Week 879
Day 6147 - 4/30 - Fast day
Today was a fast day. I did just a teeny bit with my pen and paper stuff, which I really need to get going on since I only have about 15 more days to mess with it before it should be ready for final release changes. But a big update came out for one of my most favorite games ever, so I spent most of my fun time doing that. I guess I forgot how tough it was when you are super low level. I was dying a lot, heh.
Day 6148 - 5/1 - So very tired
Today I am so very tired. I could barely think at all. For some reason my body woke up an hour earlier than my alarm, which is very sad. But in theory it should have been enough as I'd gotten nearly 7 hours of sleep until that part. During hotter days getting 7 hours of sleep is pretty common for me. Though for some reasons it's still barely getting into the 70s during the day and in the low 60s at night.
Other than being so very tired, I guess I had a pretty good day.
Day 6149 - 5/2 - Not the best
Today was pretty good in that I got to rest and have fun with a big game update. It wasn't a great day for eating though. I guess due to congestion it's a bad G.E.R.D.S. day and while I was having dinner I felt like I was choking on the inside. I had to stop eating. Thankfully I only coughed up a little bit.
I also didn't do my pen and paper stuff. It's really just stuff for my third thing, which I don't think will be ready for launch since that is now only 18 days away from release. I guess we'll see, but there are some things I can push to do (sacrifice play or TV time) and some things I can't speed up at all. We'll see. It's not like I'm being paid for it, so I won't kill myself to get it done before launch. But it's completion is totally controllable by me. I will be putting it on a site that I can receive donations for, so people can get it free, then they can pay what they want later if they feel it's worth supporting, so we'll see. If the stuff is very well loved I may see some money for it. (I think you can set things to require pay, but doing these things 100% myself my art isn't great, and there isn't the best layout design because of that, so my stuff is a ways off from professional pay required work.)
I'm still pretty exhausted too, so that doesn't help. But overall the day was pretty good. It certainly could have been worse.
Day 6150 - 5/3 - Tired, so much water
Today I'm pretty tired. I've been losing sleep again lately> I'm also drinking a ton of water today. I don't know why, but it's been probably 4x as much as I normally drink. I guess that's good, especially since I didn't go to the car and get more soda instead, but it seems very unusual.
I didn't do my pen and paper gaming stuff today. My brain kind of thought about some stuff, but overall was just too tired and burnt out to do anything. I expect I'll do another break tomorrow too, then start a big push next week. Depending on how that goes I may do a big push the week after, or I may just accept the 3rd thing won't make release. Which I'm sure will be totally fine to be a week or month later. Then, we'll see. Will people enjoy my stuff I've spent all this time and effort on? Is it amazing? Is it unbalanced garbage that can't be salvaged? Is it good enough, but something better or more popular will be out and it just falls into obscurity? Only time will tell.
Day 6151 - 5/4 - Ankle bothering me
Today and I guess for the past week my ankle has been hurting a bit. It's strange to think about how to relieve that though. It's not hurting a lot. It's not intolerable. But I wonder if this insert I spent like $60 for is doing anything at this point. This is about the level it was at which first prompted me to get it looked at. Sadly it just may be a thing getting worse as I age and can't relieve it.
Day 6152 - 5/5 - Maybe hobby
Today maybe my brain will be ready to do pen and paper hobby stuff again. It's been getting thoughts and direction on what to do next, so hopefully now it will be ready again. It's weird to think that I need to allocate time for it. And it's nice to have a thing to focus on to share soon with others. But it will certainly be strange to be done in a few weeks. And it will feel stranger if it gets no love and I don't ever update or continue doing it.
Day 6153 - 5/6 - Maybe hobby Tuesday
Today maybe I'll do some more hobby stuff. I don't really know. So much of my weeks are all the same. And still so much of it depends on how I feel, or how I slept, or if what I got for food is upsetting me. So much is out of my control, and it being out of my control further increases the stress and uncertainty.
Week 880
Day 6154 - 5/7 - Not the right mood
Today I am super tired. I again lost sleep and woke up early at only about 6 hours of sleep. I wanted to do some stuff for my pen and paper game, but only did a small bit. I just wasn't in the right mood to do the super creative stuff I have left. At this point I don't know if the third thing will be ready before the game launches on the 20th. I have less than two weeks and it needs a fair bit of lore, then some enemy stat blocks, then at least a couple of bigger nicer pieces of art. I would guess it probably needs more like a month. And that is fine. Like I said before I'm on no one's time table but my own. I did do some more final tweaks on the two I have ready. And I spent time playing a fun game. So I suppose overall it wasn't a bad day, just a very very tired and sleepy one.
Day 6155 - 5/8 - Still very tired
Today I am still very tired. My brain can't really think creatively or recall much today. It's fine though. I can take a break now and then. So even though I was sad not moving forward today, I did receive some nice compliments on a social app, and I did have fun with my games. Though I did feel a bit sad at how tired I was, and how my brain felt like being social (in person) yet I have no one to talk to, and so I didn't really say anything all day.
Day 6156 - 5/9 - Super exhausted
Today I am super exhausted. I feel like if I close my eyes I will fall right over and be instantly asleep. I got reasonable sleep last night, so I don't really know why I feel so exhausted. I have been peeing like four times as much for no reason (I'm not drinking more, in fact I'm probably drinking less.) So maybe I'm sick?
Needless to say any pen and paper hobby work I wanted to do just couldn't be done. I had zero ability to focus on anything, let alone to create stuff. Hopefully I can do a bit of drawing before I lose the light. The pieces I want to do are characters, which I'm not very good with, so it will be a challenge. I'm far better at not realistic things that don't involve anatomy.
Day 6157 - 5/10 - Feel good
Today I'm feeling pretty good. I am still super exhausted and feel like I might fall over asleep at any second, but I at least had some creative focus. Last night I started a super good bigger art piece for my pen and paper hobby. I have to finish inking it and then spend time drawing and coloring it. I also had good focus today to do a big reformat of a section based on some pages they released for the final version of the game book. So I reformatted that bit to more closely match their layout and design. That took 2 hours, so yikes. That may mean I have about 8 more hours of doing that if it takes the same amount to reformat the rest. Hopefully I can drop that down to half or less now that I've done it once.
But I still had time to play for a couple of hours and watch a show, so overall I feel pretty good and had a good day so far.
Day 6158 - 5/11 - Good but tired
Today I feel good, but pretty tired. It's barely lunch time but hopefully I have tome to at least get a start on more big changes to formatting my hobby stuff. But it feels like today will be pretty good.
Day 6159 - 5/12 - Final week left
Today is the start of the last week before the pen and paper game launches and my stuff has to be as ready as it can be. I'll only be doing the two, as the third won't be likely to make it, but that's ok. Just getting them out is the most important thing. Then it will be up to players to say if they like it or not, and what changes or improvements they would like to see. Or not, and it falls to obscurity and I don't need to worry about it. In a week two of my three things will effectively be out of my hands and in the hands of people who hopefully have a good time with it. Though it may be months before people look for it.
Day 6160 - 5/13 - Unknown Tuesday
Today I don't know what I'll be doing. I probably will still have some art to do stuff with my pen and paper stuff, but other than that I don't know what to expect.
