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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

Day 71 - 9/10 - Gray skies above

Not much to report yet. It's early morning time in the summer school spot, 8:45.

People boggle my mind sometimes. This girl pulls in with a totally brand new car. So new it doesn't have the license yet. It's one of those larger sporty/muscle types. She pulls into a compact spot. She is so completely not a compact car. She's got her ass sticking a good three feet behind the lines. She gets out, actually pauses to look at how she parked, then walks away. It's like zomg you are just asking for your brand new car to get busted up.

Classes must have changed. The morning people are different from before the holiday. There is a new totally attractive super cute hawt redhead. I'm waiting to see if I see her when she comes back to get a second peep. I think the class doesn't get out till after 10 though. Library opens then, so I'd have to wait till tomorrow if I don't see her. I don't want to be scary with a note. Secret admirers can be exciting but scary for a girl at the same time, ya know. Better to be sure I want to leave a note before leaving one. I'd just bounce up to her and say hi and give her a rose and stuff if I had a class with her, but just seeing her in the parking lot... my flirting lebel is too low to have any special moves there.

Gray skies again. Totally looks like it's going to rain. Maybe not storm, but certainly very threatening looking. It's cleared up a touch since I vacated the sleeping spot at 6:45, but not by much. I figure it's ok to go there after 10:30 most weekdays with school on. From 10:30 PM to 6:45 AM seems totally safe and I can get about 7 hours of decent car sleep. Reasonable amount of dreaming last night. None the night before with the odd zero time night.

Time passes

Oh noes! I missed seeing the redhead. I guess when I was showering she left. Fate playing my hand again.

I can has lunch! I have like $0.85 and last night I was sad, as that's like $0.12 short for lunch, but this morning I remembered I'm so poor I've been saving my Pepsi cans. I have way more than that in redemption (which is on the same lot I'd have lunch at) so yeeeaaa.

Time passes

Zomg. I missed getting $10! But, I'm getting ahead of myself. There were like three or four people who needed help on the boards. Big huge massive post kind of help. I had dropped like 1.5 hours of the 2 hours I have in the morning helping and I didn't get to them all. On my way to lunch I realized the can redemption place is closed on Wednesdays and Thursdays. So, no lunch for me. I decided to bounce up to the evening library 5 hours early to finish helping, 'cause that's how teh rabb1t rollz. On the way I spot a redemption center. Woot! I can has lunch. (Though I decided to just hold the lunch money and have extra with dinner.) So, I can turn in the cans, but I have to go in to the store to get the monies. I'm walking up around to one isle, woops wrong one, turn down to go around to the correct one, and the cashier is like, 'Hey, look, I found $10.' Wtf?! I was just back where he was 10 seconds earlier. His manager is like, "Put it in your till. Now you are over. In about three weeks, if no one claims it, you get to keep it." So, zomg I missed out. Upon reflection though... he did say if it were "unclaimed"... maybe this evening, when the shift changes I should pretend to be the person who lost it. Zomg that would be so bad. I do only have $2 for food though and maybe 1/2 gallon of gas, and was there right before him... I'd have guilt though. *sigh* I are too honest a peep sometimes.

No jobs in the morning check really, and zero replies. There was one decent looking research assistant position, but it was part time, 20 hours a week, in an unstated location within about a 5 mile radius and unstated pay level. Stable time slot though, 8-12. Good for a part time job as that would allow me to get a part time afternoon job. And, as always, in the mean time, even at just $10 an hour that wouldn't allow me to move in anywhere, but it would be plenty to stabilize me for non-house bills.

Anyways... waiting... it commences. Four hours till I go back in for the rest of my library time.

Time passes

Decided to try the steak soft taco fresco style since I had a bit more to spend. Pretty yummy for cheap nom. My tummy really wanted Popeyes, but the only way I could get that would be to use my card and hope the charge didn't go through till after I get paid in the morning. There is a 99% chance that would be safe, but I decided to just save that for Thursday night after I get paid. I could really use the morale boost, plus someone showed interest in the gift card. Nomming the last of the Animal Crackers now. Only five and some broken fragments, but it's all there are.

Lots of helping on the boards again. No jobs since this morning. That's really about it. That and I keep getting highlighter on my hand from marking the terms to index, heh. It's ok, as it will help me find them when/if I need to change the reference type (capital, italics and capital, underline, etc.) I still don't know what gets referenced how. I always had to look that up, heh. I'm guessing they are capital, but they may have " for some titles or italics for product names, bleh. That's a step to worry about later. I normally do that as my final writing steps of the first draft. Of course, I never expected this to get so long.

Dearest Betty,

Tonight is silent, save for the groans of those who are wounded and the stomachs of those who haven't gotten enough to eat due to lack of supplies. The tanks have rolled on ahead. Far off in the distance I can see only the faintest of light from the muzzle flair. My platoon has hung back to tend the wounded. I fear this war may never end. Night draws upon us. The pink of the sky dwindles to be replaced by the gray of night, a gray that persists due to the smoldering debris nearby. Eventually it may fade as the battle moves on, leaving us behind long forgotten in these dank trenches. Some of the men are so hungry they are eating the worms. Well, I recon it's better that way than if the worms were eating them. Hopefully all is well on the homestead and I'll be back in your arms soon.

Day 72 - 9/11 - Oldz / Remembrance

All my parts are clean and shaved. Need to get some new razor parts though. The ones I have are super worn out. There is one super huge major drawback to the school public showers - the old dudes. I mean like 65+ kind of old. It wouldn't be so bad to see young mister handsome in there. That would be like, 'woops, neked' *hide eyes*, but no. Like this morning there was this huge Russian Bear bare and it was all like...
Bare Russian Bear casts Fear
Bare Russian Bear casts Blind

"Ack! My eyes!"

I saw old momz on the way in to the shower area. (Out by the door. Not, you know, near the shower.) Apparently she successfully camped two different store chains last week standing in three different lines to get her (grown) kids Wii Fit. Heh, grats old momz and grats Nintendo for creating a product that not only all kinds of gamers enjoy, but people like her who are retired and who would not normally game not only like it, but love it so much she camped lines to get it for her three grown kids. Wow! It boggles the mind how huge that is. Maybe some day this journal will be referenced by gamers as early gamer literature to show how gaming went from a few crazy male kids in the 70s to move into the living room and pull in girls as well during the late 80s and 90s, to the truly mainstream and breaking out of the typical cult following it had to reach really everyone during the early 2000s. Of course, I haven't really done any historical documentation or referencing, just observations of the past and present, so I suppose it will never be much more than a pop culture reference journal of the times.

While I'm thinking about when I'm gone I guess I will officially give y ou permission to post Epic Fail (the .pdf version) wherever you like. (As long as you have permission to post it there from the owner of wherever that is.) That way when I'm gone it will still be out there. Though do make reference to the original site, so peeps can check if it's the most current version. Some of my writing I don't mind being gone when I pass. Like the rabb1t site would become quite a bit outdated in 6 months to a year, so that info could easily poof when my Intarweb subscription went unpaid. But my poetry and stories, hum. It might be nice to think those would last beyond the Intarweb subscription. There are already a few printed copies out there (like less than half a dozen) in book form. (Though I don't know if said copies still exist outside of the ones I have.) Certainly any copies people have printed off teh Intarweb form, but no actual e-publication as this is. I may want/need to make one (for my poetry and other writing).

Hopefully my money will have already flipped. I'm screwed if not. I already had to put gas in my car. It was running on empty on the way in. Never seen the needle flat line before today.

Gonna be bad and get chips, one of those family sized mixed bags, Pepsi, and some Animal Crackers. That's gonna be like nearly $20 on it's own. Foods are so expensive sometimes. Maybe as it gets colder I can get lunchmeat or juice and store that ok.

Library is nearly open. Hopefully I can flip this Macys card soon. Nearing the weekend though. Things look sad for job prospects this week.

Time passes

Kind of overspent on foods. I got two bags of Lays 'cause it was on sale for 2-for-1 (instead of the family mixed pack of like singles) and five Pepsi 12-packs, 'cause they were on sale for 5-for-2. *sigh* I do need snacks though, and on less than 2 Pepsis a day I do go kinda funny in the head, heh.

Monies came in, obviously, so I'm good to go. Well, as good as that measly income gets. Things will hopefully be ok.

Got a lead on a job from a former professor, so that could be good. I don't think I'll be qualified tough, we'll see. Emailed the guy asking for more infoz. Only one other application to send out this morning, lame.

I saw the gamer grrrl checker at the old Safeway, hehe. I found out she was a gamer a while ago when she looked super tired one day. I was like, "You look super tired." And she's like, 'Yeah. I stayed up all night playing an online game.' And I'm like hehe and she told me how she stayed up all night raiding with her boyfriend and guild, didn't get to bed till 6, hehe. Anyways, she's super pregnant. I guess about to have a lil gamer baby.

Going to head off to the ex-house in a bit to drop the extra Pepsi into storage. Hopefully I can vacuum out my car. Later tonight I'll go up for laundry and hopefully catch Burn Notice live on TV. That way I won't eat up computer time. Today is 9/11, a sad day. I wrote something back in the day. I'll copy it here for those who haven't looked at my other site.


Someone lost a child.
Someone lost a parent.
Someone lost a wife.
Someone lost a husband.
Someone lost a partner.
Someone lost a lover.
Someone lost a friend.
Someone lost a fiancé, a marriage yet to come.
Someone lost their life, yet unborn and unlived.
Remember those lost in September, 2001.
Live with love and peace, we will all die some day.

Chilling at the tennis park for a bit. It's right near the ex-house. I guess someone should be proud of me - I decided not to go look at my ex-room. It's like, well, if I'm not really welcome here anymore (at least not in the room/house) then I guess I shouldn't really care how things get changed. Which saying that is a very odd thing, as I'm a very curious bunny and notice / investigate many small changes I notice. I noticed about a week ago my air purifier had disappeared from its spot. Today it's back. I can assume that means painting was done and it was borrowed for that. Anyways... not welcome in the room... not welcome in the home... not invited over... guess I should not care. Maybe in the future the ex-roomies will be more friendly, but we'll see. (The one doesn't really like me, so I doubt I'll see them again.)

Oh crap. I forgot I was going to see about getting a second binder to hold Epic Fail - have to make note of that for when I leave here. The ex-house is literally right around the corner. Well two actually, but it's like 20-30 seconds drive away.

It is way super hot again. In the shade it's ok though. I really need my shorts. Dirty though, so I'll just wait. I did grab an old tank top. It's smaller and tight around the waist, so not something I want to wear a lot, but good god it got hot again quick. Supposedly it's getting more hot over the next few days. Again, I'm very thankful this happened in the Summer and it's one of our hotter ones in several years.

Did some car tweaking after the vacuum. I was low on oil, at minimum, and fairly low on coolant, about 25% full. Younglings out there, get your peeps to show you how to check/add oil and coolant. If you just drive a few days a week you only need to check once every four months I'd say, but if either of those run out you can rapidly run into trouble. Some say to check every time you get gas, but I think that is fairly extreme. (Plus, the car parts would be hot.) I would recommend looking at your tires every gas trip though. Just a quick look to see if they are ok. Again, you shouldn't have to inflate them all that often. I only do maybe once every six months. It's not very frequently. Anyways, check that car stuff. Noobs can do that stuff, so it's easy to learn.

Time passes

Bit of a tight fit in the new binder, and this is just what's not posted. Hopefully it won't get much bigger before I can start getting caught up.

Did a quick peek online since it's so hot out and I came to the fast library. Spent more time than I would have liked with my early check. The guy that wants the card at $80 is pressuring me more and now offering $82.50. It's like, 'Dude, I'm not going to sell to you less than 24 hours after first contact with the other guy, especially for less'. I don't think he gets that some of us have honor and I'm going to give the first guy time to respond. Now, if he were offering more monies... mayyybbbe.

Oh, I was saying, had to spend more time online to explain the Nvidia numbering system. I explained that #xxx is the generation, x### is placement within the generation, and that both the generation and within generation placement change power. So, the 8300 doesn't beat a 7800 just because it's a higher number. It's not that simple. In fact, the 7800 is way more powerful because the 8300 is at the absolute bottom of power, a card not targeting gamers, while the 7800 is near the top of it's generation. Anyways, big post that ate up 15 minutes of bla bla and getting reference links.

I so hope I get my portable soon. Not just so it will be much faster/easier to do this, but mostly because then it will be mine. I can have my bookmarks back, my auto-login back, my email back, and I won't have to worry about time limits or taking up the spot of someone else that may need it.

Well, 1:15 till I move up for washing my cloths. Hopefully they will air my show at 5. It's not supposed to air till like 7. We got the east coast times at my old place via DirectTV, so things on at 7 then repeated at 9 for west coast and shows for 7 were actually 5 and 7. I guess they will actually not show it till 7 since it's free generic cable. Hum. Maybe I should chill longer and go up to be there around 7. Maybe grab dinner on the way. Bleh. I was going to do a fancy fast food dinner. If I leave I can't do the fountain drink. *sigh* Dumb not being in a home where I can wash cloths whenever I want and watch my TV shows how I want.

Oh, this binder is fun 'cause it's my gaming binder. Though old now, I've got five full color photo paper prints of talent builds. Two for Death Knight, two for Warrior, and one for Rogue. hehe. I did an updated Death Knight build a few days ago online. Once I get my portable I'll have to print it to replace the outdated ones. I figure I can set up my portable to print on the printer easy enough. It would be quick to unbox and use. I'm miffed though. Frost Blade talent disappeared entirely and now Frost Armor is too deep in the tree to take. I'm nearly all Blood now, which is ok I guess. Maybe I can shave off like 6 points at the end, but then I'd have no super end talent. Not sure how useful it is though. Doesn't seem all that great since it's got a long timer. Anyways... one to two months till launch still I bet. Plenty of time to ponder builds. Plus, I really have to play it to see how it all works before I can really choose a build. Due to lack of market hype and not being gold launch is at least six weeks off.

Anyways... pondering timetables... yeah, at this point holding clothing arrival time till near 7 is less than three hours off. Of which I've got 45 minutes of access left. I'll go ahead and stay put, be there just before 7, do dinner just after 8 on my way back down. Hopefully it will all be good.

Time passes

Oh bother. It's 7 now and House is next. Looks like it's not on until 10, which is way later than now. I guess the good news is that by going via city streets (vs. the freeway) it's only about 2 miles from my northern hub compared to like 8 miles. So, that's almost no gas at all this way. Ah well, at least my cloths will be clean.

Time passes

Wow, ug. I think tonight will serve as a farewell to fried food. I really like fried chicken strips and zomg fried cheese sticks for teh win, but... it's destroying me. I think, due to my illness in '92 and due to my... age... I should just avoid it entirely. It seems so sad to block out an entire food category like that, but, well, I don't feel good. I should have just gotten a fresco item. Well... I did kind of need a break from being so poor/stressed over my budget. We now return to our scheduled stress.

I did peep El Pollo Loco on the way. It looked a lot like Taco Bell, but with far more chicken items. There was a pretty tasty looking roasted chicken item I may try someday. I guess all fast food is like $6-8 these days. Man that seems crazy. I could swear back only three years go they were like $5-6.

It's about 9. The tummy is happy, but the rest is ack! My happiness at getting money to continue life turns to sadness as I look at how rapidly my pay gets spent. The night rapidly turns cold and cools down from earlier in the day. I hope I don't wind up regretting the decision to not pull that second blanket. The constant whoosh of cars and busses is behind me. The hustle and bustle of life, people on the move, people with places to go, going home from work, going to friends, going to work. Everyone but me. Me, I sit watching them all go by. Certainly they don't know of my plight, but would they care? Does anyone? There have been a dozen or so well wishers on the boards since my troubles started. Many with similar stories. A few help, but most it seems just wish me well and move on. The clerk the other day that found the $10 said he was homeless for about a year himself then quickly ignored me to tend the person behind me despite my still talking. While it's true offering me a job or place to stay is the only true and lasting help one could give, why does it seem so foreign and strange to offer to help me at least get by for a while? I think I mentioned before, were the situation reversed, were I reading and hearing about someone in need I'd offer money, gift cards for food and gas, maybe even put them up in a hotel for a bit if I could. Are we who are generous so few in the world? Is the one half of one percent of visitors figure (who donate) a true figure of those who are generous? It seems so odd to me that so many dress, choose cars, choose phones, do all these things to make themselves stand out as individuals to call attention to themselves, yet when people do pay attention they fear them. They fear and avoid the strangers, yet seem to desire attention and the spotlight. I hope I'll be ok, but with so many turning a blind eye to my story I wonder... how would they treat me if it continued, or got worse? A clean shaven, good smelling, fit, fairly young, very work capable guy in need of help. Crying out at times, yet people turn away at the cries. Makes me sad. It makes me wonder - if I were injured and bleeding on the street would they still turn away? What would they do if I weren't so capable seeming?

Day 73 - 9/12 - Up and Down

Cold day again. It could warm up soon though. It's only about 9:30. Yesterday between 9 and 10 it went from cold to not cold and from 10 to noon it went to hot. I had a hard time sleeping what with my gurgly intestines. I likely only got 4.5 hours of sleep before I had to move. I'm fairly ok. The brain seems to be working well enough so far, but the eyelids are very heavy.

I expect with it being a Friday it will be a very slow day. Though I have mini-work tonight, so that reduces my available hours for doing stuff.

Guess it won't be too bad giving up fried food. I would only eat crispy chicken strips or cheese strips once every six months or so anyways. Once my system stabilizes after I've been in a home for a while I'm sure one of those now and then would be ok. The big one is chips. After those two bags I got are gone it will be baked or tortilla style from now on.

So yeah. Computer time at the slow library in 1/2 hour. Likely no jobs, so probably just fun stuff. Maybe I can start work on my Home Entertainment page. Now I regret not keeping it. Back in the day, in like January, I had made one in draft form. I decided not to do it and deleted the page and pictures. Now, since that time, I've referenced what would have been on it about a dozen times, heh.

Not sure what else to say. I'll likely have a something later.

Time passes

Some good news - the London friend mentioned he'll send more help soon. His monies are super helpful and he hasn't been able to send any for quite a while now. So that will cover class. Yeeeaaa. If I can flip the Macys card I'll be good to go for parking.

No job news though. As expected there were like zero job posts. This one place has been trying to get me to work for teh free. It's like, 'um... you want me to do the job you posted free and don't know how long it would be before you could pay me?' It's like maybe if I weren't so bad off I'd consider it, but in this condition I can't afford to work free and spend more gas getting there and back. That's crazy talk.

So yeah, spent the morning doing more helping and a touch of general chat. Maybe the afternoon will hold better prospects on the job front. If not I guess I could watch one of my shows. Only about 2.5 hours till I'm on a system, so likely nothing much will change. Boards move pretty slowly Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Oh, a couple of the toes on my right foot are like swollen, like they got smooshed. Poor toes are all ouchie. I don't know what happened.

I probably won't have time for my new Home Entertainment page until after the 22nd or after I get a portable. That may need to wait a few months till I get re-settled into a home.

Time passes

Here at mini-work now. About to nom the first of two free micro dinners left from the last rabb1t friend/fan visit. No one here yet. I may have some quiet time for a bit.

Surprisingly there were a couple of jobs to apply for. Both were in the (video game) industry, so I don't know if I'm really qualified, but hey it's something right? Plus, having seen the industry grow, both in terms of games and technology, a job in the industry (again) would potentially be a very good fit for me.

I'm kind of sad now, but hopeful. I guess just the regular weekend sadness is creeping in. I watched a video for most of my evening time, so I didn't get to do more chatting on boards. At least there is only one more week just about till school is open again. Then I can go back to my regular soups and micro foods and have double to triple the computer access I have now. Not to mention access to updating my site. At quick calculation it will cut gas cost by half, since I'll just go to school most days then stay put for 12+ hours. The only reason I'd need to leave would be to get frozen food nom, and that would only be a two mile drive, or classes twice a week (which are included in that reduced figure.)

So yeah, that's it. Kind of sad I am restricted by this time limit crap. Always sad I have to watch my shows all small. And, of course, profoundly sad I don't have a home or friends. Having a room or a hotel to stay in would at least be something. Having a home again... I wonder how long it will take to find one. This journal has reminded me just how much a place to put your stuff and a home differ.

Day 74 - 9/13 - Doom

The day I feared would come may finally be here. Last night the trailer I use for cover at the sleeping spot was gone. I have hopes it will come back, as its wood plank the hitch sits on was still on the ground. You'd think if it were gone till next Summer they'd have put the plank in storage, or if gone forever they would throw it away. It's a tiny little thing, about 1' long, so it would be fairly easily replaced, and fairly easily bounced by visiting church goers cars, so why leave it in the parking spot? Hopefully it will return soon, as I've dreaded the day it would disappear, as that has been the only real spot I've found to sleep. I suppose I could still sleep in the spot without the shield. It is still behind the church. A person has to go to the back, through most of the lot, to see me. It would, however, very obviously be away from the other cars, where previously, upon quick inspection, a person had to make a Spot check to notice me, as I was hidden/blended in the shadow of the trailer. Now it would be very obvious my car was different. I did notice a second Private Property sign though, which does make me wonder - do the police actually have the authority to investigate me (provided they could even go back there to see me) without the property owner calling me in? I mean, sure, I expect they automatically have permission if there is something suspicious going on, but just parked cars? Hum. Upon quick inspection from more than about 10 feet away I'd be just that, a parked and likely empty looking car. I don't feel as safe though. I feel vulnerable and exposed. Like that I would only feel comfortable with adjusted hours, maybe midnight to about 6, when people would be too asleep or sleepy to care about what car is driving where. Could be nights of sucky sleep ahead for me.

Freezing cold today. Looks like rain so far. Most people are in cold weather cloths. I wonder where the 85F+ weather we were supposed to get is. The sun isn't even visible. The sky is just an even medium gray overall. Maybe later it will clear. It's only 8:30 now. Looks like a very good day for sleeping in, cruising some boards while you wake up, have some tasty juice with breakfast, playing some games, then watching movies at night. Sadly I can only do one of those, and only for a limited amount of time.

Time passes

Lunch nom. Pwned the boards, as expected. No job postings, as expected. There was an art and wine thing going on and there was a first aid place giving away free foods! zomg! I can has free breakfast and snacks for later?! So I had some tasty pear, coffee cake, a few grapes and a bit of muffin. Sadly they had no juice, just coffee and water. I'm gots extra coffee cake for snacks through today.

Got about three hours till I go to the fast library. I expect I'll mostly watch a show. Boards are often dead on Saturdays what with people actually having time to play, so there probably won't be much talking past what I saw already.

Time passes

Woot! The Panda Express across from Golfland is finally open. Now I've got one near each hub, so less driving to get to one when I want to. Of course, with my current balance point I could only afford more than the $1 meals once every few weeks, and once school starts I'll go back to doing micro all the time. But still, options are nice. I've got one of those coupons left over from weeks and weeks ago. Tummy has been wanting it lately though.

Odd thought during lunch - even though K.F.C. has fried right there in the name I don't think they have any baked or roasted items on the menu. Back in the day, in like '92, they had some that was herb roasted. Zomg it was so good. I got it all the time when we went (I'd go with friends I had at the time), but I don't think they've offered it in 10+ years. Odd what with all the health food change in fast food lately.

Time passes

Yeah, I'm going to the new Panda Express. I'm too sad not to. I need a little cheering up if possible. It's like... I'll be ok... I hope... when the help money comes and I flip the Macys card. Though it looks like now both people (interested in the card) are flaking. But I don't know... The fact that I don't even really have enough for gas and even $1 food items and a touch more for snacks or drinks is killing me right now. I have chips. I have drinks. If I have to conserve I can have chips for lunch if need be.

I really don't get how week after week can pass and I am seemingly constantly overqualified or don't have the right credentials for different forward paths. I mean the big lead this week was someone who wants me to work as a volunteer? Seriously? This was my best prospect? *sigh*

The fail must be continuing for a reason. Maybe something I'm supposed to do, or somewhere I'm supposed to be, or something I write. (Though if I were in a more stable and positive mental state I could be writing / working on my theory of Psychology / Sociology / Metaphysics / Motivation, so I don't see how my unfocused rambling is better.)

Maybe something I applied to that hasn't closed out yet will move forward. Maybe an application pending now (I've got a couple) will move forward next week when people get back. Maybe I'll get some contest money and I can flip into a new direction.

So sad. Not crying sad. Just a confused, 'Well, wtf am I supposed to do that I haven't already been doing? I can't control anything in my life,' sad.

All I can think of at this point is... let's hope tomorrow is a better day.

Day 75 - 9/14 - Halloween Pirates

I went into Target because I had to go to the bathroom just now and zomg there are the coolest Halloween things. Of course the plastic weapons are awesome. Those get cooler and better every year. Definitely check those out if you are into doing costumes for any fun stuff. The extra stuff is super cool though. I'm going to have to get at least one of the pictures they have. They have a regular picture that shifts to a spooky picture, and if you push a button it does spooky noise and voice stuff. (I think it may have a motion sensor that it can use once it's out of the box.) There is this life size skeleton too. It's pretty expensive though, $125, but it lights up and says some cool stuff. At least I think it says some cool stuff. It's actually kind of hard to make out what it says, heh. Pop-out skeleton hands seem to be a theme this year.

Hardly got any sleep last night. I drove in to the sleeping church at midnight and was like wtf? There was this church youth group there watching Cars. Then, when it was over, they were running around the lot and being all loud and playing hide and go seek among the bushes and neighboring houses. Um boys and girls out there reading this - playing hide and seek at night on anything but a school campus is a very bad idea. It scares people who may react by calling the police because you are being suspicious or by doing you harm. They may think you are burglars or who knows what. (And even a school campus could be a bad idea if you bounce up against a window and set off a silent alarm.) Anyways... couldn't sleep till around 2:30, so I've only gotten about 4 hours of sleep not counting 1 hour of quasi sleep at the tennis park.

It's about 9:45 now. Gonna head to the slow library around 11 because they still have the thing going on, see if I can get some free lunch nom again. Um... guess that's about it for now. I expect it will be a pretty slow day, though that Halloween stuff was pretty exciting and a nice surprise. I love happy surprises.

Time passes

So I decided to go early and check out this Fall Festival thing that was happening. I got some free breakfast first - some tasty fruits, a few bits of muffin. No super tasty coffee cake though. Most of the site was meh, primarily safety or city service stuff (Fire, Police, Military, disaster relief, Red Cross, etc.), but at the far end was a pirate ship. Oooh a pirate something!? So I checked there for a bit. Turns out it was a pirate magic show - Cap'n Jack Spareribs and the Pirates of Harbor Bay. I can has magic show for teh free? Mostly it was the same kind of rope tricks and juggling you see at faire type things, but the last trick was like, 'wooooaaahhh. How'd they do that?' Made me feel like a kid again. I was all like, 'Where did the cute girl go? *gasp*' The pirate's daughter, Mambo Melissa, who was pretty hawt, gets in this box and they put spikes through it then put fire through it. I don't get how they did it.

After my library time I was all hungry again so I paid too much for a regular sized hot dog ($2). Part of the money went to charity and I figure it was nearly all meaty bits, as opposed to the soft taco, which is hardly any meat. The pirate magic show was going again, so I watched it again. I still couldn't figure it out, hehe. With several hours till my next library time I thought about sticking around to watch again, but then I thought that would just be kind of sad. You are supposed to go to these carnival/faire type things and be all tired when you go home, remembering the fun, not stick around so much the players start to recognize you. It did remind me a bit of Renaissance Faire, which I guess starts soon if it hasn't already. I haven't been in years. It's always so expensive. Not just to get in, but to eat. I expect the pirate show is there too. They mentioned Pier 39, but not Ren Faire.

No job news, though I did do a second phase step for the Cryptic Studios job application. I was all, 'Yikes this is tough!' I don't think I'm qualified, but I can try. Boards were effectively dead, as expected, so nothing new there really.

Kind of happy today now, with an always underlying sadness. It would have been so much cooler to have roomies and/or a sweetie to share in the Halloween and pirate magic show fun. At least I can share it with you guys to explore on your own later.

Time passes

Tummy totally wants Panda Express again ^.^ hehe. I think, while a great part of it is that it is yummy and probably has stuff my body is craving, is that it is a whole meal experience. I sit. I eat. I pause. I eat some more. It's like at home (but with more pauses 'cause foooo two items +1 for teh free is a lot of food.) The problem with the Taco Bell meals, particularly the $1 items, is that there isn't that transition. It's nom, nom, nom, gone. Literally like three bites and it's over. It's not really a meal in the mental/emotional sense. Maybe that's typically why I tend to 'save' my dinner for being ready when there is a show on. I can have that transition and 'time with the meal'. Something like a lunch soup I never really cared if anything super good was on because it's only 10 or so minutes and you are done. Though, I suppose most dinners don't last a whole lot longer, heh. I guess, for me, the environment and what is going on is a big part of the meal. I would always time dinner to be at 8 when I had a good show on. If there wasn't one on, or it was a repeat, I was sad, felt like a portion of the meal was missing. Back in the day with friends we never ordered pizza for delivery unless we had a movie. I was always like, 'Let's eat there,' and we'd go and talk. With my ex-roomie we would sometimes do Round Table pizza during Survivor. It should be noted I only eat Round Table pizza. I guess I didn't mention it before. I mean, sure, I'll eat other pizza, but if I'm ordering, if I'm choosing, it's Round Table (half pepperoni half ham and pineapple) and there is zero thought involved.

Not sure if this is useful or interesting info. I just had a thought that this would be part of why I'm getting so tired of the tasty $1 Taco Bell foods. That and the obvious subconscious reminder of this is how poor I am - that I have to order food that costs $1.

Day 76 - 9/15 - Tell your sister you were right

I was right. The small trailer is back. I slept totally awesome for like... hunh, close to 8 hours, which is the most I've gotten for weeks. And, after coming to the school spot, I've gotten like another decent 1/2 hour nap. Waiting on the shower now. I saw a scary old guy go that direction about 15 minutes ago, so I'd like to wait upwards to 20 more to be fairly sure he's gone.

Still have about 3 hours and 45 minutes till I go to the slow library. I expect it will be a slow day since it's Monday, even though it will be early afternoon when I can make my first check.

It's been super cold so far. The weather has been weird lately. It's been cold/foggy in the morning, warms up around 11 to become mildly hot, then, as the sun starts to set around 6:30, gets rapidly cold again. It's like, I have to put my blanket over my Pepsi's in the morning so they don't get warm in the day, then take it off in the evening and put it right onto me to stay warm.

Being the morning I can't think of anything else. Hopeful, as it's a new morning of a new week. Anything could change at any time, so I'm always a little hopeful. Still just about 3.5 hours till I can get to the slow library. Well, hopefully someday soon I'll have a portable and won't have to wait for that anymore, eh? It would be so nice to be able to check job stuff any time and I to get this typed in and get current on my site. Looking at about an estimated 25-30 solid hours to type this in to this point from where I left off.

Time passes

I saw my ex-roomie just now. I didn't know if she was home or not, her car was there, but she could have taken her bike. Anyways, I'm grabbing a Pepsi out of storage (I only carry one 12-pack with me at a time, store the rest) and try to rush out as I hear the front door. I'm in my car getting ready to go and see her. I say hi and ask if she got her cute kittens yet, as she had arranged to get two rare breed cats a while ago. She said yeah and asked if I wanted to come in. So, I went to see cute kittens. We talked about kitties and I said I miss them (cats), 'cause I do. I love animals, but with being homeless obviously I don't interact with any. Plus I'm allergic, so I really shouldn't have them myself. Anyways, I'm having a fun time and I mention that I miss her too. As I mentioned before, we didn't hang out super often, but we were pretty friendly. To my surprise she said in a sad tone, 'Yeeeaaaa.' So I guess we are still pretty ok and friendly. It just doesn't show in email. I guess we hung out like 1/2 hour playing with the cute kittens, hung out in my ex-room for a bit, which is now a kittah room till they are bigger and a bit safer in the rest of the house. I guess her sister, the one I mentioned who has kids, is having trouble with her ex (the father of said kids) and the original room plans were put on hold due to having to hire three different lawyers to battle this ass. So, that explains why nothing happened with the room. I guess the other day, had I gone to look, I may have seen some cute kitties, hehe. And, heh, it seems I can't do anything without recommending a something. She mentioned she may put a screen in her studio (what will become of my ex-room), so I mention something like a Samsung LN32A550 would pwn, heh.

Anyways, nearly lunch. Tummy is getting grumbly. Still 45 minutes till I head over for the slow library check.

Time passes

Post library snack time. I'm soooo hungry today. I'd love to go to Panda Express or Round Table tonight, but no monies. In fact, I am trying very hard to not be sad about the fact that I only have $35 left in my bank account, $10 in my pocket, and that isn't likely to cover food/gas for the remaining 10 days before I get paid again, let alone any school items or my phone bill.

Anyways... only one job app went out. A vague posting for a part time something. Still somewhat happy about seeing my ex-roomie/friend earlier. We didn't hang out often, but we did do Survivor each week and sometimes would watch 'chick flicks' (as many are romantic comedies which I totally love and her boyfriend like hates). She is sort of a gamer, so we would sometimes... well ok we couldn't really talk about it so much as I told her what to watch for that she may like, heh. I guess she is still doing it pretty often, as her Mario Kart and Wii Fit stuff were kind of 'out' in the living room. Oh, I also played about 45 minutes of Soul Calibur this morning at Gamestop.

I'm in the Best Buy / PetSmart lot. Golfland is basically dead these days, so it offers little entertainment unless it's night or the weekend. Best Buy has one of the best bathrooms anyways, heh. Plus, if I want some kitty time I can check PetSmart. I went in a while ago, I guess it was over the weekend, and there was a totally cute white kittah who was batting at me in the corner of his cage where there were holes in the plastic. I wiggled my fingers playfully and he played on his side. It was too cute. I was like, 'Thanks for spending time with me, kittah.' He lifted my mood a bit. Sad I had no home to bring him home to. We both need homes.

Time passes

I have to comment on this dumb ass I just saw. (That's part of why you are here, right? For teh lolz. ) This (pick up) truck pulls into the lot. I hear this 'bzzoozzzooowwwwuuup' noise and I'm all wtf? He sits for a while and then pulls out and I hear it again. I notice it's his tires mashing into the frame of the truck because they are too big to clear the edges on tight turns. That's so completely dumb. Hello, you are destroying something you need for the car to function. Peeps out there - don't be dumb. Don't get something because it 'looks cool' if it is going to put your life at risk. Tight turns peeling away tire bits? Huuulllooo guess what position you'll be in when that blows out dummy head. That's right, in a tight turn, not the angle you want your tires at when you lose control. Be smart peeps. Ask the experts what is the most you can get in order to have that cool look without putting yourself at risk, with any item be it a car or whatever.

Day 77 - 9/16 - Woot

Bit of an odd day so far. I woke up around 6:20 after what was likely 7.5 hours of excellent car sleep (which would have been 'decent' bed sleep). I didn't pee during the night, which I think I mentioned before is extremely rare for me. I usually pee two or three times on average. To sleep through the night... wow. I only do that once a year or so.

I drove over to school, had some cereal, nearly out now, took a 1/2 hour nap, then showered and shaved and now I'm super clean. I have a very odd feeling though. It's tough to describe. It's nervous and hopeful, as if today is my first day back at work. And by back I mean to one I've been at and enjoy. It feels like I should be going on campus. Like I'll have a short day of doing administrative / general office type work helping various students, leave that to have dinner in the cafeteria, then walk over to a classroom where I teach one class two nights a week because, in addition to my 25 or so hours of administrative/office work I'm a junior level professor teaching one class a semester. Then, once I have more experience, I could move up to full time and do three or four classes with expanded office hours. That would roxor. I don't really know why I feel like it - I just do. I haven't applied to any on-campus positions for a while, though I guess some ones at Stanford may be closing out for interviews. I know it's been weeks since I applied to any here at De Anza.

Nothing else going on. It's about 9:35. I can't go to the slow library to do the morning check till 1 because they open super late on Monday and Tuesday for some reason. No job phone calls. Soooo that's it for today. Roughly three hours till something expected comes up.

Time passes

Some minor woots. First and least directly impacting to my life, the Asus Eee PC 1000H has dropped to $450, likely due to new competition from the Dell Inspiron Mini 9. So, looks like we are back to the 1000H as the most for my money unless I could eek in on a Dell Mini for $100 deal.

Second woot - seems like I have a solid offer on the Macys card for $80. A bit less than I was hoping for, but we'll do the trade at the one in Sunnyvale, which is literally right around the corner from the fast library. So, I can get a real dinner tonight, likely Panda Express, to celebrate, and probably tomorrow I can look into a parking sticker for school. It should be enough for dinner tonight, the parking sticker, and $20 more for food or gas. Phew! That stress will be cleared.

Third and most unexpected, odd and hopefully happy woot - my ex-roomie who I visited the other day said her boyfriend (the ex-roomie who like hates me or whatever) will be out of town on Saturday and invited me over for BBQ/movies/hanging out/playing with cute kittens. So, I can has tasty real foods, hang with a friend, movies, and visit kitty time.

Sadly, anti-woot for jobs. There were absolutely zero to apply to. I did notice a listing earlier at the book store, so I'll put one in for that. But, up against other students who have zero experience... I'm likely to run into the overqualified problem again.

About 2.25 hours till I flip the card, then a fast library visit after that. I'll likely just watch Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, but still, that's happy.

Day 78 - 9/17 - Continued woots

It seems the woots will continue today. In a super surprise I got a pretty huge donation that will totally cover me for school! Thanks rabb1t fan Adam *wave* (Well, parking and tuition, maybe one book, probably not all the books I should get, but won't because I can't afford them.) In a continued / related woot the parking sticker was only $30. I'd mentally slated $50-60, so that's quite a bit less than expected. Lastly, a minor woot, the trailer shield at the sleeping spot has been moved to it's previous location. I now have back my proper shading and distance from the church / fence.

So, good day for non-work woot stuff so far. I'm going to go grab some foods, try and get away from $1 fast food for a few days by getting sandwich stuff, a bag of Animal Crackers and a cereal. Later I'll go for cheezburger for dinner to celebrate the new woots. Been forever it seems since I could afford more than the $1 items for dinner.

Not much else going on. As usual, much help and love on the boards for helping. Zero job apps. Sadly some sections haven't gotten any postings in several days. I may or may not get gas. I probably have enough to wait till tomorrow. Like 5+ hours of pretty much nothing between now and the next library check. The shopping will take maybe 1/2 hour, eating another 15 minutes, but that's it. *happy sigh* An exciting and emotionally satisfying day so far. Helping and getting thanks always improves my mood.

Time passes

Decided to check GameStop to see if they had The Force Unleashed, and they did. Played for a bit, not sure how long. Looks like there is an official date for Lich King now - mid November. I was totally right. I've always said it would be somewhere between Halloween and turkey weekend. So... I've got just shy of two months to get back into a somewhere to be there at launch. I will likely walk back in and put $5 on the collector's edition so I have the paper to look at.

One month for money saving, one leeway. Hopefully it will be enough. My luck hasn't been good so far.

Time passes

It's about 3:50. I just ran a quick check at the fast library a bit early and there was no job news. I needed to be sure there was enough monies in my checking to cover things. There was like $2 left, heh. I pulled a bit in from savings, which had $25 due to an auto draw from checking on the 15th.

I'd seen some references to associated press writing style, so I checked that out. Due to my previous writing training in Psychology I am basically good to go for what is in this book. There was one mark I used to use which I may not have quite been using correctly. So, I'll go ahead and go back and re-check what's done so far. With only 2 hours left till I would normally be here I may as well just stay put. This way, should the book ever go to actual print instead of just e-published, the publisher would be a bit happier, as the editor would have an easier time. Of course, due to being a journal I likely get a touch extra leeway.

Heck, I may already have enough experience and knowledge to be a low-level editor - did I mention I'd gotten a writing/editing credit for the World of Warcraft beta website? Back in the day they had an internal website for testers. Several pages had some... issues. I think I sent in about 5-7 email pages of corrections - probably 1-2 printed single space pages if you were to put it into that format. Sadly, last I looked, the page had removed all non-release credits. Once upon a time my old posting name "Cavalier1969" appeared on that page along with half a dozen other beta people.

Time passes

Minor job woot - it seems I passed one of the Sunnyvale secretary type job application phases. It's only a minor woot, as the last test phase thing I went to had 75 people there and the test phase isn't for another week. That is still a ton of competition to ge through before an interview.

Put out one other application, but that was it for jobs. No other replies. No new posts since like 2 really.

Tried to help someone with their build, but they had a full PM box. Hulllooo, good job there. Now you get to wait another 15 hours till my next window.

Christina is here. Poor dear is cleaning up trash bins and sweeping floors. She looks all sad and doesn't notice me. Not a very happy job. I guess though it's part of her overall burger job. Hopefully it (the sad mood) will pass quickly enough after she's off shift.

Well, been sitting here long enough. I think I digested slowly enough to do no harm to my tummy from grease or cheese. Not sure where to go being a Wednesday though.

Time passes

A bit sad now. It's night, and as you peeps know that's my sad time these days. Everyone has either gone home to eat, be with loved ones, watch TV, go to bed - only a few remain out to have fun, or are eating out. Normally as night approaches I get more excited. Normally my peak energy/excitement is from 6 to 10 PM. The work or study time is nearing an end, I look forward to cooking dinner, TV shows, checking my gaming stuff, playing games, watching shows, and sleeping in a warm comfy bed. But I don't have those things - none of them. For me, now, it's a time of sadness, loneliness, waiting with nothing to do but observe others living lives I can't have. It's a time of being in the shadows, among the shadows, being a shadow. A shadow of what I once was. Only able to exist out here. In the dark. In the night. In there, in the homes, in the warmth, I can't travel. I can't exist in the light at night. No longer allowed or welcomed into homes. Only the writing on these pages can pass into a home at night. Like the sun, I'm unseen, invisible, all but forgotten, unable to participate until the time I am allowed back into people's lives.

Day 79 - 9/18 - Living life through a wish list

Got super cold last night. I hope this isn't a continuing trend. I was sort of awake from about 4 to 5:30 and nearly completely awake from 5:30 to 6 due to the cold and shivering. I only got about 6 or 7 hours of sleep.

Sadly, despite waiting till now, 12:30 during lunch nom, there is no real news to share. There will be like zero job listings and zero replies or calls. A far cry from my previous five+ apps a day I was sending when this tragedy started. I don't think I've been able to send out five all this week.

My phone has started acting a bit crazy. I think the battery is dying. A couple of times last night it turned itself off for no reason. (It is supposed to shut down at 15-20% power to conserve power. Like if you forgot to turn it off or something.) The charge seems to go from full to nearly empty in 12 hours now without using it, which seems a lot shorter than I recall when it was new. If I were to guess new it would hold a charge for about 30+ before I needed to recharge it. Thank the gods it looks like Amazon has one listed for $5 +2 for shipping. I'll get that when my big donation flips in a few days.

The only real exciting news I can even possibly think of that's new to me today is that Constantine and Kung Fu Panda show up for Blu-ray now - both slated for a November release if I recall. Constantine would be a replacement of the DVD version, good movie. Kung Fu Panda I haven't seen yet, but hear is very good. It would be the... third kung fu movie I own. The other two being Kung Pow! Enter the Fist and Bulletproof Monk. Constantine, Doom, Transformers and Serenity were the four I was most mad were HD-DVD exclusive back in the day. Now Doom is the only one left that hasn't flipped to Blu-ray.

Time passes

Moved over to the Best Buy / PetSmart lot. I didn't really feel like going to the regular spots. I'm getting so tired of them all. I have little choice. I felt like going over to school and just hanging at the fountain. There is enough activity that would be ok. But, there was too much time to kill. Anyways. I killed some time with Guitar Hero. I still can't do well on medium. I'll likely stop playing soon. It's not my thing. I visited the kitties at PetSmart. The cute white one that played with me before is still there. He was all sleepy, but he peeked up at me with sad eyes. It makes me very sad that neither of us has found a home yet, but I can rest easy knowing he should find a loving happy home quickly enough.

Decided to do laundry today. I'll go over and do that in about 1/2 hour. Nothing to do really till then except maybe have a few chips for a snack.

Monday will be the start of me being back on campus all day. Lots of online access, microwaves for soups, it will all be good and reasonably happy again.

Something that happened back in high school keeps coming to mind lately. It was either in my first or second year - I don't recall which - the class was given I guess a job aptitude test. It apparently gauged people's interests to see what job they would be good in. I still remember the teacher's reaction to mine. Apparently it didn't know what I should do. Most people spike really high in certain ways, but apparently I was the only one he'd ever seen where the score was relatively flat across the board. I've got some knowledge and ability in lots of places. I'm good at explaining things, so I'd be a good teacher. I can do funny voices and be dramatic, so I could be an entertainer. I'm pretty good at observation and deductive reasoning, so I could be an investigator or maybe a researcher. I can write, creatively and non-creatively, so I could do some kind of writing. I have an eye for photography, so I could get into doing photos. I have an eye for layout, and did graphic arts for years as a job. After that I moved into web design as a hobby and I've dabbled in that. Obviously, in recent years, by that I mean pretty much the past five or so, I've become knowledgeable enough to do tech support. All these things I could do... yet no one (employers) seem to really care. It's like I can do B level work (as in grades) in several fields, but noone wants to touch me because they only care about A level in this one single thing. I just don't get why, in order to get a job, I have to prove I'm an expert in this one single thing at the cost of being also being good at several other things. Doesn't anyone care about cross discipline ability? I'd much rather be able to do B stuff in five categories than A work in one. Bleh. Guess it's laundry time.

Day 80 - 9/19 - Spending monies

Morning peeps. Super cold again last night. I'd say from about 3:30 to 6 I only got quasi-sleep. So, 4 hours good sleep, then like 4 hours of quasi-sleep/nap. It's 9:20 now, and those not up before 9 would have no idea how cold it was this morning. I'm partly tempted to get another blanket from the garage. I have a feeling though the opportunity to suggest the garage as a safe place may come up Saturday. With the coming months of cold if my ex-roomie does really still care about me (how could a person not genuinely care about someone at some level), which has been implied by my last visit and the BBQ/movie invite, it is entirely possible she may agree to staying there during the night. As I've mentioned, I see no reason not to allow me to stay from say 10 PM to 8 AM. They would never be in there during those times in this weather, so I wouldn't be at risk of disturbing them, and there is enough room to easily lay out a fold-out cot (small size) or just prop up my 'web chair'. (One of those with four high spots and there is a material stretched between the spots.)

Phone is still being lame. It's like it can't hit a full charge anymore, even when plugged in for hours, and it drains to 'turn off to conserve power' after I'd say eight hours. Totally need to order a new battery once my money flips. Hopefully the battery truly is the problem and it isn't some other issue.

Slow library access in 1/2 hour. The last weekday I'll be here. On Monday I finally get access to real computers and real amounts of time again. Yeeeaaa for no more website blackout. Gotta make final preparations on the site so I can just bang it out on Monday first thing. I expect I should be able to get the rest of week 8 up before the day is over. It has the first two days in already and only eight pages to type in. (Seems I can do 3-4 per hour from what I recall.)

Mini-work in the evening, so that's a something. Plus micro-dinner, so no fast food is also a something.

Pretty good mood so far, though I doubt we'll see any more job movement till next week. Time to wait about 25 minutes for first access.

Time passes

Phew. Seems like I've done so much today. The monies flipped, so I did a bunch of stuff. I signed up and paid for classes. I paid most of the overdue phone bill. (I'll get the rest in a week when I'm paid again.) The donator said I should get some fun things, so I got a World of Warcraft Warrior t-shirt and Carrot on a Stick keychain thing from J!nx. I also got the cool Halloween picture from Target (the male one of two pictures), a super huge towel that was on sale, and the cool cammo I mentioned before was on clearance for $6 and change, so I got that too. I spent about an hour (dumb slow poo) checking each line of each new build for prices and part changes. A few part changes, not too many price changes. (Not counting parts I'm swapping out.)

Ummm... That's it I guess. Oh, got some Kit Kats at the store. Hopefully they won't be too melty. Normally I keep candies like that in the fridge. These I had just now were melty, but it's mid-day and pretty warm. Hopefully the protected drink area will be cool enough they don't go perma-icky.

Um... About 1:30 now. Roughly one hour till I go to the first library to be sure I can use my hour before I head out to mini-work in the early evening.

Guess that's it for now. Still fairly happy. Burnt down to $40, but that can go to gas or food, not counting what's in my wallet, so I've a little cushion left. Plus, I've got London friend's money coming eventually. I'm ok again for monies.

Day 81 - 9/20 - Returns

I got some ok sleep. During the first half of the night it was actually warm enough to not have pants on. Though to about 2/3 the way through I didn't need my jacket either, which is often used as a second blanket. All in all I likely got a decent 7 hours of sleep.

It's just past 7:45 now. I've decided to look at, and probably buy, the cammo messenger bag. The backpack is cool, but it's got all this space and compartments I don't need. I basically just have a couple of binders, some pens and my phone. Temporarily I have headphones, my phone charger and a camera. I think, if the messenger bag has just one or two additional compartments besides the obvious large area I should have plenty of room in a more compact size. I should be able to return the backpack.

Additionally I'll return myself to the ex-home. Tonight I'll be doing some friend time with my ex-roomie. We didn't do friend time all that often and I miss that. I guess we now know she did too. Not sure when that will be. I'll guess not until 3 or after. She normally doesn't even get up till around 10 on the weekends.

Woop, nearly time for the store to open. More bla bla later. It should be an interesting day.

Time passes

12:30 lunch nom. No word from my ex-roomie. The boards were super quiet too. Most likely peeps are having fun, not chatting on boards. Besides the messenger bag, which was $4, hehe, nothing really new yet.

I'm thinking I'll go over to the fast library around 2 since I expect my roomie to say it's ok to come over by 4. I was kind of hoping she would have invited me over by now and surprised me with letting me shower, run a laundry and use her computer for a bit, but... maybe that would be weird for her. We'll see what is offered when it's offered. So far all I know is dinner and movies, so that's happy. She didn't confirm if I should bring anything or not, but the healthy rice was on sale, so I got one - Rice-a-Roni Whole Grain Chicken & Herb Classico, yum! Only two servings per box vs. the three of the not-healthy versions, but it's way healthier and actually a bit more tasty. They only have a couple of flavors of the healthy one to choose from, which is sad.

Day 82 - 9/21 - I can has sleepover

So much to write about. It's been 24 hours since our last chat. It's now right about 2:45.

I called my ex-roomie yesterday at 2 and she said I could come over around 3. Apparently she'd sent an email around Wednesday, but I didn't get it for some reason.

First we spent a bit of time playing with the kitties after I took a quick shower. The shower was an odd mix, as there were times I felt just like I did back in the day. A few times my mind wandered to 'what should I do' when I'm done and back in my room. Happy memories, but sad, as my room isn't my room, it's the kittah room now. Come to think of it, today is the second day I used her soap and I do seem less congested and able to breath easier. My theory on unscented-allergy free soap (and being allergic to my current one) could be correct. I'll have to do more research on where to get it. Next we watched National Treasure 2, which was decent. After that we started the BBQ. My bad, I just realized I forgot to take a picture of that. We watched Speed Racer while nomming dinner. It would have been cooler in Blu-ray, but that's ok. I liked it enough I think I'll buy it some day. It may seem a bit cheesy to someone unfamiliar with the series, but it did an awesome job of capturing the original feel. She hooked me up with some Wii time, and we scoffed at Strong Bad's Cool Adventure for Attractive People costing $10 per episode - of which there will be five. Sure, I could see $7.50 per, but full (release game) price ($50) to get it all? Hum. After the scoffing she hooked me up with Lost Winds, one of the launch WiiWare games I recommended to her. Lots of fun, but I'll have to actually get it myself one day.

I got to sleep on the couch. Wooo something not the car. It was pretty comfortable and, back in the day in April of 2001, a place I stayed in her house for five months till they gave me the room I had. (Though this is a different couch.) It was a super restful sleep. I'd say about 6 hours, but time didn't really seem to pass. I know I dreamt, but I don't really have the sense that time passed. I just feel mentally rested (not so much physically).

I got up around 7:30 to thieve some computer time. Good thing too, since the updates I had already done on paper took 2.5 hours. At school that likely would have been the full day. Getting current feels amazing - like both a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders and a blinding haze has been whisked away from around my head.

Not much happened during the time after that. Overall there was much chatting about a variety of things, and aside from the fact that there were kitties in my room instead of me, it was like one of our rare hang out days in years past.

The subject of the garage didn't come up. I wasn't too worried about it since the weather seems to be turning in my favor again. Yeah, I'd love to be off the street, but I don't want to impose. Next time a shift occurs I'll consider requesting it if it looks like I may need it.

Nothing going on with the boards. I did cruise through the J!nx boards really quick. They don't seem like somewhere I'd want to be (due to poop talkers), but I did spot a thread and may be able to spare someone $300+ by swaying them away from DDR3. I sent an email.

3:15 now... I don't expect anything will change till I do my next library check in the evening.

School tomorrow - giving me back access to my site, access to fast/real computers, and the majority of a 12 hour window to look at job postings, check boards, research whatever (such as gathering info to create my Home Entertainment page), classes start... should be good stuff.

Time passes

Feh. I remembered to come to the library early to study for my test/interview phase, but all eight copies of the books that could help are checked out. On the good side, I did find an abandoned system with someone else's time, so I managed to nab an extra 10 minutes for today (not counting the sweep I got to do at my ex-house this morning). I guess, as difficult as it may be with no ability to research, I can start on the text for my Home Entertainment page.

Day 83 - 9/22 - The cycle renews

Happy day today so far. Got on campus at 7 after decent sleep. Hopped in the shower - no soap. I've decided to continue my soap experiment for a week. If my allergies do extend to my current soap type I should continue to get less and less congested as time goes on. One week should be enough to prove/disprove the theory. Plus, I'll have money to get a new soap on Thursday.

I snuck in two back-to-back sessions so far. I got an additional site update in, but didn't upload it. It's fairly minor. I edited some minor changes to Epic Fail pages already posted and the remaining part of the two hours was spent entering most of week 7. I'm only a few days off of finishing. I should have plenty of time during the rest of today to get at least week 7 finished and uploaded.

Tons of activity here now that people are awake. I'm really sad I didn't know what I wanted to do when I was younger to be a part of it then. Though I don't regret being here now at all. Many would feel a discomfort surrounded by others so much younger, but me, I feel an odd sense of peace - like I've always belonged among the chaotic swirl of college peeps ready to learn and grow. Maybe it's because there really isn't anything that doesn't involve such people that interest me in a job. Maybe that's why college campuses have always felt like home compared to business places.

Drat. This pen is running out and it's the only one I brought. I'll have to stay conservative until I go back to the car. I was expecting to anyways. I'll mostly be trying to upload Epic Fail to you guys as quick as I can, so there won't be much going on besides my typing, heh.

It's 10:40 now. I'm going to charge my phone for a bit, maybe till 11:15 or 11:30, then go have some lunch nom, then see if I can get back onto a system. Things may not quiet down until after 3. I guess we'll see. Happy to be back where I have access again and to be surrounded by young, hopeful, happy, hi-hi social to one another peeps.

Time passes

So many here for teh lunch nom. It was packed when I got in at 11:15. Had a super tasty chicken soup. At long last, real foods. Though, I was very tempted to grab chicken shapes. I don't have the spare for them though. I've got... $13 and change and about $20 reserved in my account in case I need more gas. I will try and be as conservative as I can as I'm running closer than I'd like on monies.

Funny story, Sony is here with her sweetie. She must be younger than I thought. Were I to guess now, with the possibility she got the HDNA lanyard with the laptop which was given as a graduation present, I'd put bets closer to 19 than anything else. Must come from a decently well off family if she still lives at home to be dropping a few $ every few nights over the Summer and to get the Sony HDNA laptop. (I've actually seen her a fair bit after mentioning I confirmed she had a boyfriend - just didn't feel their happy snuggle sessions were worth reporting, heh.)

Having some cookies as an end lunch dessert snack, then off we go to try and get some more Epic Fail input time. I've got roughly five hours here before I move to the class campus, then one more hour before class. I should probably consider transferring here, but it's such a pain, and I don't know which campus would be closer to work and home since I currently lack both. This campus is certainly easier to access from my current travel paths though. I guess it was closer to my previous home as well, being about five minutes away compared to the 15 of the other. Anyways, dessert over, off we go. Cross your fingers.

Time passes

Chilling with a snack. It's about 3:45, one hour before I'm off to change campuses to get to my class. Figure I need some time away from the systems. I've basically been in that (estimated 20' x 25') room for 6.25 of the past 7.75 hours. I'm out front of the library now at the fountain. The crazy laughing girl is back. She came in around 8 and hasn't moved from the spot since. She just keeps recycling the time. She ate lunch in there and is having a snack in there now. I am beginning to wonder if she actually has classes here. All during Summer on the days she was there she pretty much stayed put recycling the time as well. Maybe her family is too poor for a TV or computer or something, because good god, she watches those videos all day. It's all she does. Anyways...

Tons accomplished so far today. Checked jobs three times (finally got a couple of apps out) got to type like 12+ pages of Epic Fail, posted week 7, updated a few minor PC page things, updated a minor bio page thing, updated the glossary page, inputted an article on digital distribution, cycled through my boards a few times, and did some Blu-ray window shopping. The only thing I haven't done is watch more Fringe, which I started to get into last night. I tried, but the system I was on refused to load the player.

Day 84 - 9/23 - Feeling unwelcome

I pushed myself super hard and re-cycled the computer timer back-to-back to get week 8 out to you guys. It's about 11:45 now. Having lunch nom. There are tons of hungry peeps bopin' around getting foods. I totally want chicken somethings from here - maybe Thursday after my pay flips. Some cuties in here today. But, of course, noone seems interested in teh rabb1t - all in their busy busy worlds, heh. After lunch I'll try and charge my phone a bit and watch some shows. I have all the Monday shows - Terminator, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother - plus getting caught up on Fringe. So, although I've spent tons of time on the computers so far, I've got many happy things to keep me entertained for a bit while I take a break from inputting.

Later I need to bounce off campus to get more Pepsi from storage and maybe grab a pack of Animal Crackers. I hate to leave campus, Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll have all day here - 8 AM to 9 PM - but I didn't want to be there last night. Oh, I need a second blanket too - that was the real reason I didn't go last night. Hopefully I won't forget.

Still no job postings to speak of. I sent one part time app out today, but that's it. I guess that's more than nothing.

Class last night was ok. I contributed some important points to discussion, so that was good. My poor feets get so tired of my boots. I like need the ankle support, but they seem so heavy, and the part around my ankle seems stifling sometimes. The ones everyone seems to be wearing these days are like $125+, so changing isn't possible for... well, until after I get some substantial income again. I don't know if they would be any lighter though. That's what I'd really like - lighter with the ankle support and nice feeling when I step. Though I think flexibility isn't possible without losing ankle support. I still think it's such a shame 'high tops' went out of style. While they never offered a ton of ankle support I think it would be all I'd need to help my feet survive the damage walking inflicts due to my flat feet.

Anyways... off to see if a system is open for show viewing or off to storage if they are busy. Being mid-day they could be very busy. I don't expect a cooling off until around 5 when peeps head out to dinner. Of course, I could go back to the tiny room. But it's so small and lonely compared to all the happy activity everywhere else. Of course... it is kinda loud for my ears in that activity, heh.

Time passes

So my old phone battery is totally dead I think. Let's hope the new one does ok. Big surprise that it had already arrived at my ex-house when I went there just now.

So I got two phone messages on jobs. *wiggles fingers* oooooh. The first message was from a guy at the college I take classes at about a low level computer lab tech assistant position. To start that story he was referred to me by an ex-professor. I asked what the job was (by email), but he told me to fill out an application and then we'd talk. "Ok, that is the weirdest reply ever", I think to myself. So yesterday I did that. Today I get his message, as I've had my phone off to be super polite and he's all, 'Uuuuhhhh... I don't know about your message, and this is just my opinion, but it won't impress perspective employers.' For the record, I've had the "Snowball song" from Greg The Bunny as my message for years. Also note that the majority of positions I'm applying to are schools, be they for small children (1 to 3 years old) or junior colleges. So, sure, it likely won't impress anyone at those Fortune 500 companies, of which I've applied to maybe one, but I've gotten comments from school employers who thought it was cute and fun, which it is. So, this guy already has two negatives and seems like an ass. Which is odd, because I've chatted with him before IRL and he seemed nice. (In addition to positive comments, or no comments, it will make it impossible for debt people to identify me.) The second message was a call back from NC Soft about a community manager / GM position. That one I called back to and did a quick phone interview. I guess it is yet another place that is doing a multi-phase interview thing. So, one neutral potential job (which the guy seems like an ass and would likely be a temp and part time position) and one positive job. Good deal since I've run about four job checks and only put out one meh part time application so far.

It's about 4:30 now, I'm in the cafeteria having a snack. I got $3 for turning in my cans, so I decided to get the chicken shapes. A bit more expensive than I recall, and they are a fried food, but I can make two meals out of them, and I deserve something nice to cheer me up now and then, right?

I'm going to try and stick around here in the cafeteria until the new battery is charged, but being brand new it could be a lot longer than the one hour it normally takes. I think I got here around 4, so I'll maybe move out of here at 6:30 to go watch some more shows and do another job check.

Um... that's it for now.

Time passes

The new battery has passed the initial test with flying colors. It finished filling at 5:30 and now, at 7:30, it showed 100% charge still, which includes a one minute call. The previous battery would have been down 20% easily. Charging it while I do dinner nom, then we'll see what it shows in the morning.

Dinner nom is a fancy chicken soup, which I got on sale for two-for-one, so it was only about 2x the cost of the cheap soup, heh. I may have a chicken nugget or three as well, cookies for dessert.

Looks like good news for access. I haven't gotten details, but the library is open longer than I thought, on Sundays a fair amount, which is a total surprise, the cafeteria is open till 10 PM, which really surprises me. (Though food isn't made that late I don't think. I think that stops at 9) and the room I can update my site from is also open more than I expected, including a bit on weekends. This week I'll likely crank out Epic Fail, and maybe this weekend, when there should be fewer students, I'll likely make my Home Entertainment page. Though, unless I go get Photoshop and Flash (and install those to my USB) I won't be able to make a menu button for it.

Nom nom nom... what else...

It still seems such an odd thought - to be in the world, yet not a part of it. To be an observer who contributes knowledge and influences lives, yet only a passer by in the night. To know there are so many out there who wish me well, yet at the same time, the world seemingly turns it's back on me.

Time passes

Bleh, more being unwelcome. Here I am, at 8:30, 1/2 hour till the library closes, watching the premier of Heroes. There are maybe a dozen students in the library total (compared to hundreds), of which in my visible space I can see two others on desktops, two on laptops, compared to maybe 20 total desktops available, and this librarian comes up to me, one I've never seen here before, and he's all, "Excuse me, Sir. We aren't supposed to be watching videos or movies online. It takes up too much bandwidth." And so I shut it down and as I'm putting away my headphones I say, "Well, then you should block YouTube, because I see dozens of students using it a day." And he's all, "We've gone back and forth on that for years. The trouble is professors use it to distribute some of their classes." So um hello, professors need the bandwidth, so get more in the budget. If the budget isn't big enough it's not hard to create some kind of access card and maybe charge a $2 a semester fee for advanced access, or $5 for unlimited. You could easily get tons of money right there. Say 10k students, $5 card, hello, you just got $50k in the budget. I'm sure even a junior college like this has tons more students than that.

Feh, had to vent there. Easy enough to use different areas and avoid him or use public library systems if I have to. But seriously, bitching 1/2 hour before closing, bitching when dozens of students per hour sap bandwidth on YouTube, bitching when the student load on the system is like less than 15% max student load... give me a break. Relax the sphincter and let people watch some videos, or shut it all down, or charge extra. If things persist due to bureaucratic limbo telling one student to stop now and then won't help your political agenda. Letting them use up the bandwidth and point to it as example would be far more useful to your agenda.

*sigh* Like I don't have enough poop in my life already.

At least it's 9:15 and it's still warm. I've had my shorts on since 4. I should have a nice warm sleepy time tonight. Not sure where I'll go for the next hour though. Maybe to the church/school to just try and relax. Mr. Ass made me all tensed up and upset.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008, 2009
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)

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