This fail week there is some weirdness swallowing. My fancy ten keyless mechanical keyboard arrives, but it might not be a good fit for my sad life.

This fail week I get a brief stay in the ex-garage. The next stimulus payment comes, and quickly almost entirely goes.

This fail week I get a permanent bump in food stamp money. Things remind me my life is sad, so I feel down some days, but feel ok other days. A cold causes headaches, tiredness, and congestion. The weather goes back to cold rain.

This fail week I have a lot of jaw and tooth pain. I am reminded of my love of Egyptian things. I complete some in-game goals.

This fail week I am reminded my life is unstable, and I feel very fragile. My car conks out, but apparently is fine again after putting in some oil.

This fail week I have a few days of pretty extreme allergies, causing a lot of sneezing and sniffling.

This fail week cold and rain make being back out extra sad.

This fail week I get some more time in the ex-garage. Mostly it's good, but some of it is interrupted by extreme tooth and jaw pain.

This fail week I get some time in the ex-garage. Cutting myself in the shower and damage to my clay bunny some extra sad feelings.

This fail week vacation time is canceled. Things become unstable, making me feel shaky and worried. The weather turns to rain and the peak of 75F rapidly plummet to peaks closer to 50F.

This fail week I get a couple more days in the ex-garage, but I feel very heartbroken on leaving. My nerves become extremely shaken again.

This fail week I suffer what may have been an anaphylactic reaction. I get another brief stay in the ex-garage.

I also completed my playthrough of Cyberpunk 2077 at about 45 hours. Though I have lots of content left to do, I have several final thoughts about the game and my playthrough and what I thought about the open world nature.

This fail week another calendar year comes to a close, and I feel more broken than ever. But I suppose this year I am better prepared for opportunity than I have been in the past, and that is something.

This fail week I make it through rough times being outside, and get some extra gift surprises.

This fail week the vacation is over, and my life quickly turns back to very sad, very cold, and very bleak seeming times.

This fail week my most wanted game unlocks, I discover my knee caps are alarmingly dried out, and I get a few days of vacation.

This fail week I am worried about bills. My food stamps for 2021 are approved. My big bill can't be paid, then is paid by someone sending lots of help. New restrictions are announced due to the virus, but after much fear and worry, seem to not affect my life.

This fail week I have a surprise turkey day treat, but continue to become more and more worried about bills.

This fail week I have a sudden unexplained dizzy spell. I continue to worry about the bills that are coming up very soon.

This fail week my heart feels bad and I grow more worried about the bills.

This fail week the weather turns cold and I don't know how much longer I can be outside of my car. I grow ever more worried about my lack of money for bills and heartbroken for new games.

This fail week I'm given a fix it ticket, taking what little money I have to fix it, and creating another bill to pay that I don't have money for. The main location I use at night to be online goes dead.

This fail week the weather starts to turn very cold. My allergies or cold continues, accompanied by new mystery soreness and exhaustion.

This fail week the weather continues to bounce back and forth between cold and hot, turning this week into a blazing inferno briefly. My cold continues, and a sprain mysteriously appears in my shoulder.

This fail week what was extreme heat rapidly turns to near extreme cold.

This fail week my nose is still constantly running. Temperatures soar back up peaking at just over 100F.

This fail week the cold wrecks me. Dad gets a pacemaker.

This fail week I finish my first video podcast. My cold continues to linger.

This fail week the fires on this coast create an end of days orange sky for a few days. I'm sniffly and sneezy most of the week.

This fail week the new laptop comes. It seems super good for what it is, and I lose some sleep setting things up. I also get a bit of sanctuary during an extreme heat wave.

This fail week the fires in the area linger, but are becoming less frequent. I ponder if I should not wait for a higher-end laptop and go ahead and purchase the good system.

This fail week a few areas around me are on fire, and so I try to survive both smoke and the virus.

This fail week there is some seriously extreme heat. I am forced to spend more time in shadow out of my car, and at times don't even use my devices due to heat. A few early birthday presents show up.

This fail week there is disappointing news that the stimulus is at an impasse, and as such I am back to not knowing when it will come. With that sad news it feels I will never get a chance to change anything in my life, and these terrible days will continue as they are, unending.

This fail week there is an extreme amount of tooth pain, making me constantly aware of the loss. The week is extra difficult emotionally, but with the approaching deadline for finalizing the second stimulus I try to remain hopeful more will come.

This fail week there is extreme depression, as things feel like they will never change. But there is good news that more stimulus money is on the way, theoretically securing a laptop upgrade in the future.

This fail week things happen that remind me I am an outsider, and I feel like I can control nothing, and I am unsafe and will suffer no matter what I do.

This fail week I feel very sad and like I will never get a chance for change. More news lately seems to indicate there may be resistance to things reopening during August, and I may be stuck in exile through the rest of the year.

This fail week is a new fail year. I continue to hope enough stimulus comes to throw me a lifeline to gather enough to pay some bills and do a very overdue laptop upgrade. There is a surprise sanctuary in the ex-garage for the weekend.

This fail week classes end, and I feel more uncertain of my future for the next fail year than ever before.

This fail week I feel extra hopeless, exhausted, and accept my life seems like it will not be able to change for the better because of the virus closures and limitations.

This fail week there is the smallest bit of possibly good news in that the library is starting 'curb side service', possibly indicating an eventual reopen date sooner than August.

This fail week I get a brief break inside. All the limitations of everything takes a greater toll on my physically, and emotionally.

This fail week it seems more and more likely I won't be able to be back in the library and close to homeless normal until August.

This fail week laptop options continue to be pushed in dates. Sadly, I think I reach a kind of peaceful and hopeless acceptance that even if the stay at home order is lifted at the end of the month, I feel like nothing will change for me.

This fail week I feel like parts of me are shutting down due to disuse and limitations. I get a brief visit to stay sheltered.

This fail week I see my hands not trembling for the first time. California enters 'phase 2' of reopening, but that has no impact on my area. There is a new high end laptop I'd love to get, but it's sadly only a wish as it's out of my price range.

I also talk a bit about XCOM: Chimera Squad. It feels very different from previous XCOM games, but retains a lot of the core feel of the world, as well as the in-combat strategy.

This fail week I got my stimulus money, opening up the possibility for getting my new laptop. But with everything closed due to the virus, it looks like the model I want is delayed until June 11th, meaning I likely won't be able to upgrade until things start opening up and going back to normal.

This fail week I got a big donation, which helps with all the things. I got a late bunny day present, which was super nice. And just as my nerves begin to calm down nearing the end of the stay at home date, word is announced it may be extended as long as 28 more days.

This fail week school starts. I feel a bit more normal, but not as much as I'd hoped. Stay at home moves to the control of the states, but we see no change in the timetable.

This fail week is only half way through the quarantine time and these bad times seem like they will never end. Yet I'm beginning to reach an odd balance. There are still periods of P.T.S.D. and anxiety, but they are becoming less frequent.

This fail week things seem like they will never get better, as the stay at home order is extended by 30 days. I notice rapid weight loss, and my health and emotional state become extremely fragile.