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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 15: Digital life, dreaming of a real one

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 15 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 745

Day 5209 (V:933) - 10/5 - A mile in my shoes

Today it feels like I've walked a mile. For some reason, immediately after I got up my ankles started hurting. In a weird way too, as it's the front and sides. I have no clue why or what caused it.

I also had some more extreme tummy pain the other night, but I may have tracked down what caused it. It may be an odd food allergy. I was a bit hungry during the night, so I had some of my favorite cookies. They have a mixed box of chocolate chip, chocolate chocolate chip, and honey. I think maybe, and I'll probably forget, it looks like I may be allergic or super sensitive, to the honey ones. After eating only about 10 total cookies, so maybe 3-4 were honey, I started to feel that same kind of pain, gas, punched, starving feeling in my tummy. Thankfully I only had a few, and felt it pretty quickly, so it wasn't as bad as the other night, But, that may have been what triggered the mega pain about a week ago. I wish there were some way to test it though without eating more. I thought about finding some to put on my skin, but I don't think skin and food allergies would react the same.

I was right about the package shipping time too for my scratched laptop. My system did indeed arrive at the facility roughly 24 hours after I sent it. That means, if an absolute miracle happens I could have it back sometime next week, within my expected two week time.

Speaking of that, the old laptop is doing really rough. It is having a bit of a tough time connecting in the cafeteria. Both Monday and Tuesday it barely could connect, and my tablet next to me had no problem connecting, so I know it wasn't the signal.

In good news though I can keep up with my mmo and shooter dailies and not really miss out on anything while the new laptop is out to be fixed. I even downloaded the mmo I stopped playing to see if that could actually run at all, and to my surprise, at the lowest settings, it runs... ok-ish. And today I tested a dungeon, and while it ran a bit rough, it was ok enough that I can do them too. So that is great. The free expansion comes out on the 18th, so if my new laptop doesn't make it back to me before then I won't miss out on anything.

I seem well liked by the professors in my two classes too, so that's good. I noticed a lot of people out taking pictures today during the class break, and as I expected the photography professor I had was teaching that class. She actually recognized me and waved hi as I was walking over to her (though I was smiling, so she may have seen that.) She said hi and asked how I was doing, so that was nice.

I guess much to catch up on today, but overall being on my old laptop feels pretty rough. I do wonder if it's not too big though. Heh, on my new one it feels a touch too small, now things feel a touch too big. But classes seem good, I won't miss out on any game things, so I guess overall things are ok.

Day 5210 (V:934) - 10/6 - Too sleepy

Today I am too sleepy. I was expecting to do a bit of work on a project, but I couldn't sleep last night until about 3 for some unknown reason, so I barely got any sleep and I'm totally exhausted. My brain could only react, not truly function.

I guess I had a pretty good day, but the old laptop had quite the struggle. It was really rough connecting most of the day. My game and stuff I was watching probably lost connection at least three times an hour. Thankfully it wasn't running too slowly. It was just having trouble staying connected, so I could still do stuff at a somewhat normal speed. But at one point when I was just watching a stream it had that lockup again. And another time when playing. So it is really starting to show its age.

Sadly no news on my new laptop being fixed yet. It shows as waiting for repair, which isn't too surprising as the estimate for that was 7-10 days. So I could be looking at early next week start if that is an absolute minimum time. It should be a super easy and fast fix though since they are just changing the screen. There's really nothing to troubleshoot or diagnose, which is usually what takes the bulk of time on repair.

But outside of being exhausted, not getting to do the school stuff I thought I would, struggling with the connection, I guess today was pretty ok.

Day 5211 (V:935) - 10/7 - Maybe help next week

Today was pretty basic. An old friend came to visit. That was really it for the day. She wants to help with car stuff, so we are maybe going to visit her mechanic next weekend.

I have had a pretty big headache today. I'm not sure why. And I'm very tired. Sadly the new laptop still shows as waiting, so I'll stay hopeful for a return sometime next week, but at this point it seems unlikely.

As always all I can do is try to hang on.

Day 5212 (V:936) - 10/8 - Started ok, went kinda bad

Today is middling ok. It was pretty good when it started. I did my mmo dailies and that went fine. Then in the mmo I've maybe returned to I had a super quick dungeon run that took about 30 minutes to finish, but then the next dungeon I did took hours because the people kept failing.

My ankles still oddly hurt. And whatever caused my dry lips seems to be back. I'll have to remember to grab the stuff to put on them later. I did mostly finish an assignment that I have due soon, so that is on track.

I guess overall it was just an ok day, and so I try to continue to hang on.

Day 5213 (V:937) - 10/9 - Blinking light

Today and the past few days, the old laptop power/battery light has been blinking. But not all the time, just once I've started a game. I think it's because it's going to reduce the power to the battery, so it runs a check, and that's when it notices it's not charging right. It pretty much always shows 97% charge. So I think it's definitely an issue with the charging part on the laptop, not the battery. It will be fine if the battery does lose charge and eventually run out as long as it's plugged in, and it's just an emergency battery use, so it's fine. But it does make me concerned about the laptop's age and its death.

I guess other than that the day was ok. I was disappointed because the bandwidth was garbage, so I didn't get to do what I wanted in my games. But that did eventually push me out, and I did get to finish some school stuff I needed to do, so it worked out ok.

So a bit of worry about the old laptop today, and so I try to continue to be hopeful my new one returns soon.

Day 5214 (V:938) - 10/10 - Dreaming of love

Today is starting kind of sad. I mean, I'm hopeful class will go well and it should be pretty fun, but last night I had a very nice dream.

It's mostly faded now, but in the dream someone had said someone in a guild in a game I was in wanted to meet (in real life). She would take me to her, but she had to be isolated because she had a special condition. We went to some upstairs private room above like a bar? It was maybe 20x20 and had some tables and a couch and was very home like. The person was a bit younger than me, but she was a very beautiful blonde. She and I got along instantly, and started holding hands, and very quickly wound up snuggled in each other's arms across the small table. I felt very deeply in a mutually infatuated love. We stayed there talking just a little for what felt like an hour. The chaperone person asked if she was ok with me, and she was very ok with me, so the chaperone person left. We were alone and moved to the couch in front of the fire place and were snuggling. We were there for what felt like about another hour, and then a friend of hers appeared who she need to talk to. They talked a short distance away, but I still felt loved. But then panic started to set in as I noticed the recordings I was making on my tablet had disappeared. I realized in the dream that I was in a dream. I tried desperately to do things to give myself a sign to remember her after I woke up, like marking my hand with a fat blue paint maker. But the more I tried to get back to her, the more it slipped away.

At this point all I remember is her slightly wavy blonde hair and her smile. The feeling of love is gone. And I don't know if I'll ever be loved again.

Day 5215 (V:939) - 10/11 - Mystery Tuesday

Today I'm sure there will be fun things to do in class and hopefully an interesting homework. Other than that I don't know what to expect. I may visit the professor I chat with after class, but that will probably be it for my day. I'm still waiting for word on my new laptop being fixed and returned, and all I can do is hope it comes quickly.

Week 746

Day 5216 (V:940) - 10/12 - Curly fries

Today I was very hungry so I decided to use the last of the cash I had in my account to get some curly fries. They were super yummy, and about a dollar less than I remember. It's been years since I had them. I wish I had a bit of flexibility to get one cooked meal at least every other week there. That would be huge.

I lost a bunch of sleep last night. Probably about 40% of what I would have otherwise gotten. I don't really know why. That may be part of why I was so very hungry and got the fries.

Today was pretty fun in class and I got a tiny bit ahead. Though the morning was pretty rough as the old laptop kept lagging and I had to drop the group I was with and stopped playing. In the afternoon it was fine though.

I may have my new laptop back soon though. Today around 4 it started to show its status changed from waiting to diagnosing to being repaired. It still showed that about an hour later when I left, so I'm not sure if they will finish today. But if they finish tomorrow, and it gets packed and shipped tomorrow or Friday I should have it Friday or Saturday. If it's pushed to next week that would be pretty sad, as I wouldnt be able to immediately get it. I guess we'll see though. Hopefully the tracking shows more than just 'out for delivery' so I can wait outside for it once it's close.

But for now I still try to remain hopeful and continue to wait for better days.

Day 5217 (V:941) - 10/13 - Must be parts

Today is a bit sad. I noticed my laptop still is showing being repaired after 24 hours. Even when I checked late in the day it showed that. And I just noticed there is an "estimated repair date" showing the 19th. Another entire week to finish? I guess they must be waiting for a screen to be shipped to them. You'd think that would be the one they had most easily available in stock since it's used on the new models. So if that's correct it could still be 1.5 weeks before I get my new laptop back.

I don't think the friend will be helping with car stuff soon. Something came up this week, and with needing to wait for the laptop maybe next week, and Halloween the weekend after, we may not have an easy time to meet. She seems ok with waiting, but she also seems insistent on using her mechanic that's super far for me instead of one local that I could just take a bus to do all my normal things.

Well, as always, things are out of my hands and I just have to wait. I'll try to stay hopeful the laptop estimate is incorrect and it will be much sooner, but it seems unlikely to be soon.

Day 5218 (V:942) - 10/14 - So much lost time

Today I have been extremely sad about so much lost time. I checked my laptop status a few times, and around 1:30 the status changed to 'customer damage, not covered.' So I panicked and spent the next 2 hours in chat online with them about why it was refused, and why was my special coverage not covering it. The very short version is the special coverage is a onetime use thing (for damage caused by accident by the user, not a mechanical failure). I guess when the status was changed they were supposed to have sent me an email, but I guess I never got it, so the chat person had to re-send it. So I had to 'opt in' to that (otherwise the repair would have cost $350, or I'd have to just take it back.) But then it showed another 7 days after that to be repaired. And if that's the case I will have been out my new laptop for nearly a full month.

And to make things worse, in the time it took that person to answer my chat, I ran some research online and found out that scratches like that (which are just surface damage, not damage to the lights underneath) could probably be repaired by gently rubbing some petroleum jelly on it, which there are small $2 bottles at the store nearby. If I had known that when I scratched it I would have tried that instead of losing weeks with my new laptop. But even though it's a risk to use my special onetime coverage now, I decided to use it, since I want to be 100% sure it's reapaired. Plus, my old laptop is 9 years old and it has survived a few accidental spills and a drop, and the last one was years ago, so it seems unlikely that kind of damage would happen to my new one in the remaining 9 months the coverage would last.

So, a very stressful day. A very sad day. Lots of sadness that I probably didn't have to send it in for repairs at all. And now possibly another week or even two counting weekends before I finally get it back. A much rougher time hanging on today, but all I can do is continue to try to hang on.

Day 5219 (V:943) - 10/15 - Old laptop is too old

Today I was very happy to get in to a weekend test of the game I want to get that comes out in about a month. But as I expected, my old laptop is too old. It is, in fact, so old that it couldn't even start the game. It would just crash on launch.

My new laptop still shows as being repaired. I am a little worried about using the onetime special coverage, but this guarantees the screen will be fixed, and any damage I didn't see would not be a concern.

I guess I had a pretty good day though. I did my main mmo for a bit in the morning. Then just took a break for a bit watching stuff. Then got into a group that ran dungeons three times in a row in the mmo I'm casually returned to. It was nice advancement overall, but no new loot to speak of.

I'm pretty super tired. Last night, and I think the night before, I was woken up with pretty extreme tooth pain. I'm not sure if it's my lower right wisdom tooth or another. It feels undamaged by corruption, but it wiggles quite a bit from side to side. I have a very vague memory of another one of my wisdom teeth doing that a few years ago. Checking my top left one it's a bit wiggly too, though not as much. When I was very young the dentist wanted to remove a couple of perfectly good non-wisdom teeth so my jaw would have room. So losing them, if I do, probably isn't a big loss since my jaw is very small. It's probably what caused a lot of the damage though as I grew up, as they kept smashing into each other. But theeths will always be a very embarrassing and sad topic for me.

I guess other than that today was a pretty good day.

Day 5220 (V:944) - 10/16 - Tired day

Today I am pretty tired. I slept ok, but the tooth pain woke me up a couple of times last night. It's easily managed during the day with pain meds, but when I'm asleep those will wear off.

I guess besides being sleepy, today has been a pretty casual day. I got a special food for lunch, so that was different, but other than that it's been a pretty regular day.

The laptop still shows as being repaired with a 19th estimate. I really don't know why it's taking so long unless it's parts. Videos online show you can change a screen in about an hour if you have tools and know what to do. And again, I'm pretty miffed I found out recently I probably could have repaired the scratch on my own and not lost these weeks. It all still makes me feel like I'm being extra punished for having a bad life.

Day 5221 (V:945) - 10/17 - Another predicted Monday

Today Monday is being predicted. I've been working off of my new M.2 in an external housing since it's where my most recent site stuff is, and it's safer to not take it to school. Not for school reasons really, just that I may forget I have it with everything going on and it may get replaced, or smashed at the bottom of things, and that would be catastrophic.

Hopefully they finish repairs on the new laptop today. I'll update things if they do. But until then all I can do is wait.

Day 5222 (V:946) - 10/18 - Predicted Tuesday

Today I don't know what to expect. Hopefully I had fun in my Monday class and will today too. And if the new laptop hasn't been fixed and shipped yet, hopefully it will be today. Oh, I do guess the mmo I'm maybe returning to casually gets its new content today, so that should be fun, as long as it's not completely jammed up with people and the queue to get in is so long I can't get in.

But hopefully today will be ok. Hopefully I'll have my laptop back. And hopefully I can continue to hang on until better days.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008-2022
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)
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