Day 393 - 7/29 - Feels like Saturday
Bit of an early lunch nom at just after 11. I slept so well for once last night / this morning. I don't know if it's because I have the day off or if maybe I've had a bit of a cold and my body really needed the sleep.
Not sure what to talk about. After getting up I checked fun boards; nothing going on there. After I finish lunch I'll try and update my resume a bit and check job boards. Since I have pizza to nom for dinner I'll probably leave campus early around 3 and go do some wireless gaming. (I always get a small to go box at all you can eat night, hehe. )
Unless there is a surprise in my email, or a call, or something else, I expect today will be uneventful.
Guess that's it for now. K thx bye.
Day 394 - 7/30 - Leaving the guild
It's way too early in the morning time at around 8:45. I couldn't get any school sleep because someone has been banging and crashing with chairs and planks - there is a storgae area near where I park. I suppose though that with a regular hour / full time job it's more than likely I'd need to be at work by 8 every morning, so I suppose it's not too bad.
Yesterday was almost like a Saturday. I had an ok time in the morning, save for getting my new schedule for the next two weeks which stressed me out. And in the afternoon I decided to go see one of the movies that are out that I've been interested in. I played for a little bit wirelessly then watched a rental movie; A decent day considering my limitations.
It is again cloudy and cold today. It looks like it will rain either later today or very soon. I don't know what's up with that. It's very unusual weather for the summer.
Well, once I leave the car I'll have about 3 hours before a mini work shift. I need to catch up with Burn Notice, so I may do that. I may update my resume, or I may update my older domain. I'm thinking I'll more likely grab what I need to do those updates on Sunday or Friday during my gym work shift since I'm basically free to do whatever.
I suppose it's a good thing that I didn't get a ticket to BlizzCon. With just some very minor changes to my "monthly budget" due to a more realistic food figure and rising gas costs, I haven't managed to save up anywhere near what I would have needed for hotel, food, and air-fare. (Of course, I didn't get a ticket, so I also haven't been sacrificing to save every penny I could.) I think at this point I'd be very lucky to have half of the estimated savings by the time we get to late August.
I suppose it's ok. I forgot to account for school costs, so what I do save between now and late August will basically need to go towards next semester.
Planning a real budget would prevent forgetting about that kind of stuff. Back when I was in a room I did have a budget that projected as far as a year forward. But since I've been homeless there has been no need. I've either simply not had the money or would have found a real budget too depressing. I have one of sorts in my wallet, but it only projects two weeks (with a few rare notes further down the line.) That's as far as I can really think ahead these days - the span of my current work schedule. I never know what will happen beyond that. I suppose that gives me some sense of freedom and hope for things to improve, yet it is more often a sense of fear and dispair.
That's all for now. Guess I'll go start my day.
It's around 7:30, time for dinner nom. The inevitable has happened. I was playing wirelessly and the four people I added to my friend list from the guild no longer showed up in the guild. Now all the people I liked in the guild are gone. So, later tonight just before I 'go to sleep' I'll leave the guild as well. I haven't yet decided if I'll look for a new one right away or stay unguilded. I'll probably stay unguilded at least for a while.
My friend wrote a pretty long email. It seems he's not working 60-70 hours like I read on his page somewhere, but is in fact 'between jobs'. Hopefully though he isn't too bad off, as he's getting unemployment. (His 'paycheck' is 3x-4x what I'm making, heh.) He's taking care of his little one, which is good, but ones that little can make finding work tough. (She's like one year old.)
I had a pretty ok time at work (for once). Tomorrow will be a crazy day though. I've got a shift, then a meeting, then a gym shift.
Guess that's it for today. K thx bye.
Day 395 - 7/31 - Random smile
I seem to have gotten the time wrong for work and I'm here 15 minutes early. It's really annoying to have a different shift (of a possible 5) every day. Well, a few more weeks and all the extra stuff is over and it's back to a solid schedule.
Nothing much going on today so far. I was woken up earlier than I would have otherwise slept by construction at the school pool spot. Hopefully that won't be going on during the weekend as well.
It was different being in the game and being on my own again this morning. Though, even if I had still been in the guild noone was on that I knew.
It will be nice to have gym mini work tonight. While not super quiet with all the thumpa-thumpa of the basketballers, it is one of the few mostly private times I have. If that dumb camper weren't in the sleeping spot I could go there at my earlier time and get some privacy then, but they have been there like three weeks now. With them there I fear going earlier because they may discover me, or they may cause a comotion that attracts unwanted attention.
Guess that's it for now. I can't think of much else to say. A girl (like 8 years old) was at the Starbucks this morning sitting outside. She smiled at me through the window. That was nice.
Day 396 - 8/1 - Bear Dr. to ER, stat
It's early lunch time at just past 11:15. I rescued a (stuffed) bear yesterday. Soooo sad. He was by the roadside at an onramp to a freeway around 11, still there later at around 4, and then I picked him up around 10:30 at night. I dried him off as best I could and he looks realitvely ok. He's dressed like a 1920's aviator and the only real skuff marks are on his pants and flying scarf. Unfortunately those can't really be removed. I just dropped him off at my friend/ex-roomies so she could clean him up and give him to her niece or donate him.
I grabbed lunch and changed out my rental movies. The month of rentals is just about up. I settled into a parking spot to have lunch; then, funny thing, my friend/ex-roomie comes boping up to one of my windows and asks what the bear is for. Lawl. I told her the story. Don't have to email her on that now. (She was going out shopping and stopped to get a coffee.)
I also chatted for a bit with an old boss of mine at a store; An actual chat, not just chit-chat. One of those where you say, 'hey, you are a good guy and people care about you' without actually saying the words.
That's it so far. It's only 11:30 now, so the day is still just starting; though I doubt anything really interesting will happen.
Day 397 - 8/2 - Midevil ghosts
It's laundry time at almost 1:30. There was a gym shift, now laundry, wireless play and boards later, and that's really my day. I don't know how interesting it will be to read about. Then again my days probably aren't all that interesting for the most part, heh.
That's it so far I guess. K thx bye.
Nothing much exciting today. I did send/get some hello messages from some ghosts from my SCA past due to my Facebook page. I expect I'll probably see more in the coming days. One is married now with a new baby, the other divorced since I last saw him. He's recently ben laid off and he's taking a break touring in Germany a bit.
The healthy drink experiment is going ok I suppose. I don't feel any healthier in weight or energy levels, but I have noticed my tummy feels... lighter when I drink the lemonaid compared to Pepsi. I don't really know how to describe it. It's tough though due to higher cost and far less of it being in stock at the store. Even if I could afford as much as I wanted it would be tough to get as that flavor is often out of stock, and even when it is in stock there isn't much.
This weekend has seemed long and relaxing. I'm not looking forward to the chaos of next week as I've got all kinds of crazyness with my schedule. At least I think these two weeks are the last of it, then it should settle back in to its winter schedule.
I'll have to try to not forget to study for the CBEST as well. I may get completely caught off guard if I forget to study as I'm sure if it were super easy everyone would do it.
Guess that's it for tonight.
Day 398 - 8/3 - Save my nuts
I have a moment of quiet during aquatics mini work at just past 12:30. I'm here for a longer shift today, so I won't be free until 3:45. It's cold today and it actually sprinkled a bit on the car when I moved at around 6.
I was thinking of writing something in particular this morning but I seem to have forgotten what I wanted to write. Maybe it was just a dream.
Hopefully I can find study materials for the CBEST at the library. That's my big thing this week.
It looks like I'll get a decent amount of hours and pay next paycheck (comparitvely speaking) but I'll have to be like a squirl and start to save my nuts for the winter. As hours get cut back again and costs like school and car insurance come back around I'll need a bit of savings for that, not to mention taxes.
Guess that's all for today. Outside of starting to/looking for CBEST study materials that's likely all that will happen today. K thx bye.
Day 399 - 8/4 - Extention
It's nearing 11:45 at aquatics mini work. I'm about to nom lunch, so hungry.
I called to get an extention on my taxes. They sent a 'call in 10 days or else' letter. I really hope they don't charge me too extra. When I filed taxes there was an option to pay monthly for $100 extra. What the poop?! How would it be fair or logical to charge me $100 more if I don't have the original $250 in the first place?! How about a max 20% beyond what you owe? That would be fine. A 40% increase on someone who is so close to not being taxed at all is absurd and completely unfair.
Guess that's really it so far. A few new ghosts are haunting me on Facebook. I'm totally looking forward to salad and pizza nom tonight. That's it for now. Haven't started studying for the test yet.
All I can nom dinner time. Didn't do much today; spent most of it working, which is good. I remembered that I'm still behind a bit on Burn Notice, so I watched an episode of that. I feel bad about hesitating on studying for the CBEST, but with my life in such a disaster it's difficult to focus on anything work or school (advancement) related.
I got a very unexpected and happy friend invite. It's from a person I haven't seen in probably 15 years. We weren't ever really close in the sense that we were separated a lot, but we were always very close in that I could tell he genuinly cared and we had fun when he was around. He's always had a seemingly exciting life traveling off to live/work in various areas. He was in L.A. for a while, then I think New York. I've always been a little jealous of that. I've wondered what a life would be like traveling in different places. I sent him a hello message, but this just happened so I may not hear back for a bit. (And you certainly won't see an update on it for this week's fail.)
WoW is being updated to patch 3.2 so there are lots of changes going on. I'll check in to that later. I figure the servers will be jammed up for a while and it will be hell on my netbook and wireless connection to try and get in right when the servers are back up. I should have many new and interesting gem cuts to look forward to and a new dungeon, which I can't get to until I've passed through and gotten the loots for the ones before it.
Will getting in touch with various ghosts bring anything new to my life? I guess we'll see. It has made things seem just a little bit brighter knowing peeps are out there that think of me and want to say hi; certainly more than I would have guessed it would.
Guess that's it for this week. K thx bye.
Day 400 - 8/5 - Committed
It's nearing 1, having a late lunch. I got some nice messages from a few of the ghosts that have surfaced lately. There is one person (an ex) who added where things are a bit aquard. She still seems clingy and not someone I'd hang out with or date again, so that's kind of weird.
I still haven't had the mental focus to start looking into studying for the test yet. I'm getting pretty upset at myself about that. I was thinking about random things last night though, the things that are disrupting my focus. I figured I'm losing roughly three hours every day to travel. (This isn't counting time to and from work.) Going to/from the sleeping spots, to/from the showers, to/from the library, to/from the cafeteria, to/from my wireless access spot, all the time packing and unpacking my stuff; it all adds up to a rediculous amount of lost time every day. And, my day is cut up into chunks because of it. I rarely have more than two hours at any given time in one spot.
The focus and efficiency I easily had in a home is long since gone. I'm constantly in a mental haze, like when you've been awake way too long and are then driving home; you know the way, so your sleepy brain just runs on reactive auto-pilot, no real thought is involved. The fact that I have a different work shift every day likely doesn't help either. There seems almost no consitency or regularity with my daily routine lately.
Lots of fun new things to look forwar to in my game. Tons of gem cuts to buy - more than sites originally estimated. It will be nearly a year I think of doing daily quests to get them all. (Though there is a something I can buy to speed that up a touch if I have the gold to do so.)
I've decided to try and be committed to doing a little workout. As I think I mentioned, when I was put out I'd just started doing a little workout now and then and was at the beginning stages of getting into a touch better shape and getting my tummy a bit gone. (I doubt I'll ever get a '6-pack'.) It's really tough though as I'll mostly have to do it in the car, but I'll try. As long as I have enough food to have the energy it's more than nothing. Maybe having one thing back in my life I have full control of will help me regain some focus.
Guess that's it for now. I should try and go study.
I have like 4 hours until I need to go for a work shift.
It's almost 7, just nommed dinner at aquatics mini work. What I was expecting to be a quiet stress-free shift has had some stress. Some of the staff are here doing some training, so there is stress that the grumpy boss may grump at me about something. And one of the people who were in the 'opening rush' complained about a lady who was in front of him because I let her fill out a form. Seriously? Like the extra 5-10 seconds for her to do that is going to somehow disrupt your evening? And it will do so to the point that you took another 10 seconds out of everyone's time to complain about it instead of just letting things progress? I'm sure none of my readers are like that, but if you ever find yourself in a position where being delayed in a line of people for 5-10 seconds stresses you out to the point you must complain you should seriously re-examine your life because something is very wrong.
I finally got around to looking at the practice test and did it. I did as good as I expected I would with an 85% on math and 86% on reading. I'll look for materials to study tomorrow, but as I feared it really isn't something I could learn quickly. Really studying and re-learning concepts I've forgotten could take weeks and require a tutor. Thankfully some of my wrong answers were due to not quite reading the question super carefully, so had I done that I'd likely have gotten closer to 90%.
I checked my resume too, but it really didn't need major updating. Job sites are still dead. Of the city sites I check three of the four had zero postings. The main site I check jobs at had maybe two dozen postings across all sections. I tried to sign up for classes too, but the site was giving errors and failed.
I'll be doing some wireless gaming after work so that will be fun, but that will likely be all for my day. K thx bye.
Day 401 - 8/6 - Tight pants
Lunch time at around 12:15. I've got less than a half-hour until I need to go to mini work. After I may spend a tiny bit, like $5, at the game center. With needing to raid two days per raid in most cases I've been getting more and more sad as I can't afford that much time more often than every few weeks. The small visit will allow me some progress for teh cheap. My wireless play does allow me to progress with my crafting stuff, but not really with my adventuring stuff. After, I'll likely head over to the public library to grab a book to study a bit tonight and tomorrow night.
I think it may have actually rained sometime this morning. When I came to the library the ground was wet pretty much everywhere.
Not sure what else to say. I'm soooo sleepy even though I slept really well. I did a tiny workout. I find it's best to alternate between regular sized workouts, small workouts, and rest days.
Guess that's it for now.
It's 8:15, dinner nom. My day has gone differently than I planned. After work I decided to go ahead and take a shower because I'd changed my mind about the game center. I thought more and more and even though it is cheap for a few hours during the week, there is no guarentee I'll see gain during that time. I could wind up doing nothing. So, I decided not to chance it and just stick to wireless. After my shower I went to the slow (public) library to get a couple of books to study for the test. I also decided to get some cheap fast food. Tummy decided it really wanted something closer to solid food. This particular cheap fast food is only 30% more (+$1) more expensive than a good soup on sale, so it isn't too much more than what a fair homeless dinner costs.
I'm still mad at myself for not getting the study books earlier in the week or last week, but motivation has been very difficult lately. Back in the day in a home I'd have easily gotten it last week, maybe the day I signed up for the test or the day after. I'd have been happily studying and taking breaks playing my game. I find I study best by doing small repeated sessions mixed up with play. But I can't do that now. My study locations can't connect to the game and the places that do are too noisy/distracting to study in. I'll have to do it old school and study a bit in my car after dinner, at the library tomorrow, and at gym mini work tomorrow evening. Honestly by not having weeks to study my score is more likely to improve by answering the questions super carefully than it is by quick reminders of concepts I've long since fallen out of practice on.
My pants are tight. I don't know when or how it happened, but the 10 pounds I'd once lost seem to be back. I noticed the pants were tight when I put them on after my shower and sure enough the scale verified it wasn't the pants but my tummy indeed being a bit bigger again. While not terrible at ~185, it's sad to think that the weight somehow came back without my noticing.
Guess that's it for tonight. Time to start the first test study session.
Day 402 - 8/7 - CBEST prep
Quiet shift at aquatics mini work. It's about 11:30, so I'll be eating soon. I brought in one of the books to study for the CBEST. I don't get it though. The book says like 52% is passing. Seriously? What counts as a failing grade is passing? So if you actually pass the 8th grade level you have already passed tests at a higher grade score than the CBEST requires? Wouldn't it just make more sense to not do the test and say anyone who passes high-school qualifies? People forget, sure, but it seems silly to me.
I made a big fancy chart for gems for my game, hehe. The cuts they added were too many to do it in the format I had it before. It looks all fancy and nice this way. I can't print in color until I can get to my printer. I'll proably try and do that Monday. I saw my friend/ex-roomie with her boyfriend who hates me this morning when I was playing wirelessly, so they will likely be at their place at various times today. She used to work at home / take Friday off all the time, so I never know if she's out or not on Fridays.
I'll probably just do laundry, study, and play wirelessly the rest of the day until my gym mini work.
K thx bye.
Day 403 - 8/8 - Seat 01617
It's nearing 8:30 at the test. There were like 1,000 peeps waiting outside at the main area. I don't see how there can be a teacher shortage with 1k people taking the test at one center alone. (The test happens at multiple sites each time.) Unless, of course, several fail the test. It wouldn't surprise me if lots failied though since many seem unable to find the correct room or seat numbe. You would think that should be part of the math test.
So sleepy. I couldn't get to sleep until around 1 so I probably got somewhere around 6-6.5 hours of sleep. I pounded a Pepsi and hot chocolate before coming here. Kind of icky, but hopefully that will jump start me enough so my brain works ok. I don't understand why they don't offer a test in the afternoon when people are more awake. I suppose though that I may have to get up this early regularly if I do get in to a teaching position.
Hopefully I won't have to work later unless I finish super early. I'd rather skip the shift because I'm so sleepy than get the few extra hours. (I know it sounds bad to say that, but that's how I feel right now.)
Test is starting now, gotta go.
It's nearing noon; test is over. I think I did ok, but I guess I won't know until like mid-September. I think I did super good on math. There were only like two questions I wasn't sure about (or couldn't check by just using the possible answers.) Reading I don't know. Since that's comprehension, I either got it or not. There is no alternate solution method or check like there is with math. I hope I did ok on the writing. I write all the time, but they are looking for specific things.
I was supposed to be at work at 11:45. I told my boss I'd be late, as I couldn't find a replacement in over a week of looking. I'm going to take some time for me first and have some food, I'm starving, take a minute to upload something I changed, and take a few minutes for myself. I'd put on my time card that I would be there at 1:30, so only being not even noon now I should be earlier than that, so I'm sure it will be fine.
Off I go for now, but with being at work until 5 that's likely all for today's writing.
Day 404 - 8/9 - Happening differently
It's a quiet Sunday morning shift at gym mini work. I really wish I had 3-4 of these shifts a week. It would be so much less stressful and a 100% predictable schedule (vs. the one gym shift and upwards to seven aquatic shifts per week.)
I was going to raid tonight but I'm on "standby". I'll go in early and get some stuff done I normally can't, have some fun doing that, then see if I'm needed for the raid. If not I'll likely leave very early compared to when I would have for the raid and then call it a night or just continue wirelessly.
I'm still so tired from the test, but I think I did super good on the math and reading. The writing I may have gotten a bit rably and unfocused, but that often seems the case with test topics where I'm timed and they aren't topics of my choosing.
Hope everyone's Sunday is going good. As always I'd love nothing more than to be in a home where I could game and watch my movies like a regular person on a Sunday.
Tonight went differently than I expected. The weather finally turned from cold to the nice summery 95F that it should be. I didn't get the dinner I expected, I got something else that was on sale. I didn't get in to the raid I planned on, I got in to another.
I suppose all-in-all a good day, particularly since peeps were nice to me online. I may help them continue their raid tomorrow, I don't know yet.
I have shelter. I have food. I have plenty of warmth. Things are still sad and falling behind, but other things seem ok and are holding at fair levels.
Guess that's all for tonight. 'Night peeps.
Day 405 - 8/10 - Altered evening
At aquatics mini work. It's pretty quiet, but there are some extra people here now. It's around 11:45 and I'm nomming lunch. It's weird because I was starving before I made it, but now that I've eaten half I'm feeling full. It could be the heat because it's pretty warm. There were cupcakes here for some unknown reason, so I can has treat.
I think I'll go play for a bit at the game center today. I've really missed grouping. I can go for the cheap hours once a week since raids are getting less frequent due to the time required. It's ok. With the right group I can get some tokens that eventually let me buy raid level gear. It's the slow way, but possibly the best way for me at this time.
School was pretty empty today. It may be we are nearing the weeks they are closed. I'll have to check that later.
Oh, there was an online ghost yesterday. I logged in, and there standing 10 virtual feet from me is someone I knew back in the day 4-5 years ago. It was like woah! He's not local anymore - he used to live somewhat close - but he's doing ok in life considering how many seem to be struggling.
Guess that's all for now.
My day is over. It's 10:45 and I'm having a bit of a snack. Things went differently than expected but not in a bad way. I didn't do any raiding, just a few regular shifts. Also, the people I was going to raid with didn't even show up, so I just grouped with someone I knew.
I don't think school will shut down for a bit. I checked online and some classes did end last week, but some go to the 20th, so that was likely the change.
A few more ghosts showed up on Facebook, so that's nice (knowing that I'm remembered and people want to add me.)
That's really it. Nothing terribly new. Oh, I added classes for Fall, which starts in late September, so I guess that's sort of new. More of the same small steps toward seemingly going nowhere though.
Day 406 - 8/11 - Being watched
I had quite the scare this morning. I was slowly woken up by the sound of a nearby idling car. When I was awake enough that all of my senses were working I realized that the car was behind me. I peeked over to verify distance and direction and I saw a poliece car. He was parked across the spots in an incorrect position for parking (across them at a 90 degree angle from their parking angle.) He had a clear and direct view of me out his driver side window. I ducked back down and quickly scooted over to the driver's seat, popped in my contacts, and drove off the lot. He didn't follow and he was just sitting in his car seemingly drinking coffee. But as I turned the corner nearly out of view of the church's lot I did see him peeking out to leave. (At that point in time he would have had no clue which of the 3 possible directions I'd gone.)
I susspect that since I left around 7:05 AM that possibly "Pianno Man" had called it in. I don't know if I've mentioned Pianno Man before, but he practices pianno at the church from 6-7 AM every weekday and has done so for a few months now. Usually I leave before he's done, but a few times now recently I've still been there past when he left. While you would have to walk within 10 feet of my car to see me - Pianno Man parks about 60' away - it's possible he walked to one of the structures they have near where I park. Since those are elevated one could more easily see down and in to the front of my car and see me. But, I am easily seen as a parked car (next to the small trailer the church has parked there (what I call 'the shield')) when you enter that section of the lot. So, he's seen me basically every day for months.
I suppose it's also possible that the camper owner called it in. Though, without permission from the church to be there I don't see how they would think it's ok for them to park there weeks at a time and not ok for me.
The past few days there have been lights on the outside of the buildings behind me that have been on that have been off in recent times, and last night it looked like someone was miving in to a place that has, I think, been empty lately. So, those are a possibility as well.
I suppose it's also entirely possible the police officer just randomly came in and chose that place to park to have his morning snack and angled himself at that direction in case he had to speed out of the lot.
Whatever the reason the spot seems compromized, so I'll go back to setting my alarm for the rediculously early 5:45 time instead of the nice 7:30 time I have been using lately. If it was Pianno Man or some other early morning passer-by that time should be fine. If not... I'll have to find another spot and sleepless nights could begin all over again.
Hopefully my spot isn't compromized and I can continue to stay there. I don't know if the camper being gone or still there would be a good sign or bad at this point. They can be seen from the street and it's possible the poliece were watching them (not me). The camper has been there for weeks now sticking out like a sore thumb.
In other news it's now just past 10:30 and a bit ago I discovered that, yes indeed, the library and cafeteria area are now closed until late September. I'll check the showers after a dumb work meeting I have to go to. (I have the day off save for a 1 hour meeting. How lame is that?) I'm sure the showers will remain open. If I recall correctly from last year swim and soccer continued during the time the other bits of campus were closed, so parking over there and showering should be fine. I suppose the wireless is still on, but I doubt there will be more than a few times I'd want to walk over and have said private Internet time.
That's all for now. All I can nom pizza and salad tonight. It's another nice summer day. I'm glad I have some online in-game friends to share it with and that I can at least do some gaming and web stuff now. (And during the closed campus time looking for jobs will be infinately easier than last year.) But still... I seem to be in the middle of yet another summer that I'm missing out on the real fun, as I have no friends, sweetie, or way to share my nicer things.
All I can eat dinner! I guess I missed out some tonight, as it runs from 5-8 but for some reason I was remembering that it starts at 6. Two hours is plenty, though I wish I had a sweetie or friends to share it with.
I think I ruined my shorts at the dumb meeting today. The grass was all freshly cut and wet and they had us sit on it. Now my shorts have grass stains, and without spray and a washing machine to immediately put them in they likely will remain stained.
Another fail week has come and gone. I guess I'm ok, but still there is seemingly no progress forward to recovery. People from my past are adding me on Facebook and wishing me well, I made a few new friends in-game, I probably easily passed the CBEST, I continue to check job boards that continue to be empty, and I signed up for next semester's classes. Are these steps forward? Is it progress? They seem like fairly insignificant steps towards recovery, but they are the only ones I know how to take.