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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer
Book 15: Digital life, dreaming of a real one

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 1 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 2 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 3 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 4 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 5 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 6 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 7 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 8 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 9 .pdf paperback book, View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 10 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 11 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 12 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 13 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 14 .pdf paperback book
View/Download the Complete Epic Fail Book 15 .pdf paperback book
These include the Table of Contents, Glossary and links, all weeks, all pictures, and index.

Week 767

Day 5363 - 3/8 - Extremely tired

Today I am extremely tired. Lately I've been extra hungry as well. I'm not sure why I feel either of those. Half of the nights during the past week I've woken up early, and had very restful sleep, so I assume I got enough. (Save for that one night I only slept 5-6 hours total.) And because I ran out of clear drink a few days ago I've mostly returned to my normal amount of brown drinks during the day and one clear drink overnight (which I often don't drink all of.)

The experiment seems to confirm I have a chocolate "sensitivity." Looking it up online, not an allergy, it matches my symptoms. I guess food "allergies" all qualify under that deadly category with extreme and almost immediate reactions. I did sneak a chocolate doughnut the other day to see if I had any reaction and I was fine. So I would guess it was the near constant daily dose over who knows how long lately that has been doing me in. I haven't seen a lot of change with my tummy and G.E.R.D. symptoms overall, but I have slept very deeply, and I can be on my right side at night much more often. My throat still feels pretty closed up, but that may take a while to settle. So definitely the next week, possibly forever, I'm trying to limit myself to one chocolate thing, maybe two, per week and that's it. I'm fine with it so far. I don't really miss it, but it does limit my snack options, particularly night snacks.

I guess that was really it lately. I did get a super nice donation from someone, but outside of that everything has been pretty regular. And so I continue to try to hang on.

Day 5364 - 3/9 - Adding a cheese ban

Today I was mostly recovering from the extreme mystery pain. And I had no chocolate, so either that is not as big of a factor, or cheese is a much greater threat to me now. I guess I wasn't paying attention and had a micro lasagna for lunch, then there was a meeting in the big conference room that had a bunch of left over pizza, so I got a free big pizza slice. And then, again right around probably 3 in the morning, the mystery pain hit me pretty hard. And if I remember right it got me a week ago, which was also a day I think I got an extra snack pizza slice at school. So at least for now, I'm adding cheese to my list of banned foods. And if I do have any it will have the same limitations I've put on chocolate of just a little, not two days in a row, and only once or twice a week.

I guess once my pains started to settle down things were mostly ok. I played a bit, and watched several shows.

Weirdly, probably due to partly being rainy all day, nearly everyone was gone by about 3:30. There were only a few others nearby me. Though someone was playing the piano, so it was still pretty loud. It felt weirdly sad. I would guess that was either just my own recent sad things or due to the piano music setting a mood.

But overall today was pretty ok. Hopefully I am a step closer to not having the mystery tummy pain anymore, and hopefully I can continue to hang on.

Day 5365 - 3/10 - Did not connect

Today was a pretty terrible connection at the library. I totally forgot it had been garbage until I started walking up to the library. My tablet took 3 minutes to connect, and then it was fine until I disconnected in the afternoon (then wouldn't go back on.) But my laptop never connected to the library from my regular spot. I suffered along with barely a connection to the outside connection for the first 1.5 hours, of which I barely got about 15 minutes of use, then I thought to carry my system to a different part of the library to connect.

I guess the day was tolerable other than that. I only did basic things in my games. And though there were many interruptions I got through a couple of shows. Unexpectedly I guess dad sent some Saint Patty's day money, so that was a total surprise. I guess I hung on ok. And I continue to try my best to hang on until better days.

Day 5366 - 3/11 - The long connection

Today was pretty good. When I couldn't connect from my regular spot I immediately walked half way through the library to connect, then walked back. I got very nervous walking around with my laptop in my hands, but the connection kind of refuses to work at my regular spot lately. It hung on just fine until around 4, then it didn't work again. I played my usual games and watched a few shows. Hopefully they will fix the connection soon. Though with how it's gone bad a few times a year for a few weeks at a time and they've never changed it, that seems unlikely.

There was an unexpected comment to a comment I made for a class. I made a reference to an old TV show that was popular in probably the early 90s and someone responded about the old rabbit ear antennas. Since it's an online class I have no idea how old people are. It's I guess comforting to know I'm not the only 'older one' there. The professor leaves like 2 days for those to be posted and commented on, then it locks it and people can't respond. That's not really enough time to respond or comment, especially since he's giving no information about the theory. I really think I'd have learned more about color theory, both from the scientific side and the psychological side, if I had just spent a few hours watching videos online. Well, I guess it's a pretty easy class, which is needed for the degree, so I guess that will be an easy pass.

I guess I hung on ok today, and try to continue on to better days.

Day 5367 - 3/12 - Still bad connection

Today the connection at the library was still weird. I did not try to fuss though and immediately walked half way across the library to connect. That lasted, weirdly, right until about the exact same time as it died in the afternoon both Friday and Saturday. So it was a fine connection, but it's still weird the routers are being like that.

I was actually starting to have a bad day. I decided to try for a special thing in my shooter (since I did all the other things to progress this week so far), but after more than an hour stuck repeatedly dying to a boss half way through the thing I had to go to a place and ask for help. Thankfully a person said they would, and it wasn't too tough for us to finish pretty quickly. And they got the special thing too, so that was good.

I guess it was a pretty regular day other than that, not counting the time change which has shifted the light by an hour, which is pretty weird. But I guess I held on ok.

Day 5368 - 3/13 - Probably rainy Monday

Today it will be pretty rainy. It's been raining for a few days now. It actually stopped for a day and I thought we'd start seeing warmer weather, but it started raining again. I don't know what to expect for today. I don't have much to do other than one small project. I may start another that isn't due for a few weeks if I don't forget and I'm not too tired.

Day 5369 - 3/14 - Probably regular Tuesday

Today I expect will be a regular Tuesday, with regular class things being posted for the week for the one class. I don't expect anything different or strange. And so hopefully I can continue to hang on.

Week 768

Day 5370 - 3/15 - Whacky outage

Today is another day with a whacky power outage. The school went out Tuesday during the most windy and rainy storm ever. There was one point I was walking and it nearly completely stopped me from walking forward even though I was fully leaning into it. Today they announced they are staying closed through the rest of the week. When I went to check the public library, it too was closed. I checked the public library this morning and despite the site saying they were going to be open, they seemed like they had no power. Later in the day the website showed they would be closed all day. I hope they are open tomorrow and the connection is regular, so things can be back to normal for me.

I guess Tuesday wasn't all bad though. I lost a couple of hours due to waiting for the power to come back on and then moving around. When I discovered my local library was closed, I went to the next closest one. It's actually one I used to go to before I started going to the closer one. It was ok, but then the internet went out after a few hours. Today it was a bit more crowded there with some places (in my regular area) being closed, but the connection held on. I guess basically it was a regular day for me, just at a different library.

Not much else going on, just a weirdness due to the storm which basically seems to be over, and now I just need to wait for things to reopen and settle back to normal.

Day 5371 - 3/16 - Fun day

Today was a pretty fun day. There is a test this weekend for a game that I will probably be getting in 3 months, so I get to be sure I want to get it, as well as getting a pretty good peek at what I may like to play when it does.

I got to watch a few shows, and things were calm and quiet around me, but I was pretty cold. I had stuff with cheese, but so far my special pills seem to have helped. I'll know for sure tomorrow if I had a pain during the night or not.

Today was a little easier to hang on, though it was still at the different library, but that was something.

Day 5372 - 3/17 - Regular day

Today really nothing special happened. Things were back on at my regular library, so things were just a normal day. I thought about bringing a painting project I wanted to do last week, but I thought since it was kind of involved that would be too weird. I can do it next week at school and that should be fine. It's not due until Wednesday. (And even then I think that's only 'partly done' due.)

Day 5373 - 3/18 - Famous passing

Today was pretty sad. I got a bit of extra sleep, so that was nice. I played my game test and got to do a special event. And I watched a new show that seemed like it could be interesting.

There was sad news of a famous actor passing. He is the voice of an important regular character in my shooter, so that will be very strange hearing him fairly regularly knowing the actor is gone. They don't know the cause last I checked, but he was only, I think, 60, which is just a little older than me. So now I am again worried wondering how I can have my remaining 35 years if someone who was in assumedly good health, living in a home eating good food, had friends and family who cared for him, and passed from natural unknown causes.

Well, I have what I have and can only try my best that I can to continue to hang on until better days.

Day 5374 - 3/19 - Regular day

Today was a pretty regular day. The only thing different was that I got to sleep in a bit, and I got to play a bit more in the test. So I checked out a different class, and some different build options with the class I will probably play at launch. I'll watch some shows in a bit too. And it has been heavily raining off and on. It seems maybe the rain is returning, which it's been pretty dry since the crazy storm on Tuesday.

I hung on ok, though I still feel very sad about many things.

Day 5375 - 3/20 - Unknown Monday

Today will hopefully be a regular Monday. With having not been on campus for basically a week things may be weird. I don't expect any destruction or anything, but there may be some weirdness. I have the big painting project to do, so hopefully I can finish that quick enough and hang on ok.

Day 5376 - 3/21 - Hopefully back to normal

Today hopefully things will fully be back to normal. Hopefully there won't be too terrible rain. Hopefully I can finish or be done with the painting. And hopefully school things will feel all normal again. As I'm writing this it feels longer than just a few days that things were closed at school. And hopefully I finally can be caught up on sleep from the time change.

Hopefully the week closes out ok, and things feel normal again.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008-2022
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)
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