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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 15: Digital life, dreaming of a real one

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 15 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 777

Day 5433 - 5/17 - Just strawberries

Today I still am not totally recovered. The symptoms are actually a bit weird at this point. The most noticeable is an overall muscle strain type feeling in my tummy area and mid and lower back. It really feels like I did 100 sit-ups and overstrained myself more than anything else. A small part is a general upset feeling. Not to the point of worrying me, more like my tummy is just being very picky about what it wants to eat. It is enjoying strawberries for dessert snack and breakfast, but almost anything else it has varying degrees of do not want. Like it wants no Pepsi at all, which seems the most strange going from an average of 3 a day. Today it was ok having all the micro lunch and dinner that I got to eat, which is a first. I have been throwing parts of various meals away because I just haven't been hungry enough lately, or my tummy changed its mind about it.

There really aren't other symptoms. I mean, sure, overall I still feel extra tired. But is that due to not having a caffeine drink in a week? Not eating as much as normal? Having crackers instead of normal sugary type night snacks for nearly a week? I can't say. Nausea may still be there a tiny bit, but again it more just feels like my tummy just isn't interested, or is slightly sore feeling. And there really hasn't been any fever, chills, or dizziness in the past couple of days. And today I am walking and generally moving at my normal pace. (Instead of very gingerly doing things due to extremely punched feelings.)

I wonder if tummy doesn't want Pepsi for something in it specially that causes it to get a bit upset, or if maybe this whole time it has been much worse for me than I thought, or both. If I completely stay away from it will my tummy be fine with cheese and chocolate again? I have had an odd extreme craving for pizza lately, but I really don't think it's worth the risk of a mystery pain episode, or worse since I'm still so recently recovered from the food poisoning.

I am slowly overall getting better. Though all of these changes lately do worry me and I may eventually need to go to the hospital and get tested for what is going on. It still does seem very strange and sad for my diet to take such extreme shifts lately.

Hopefully I can get better soon and go back to eating without too much worry.

Day 5434 - 5/18 - Ok day

Today things were almost normal. I did a shower in the morning. I skipped breakfast because my tummy still feels a bit in recovery. But I ate all of a big lunch, and a regular dinner, and things were ok. There was a bit of a punched feeling, but only very slightly. At this point it more feels like cramped stomach and back muscles, like I did 100 sit-ups and regret it.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be even more normal.

Day 5435 - 5/19 - Maybe smog tomorrow

Today I got up about 1.5 hours earlier than I otherwise would have to go do smog close to when the shop opened. Apparently somewhat recently they changed owners though. When I got there the place was empty, with only one mechanic sweeping outside. He said the fee is now $110 (double last time), with no free retest if it fails, I need an appointment, and I have to leave the car there all day. I set up an appointment for a week from now. Looking at the book as he turned the pages I saw only some days had them, and there were at most 2 per day. It's like, if the shop is empty now, and there are that few appointments, maybe the shop isn't worth coming to anymore. That's a sign they don't care about customers anymore.

So in the evening I checked for other possible spots close by, and there is one not too far from school. I don't know if it also charges more than people used to (their last mention online of a price was from 8 months ago), so we'll see. At the very least there are a dozen reviews in the last few months saying it was 30 minutes or less for them to get it done. None of this 'leave it all day and we'll do it when we feel like' B.S.

The rest of the day was ok, but not as expected either. Around 11 AM the Internet just died even though I showed a connection. It came back at about 2, died again at 3:10, came back at 3:45, died again, came back again, then I left. In total I was lucky to get half of the online time I expected. But I guess it was enough to do enough things in my games, so that is something.

I also ate pretty normally today. I did get a cinnamon roll for breakfast. And though lunch and dinner were a bit smaller, I was hungry and had them without issue. Last night I had nearly double what I expected of dessert cake and strawberries, so I think I'm returning to normal.

Though I did again have a taste of Pepsi, just four small swallows, and my tummy is still like, 'nope, I still want none of that.' So for whatever reason it still is one of the few things that slightly upsets my tummy, which seems very odd, but it's fine. I just worry because it's the only thing I drink with caffeine, and historically when trying to stop I've needed at least one a day or I get headaches and am really exhausted feeling. Though it has already been 1.5 weeks since I've had more than a few sips and I don't think I've had headaches, so maybe I'm over it.

I'm still paying attention to how I feel, both overall and specifically with touching or gentle poking on my tummy. I do seem to very slowly be getting better, so I'm feeling less worried as time goes on.

Day 5436 - 5/20 - No smog, yes trunk

Today was full of unexpected things. I suppose it started when I got up early to try to get to the possible new smog place before it opened. This first surprise was the most unexpected. I checked to see how my oil level was before going in to the food store, just in case I needed to get more before the smog, and I accidently pulled the trunk release instead of the hood. What the hell, it popped right open like nothing's been wrong. I closed it and did it again, and again. All 3 times the cable had normal tension and it worked normally. I may have made a mistake rearranging things back to the easy normal access because it's been feeling like there has been no tension in the line, and I suppose it could mysteriously fail again, but working three times in a row, and again after leaving the library, seems like I can trust it to work normally again. I have no clue how, or why, it righted itself after months of not working, but it makes me happy.

I did find the shop ok, and actually arrived about 10 minutes early. I was not only first, but the only cars around were ones left over from previous jobs. I thought, 'cool, I'll get in right away and still have plenty of time before the library opens.' Well, time passed and it should have opened. At 15 past when it should have been open it still wasn't open. A short while later someone came by, then left. At just over 30 minutes past when it should have opened, I called. There were 6 rings, and no answer. About 10 minutes later a second person showed up, and I said no one was around, and he told me he was there yesterday (Friday) around 4 and there were a bunch of people lined up because the machine had apparently broken and the guy told him to come back this morning. He left. I waited about 5 minutes then also left. I guess I'll try again Tuesday since it's right next to school. They are open Sunday, but if there was no sign or any notice Saturday, I have my doubts whatever needs fixing will have happened during the day.

I guess I had a pretty fun time in my MMO, but I kind of cut my time short because there is a timed event in my shooter and I'm trying to get to the point that I can finish by the end of the weekend. I played that for a bit and actually almost got to the goal today. I could have maybe completed it, but it was time to stop and watch shows, and I had plenty of time to finish Sunday.

So I guess today had some odd events; two good, and one neutral. My tummy feels pretty normal. And the stomach area muscles seem to be much closer to feeling normal as well. So maybe soon things will be back closer to normal for me.

Day 5437 - 5/21 - Feeling sad

Today I am feeling a bit sad. I'm not entirely sure why. I had a good day with extra play time in my MMO. And in my shooter I did get to the goal I'd been looking for with the special event.

I guess maybe it's just tummy things and all the diet changes lately. I've really been craving pizza lately, I think probably more for emotional needs than body needs, but I haven't really thought even a single serving slice would be worth the risk with all my tummy issues lately. And I think that makes me sad that I, at least for now, have to so carefully monitor diet and foods, and that it seems like a reminder this might be forever. This may be due to my getting older. This may be something I can never have ever again. Losing clear sight in my right eye. Losing certain foods. Even if it's temporary it feels like my hair and my ability to not be chubby; a thing that may be a permanent loss.

Day 5438 - 5/22 - Hopefully good Monday

Today will hopefully be a good Monday. I pretty much feel normal now. There were no weird tummy pains or feelings. And all the tummy and back muscles are almost totally normal again. So hopefully I can have fun in class. Hopefully I can eat foods that are normal and feel balanced. And hopefully I can continue to get better.

Day 5439 - 5/23 - New shooter season

Today I don't really know what to expect other than a new season starting in my shooter. Hopefully the day will be restful and I'll do normal school things. And hopefully I can continue to recover and get back to at least homeless normal.

Week 778

Day 5440 - 5/24 - Probably have a cold

Today I probably have a cold. I don't really feel bad, but I'm sneezing maybe 2-3 times an hour and my throat and lungs feel congested. I suppose it could be allergies too. I also feel very super tired.

I decided to do my Thursday class stuff this morning since I was in a tired/neutral mood. So now I'm done with all the things for the long weekend and can just relax. Assuming my smog goes fine. I'll check that in the morning. I tried Tuesday, but the machine was still broken.

Overall today was a pretty good day I suppose. I'm very tired, and a bit hungry. My tummy still strangely isn't very happy with Pepsi. I have had about 0.5-1 the past few days and it's like part of it is digested fine, but something remains and just feels a bit like lumpy mud sometimes. I guess I don't have to drink it anymore, but I have a ton that I got on sale before I got food poisoned and it would be a shame to just dump it. Plus I still worry that I used to have about 3 a day, and so going down to none of that caffeine seems odd.

Day 5441 - 5/25 - Apparently forgot

Today right before I left school for the night someone emailed and asked where my sad story for the week was. Normally I write myself a note in email when I'm offline the night before and move it to my inbox so I see it in the morning. But last weekend there was a shift of email type and my email program I was using doesn't support the new format, so I can't use that anymore. The new one I did finally get set up doesn't seem to work offline, which is really annoying.

It's weird because I remember thinking about it. I guess in the time between my getting to school and when I'd finally settled in, I just forgot to do it. I guess I'm getting older and my brain is getting more wobbly. Just this morning when I was playing my MMO I thought of something, so I tabbed out, and apparently I completely forgot I was playing. I must have been tabbed and doing other things for at least 10 minutes before I remembered.

It was nice that the one person said they were worried about me and checked in, but it was sad that I didn't hear from any others, or didn't hear sooner.

I guess it was a pretty ok day though. The day did start with wasting time though. I tried the smog again. I got there about 10 minutes after it opened and there were two others already waiting. I waited about 30 minutes, and at that point I was like, well, with the time it would take them to do the other 2 people, plus me, plus it's now 9:10 and they aren't even here yet, I wouldn't be done until after 10. So I didn't want to keep waiting. Hopefully they will be there tomorrow and it will be ok. If not that would be Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday, and then Friday that it didn't get done. I guess I'd try again Monday if it doesn't happen tomorrow, as everything is closed and I really have nothing else to do.

I guess I had fun with my games. They were fun for sure, but I'm still pretty exhausted feeling from the allergies or cold or whatever it is. Plus all this getting up a bit extra for smog doesn't help.

I guess today was a pretty ok day, but I hope tomorrow goes smoothly with smog and maybe I can feel a bit less tired.

Day 5442 - 5/26 - Finally smog

Today I have finally done the smog, and with that paid the registration with plenty of time before it's due. It wasn't easy or quick like it should have been, especially if we count the days he wasn't there or the machine was broken. Or that my car was sitting there, apparently doing nothing, for like 45 minutes just running while he's like, 'oh the machine has to recalibrate', and helping other people. But it doesn't matter now. It's passed. It's paid. It's done. I don't have to worry for at least 2 more years.

I guess my day was pretty ok other than that. I had to cut my morning MMO time a bit short due to that putting me behind, but also because there was a streamed show I wanted to watch, which was new and different and super fun. I had fun in my shooter for a bit after. And watched some shows after that.

I had one Pepsi today, without any real issue. I had a clear drink too. Weirdly my tummy doesn't seem to get as thirsty as it did before the recent food poisoning. I'm probably only drinking half what I did before that. Maybe it's because I'm sometimes having water, but overall it still feels like I'm drinking less, and I don't feel like I need more. All my symptoms and pains are gone. So things seem totally back to normal. Hopefully I can avoid the mystery tummy pain and recover whatever has been lost.

So today turned out pretty good, and hopefully tomorrow will have less worry and be even better.

Day 5443 - 5/27 - Celebration dinner

Today I decided to get a celebration dinner for passing smog. It's not so much to celebrate that as it is the removal of all the stress that brings. Every time I go and wait for that I feel like I'm going to throw up from all the extra stress (of the thought of not passing.) So having passed is a huge relief and I don't have to worry about that for about 2 years.

I had a pretty good day. I slept a bit extra. I played my games. I did some dungeons with guildies, so that was fun. And I watched a few shows. The day was pretty calm and restful too. There weren't too many people sitting close, and no one seemed sick. Though I was chilly most of the day and sneezed a few times, so I still have my allergies or cold going on.

Hopefully tonight I can get some extra rest and continue to get better and recover.

Day 5444 - 5/28 - Sleepy day

Today was a sleepy day. I lost a couple of hours of sleep last night. I'm not sure why, but I just had a hard time getting to sleep. I guess it was a pretty good day though. I had fun in my MMO. I did a special thing in my shooter. (Though it took way too long. I had no idea it would take 3+ hours.)

There weren't too many people around me, and it was a super quiet and restful day, which is good for how sleepy I am.

Day 5445 - 5/29 - Outside Monday

Today I will have to be outside. It will feel pretty sad, I'm sure. It will certainly be different to not have class, even tomorrow too since that will be the start of my week.

It was very gray and cold Sunday, so maybe today will be the same, which is actually better for an outside day as it's easier since I don't have to worry about the sun or heat.

I'm sure it will be weird to be outside for a day. It feels like it's been months, but I know I was out on bunny day, which was barely a month ago.

Hopefully the day won't be too bad and I can hang on ok.

Day 5446 - 5/30 - Week start Tuesday

Today will be a strange start to the week with it being Tuesday and showering and it being my first day there this week. I guess there isn't much to expect save for my class things probably getting posted around noon.

Hopefully the day will be fairly calm and restful and I can have a good shower and micro foods and be fairly restful.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008-2022
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)
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