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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 15: Digital life, dreaming of a real one

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 15 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 735

Day 5139 (V:863) - 7/27 - Claims

Today was fairly uneventful save for about the last hour at the library. I got word back from the person at the dead laptop company that they have heard very little but would still keep trying to see if they can get any lenience.

Since it seems unlikely at this point I did some more pondering. The equivalent of that model can now be gotten for about $850 new. So spending $750, ignoring the $1200 already spent, doesn't seem to make sense any more for 2-year-old tech. The CPU has gone up 2 generations, and the graphics one, which is about a 15-25% FPS increase on average. The lower end model Asus I'm looking at is currently $1288, while the model with a better screen and about 10% more FPS is a touch more at $1500.

I guess I'm still in a hold and wait and see pattern. If the person gets back to me and the RMA offer is about $500 or less I'll go for that. But if it's still around $750 I'll just dump the offer and sell the corpse.

I guess we'll see. It still seems like I won't be worse off than before. I hate to burn so much money when I was expecting it to last at least 4 years, possibly more, but it was basically a gift from the government. And now this next will be a gift from dad, with current tech, and the company I've been with and trust, and with an option to extend the coverage so this doesn't happen again.

So... I continue to wait and see what fate sends me.

Day 5140 (V:864) - 7/28 - Out of my hands now

Today I am pretty exhausted and pretty hungry. My eyes have been half closed most of the day. I couldn't sleep last night, and I probably lost about 40% of what I otherwise would have gotten.

In the afternoon I decided to go ahead and let dad know the two laptops I've been looking at. It seems very unlikely the person trying to help with the dead one will get a response, so I figured I'd let dad know the things to pick from. I told him the base level one, which would be a lot more powerful than my 9-year-old system I'm on now, The thing is that's a 'thin and light' one, so I'd be worried about temperatures in long sessions, as well as it's not great screen (less brightness and color) compared to the better one. So I also told him about the better one, which is kind of the best choice in terms of parts per dollar. While about $200 more, it is really only 15% more expensive, which is about the increase I'd see, not counting the better screen and cooling.

So I guess we'll see if he's still interested, and which he gets me. I sent an email replying about options and he never responded to that, nor the one I sent a couple of day ago, so I'm not sure what is up. They show next day delivery, so if he has that they could come very quickly. Though if to goes a week or more I may start to feel a bit worried. Granted we normally only talk 4-6 times a year, but with how pressing he was for info on what to get and seemingly being in a hurry, the sudden pause seems confusing.

Well, it's out of my hands now. He does or he doesn't. It comes fast or not. It's outside of my control, so all I can do is wait and try to stay hopeful.

Day 5141 (V:865) - 7/29 - Still no word

Today there is still no word from dad about the new system. I guess technically it's only been a bit over a day since I gave him the two links to the systems, but it's over one week since the email saying he wanted to hurry. So it still seems odd that he seemed to be in such a rush, yet hasn't responded. And there is still no news from the person in the dead laptop's company trying to help, so that seems like a dead end. I'm glad dad came forward otherwise that would have been heartbreaking.

I've been trying to set up classes for a while now. At first I hit this break of needing to re-apply, so that took a while. Now that they accepted it I found out I need to prove I've been vaccinated, and now that I submitted that they say that takes like 3 or more days to complete, so now I'm waiting on that. So I guess we'll see if it makes it in time to get the two I'm looking at. I'm honestly not super excited at the thought of going back. It's a ghost town there, barely the shattered remains of its former self.

I'm very tired. My brain shut off in the early afternoon, and my eyes kind of lost focus, so I kept not seeing what I was looking right at. Hopefully I can get some extra sleep, and be extra restful when I can. And hopefully I will get news of going through with a new system soon. I don't know how much longer my 9-year-old system can hang on.

Day 5142 (V:866) - 7/30 - Feeling weird

Today, and for a few days, I've been feeling weird. It started Wednesday night. Out of nowhere around 10 PM I had a sudden attack of congestion. My nose got fully stuffed up. I had quite a struggle getting it clear to breathe again. After that my nose and lungs have been pretty congested. I had a lot of sneezing, so I took decongestants and allergy pills Thursday and Friday. Yesterday and today I've had what feels like chill feeling skin, both on the outside and inside. But the chills aren't anywhere else. It also feels like I have a fever inside, but touching my forehead I don't really feel warm. It's a very odd feeling. Today I feel less chilly feeling and my sneezes have basically stopped. I still have a bit of a headache and ear ringing though.

There is still no response from dad. It was nearly two weeks ago he said he wanted to help and needed to hurry for some reason. I'm trying to stay hopeful and not get my hopes up at the same time. It's possible something happened and he can't do it. Well, what he does or doesn't do is out of my control. I guess I'll see eventually.

Hopefully I can feel better soon. And hopefully me and my very old laptop can hang on until then.

Day 5143 (V:867) - 7/31 - The one I want

Today I am very sleepy. I think my cold or whatever is wearing me out. I still feel a touch chillish and feverish, and maybe my forehead does feel a bit warm today, but I've only sneezed like three times total and my congestion isn't too bad.

I finally got word from dad on why he's been quiet. I guess he's gotten his monthly money early and so he's been doing bill things. One thing I didn't respond to, because it's so mindboggling, is he said he's getting worried his PC is "getting old" because it's 3 years old and he was worried it would 'fall apart soon' because he usually gets new systems every 3-4 years. I'm thinking 'what?' If he were the most hardcore gamer ever, which there's no way he could be, at most he would need to change graphics every 3-4 years, sure. But the core of the system, the cpu, ram, motherboard, that would last 5-6 years before they got really behind. I don't know, it seems super weird he'd think he'd need one so often.

But, he said he would get me monies for the online store I use to get a laptop soon. It sounds like he wants to do it this week, but I won't expect it until next week. That way if it is this week I'll be surprised. It does mean I can use that money, and a bit of my money, so I can get the better 'budget' system and the extra coverage so it's covered for 4 years. So no worry about it being right out of the 1 year base coverage and then dying like the last. I will be a bit worried until I sell the corpse and recover some money though, because I'm already very tight on bill money. I do have until October before the insurance starts up again, and early December until the big important bills, so there should be plenty of time.

I am a bit sad though, as this probably means any help he would send for my birthday, Thanksgiving, and Xmas, probably won't happen, making already very tight bills extremely worrisome, and any kind of new games impossible (though I have enough credit on my main game service to get one I want.) But I guess that's an ok trade. When things can happen my new system will be ready to run anything.

So I guess things feel a bit easier emotionally, but again I am back to waiting.

Day 5144 (V:868) - 8/1 - Raining

Today it's raining. Yesterday when I moved the car in the morning there was evidence of sprinkles. It's weird to see rain in summer. It's clearing a bit now, but the sky is still more gray than not.

I'm more sniffly and sneezy today, but the chilled feelings are almost gone. My throat is a bit rough feeling though.

No word from dad on the monies, but again I think that will happen next week, maybe later this week at the soonest.

For now I try to rest, recover, and hang on.

Day 5145 (V:869) - 8/2 - Hopeful

Today I am hopeful I can get the new laptop soon. Though also a bit sad since it will almost completely burn out all my money. It will absolutely take any thoughts of game money. In order to cover tax and 4-years of coverage I'll have to burn into bills savings, and pray that selling the dead laptop parts will recover that loss.

All I can do is continue to make the best decisions I can with the choices I have, and hope things work out in time.

Week 736

Day 5146 (V:870) - 8/3 - Tired

Today I am extremely tired. My brain again kind of shut off in the afternoon. Even though my symptoms didn't match to covid, I decided to do a home test, because with everything going on I was pretty worried. Unless I did it wrong I'm negative, which makes sense because the online symptom checker shows "common" matches for symptoms on cold or allergies, while only a few show as "have been reported" for covid, with most symptoms not matching at all.

Sadly there is no further word from dad. I was kind of hoping it would have happened by now, to maybe have it by the weekend, but I guess it doesn't really matter. And if it were to happen later that would be closer to my birthday on the 20th, so that would be fun.

I'm so very sleepy today, and so very hungry. But I try my best to hang on, and try to continue to hope the laptop doesn't take as much to get as I've estimated (after remember there may be tax and wanting the extra coverage.)

Day 5147 (V:871) - 8/4 - Still waiting

Today I am still waiting to hear from dad about the laptop money. Everything else is on hold until that happens since I don't know exactly how much will be left. I take it he is probably waiting on money too, since I haven't heard yet it seems that things are very unlikely to change until at least Monday.

In good news though I was reminded I've been saving my recycling money until I really needed it. I guess that had gotten up to $75, so that is a pretty big help for cushioning things.

It was super hot again today. My brain was melting and I was more asleep than not during the day (in terms of ability to focus.) But I guess it was a pretty ok day.

So I continue to wait, and hopefully I'll have good news soon, and can hang on until better days.

Day 5148 (V:872) - 8/5 - Still hot, still tired

Today it is still pretty hot. It's evening now and the temperature says it's like 75F, and while there is a nice breeze I'm borderline sweating, so it feels closer to 85F. I guess though overall the temperature is getting more reasonable very quickly.

I'm pretty tired though. The past few nights I had gotten some extra rest, but last night for some reason I couldn't sleep, and so I lost about 3 hours I could have slept.

I guess today was ok though. I felt a little less sad and played my MMO a bit more. My brain is getting a bit excited thinking of games I haven't been able to play since the new laptop death being a possibility again. I guess though that may still be a few weeks off if dad's money comes later in next week and it takes a while to ship. I guess it happens when it happens and I just have to wait. Without his offer it may still otherwise be years off, so this will be much sooner, even if it takes a few weeks to happen.

I guess, as always, today I hung on as best as I could, and I wait, and try to hang on until better days.

Day 5149 (V:873) - 8/6 - Slow Saturday

Today seemed kind of slow. I did my usual game playing, but overall the day just felt hot and long. No news from dad on the new laptop, so I continue to wait, and try my best to hang on.

Day 5150 (V:874) - 8/7 - Return of the strange pain

Today I am recovering from the same mystery pain I had about a month ago. It happened around the same time too. I was asleep, then at 3:30 in the morning *bam* mystery abdomen pain, followed by muscle pain, then my back muscles counter-straining, then fever and chill type feelings all over my body. I was in and out of that state about 3-4 times during the night. And just like last time, when it was time to get up and move the pain was mostly gone, replaced by what felt like extreme hunger, though eating or drinking didn't reduce the feeling.

Sadly though the feelings have not completely gone. I still have a bit of the chills and headache feeling, extreme exhaustion, and the other symptoms were exchanged for frequent sneezing and congestion. I am getting over the event pretty quickly, but it will probably be the better part of the week before I'm fully recovered.

I guess today was ok, but I felt very sick, and pretty sad. No news from dad, but I didn't really expect any. So I continue to wait for news, hope to getter soon, and try my best to hang on.

Day 5151 (V:875) - 8/8 - Still kind of sick

Today I still feel kind of sick. I'm not sneezing, but pretty congested, and my throat is pretty rough. No news from dad, so I guess that isn't happening soon.

I guess I just have to do my best to try and rest and wait for better days.

Day 5152 (V:876) - 8/9 - Hopefully ordering

Today I will hopefully be ordering my new system. It seems odd dad was in such a rush to help, and now it's been like a month since he first mentioned it. So I continue to wait, and try to stay hopeful.

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