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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 15: Digital life, dreaming of a real one

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 15 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 777

Day 5433 - 5/17 - Just strawberries

Today I still am not totally recovered. The symptoms are actually a bit weird at this point. The most noticeable is an overall muscle strain type feeling in my tummy area and mid and lower back. It really feels like I did 100 sit-ups and overstrained myself more than anything else. A small part is a general upset feeling. Not to the point of worrying me, more like my tummy is just being very picky about what it wants to eat. It is enjoying strawberries for dessert snack and breakfast, but almost anything else it has varying degrees of do not want. Like it wants no Pepsi at all, which seems the most strange going from an average of 3 a day. Today it was ok having all the micro lunch and dinner that I got to eat, which is a first. I have been throwing parts of various meals away because I just haven't been hungry enough lately, or my tummy changed its mind about it.

There really aren't other symptoms. I mean, sure, overall I still feel extra tired. But is that due to not having a caffeine drink in a week? Not eating as much as normal? Having crackers instead of normal sugary type night snacks for nearly a week? I can't say. Nausea may still be there a tiny bit, but again it more just feels like my tummy just isn't interested, or is slightly sore feeling. And there really hasn't been any fever, chills, or dizziness in the past couple of days. And today I am walking and generally moving at my normal pace. (Instead of very gingerly doing things due to extremely punched feelings.)

I wonder if tummy doesn't want Pepsi for something in it specially that causes it to get a bit upset, or if maybe this whole time it has been much worse for me than I thought, or both. If I completely stay away from it will my tummy be fine with cheese and chocolate again? I have had an odd extreme craving for pizza lately, but I really don't think it's worth the risk of a mystery pain episode, or worse since I'm still so recently recovered from the food poisoning.

I am slowly overall getting better. Though all of these changes lately do worry me and I may eventually need to go to the hospital and get tested for what is going on. It still does seem very strange and sad for my diet to take such extreme shifts lately.

Hopefully I can get better soon and go back to eating without too much worry.

Day 5434 - 5/18 - Ok day

Today things were almost normal. I did a shower in the morning. I skipped breakfast because my tummy still feels a bit in recovery. But I ate all of a big lunch, and a regular dinner, and things were ok. There was a bit of a punched feeling, but only very slightly. At this point it more feels like cramped stomach and back muscles, like I did 100 sit-ups and regret it.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be even more normal.

Day 5435 - 5/19 - Maybe smog tomorrow

Today I got up about 1.5 hours earlier than I otherwise would have to go do smog close to when the shop opened. Apparently somewhat recently they changed owners though. When I got there the place was empty, with only one mechanic sweeping outside. He said the fee is now $110 (double last time), with no free retest if it fails, I need an appointment, and I have to leave the car there all day. I set up an appointment for a week from now. Looking at the book as he turned the pages I saw only some days had them, and there were at most 2 per day. It's like, if the shop is empty now, and there are that few appointments, maybe the shop isn't worth coming to anymore. That's a sign they don't care about customers anymore.

So in the evening I checked for other possible spots close by, and there is one not too far from school. I don't know if it also charges more than people used to (their last mention online of a price was from 8 months ago), so we'll see. At the very least there are a dozen reviews in the last few months saying it was 30 minutes or less for them to get it done. None of this 'leave it all day and we'll do it when we feel like' B.S.

The rest of the day was ok, but not as expected either. Around 11 AM the Internet just died even though I showed a connection. It came back at about 2, died again at 3:10, came back at 3:45, died again, came back again, then I left. In total I was lucky to get half of the online time I expected. But I guess it was enough to do enough things in my games, so that is something.

I also ate pretty normally today. I did get a cinnamon roll for breakfast. And though lunch and dinner were a bit smaller, I was hungry and had them without issue. Last night I had nearly double what I expected of dessert cake and strawberries, so I think I'm returning to normal.

Though I did again have a taste of Pepsi, just four small swallows, and my tummy is still like, 'nope, I still want none of that.' So for whatever reason it still is one of the few things that slightly upsets my tummy, which seems very odd, but it's fine. I just worry because it's the only thing I drink with caffeine, and historically when trying to stop I've needed at least one a day or I get headaches and am really exhausted feeling. Though it has already been 1.5 weeks since I've had more than a few sips and I don't think I've had headaches, so maybe I'm over it.

I'm still paying attention to how I feel, both overall and specifically with touching or gentle poking on my tummy. I do seem to very slowly be getting better, so I'm feeling less worried as time goes on.

Day 5436 - 5/20 - No smog, yes trunk

Today was full of unexpected things. I suppose it started when I got up early to try to get to the possible new smog place before it opened. This first surprise was the most unexpected. I checked to see how my oil level was before going in to the food store, just in case I needed to get more before the smog, and I accidently pulled the trunk release instead of the hood. What the hell, it popped right open like nothing's been wrong. I closed it and did it again, and again. All 3 times the cable had normal tension and it worked normally. I may have made a mistake rearranging things back to the easy normal access because it's been feeling like there has been no tension in the line, and I suppose it could mysteriously fail again, but working three times in a row, and again after leaving the library, seems like I can trust it to work normally again. I have no clue how, or why, it righted itself after months of not working, but it makes me happy.

I did find the shop ok, and actually arrived about 10 minutes early. I was not only first, but the only cars around were ones left over from previous jobs. I thought, 'cool, I'll get in right away and still have plenty of time before the library opens.' Well, time passed and it should have opened. At 15 past when it should have been open it still wasn't open. A short while later someone came by, then left. At just over 30 minutes past when it should have opened, I called. There were 6 rings, and no answer. About 10 minutes later a second person showed up, and I said no one was around, and he told me he was there yesterday (Friday) around 4 and there were a bunch of people lined up because the machine had apparently broken and the guy told him to come back this morning. He left. I waited about 5 minutes then also left. I guess I'll try again Tuesday since it's right next to school. They are open Sunday, but if there was no sign or any notice Saturday, I have my doubts whatever needs fixing will have happened during the day.

I guess I had a pretty fun time in my MMO, but I kind of cut my time short because there is a timed event in my shooter and I'm trying to get to the point that I can finish by the end of the weekend. I played that for a bit and actually almost got to the goal today. I could have maybe completed it, but it was time to stop and watch shows, and I had plenty of time to finish Sunday.

So I guess today had some odd events; two good, and one neutral. My tummy feels pretty normal. And the stomach area muscles seem to be much closer to feeling normal as well. So maybe soon things will be back closer to normal for me.

Day 5437 - 5/21 - Feeling sad

Today I am feeling a bit sad. I'm not entirely sure why. I had a good day with extra play time in my MMO. And in my shooter I did get to the goal I'd been looking for with the special event.

I guess maybe it's just tummy things and all the diet changes lately. I've really been craving pizza lately, I think probably more for emotional needs than body needs, but I haven't really thought even a single serving slice would be worth the risk with all my tummy issues lately. And I think that makes me sad that I, at least for now, have to so carefully monitor diet and foods, and that it seems like a reminder this might be forever. This may be due to my getting older. This may be something I can never have ever again. Losing clear sight in my right eye. Losing certain foods. Even if it's temporary it feels like my hair and my ability to not be chubby; a thing that may be a permanent loss.

Day 5438 - 5/22 - Hopefully good Monday

Today will hopefully be a good Monday. I pretty much feel normal now. There were no weird tummy pains or feelings. And all the tummy and back muscles are almost totally normal again. So hopefully I can have fun in class. Hopefully I can eat foods that are normal and feel balanced. And hopefully I can continue to get better.

Day 5439 - 5/23 - New shooter season

Today I don't really know what to expect other than a new season starting in my shooter. Hopefully the day will be restful and I'll do normal school things. And hopefully I can continue to recover and get back to at least homeless normal.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008-2022
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)
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