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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 16: Different Paths

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 15 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 16 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 787

Day 5503 - 7/26 - Pew pew

Today I had a lot of fun with my new shooter. I played most of the day, only doing a very tiny bit in other games. I did sleep a bit more, but just 7 hours. I still don't know why I'm having so much trouble sleeping.

Yesterday started pretty badly. The internet was not connecting at all. But then I discovered it was just the corner where I normally sit and moved. Today I was somewhere else, so it wasn't an issue.

I guess today was pretty good overall, though I'm still having a bit of goopy eyes, and sometimes my focus locks for no reason and it's very hard to see.

Day 5504 - 7/27 - Possibly ruined contacts

Today I have had to wipe and re-moisten my contacts like three times during the day to keep clear vision. It occurred to me today as I was doing so that maybe there is some kind of contact contamination. I don't have a great way to keep the case they stay in overnight very clean, so I had a thought that maybe it has become contaminated, and each night I might be re-contaminating the contacts even though I put new solution in there twice a week. I guess tomorrow I'll try getting a new case and dumping this pair and hope things will be better and back to normal.

I had a pretty good day though. The library connection seemed normal and I only had a few disconnections from my game, which may or may not have been due to library issues. So overall the day was pretty fun, though my eyes hurt from issues, my lower back hurts from lack of sleep, and I still feel pretty exhausted overall.

Day 5505 - 7/28 - Better contacts

Today changing my contacts seem to have helped. I've had no goopiness and no itching. So either it was a bad previous pair, something contaminated the case, or today just happens to be the one day my eyes got over a cold or allergies.

Though I have been having the 'everything past 10 feet is blurry' issue. I guess I should really make the time to research a place that can take my insurance and try and do that. I've been putting it off because at a minimum that's going to be about $25 a visit, so that could add up very quickly. But if it turns out the tests are free, and there's a medicine that is like *poof* no more blurry vision issues, it would be worth it.

But I had a lot of fun with my game today, even though there were several games online with dumb people. And hopefully tomorrow will be good too.

Day 5506 - 7/29 - Open door

Today the only thing of note was as I was leaving the library and things were closing, a few cars over from where I parked there was a fancy, but dirty, tesla with its driver side door wide open and no one around who looked like they were the owner. I waited a few minutes, but no one seemed to be making their way to or from the car. I closed the door and left a note that I did so. I didn't check if it had keys in it, but I did see a tablet like screen in the middle and a very different looking console than normal cars. Right before I left someone came over saying thanks. I guess the owners were maybe coming back and were close enough to see me putting the note on their car. I guess everything was fine.

I had a fun day other than that. Though again my eyes had gone blind. Weirdly it seems to only have happened very recently. Throughout the day I was checking distance and things looked normal. But now, again, everything past about 10 feet is a bit blurry. I'll try to remember to look into an appointment Monday.

But the day was ok, though the library was so cold I had to put extra stuff on again, but the day overall was ok.

Day 5507 - 7/30 - Need sunglasses

Today for some reason I really need sunglasses. The outside light feels about twice as bright as normal and is very painful to my eyes, both in the morning and evening. The past few days my eyes have been extra sensitive, though overall my eyes are light sensitive, but I'm not sure what is up with that.

I had a super fun time playing my new game. I didn't play much online with strangers, because at this point people at max level are just farming for money or running around super fast and crazy looking for secrets. It's almost like no one is 'playing normally' anymore. Which is basically fine. I can just play by myself and not worry about strangers matching my style or not. It's a bit lonely, but that's better than them running off and feeling abandoned, lost, or in the case of one person being an ass and purposly shooting and killing me.

Day 5508 - 7/31 - Maybe no micro

Today I don't know if I can micro or not. I forgot to check at the time I'm writing this, so I'll have to peek back online and see if this is the last week for summer classes, or if last week was the last.

Hopefully this will be my biggest issue today and nothing else bad happens. Hopefully I can have an overall restful day.

Day 5509 - 8/1 - Birthday month

Today is the first day of my birthday month. It seems strange that it's August. It still feels like it's only March or April. I guess a lot of that has to do with it only really started staying warm about two weeks ago. Before that it was stupidly cold.

But hopefully today I will be warm enough, and restful, and have a good day.

Week 788

Day 5510 - 8/2 - Cold day

Today it was pretty cold. It was like 65F when the library opened. And though it was warmer inside, I wouldn't say it was a lot warmer. I still had all my layers on including a hoodie. And it's not just me, as several others had extra cloths on, and a teen at my table pulled out a blanket from her bag to wrap around her.

I had fun with my games. I wanted to watch stuff, but I had nothing to watch. But overall it was a pretty restful day.

Day 5511 - 8/3 - Sad DMV picture

Today I am pretty sad about my new DMV picture. I got it a couple of days ago and it's been sad since. Compared to my previous one from five years ago I almost look like a different person. In the old I wasn't exactly tan, but I had some decent color to my skin for someone who is naturally very pale. My hair seemed ok, though still mostly balding, and my smile looked genuine and hopeful. With my new one I look very pale and sickly. My eyes look very swollen and there are great bags under them and a much more noticeable jowl. My hair looks disheveled, like some kind of crazy person.

I guess it mostly looks how I feel. It's also possible the last picture was from 10, or maybe even 15 years ago. I don't recall the last time they forced me to do a picture. If it was 10 years ago that would have been at the height of my being a T.A.; homeless still, sure, working only 10-20 hours a week, so I had 'ok' money for things, and I was around young (happy) people being helpful with fun projects. If it were 15 years ago that would have been a few months after I'd first become homeless, one of the roughest times for me, but possibly still within the time I was hopeful things could turn around quickly enough.

There isn't much to be done about it. I am how I am and little can be done to fix my health without change.

Other than that the day was pretty good. I had fun with my new shooter, and a game I pre-bought in early access like 2 or 3 years ago. It's finally 'full release', so that is super fun to play as well.

Day 5512 - 8/4 - Upset system

Today my body systems seem very upset about something. Since I got to the library I was going to the bathroom every 40-60 minutes. It seemed like everything was racing through me. I wonder if I might be sick or something. I don't really have any symptoms other than some congestion.

I guess today was ok. Nothing bad happened. I guess other than the body weirdness the day was pretty good.

Day 5513 - 8/5 - Feeling lonely

Today I was feeling pretty sad and lonely. I had a good time with my games, especially the new shooter I spent most of the day playing. Though I just played solo instead of going online. People in online groups are being weird and dumb lately, so it doesn't feel worth going online, but it did make things feel a bit more lonely.

I guess overall today was pretty good though. I had as much fun as I could, and nothing bad happened, so there is at least that.

Day 5514 - 8/6 - Super hot

Today it was super hot outside. I think I saw it showed it was over 90F. It's supposed to cool down again, so that is good. As always it was freezing inside the library. Nearly all day I was fully dressed, hoodie on. I only took it off in the very late afternoon when it started to get full and it was barely warm enough to do so.

I guess overall it was an ok day. It still felt a bit lonely, but I did stuff that I didn't want other people messing me up on, so it wasn't as lonely feeling.

Day 5515 - 8/7 - Sleeping in Monday, maybe

Today I maybe get to sleep in. It will depend on what my body does. It's been sleeping very well lately, but still is getting up after only about 7 hours of sleep, and having a tough time getting to sleep. Hopefully I'll get a bit more sleep, as I'm super exhausted lately. And hopefully it won't be too hot.

Day 5516 - 8/8 - Hopefully more sleep

Today I will hopefully be getting more sleep again. Outside of that, and hoping it isn't too hot, I really don't know what to expect for the day. During summers my days become one long loop of the same pattern. I probably should break the pattern with different things, but in so many ways I feel like it's pointless to do so. The things to improve myself with wouldn't be just for me. Like getting better at drawing is both for doing table top game art, and graphic design. But I neither have friends I play table top games with, nor a job in graphic design, so I feel like ultimately that would be wasted time.

I guess as always I live one day at a time. And I continue on and hope to make it to better days. At least to days where I don't feel like things I would do would be pointless.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008-2024
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)
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