flat feet, and while I maybe could have slowed it a bit more by wearing inserts all these years, it is basically not preventable. He said he's also seen far worse, and since I have no pain or real restriction of movement it's not really bad. When I asked if he thought maybe it could have been accelerated by a break or sever damage he said he saw no evidence of any previous breaks or bad damage, and did agree with my thought that if it had been it would have been a far more immediate reaction. So, as expected, inevitable, unpreventable, and not realistically treatable, but inserts would help.
Day 5903 - 8/29 - New
Today was pretty good. There was some new and different stuff going on, so the time passed very quickly. My tummy was a bit upset at the foods that I got, but sadly that seems to be happening more and more often. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Day 5904 - 8/30 - Return of the A-hole
Today certainly started out different. At about 20 minutes before the library opened I heard, "Is this ok?" from over near my backpack. I looked over and see it's the A-hole from the past weeks. I respond with something like, 'Yeah, that's my stuff there so just give it some room.' He continues, "You got really upset last time." And I responded with something like, 'Yeah because that's where I am in like and you cut in front and stood on top of my stuff.' He explained that in 'his original country if you aren't in line it doesn't matter what you put there, you aren't in line.' I acknowledge that and say, 'Well, thanks for explaining that, that explains what you did. But here in America stuff like that,' pointing at my stuff, 'implies that's a person in line.' And he cut me off before I could continue saying, 'Oh so you are a ___.' And I said I didn't know what that means, and he explained, very sarcastic sounding, that it meant I'm a person from the U.S. who thinks foreigners should all be kicked out, and follows that up with, 'Sorry, but I'm a U.S. citizen.' So you have a super thick accent, are referring to standards from somewhere not the U.S., ignoring the social norms I just explained that you broke, and claim that I'm some kind of racist?
This view continued for a few more lines in different ways. I explained that my great grandpa on one side is German, and he again interrupted me mid-explanation by asking if I spoke German in German and I responded, 'Just a little bit.' And he again responded using things I didn't know, so I again asked him what that meant, and again he said sarcastically sounding that it was a 'term for someone who doesn't really know a language at all.' And at that point I gave up on this guy. Every single thing I was trying to say or explain he would interrupt and indirectly accuse me of being a racist. So it's clear this guy, no matter who a person is, is claiming to be a citizen, that people can't kick him out, but "sorry for you, I can't be deported." Clearly this guy is the racist and automatically thinks everyone else is.
He's right in that he doesn't go to my area of the library and so "it's not worth it." But when the library opened he pushed past an older lady who is a regular on his way in and didn't even acknowledge her or that he pushed her to the side. This guy clearly isn't going to do well with how he acts. Thankfully I only have to deal with him once a week or less.
Other than the rough start with the A-hole my day was pretty good. My special hobby thing I have been working on started to get some positive attention. And it seems pretty good and is balancing ok, so I'll likely continue it. I am a bit sad though as I only have 25 year old software to try and work with it. Looking around today there is actually a competitor to the super big fancy subscription software. That one is as single purchase of around $75 and that would make my thing look super nice and professional. And I could do other graphic design work with it in the future. But honestly I'm not finding work, so that would be a pretty huge cost on no income for, 'I can make fun personal things that look professional.'
As always all I can do is try my best to be happy. And try my best to be restful and as healthy as I can with what I have.
Day 5905 - 8/31 - Six months free
Today I don't feel so great. I don't know if it's an issue with the food store deli food being bad, or some kind of cold someone gave me at the library. I guess my tummy and digestive system feel not great, my lungs feel a touch dry and irritated, kind of like someone has been smoking near me, and my throat feels a bit congested. Other than that I guess the day in general was ok.
At the end of my library time I got a big surprise. I was watching a video about the software that I mentioned and the person in the video mentioned a sale. I said, 'Hum. I didn't look for a sale link when I was at the site. I just went to the purchase page.' And there is no sale now, but their usual 2 week free trial is currently 6 months, and even if you did a free trial before you can use this. I guess they are trying to market the newest version, so I immediately grabbed that deal. I won't have to worry about paying for it if I like it for quite a while. So I'm looking forward to seeing if it does what I want. It would be a way to update my design software to something more recent than 25 years ago, and something that doesn't crash all the time.
Day 5906 - 9/1 - New program
Today my brain did a lot of work with the fun hobby thing I've been working on. I played with the free trial software for an hour or so. I'd forgotten how completely time consuming graphic design can be to set up files. But it definitely looks like the software does everything I hope and expect it to. Though there are a couple of differences I'll have to get used to, it should be pretty easy to adopt. And then I'll have access to design software of a type I've not been able to use outside of school subscriptions in the past maybe 15 years. The version of software that I have which is similar is about 25 years old, and about 10-15 years ago it started pretty much crashing so often it wasn't worth trying to use anymore, so I don't even install it anymore.
I'd love to buy this new software, but I'm still going to give it a couple of weeks of trying it out to be sure. And then when I am sure I have to be sure I have 'enough' for contacts and as much car insurance as I can pay up front all at once. The free trial will run out in late February, so hopefully that means if I get a bit extra around Xmas that should cover it. Plenty of time.
Overall the day was pretty good, though every 30 or so minutes I've been sneezing.
Day 5907 - 9/2 - Outside day
Today I expect very little. I will likely get only about 4 hours online and then the rest of the time I'll just be in my car probably reading some rules for the hobby thing that I need to become familiar with. On holidays like this my options become very limited.
Day 5908 - 9/3 - Hopefully regular Tuesday
Today will hopefully be a pretty regular Tuesday. Though my brain may be obsessed with my hobby project, which would make it different. Hopefully when I finish it people enjoy it and it looks awesome. If it does, I could totally use it for a portfolio piece for job hunting.
