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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 16: Different Paths

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 15 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 16 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 795

Day 5559 - 9/20 - Cute girl

Today my brain has been thinking of a cute girl I have seen lately at a shop I go to on Tuesdays. I could go on and on about why I have a crush, but I won't. The short reason is she is certainly too young, and while she hasn't been unfriendly towards my light flirting I would be extremely surprised if she were ever actually interested. Besides, with no home and everything in storage I really don't have much to offer.

My eyes have been very bad today. Early in the day my heart felt bad too. I'm getting a bit worse overall I think. It's odd because I'm drinking half the sodas and often not having a doughnut in the morning, so you'd think if too much sugar were related I would be getting better, not worse. Well, I guess all I can do is keep monitoring things. And once school is fully open again next week I can go back to micro foods half the week, so that should help.

Day 5560 - 9/21 - Worse and better

Today I started out feeling a bit worse, with my heart feeling bad, but as the day went on I was feeling better, better even than other days lately. Things seemed not very stressful, and my vision held, so probably it is related to overall blood pressure.

I had fun playing my games and watching some shows, and overall tried my best to hang on.

Day 5561 - 9/22 - Another gone

Today I got news of another person who I've known for about 35 years has passed. There isn't any info on why, and it seems strange since in the past few years he's posted very frequently on the social page (sometimes 10 times a day or more.) He was always overly thin, so it's possible there was some kind of medical issue I didn't know about. I'm sad he's gone, but we were as never as close as I'd have liked. (I suppose a common theme.) I was briefly roomies with him when we first met, and I'll admit back then I was very 'stand-off-ish' and didn't want people close, so maybe that always affected our relationship. But in the time since I probably only saw him maybe two dozen times total over the years, and several of those times invited him to do stuff. He was always super popular and knew lots of people, so it makes sense he was busy with people in his more immediate circle.

But it was a pretty good day other than that. I guess as good as it could be. But with teh news of now a second person who knew me being gone I worry about my own health. And I wonder, even though we didn't interact much, are parts of me dissapearing with them.

Day 5562 - 9/23 - Ok day

Today was an ok day. Nothing really special or interesting happened, though the internet did drop around noon. I didn't even notice at first because I was playing offline then, so it didn't really matter. As always the day could have been better, but I suppose it wasn't the worst.

Day 5563 - 9/24 - Still down

Today the library internet has still been down. I'm actually writing this much earlier than normal. I've had a pretty bad headache and been sneezy lately. I maybe have a cold or allergies again. With no internet the day could have been a lot better.

Day 5564 - 9/25 - A bit of school again

Today is the start of another quarter of taking classes and hiding from needing to pay back financial aid loans. I expect it will be pretty loud in the cafeteria, but I can shower in the morning, get micro foods for the day, and most certainly have internet again. I don't know how much class stuff I'll have though, as this is the first day of the first week. And I may wind up with just the one class instead of two. I never got confirmation I was moved from the wait list to actually in the second class, so I'll have to wait and see on that one.

Day 5565 - 9/26 - School Tuesday

Today all I know is I'll have another day on campus. Hopefully things will be ok and don't feel too awkward (being in the cafeteria all the time with only online class stuff, and what with being older.) Hopefully I can have good micro foods, internet, and be calm and restful since my overall health seems basically at an all time low. Hopefully I can continue to hang on until better days.

Week 796

Day 5566 - 9/27 - Starving

Today I am trying to solve the mystery of why I feel like I'm starving. In calories, just food for today I'd guess I've eaten about 900 calories, which is probably average for days I can micro food. I don't know how many calories the lunch meat I usually get when I can't is, but I would guess it's much less. But ever since school started this week I feel like I've eaten 75-50% of the food I've actually eaten. Most of the time I've felt like I'm starving.

In the past I'd just be fine with it and get an extra micro food to eat until the feeling goes away. Usually I don't need to do that more than a couple of days during a week to feel caught up again. But on Monday I discovered part of the possible reason for the disappearance of so much of my saved food money. The average micro meal I get seems to have gone up from about 4 to about 6 when not on sale, and 3.5-4 on sale. So if I got 2 of those that would easily put me very close to, or over, my food budget for the day. (Snacks, desserts, and soda not counted.) Today I was very careful to find the super cheap 2.50 food, and find a normal food on sale for about 3.50, so I was ok, but I'll have to be very careful to check prices to be sure I stay closer to the daily budget.

But it seems really confusing to me. So far this week I've eaten my normal amount of micro food and I've felt like I'm starving. I am having less soda, averaging around 2 a day (and then one at night) compared to the 3-4 I used to have during the day, so maybe that's part of it? I'd heard it can be an appetite suppressant, but in my case it feels more like a lot of hunger due to missing calories.

All I can do is try to watch my budget, and hope the hunger goes away, or I find small windows of 'extra money' to get extra food and not feel so hungry.

Day 5567 - 9/28 - Closing early

Today it seems for sure the food area I hang out in is closing way earlier than it used to. Back before the apocalypse the food cooking area would be open until between 7-8 (closing at 8, but they stopped cooking various things during that last hour), and the seating area would be open until about as late as 10. I guess they finally got rid of evening classes and so justify closing earlier because no one is around. The food cooking stops at around 4:30 now and they are bouncing people out at 6. It's fine really, as that's around when I'd normally leave, but it still seems such a massive change in the number of people and connectivity between students since they moved things online during the apocalypse. I don't know that school will ever go back to the way it was at the rate it's going.

I wasn't quite as hungry as yesterday, but it was still hungrier than I should have been. I got super cheap hot dogs to have ready for tomorrow and Saturday. It's crazy how the prices have changed. The healthier ones I used to get that are all beef used to be around 6-7, and now they are up to 7-9 (depending on the brand). Which is just absurd compared to the chicken and pork kinds that are only around 5. Which even 5 is higher than they used to be. There's no way I'd be comfortable paying like 9 for the healthier ones I used to get when they used to be about 6. That's just way too much, even more so compared to the non-all beef prices. I don't know how or why they were so cheap, but the ones I got were like 2.50. They don't taste terrible and certainly have more than 30% of the taste of the most expensive ones. I'd say they taste 70% as good (ignoring that they aren't all beef.) They probably are pretty terrible health wise, but I have to be very careful with my food money.

All in all today was ok, but as usual I was mostly blind. There was the blood pressure machine on the way out since I went a different way, and I'm still in the middle of the hypertension 2 category, so that is really bad.

Day 5568 - 9/29 - Gray

Today has had gray skies. I guess in bad news the Internet at the library where I usually sit today was down again. The good news though is a guy who is there all the time said he complained, and they are finally in the process of changing over to Wi-Fi 6, which being blocks from Apple I guessed they would have done that years ago since so many patrons would be high-tech and expect it. I didn't see any workers or signs of changing the connection points, so I don't know how long it will be, but hopefully these periods of no connection stops soon.

The day got, and stayed, very gray after about 11. I don't think it actually rained at any point today, but it did a few days ago. I guess we are maybe heading towards rainy times.

Outside of the Internet being down all day at the library, I guess my day was ok. I have three different games I can play offline that are basically new (one is an expansion for an old game), so really it was basically fine.

Day 5569 - 9/30 - Alive again

Today was better. At around 1 the Internet got itself back up. I had a pretty normal weekend day in general, as I did what I normally would have, just in a different order. It was still stupidly cold there. I don't get it. It constantly feels like it's 68F there or lower.

Day 5570 - 10/1 - Tired

Today I am a bit tired. I didn't sleep as much as I could have. I did sleep really good though, so I guess maybe my body felt it didn't need more?

I had fun with my games today. Things were pretty normal. Though my tummy feels a bit off and more acidic than normal, so that doesn't feel great.

Day 5571 - 10/2 - Maybe just the one class

Today is the start of the second school quarter week. The one class I have seems pretty easy. I did all of last week's stuff in about 2 hours I think. I don't expect it will be so quick this week, but we'll see.

I haven't heard anything about adding the second class, which is the one I really wanted. I guess if I don't hear back by the end of the week it probably isn't going to happen. (I'm 2nd on the wait list.) While I think you can still add after that, catching up might be stressful. Plus it seems unlikely if people haven't dropped by the end of this week they probably aren't going to.

Day 5572 - 10/3 - Hopefully cutie

Today hopefully I'll see the cutie at the store. I didn't go last week, so obviously I didn't see her then. I made an excuse to go Saturday, but she wasn't there. I still doubt she'd ever be interested, but it's nice to feel like I could still find someone, that I'm not too old to feel like I could fall in love again, and maybe someday I could still meet someone.

I don't know what to expect at school. I probably will have finished my class stuff, so I will probably just try to be calm and restful.

It may be raining. It's been sprinkling a bit lately, with threats of more serious rain.

Whatever happens, hopefully I can continue to hang on until better days. With news of two people I used to know around my age passing lately, and well known stars passing around my age, it makes me worry.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008-2024
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)
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