Week 861
Day 6021 - 12/25 - Not the expected day
Today has not been the day I expected. I thought I'd spend my first few hours at the fancy food store, where I'd maybe get to be online with my laptop. Turns out that it was completely closed, which seems odd. I'll have to check if it's closed New Years as well.
I actually did a lot for my pen and paper hobby stuff I'm working on. Maybe not what I 'needed' to do, as I'd really like to finish the first one and effectively 'close it out' and declare it ready since it's so close to being done. But I guess it's fine, since I have to finish both by the time the system they are based on releases. So it probably really doesn't matter what the exact order of my doing that is.
I am supposed to stop by somewhere to get dinner foods, but I haven't heard from the person yet. So I don't know if that includes inside time or not, and if so, when. It is already later than I expected to hear from them, so it seems odd.
But now it's mid afternoon, and I guess the day is mostly over for me, and it wasn't as bad as it certainly could have been.
Day 6022 - 12/26 - No shower day
Today, as expected, the showers were locked up at ex-school. So tomorrow I'll have to get a free gym pass and go do it there. It wouldn't really be a big deal to skip it and just wipe off and do minimal shaving, but it's just easier to get a regular shower if I can.
The rest of the day was pretty regular. I created some stuff during the closed time yesterday that will keep my pen and paper hobby thing busy for a few days, so that is good. More steps closer to having them ready.
My tummy has been pretty bad feeling lately. It's not really upset, but there is a really extreme amount of fluid yuck hanging out sort of behind and below my heart. Decongestants seem to have no effect. I have to be extremely careful lately because at three different times lately it's caused me to choke and cough up yuck. The food itself winds up being maybe only 5% of what I choke up. (Which I guess is good in that what is already in the stomach stays there.) The rest is gross yuck that looks like sneeze stuff. Just sticky yuck congestion I guess. I may try to just warm up some water to drink, but I don't think that will make much difference.
I guess all in all it was a decent day.
Day 6023 - 12/27 - Maybe with a bowl
Today I did another ramen and soup experiment. It's probably been weeks since I last had them. I recently thought maybe it's because I don't use the hottest water sometimes, or because it's a free reusable plastic container and it is partly melting the plastic into the food. So I got a $3 dishwasher safe hard plastic bowl today that should take the hottest water just fine. I was thinking ceramic may hold heat better and kind of cook the food more, but those were all around $10 and incredibly heavy for the size. My backpack is already overly heavy as it is.
The ramen seemed fine in my tummy. The condensed soup didn't seem as great, but it was I suppose tolerable. My throat area feels less congested too. I don't know if that is due to the hot food or just maybe less affected by my cold.
The three day gym trial pass was apparently a lie. The guy at the counter said because it's the holidays and there are a lot of special offers they don't allow the free pass. And also they don't allow them because then people 'get free workouts'. Yes, because your nationwide chain business would no doubt crumble from all the free passes people use with their once a year(?) per person limit.
I did come up with an ok idea though. The place was about 2/3 of the way to my health center. It's typically very empty, and I've never seen any kind of wait for the private bathrooms. So I just went there and shaved my face, head, and critical parts, and that should be good until ex-school is open again after the break.
I guess today was pretty ok overall, but due to the detours it passed very quickly.
Day 6024 - 12/28 - Migraine
Today was pretty good. I still have a bunch of stuff ready for my pen and paper stuff I'm working on, so for the next two days I'll probably have enough to do with that, which should be fine because then we will be at New Years where I expect I'll have extra time to work on more new stuff to add.
The day overall went pretty quickly, though for about a week now in the library in the afternoon it smells like an ashtray near me. I mentioned it to the librarian and they said the circulation system has been messed up since October. I guess that might be it because it is only a small area in the stacks, so if it were a person it would have a trail, not a nebulous space. And the space slowly moved about 6 feet over the course of 4 hours. Near the end it was close enough to me that it started to give me a migraine.
Other than that the day was pretty normal and moved pretty quickly.
Day 6025 - 12/29 - Busy
Today has been pretty busy. It was just coloring stuff for my pen and paper hobby stuff, but it took nearly 3 hours, which is a pretty big portion of my online time during winter. I have to type this, which hopefully won't be too long, but after that I may or may not have any time left to play before it's 'dinner' and watching a show time before I leave for the night.
My food for the day hasn't been great in my tummy, so hopefully dinner will be ok. It was on sale wings, but it claimed it had a packing date of only two days ago. Though technically that could be a re-packing date and shoppers wouldn't know. Other than that things have been quiet and calm, so that is good. Though I'm still very congested and sneezy.
Day 6026 - 12/30 - Doubtful shower
Today I'll check if I can get a shower at ex-school, but anything before a week from now seems extremely unlikely. I will check later in the week, as there is a small chance they are open and setting up before next quarter, but it seems doubtful. Hopefully today will be a calm and quiet library day.
Day 6027 - 12/31 - Unknown Eve
Today I really don't know what to expect, especially as it becomes night. But the library is open until basically my normal winter leaving time, so it should be a pretty regular day.
Week 862
Day 6028 - 1/1/2025 - About the best
Today was about the best I could have hoped for an outside day. I started with doing laundry, which was very overdue. (Though I don't think I was stinky enough that others would notice.) Then I spent a little less than 2 hours at the fancy food store doing some online playing. And when I was in my car I did enough drawing to keep me busy coloring for two or three days. And half of them were very good for me, and the others are good. Usually they are half meh or pretty bad, so this batch is better than usual. It wasn't too cold either, so I was never really more than just a touch chilly.
Hopefully tomorrow though I can sneak into a shower again (like Monday) and then have a good day at the library.
Day 6029 - 1/2 - Maybe eye pain
Today I've maybe had some eye pain. I've been seemingly very sensitive to light, more than usual. It's had me on the verge of headaches all day.
Really no other news for today. I spent the day doing art for my hobby stuff. Over the closed forced outside time yesterday I made enough I should be covered for stuff to do for the next two days, maybe more.
It was a pretty regular day at the library overall though.
Day 6030 - 1/3 - Hair
Today my brain has been thinking a lot about what a kid said about my hair on Monday. It's been stuck in my head because it was so weird, which more than likely was because this kid was... different... than anything about me. He was probably I'd guess somewhere between 16-18. He was seemingly very politely asking if he could take pictures and reference video of my hair so he could make his like mine. Which on its own sounds completely crazy, but with a full head of curly hair seems mindboggling. When he would ask a question about it he also, politely, interrupted my answers with things like, 'it's so unique,' and, 'I've never seen anything like it.' Well, sure, in probably his entire life I've probably only seen two others with a Mohawk or swoop type hair since both styles are long since out of fashion around here.
I'm sure he wasn't really genuine, but the fact that he was politely asking instead of just literally filming me behind my back (without permission) seems more odd. And the two teens who'd been sitting back behind me for hours seemed to not be paying attention at all, implying they hadn't seen this guy doing any filming. Of course he could have done that, then walked around the stacks to approach in front of me, and been running a 'response video' while we chatted, just to throw me off. But this was right as I was packing up to leave, and peeking back over my shoulder as I left he didn't appear to be getting footage.
I really think his attitude was more on him and for whatever reason he was genuine and not trying to make fun of me. So, I'm letting that go and moving on from that part of the encounter, since I may never know if that is true. But mentioning that it is unique and different has stuck with me. I think that is why I'm having such a hard time letting go of what is left of the hair. At this point it is little more than a small triangle at the very back, since the top is, I'm guessing, somewhere close to 75% thinned. You can see some scraggly hairs on top up close, but likely from more than 15 feet away it looks bald.
I know everyone in person basically ignores me, unless like the librarians they are somewhat familiar with at least parts of me as a person. So it shouldn't matter what my hair looks like, unique or like so many others who are bald or shaved, as it would not be an 'identifier' of me since people have no reason to interact with or remember me. I think it's really about having to let go of yet another thing from my past which has defined me as me. I'm already mostly not dressing how I'd like because my clothes are in storage (save for about 3 pairs of pants and 3-4 shirts I don't care about, and my 2 'house shirts' I also don't care about.) And that is where I want them to stay. I don't want my 'nice cloths' which would define me out to be worn out all the time since I can't wash or take care of them properly. They would be ruined too quickly. And without feeling unique by how I dress, my hair is the only thing left people can easily see which might make me unique or stand out.
I know in a few years this won't be a 'choice' like it is now, as what little is left up top will be gone and even the back may start thinning. But for the moment I'm not sure what to do with these feelings.
Day 6031 - 1/4 - Sore back
Today my back has felt pretty sore. It's not the worst, since I can get up and move aroundd at normal speeds, but it's definitely been messed up for some reason I think since last night some time.
I was also surprised yesterday by a call from the special eye doctor office. Apparently my appointment is set up for Monday. I remembered it being like 3 weeks from now, so that was a surprise. The sooner the better. Thankfully my vision is back to being bad. I'm going to purposely try to keep it wrecked Sunday and Monday. I have a theory that it's related to chocolate, and the big thing I was missing before that I've only theorized recently, is that it seems whatever causes the effect can stick around for 2-3 days. So in previous tests I didn't see a connection because I was basically only testing a thing for a few days, and wasn't accounting for something sticking around in my system more than 24 hours. So Tuesday I'll start a test of no chocolate at all for a week, which should be pretty easy to do since I usually only have a chocolate doughnut every other day. But until then, I'll wreck it on purpose to keep any observable results in my system.
Day 6032 - 1/5 - Play day
Today was mostly a play day. I finished what I had ready for my pen and paper hobby stuff pretty early, so I spent extra time playing. I had a fun time with one of the early access games I got. There wasn't really anything else special or different about the day, just my back continuing to be fussy.
Day 6033 - 1/6 - Eye appointment, finally
Today I finally have an eye appointment. I don't know what to expect, but I really hope it is more than looking at my eyes in the same way a regular eye doctor appointment does. But not being an eye doctor myself I have no idea what tests may or may not happen.
Day 6034 - 1/7 - Regular Tuesday
Today should be a pretty regular Tuesday. If I have no new information from my eye appointment I will likely have to keep considering various tests on my own. The first will be no chocolate and very limited cheese for a week. That way if there is a residual something in my system that can last for days it should clear. I may even do a casual log to have notes on vision clarity at a few times in the day related to the last time I had those foods. Hopefully either way I can get some new info and movement towards the vision I should have.
