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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

Day 337 - 6/3 - Extra hours

I'm soooo hungry. It's nearing 1:30 and I'm having a late lunch because I've been working on a paper/project I've been putting off. It's almost done now, just a bit more to do; and it's due tonight, hehe.

I've got a bunch of extra hours over the next couple of weeks. Aquatics mini work has me working on Saturdays, and someone called from gym mini work needing me to cover his shift on Sundays. It means I don't get a weekend for two weeks in the sense that I work both Saturday and Sunday, but they are pretty short shifts, all 3 or 4 hours save for one 8 hour Saturday. So it's not too terrible. For that next paycheck in two weeks it means I'll have about +$225. I can use that to get my eye exam and contacts for sure, maybe even have enough to save for next semester, get a few new shirts, get the new laptop bag I'm looking at (my backpack is falling apart). Word would be good, but I don't think I'll have quite that much wiggle room.

Um... that's really it so far. I took a shower this morning after sleeping in then I've been working on the paper since then.

Yesterday was super busy. I had work, had to fax that stuff, had the observation, then had class. I had like no real relaxing time. Busy, busy, busy. Today I'll be busy until I've finished my paper/project. Hopefully I can do that pretty quickly so I can have a few hours for fun stuff before class. After class it will be 9 and my day will basically be over.

Guess that's all for now.

Day 338 - 6/4 - Tires at last

Finally, the tires. I'm having cheezburger nom waiting for my tires to be put on. It's a late lunch at almost 2, but I forgot that I was out of soups, so it was this or wait over an hour for the tires to be done.

I called the insurance guy again this morning; big surprise he never returned my call yesterday. He returned the one today and said the money will be on the way later today. I should have it on Monday or Tuesday I think. I don't know if it will include the phone overages though. If not I'll be sad but I want this over with.

My paycheck next time (in two weeks) will be near 50% more than normal, so I'm not too worried if I wind up losing a little in all of this. I'm actually more worried about how glass shards started coming out of the vents when I put it on high. I'll have to find a place to vacuum that and just sit there and do that as much as I can some day. I only use settings one, two, and three, I don't really use the highest, so it's fine.

I'm reducing the number of Epic Fail pages. It will make them easier to update, but it is pretty time consuming.

I'll be going to the game center for a little fun later to try and reduce some of this remaining stress from these lingering crash issues and the tires. Probably nothing of real interest will happen later.

That's all for now. K thx bye.

Day 339 - 6/5 - No more lol sneak

I got so many loots last night. That's not too uncommon for someone new to a raid going with those who have been to ones before. There is more stuff you don't have that they do. I have to be careful not to spend too much time there. While I'm not paying house bills (which range from $40 to $80 a month each) I'm also not earning a super huge amount 'extra' and I don't want to spend too much by renting time when I could instead save up for permanent upgrades.

It still looks like rain. I'm super tired and super hungry. I finished the changes to Epic Fail, so that's all ready to go with the next week's posting.

I won't have a lot of free time tomorrow. I have to get up early to work 8 hours; then the night is mostly over. I figure I'll do laundry after, that's only a few blocks from there. Then I'll have about 1-1.5 hours before it's 7 at which time I'll probably see Land Of The Lost. I'll drop by to get a ticket later today. I may get one for tonight if there is a showing between 10:30-11. Later would be too late and earlier I can't get to because of work.

Um... that's all so far. I'll do my bill planning in a bit to see what exactly I can do this pay period and what I can't. Likely it will almost all be going to bills because phone and car insurance are overdue. But, at least that means in two weeks I'll be totally current and have gotten my contacts taken care of.

Guess that's it for now.

Time passes

It's nearing 9:30 at gym mini work. Tonight will be the night of a lot of movies. I saw two during my shift and I decided to get a ticket for Land Of The Lost at 11:10. It's a touch later than I would have liked, but that does just leave about 45 minutes to 1 hour from when I get off work to get there. It shouldn't be more than 20 minutes to get there, so I should be fine. I decided to do it tonight because tomorrow it would have felt too tight/rushed what with it only being a few hours after work let out. I figured with needing to get up early I probably really didn't want to do a movie that night as I'd probably be too tired to enjoy it as much. Plus this way it leaves both Saturday and Sunday open to game without worry of time restrictions. What I'll most likely do Saturday is laundry after work then just have Panda and game on my netbook for a bit, then on Sunday spend some time at the game center after the extra gym shift.

I really hate planning my life in time blocks. It seems like that's all I've done forever. This block of time is work, this block is for trying to do board/job stuff, this block is for trying to play, this block I need to be hiding in my sleeping spot; It's so sad and so frustrating. In a home you can get up whenever if you don't have work. You can eat whenever, shower whenever, play a game for five minutes or five hours; you don't have to plan anything (save for work and other scheduled things.) I think that's what has always worn me down the most - needing to plan and slot every single thing. You don't think of it as "work" or trying to plan everything, but it really wears you down the most. I think what I'd like most right now is to be somewhere, even just for a few days, where I have absolutely nothing to do or plan. I could get up, do whatever, a peep would come to my door and ask if I want lunch or dinner or whatever, no request for a plan, just like yes or no, and they know what I like, so just *bam* and it's there. Or like *bam* and my cloths are washed. In the best relationships people share the planning and the doing so you can kind of get that. But I've been single for so long, doing for so long, I really can't remember if there has been any time since my mom died (when I was 13) that I've ever really had that, even during times when I had a sweetie and/or friends. I don't think I can remember a time where I didn't have to, or need to, plan things.

It seems school discovered I was yoinking the landline to sneak in to the game, lol. When I tried at like 3 I couldn’t get in, but off campus I connected fine at like 4. It is very unlikely the servers were down, but I'll verify it again like Monday to be sure. It seems there will be no more lol sneaking in to play (from campus) for me, hehe.

Well, got to start closing up and kicking people out in 10 minutes, then it's off to the movie. Hope everyone is having a better Friday than me. Though I suppose mine isn't super terrible.

Time passes

I've heard cruises are like what I talk about above. I've never been on one. You can file this idea with the Adventurer's Club - Star Cruises. See, I get seasick, so I'd never go on a cruise, but the idea is cool. What if there was a star cruiser? You know, one that blasts off, cycles around the galaxy and space, visits other galaxies, then comes back. Not for real mind you, but it's a 'simulated' trip over the space of like three real world days. The 'view ports' or big huge sky dome things would be the only way to see out of the ship in place of regular windows, which would show what's going on 'outside'. There could be random events, like ion storms, or pirate attacks, or visiting alien dignitaries. Wouldn't that be awesome? Anyways, another crazy rabb1t brain idea if I were ever to be mega rich and make a business.

Day 340 - 6/6 - Odd day

I'm soooo tired. I actually snuck in to an earlier showing than the one I had a ticket for at around 10:30. Even doing that I didn't get to the sleeping spot until around 1 AM.

I haven't really finalized plans yet for today. I may stick to wireless gaming and a fast food meal, I may pay for time and use a meal I already have, I may or may not do laundry today... I really don't know. I probably won't figure it out until later in the day.

It's only 9:45 now, still very early in my extra super long Saturday shift. I probably won't know what I want to do until later. In a home mood balances quickly and you can do whatever, but this being homeless not having my own space poo is like an emotional sand pit. I tend to be dragged whatever direction the sand goes and it's a real struggle to fight that pull.

Guess that's all for now.

Time passes

It's just past 11:45 and it is the end of an odd day. The 8-hour shift wasn't bad at all. It actually went fairly quickly despite hardly any people showing up. I felt kind of meh after so I decided to skip laundry, skip eating out, and just go straight to the game center. Things went ok most of the time. I had fun, but at the end it turned sad. It became one of those groups that just didn't know how to beat the end boss, so we died over and over and over. For more than an hour they just kept trying to kill the boss and dying. It got to the point I mentioned I shouldn't be paying hourly for this, my homelessness, and then discussion went on with someone on how they thought I should get out. They are right, but they have no idea of the traps I have. It really made me sad to be reminded of all my traps and that I'm burning money for entertainment I could spend on other things. Sure, I treat it like a movie, paying for entertainment by the hour, not a MMORPG with lasting results, because that's really all games are regardless of type. But it really made me sad to be reminded of the traps. They were like, 'you should drop all frivolous costs' and I'm just like, 'no, I need to save thousands and be earning near 2k a month to even begin to consider moving back in somewhere.' Sure, the like probably $75 a month I've spent the past month or so on gaming at the center is a lot, but that is nothing considering the near 2k I need saved for first/last/deposit, nor the near 2k a month I need to be earning.

So now I'm sad. I think tomorrow I'll just do laundry after work, then game wirelessly. I'll avoid grouping and avoid the judgments of others and just try to find positive board things to do and do some solo quests to build up some gold. Hopefully I can do some studying too. Well, tomorrow is what it is. It will come in the morning. I have a feeling though, like all my other days, it will be sad and lonely no matter what I decide to do.

Day 341 - 6/7 - Unfolding strangely

It's 1 at gym mini work. Outside of laundry after work I still haven't decided what to do with my day. Odd thing to send me to work starting at 8:45 when people aren't scheduled to show up until noon. Next week it will be the same. Well, I'm very glad I got two movies. I basically watched both uninterrupted; an odd start to the day. Though I did get up at 6:30, moved the car, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I was up earlier. I really started the day by playing and checking a board or two super quick. That and the movies have put me in a more neutral mood, though I'm still more on the sad side of things than not. I guess the day will unfold as it unfolds. I have no plans.

That's all I can think of for now.

Time passes

It's just past 10 and my night is over. I'm settled in to the sleeping spot and noone is around - seemingly safe for another night. After work I did laundry. I was expecting to take a long shower alone at school after, but the pool area was still locked. I'd stopped by at around 6:30 when I moved the car and noticed it was locked, but that isn't too unusual for a Sunday at that hour. But still locked at 3 when I tried to shower after work, that's highly unusual. I wonder if they are cutting the hours back as summer nears.

From there I went to game on my netbook. I really just did that the rest of the day. I got super hungry around 6:30 and decided to have Panda, but that is as exciting as my night got. Someone online did ask how I was doing though. Apparently we've talked before about my being on a netbook and only working 5 hours a week. (So I guess we haven't talked recently, since I've been on more hours for a while now.) I also got a big thank you from someone I've been helping with a system build on a board. As always, it's very nice to be appreciated and know people worry about me. Though I know all you rabb1t peeps care and worry about me too.

About 20 minutes ago I stopped by the ex-house to check for monies. There were none. The friend/ex-roomie came to the door. She was like, 'you're not pizza'. And I'm like, 'no, lawl '. It makes me sad to think her and the ex-roomie who hates me are still up, having fun, nomming pizza, and will have a good time for several more hours. Once upon a time I'd have been invited to join them. But now, now I have to hide in shadows, in the cold, in my car, alone with no pizza and no fun.

There has been a lot of chatter around me lately about graduations, also about fun nights after/on graduation. I don't think I got to do that. I'm pretty sure I didn't. Once a few years back I think I dreamt that I did, but I'm certain that I didn't. There are so very many things I regret not doing when I was supposed to have done them. So much of my life has been missed, left unlived, because I was alone and didn't see the point of doing things alone with noone to share the experience with. Maybe I am better off not having done it alone. But then I wonder too what may have happened, what may have been formed or revealed, if I had.

Day 342 - 6/8 - Saw, nail, nail, saw

Today at the school sleeping spot I was woken up over an hour early by 'meeeaaarrr... kerthack, kerthack... meeeaaarrr'. Some people were doing some construction stuff in the storage area of the garage. I moved over to the other side of the lot then took a shower. After, I had nearly 1/2 hour to get a hot chocolate, check email, and do my daily gemcrafting quest.

This morning I got to mini aquatics work and there was the most beautiful girl sitting in my spot. I knew she was a lifeguard person I hadn't met yet, but I wasn't going to tell her she was doing something "wrong" because she'd go away from me. After we opened she asked how we do rotation, so then I told her I'm up here all day... so she went away to the pool, heh.

I just played wirelessly all day yesterday. It was good. It gave me some mental space from groups and allowed me to build up some gold. I also was chatting with someone for a bit and we ran some DPS tests and I discovered something that surprised me; it seems because all of my gear is for tanking I can't do DPS at all. Even when using my blood spec, which should have lots of damage boosting abilities, that my gear is effectively defining my role and my talent spec really has no effect at all on that. Yes, there are some differences that remain, like blood has some good regeneration abilities and frost has a bit more mitigation but lacks regeneration. it really shocked me though that because my gear is all tanking focused I was completely unable to do a DPS role. I'll have to look around my bank and see if there are enough items to be able to influence that. Though I know I only have about three or four other spare items in the bank that might be tweakable. I always knew gear was important, but discovering that my talent spec really changed nothing in terms of damage was surprising. I'm sure it's more of an exponential change though and that as I get more DPS gear the talent specs will show a greater difference between them.

I'm not sure what I'll do after work. I need to study for a test, but I don't have the right version of the book. The version I have lacks the info I need to study. I'll see if the library has a newer one on reserve/hold. If so I can do studying. If not... maybe I'll see if shows are on for the new season or go do more wireless gaming.

Guess that's it for now. K thx bye.

Time passes

It's 6:30. I finished dinner and did about 2 total hours of studying. I'll do more later, but I think that's enough for now. I saw Burn Notice, but that's the only show back in season. Now I'm off for some wireless gaming for a few hours, then my night will be over. I'll look for the insurance monies on the way to the sleeping spot.

'Night peeps.

Day 343 - 6/9 - Again with insurance poo

It's just after 10:45 at aquatics mini work. I'm tired because my sleep was messed up due to stress and needing to do a bunch of info searching. At around 10 last night I picked up my check from the insurance people at the ex-house. It was less than $80 (of the total $260+ owed). I called the guy and left a very unhappy message. After I'd thought about it I figured out it was missing the $182 charge, the biggest of the costs. I drove over to access the web and couldn't find the info I needed, so I had to call. I figured the insurance didn't pay it because I didn't know what it was for, so I had to find out to see why they might claim I'm not owed it. The info I was told was that it was an administrative fee incurred with every single car related thing, so they absolutely owe me for it. So now, after almost getting unstressed, I am again stressed and it will likely be another week to get the rest now.

I got up early, probably due to the stress, so I went to do some wireless gaming and stuff for about 45 minutes. The shop near school has a cutie who knows my name. She had a small hot chocolate ready for me before I ordered it. I think she's just doing it for like super customer service though 'cause I know she does it for other peeps too. Now, if she ran out to hug me bye as I left that would be a something. There was a dummy at the further shop last night. There is a girl over at the pizza shop two doors down that was over flirting at him. She's one of the most beautiful girls I've seen and this guy was kind of blowing her off. She's beautiful, like in her early 20s, showing super flirty interest, and this guy is blowing her off? Wow he's being dumb. Sure, he's younger too, so he doesn't need to 'rush', but I heard him talking with someone after she left saying he's single and 'playing the field'. He's dumb to ignore her and not see where it could go.

I'm kind of sad about my Death Knight talents. I tweaked for DPS last night and I was doing about double the DPS as my previous blood tanking build, yet just a touch more than my frost tanking build. It's like what the poop? Shouldn't the spec be more damaging? Shouldn't a blood tank spec be viable? The talents aren't that different for tanking. I guess your role is just like 80% gear based and 20% spec based. It's sad though because I love the I guess feel of blood; the ups and downs, the big crits and regeneration. The thing is the crits aren't actually any bigger in blood spec than frost even though they theoretically should. I've seen the same high in blood x1 or x2 targets while frost can be that same number x4 or x6 targets. Um... shouldn't blood be much higher for the reduced number per target or have an AE to balance it out? It just seems really imbalanced and makes me sad for my beloved blood line. The other thing is that it seems the roles are so gear dependant and I have no DPS gear, so I really can't DPS at all. My rating is 1000-1500 according to a meter, when it should be around 2500-5000 for a DPS Death Knight, which is nowhere near what I've heard as high as 10,000 for Rogue and Hunter. So it makes me wonder why do it at all if, at most, I'll only reach half of their DPS? I guess the difference is survivability since I will effectively never die (due to damage mitigation), compared to said Rogue or Hunter who can be very fragile in combat.

Anyways, tired ramblings from teh rabb1t brain.

Time passes

I'm cheating and typing some bla bla in class, hehe. Apparently the $182 was sent in a separate check, so it should be here in a few days. Yeeeaaa for not taking a whole other week to get to me. I was going to study but a friendly librarian peep who's a gamer told me about this casual game Plants vs. Zombies, so I was playing that instead of studying, hehe. Um... that's it for updates. I had a hamburger for dinner. I was soooo hungry. I found some left over chicken too from someone's dinner and an abandoned unopened bag of BBQ chips, so I got those too. That's all I can think of; probably it for the night/week.

Day 344 - 6/10 - To DPS or not DPS

It's noon; time for lunch nom. I'm having a couple of cups of soup. I forgot my container I normally use, so I had to find some drink cups to use, hehe. I'm nomming the abandoned BBQ chips I found too.

I think I did ok on the test last night. Probably not amazing, but likely around a B. I'm soooo extremely tired today. My brain really isn't working at all. I think the constant activity around me everywhere I go is really starting to wear me down. My eyes are half closed and I just want to go back to sleep. I did sleep in, but I only slept to around 9:45, so I didn't really sleep any more than I would have any other weekday.

I checked boards and news this morning; nothing interesting going on. I decided to grab the book for a class and make notes for the final. That way it will already be done and I won't have to worry about it.

I suppose I'll check for the second insurance check tonight, but I doubt I'll see it before Friday.

Not sure what else to say. So much of my life needs to be updated and re-built that it feels like I'm getting a reboot - like so many movies and TV series lately. My life has basically stood still since my early 20s, so in a way it seems appropriate those are the kinds of people I'm around the most. Yet I remain separate, apart, and seemingly invisible to any real invitation to join them or have my chance at a restart, new friends, a new job, a new home, new stuff for a home. Instead everything in a life continues to elude me. No jobs are posted to apply to. No sweeties to try and love. No friends to hang out with. No home to set up new and old stuff in. My life as it is now continues one week at a time. One day at a time. One minute at a time. One heartbeat at a time. I always hope for a chance, for true change to begin. Yet things continue as they are, seemingly stuck in this lonely and sad limbo.

Time passes

Not much has changed now. It's before class at 6:15. I got a call to take the next two Sundays in addition to this Sunday, so that's a bit more monies. If it's the same 'get here before 9 don't work until noon' thing it's basically free money.

I think I'll go back to a tanking build from the DPS build I was trying with my Death Knight. It seems against my nature too much to not be tanking. Though I will still try and collect DPS gear in case someone wants me to do that role. I'll test that out with the damage meter thingy after class. I may have to come up with a different build than I had before that can do more DPS than I was doing before. I would at least want the meters to say that my blood and frost builds are roughly equal in DPS. That would be a good base to work from. I can worry about how it changes later as I collect a set of gear for DPS.

That's all for now. I'm sooo tired. My eyes have been half shut all day, but I'm not sleepy, just extremely tired.

Day 345 - 6/11 - Dumb assignment

I'm mad and sad and tired today. Last night the class got back the assignment I did just over a week ago. I spent something around 6 hours on that total with it totaling at 15 pages. I didn't expect an A, but for an Associates level class 15 pages is usually more than you do in the entire semester. Apparently I didn't follow the directions, even though I followed a page in the syllabus line by line, and I need to redo the entire thing. Apparently I was missing a lot of information I was supposed to speculate about and ask questions on. This is completely contrary to the very definition of "an observation paper". If you speculate or ask questions in any other class on the planet during an observation paper you'll be told to redo it, get a bad grade, or outright fail the assignment. And this isn't just me. Of a reported 44 papers, 4 got perfect scores, to which the professor said, "I must have done something right because they understood the directions." Yet what she failed to acknowledge was that the remaining 91% of the class got a "see me / redo" indicating that the directions are completely inadequate and students really did not understand the assignment. I think I'm going to make a survey about it and see if I can get the dean to officially give her notice that students want to do that and give us time in class. In other colleges I've gone to a survey about the teacher and their effectiveness was always given, but I haven't seen that done at my current college. Every week she bores us to tears, uses ineffectual teaching methods, says all the information she is giving is in the book, then says if you miss more than one class you can't pass. Noone feels she is an effective teacher or that they learned anything. People who wrote 20, 25, 30, 35+ page papers got "see me / redo". I'm sorry but at the Associates level assignments should be clear, have a small focus, take the average student a few hours to do, and be 3-4 pages in length total. Requiring them to spend 6, 8, 12, 16+ hours and expecting them to write a minimum of 20 pages without clear instructions and directions and clear grading criteria... that is so completely not ok and vastly beyond the scope of a class of this level. That's higher Bachelors and near Masters level requirements.

So yeah, that had me all grrr and I couldn't sleep until 3 AM. I complained with the other students at my table and a bit more after class. We have tentative plans to go out and do mutual complaining during dinner after next class, hehe. I talked about two of those peeps before, how I'd sat at their table and saw them at Panda and they seemed friendly. The redhead girl is one of the cutest and most attractive girls I've ever seen. She's taken though, hehe. She seemed to recognize my rabb1t name. I wonder if she knows me from online or knows another rabb1t or if it's just one of those 'seems familiar but I don't really know you' things.

That's mostly it so far. Due to my messed up sleep I got up early. I went over and got a hot chocolate - saw the cute girl that works there that set me up last time. No acknowledgement at all, so yeah, she just did it for customer service, not because she is interested or took special notice of me. I went online and changed my Death Knight build yet again. It's back to tanking. I like it most and it is different from my frost build, so that alone is enough. It gives me different tactical situations to use each. I'll leave DPS to others or just collect gear for it and leave it at that.

That's it so far. It's only 11 but I doubt there will be other news.

Day 346 - 6/12 - Crash over

I'm feeling pretty good today so far. I actually slept in a bit as I stayed asleep until just about the time I needed to get up. I think it's been about a week since I've done that; I've kept waking up like 1 hour early lately.

I decided to play a bit yesterday. The first half of my time was great. I went through two instances and we ran them just about flawlessly, only one death. The other two I did during my time were not so good. We had a bad healer for one and wiped about a dozen times. The second time I don't know what we were doing wrong but we wiped half a dozen times.

I think I'm ok on DPS for where I am and the gear I have. A few others were doing around my DPS, a few Rogues referenced 4-5k in their LFG calls, and someone my class referenced 2.5k (double mine), so I don't think I'm super terrible being that I'm tank spec with tank gear. I'll pick up DPS gear over time and not worry about it. It will probably take months to get since I can't group often, but I'm in no super rush. I'll try and drop down to just one day a week as well to reduce costs too since I don't gain much in the way of gear for how much I'm spending.

I was super sad last night. I'm so tired of not having a private space for me and my stuff, a place to play my games, watch my movies, and cook real food. As long as my car is ok I have a way to get around and can find safe places at night, but it's making me so sad lately, and I don't know how much longer it will be before I can recover, especially without help.

Time passes

It's just past 5:30 at gym mini work. I got the second/last check from the insurance people. The car crash stuff is finally over. I'll deposit the check tomorrow, didn't have time today. I took a shower and I'm microing some dinner now.

I have a lead on a possible BlizzCon ticket. I don't know if I'll get it though, as the person may or may not wind up using it. Plus there is the whole 'it would take all my savings between now and then to afford it' issue. We'll see. Fate plays a hand in everything these days. I was reminded of that earlier when I couldn't access the game wirelessly. Seems that the net was down where I normally access it on Friday, so I checked a local shop movie kiosk for movies and finally got a hold of Get Smart; should be some good lolz.

Dinner is ready, gotta run. K thx bye.

Day 347 - 6/13 - Uneventful Saturday

It's nearing 2:15 and I'm nomming a snack. After I'll do some time on boards bla blaing, looking at jobs, and maybe helping some peeps. I did my laundry and at around 3:30 I'll go to play some at the game center. I got my movie for tomorrow already, so I wouldn't forget. And that's it for today really. I don't expect anything interesting or surprising to happen, though I always hope for (good) surprises.

Hope everyone's day is going good.

Day 348 - 6/14 - Work, work, work

When I woke up this morning at the weekend school sleeping spot the lot was full of vans and SUVs. Yesterday and today they were running some event. It was quiet enough though - for the most part - that I could sleep until I needed to head out to work.

I'm so sleepy (and sad) today. I was shocked awake by my alarm while having a nice dream about meeting a girl who said she would be interested in flirting with me if I were. The dream went strangely after that though and changed to one where there was a life sized jade Lion. Someone broke it, the shards fell down some stairs. Among the 'shards' was the "Jade Warrior", a life size person made out of green and black jade. He was laying flat at the bottom of the steps face down. Despite his materials, he looked Mayan in dress style. He had a sword on his right side, which meant he originally had two. I saw the second sword on the ground a bit away from him and went towards it as he started to get up, as I knew only his swords would be able to damage him. Anyways...

It's just after 9:30 at gym mini work. I've got until about noon before anyone shows up. I may work on that stupid paper re-do later, I may not. I was planning to, but with how immensely sleepy I am my defenses against my sad thoughts are few, so I'm also very sad. In a home I could flip that around, but out in the wild it will be difficult. I still have all my Monday and all Wednesday after work to do it, 8+ hours per day, so I'm not worried.

I got into a raid last night and got a loot. They are going to finish today I think, but I wasn't asked if I could come. I don't know if that's because I mentioned I was homeless and paying for my time or if it was just an oversight because I wasn't chatting in Vent. There will be plenty of time to see if I get an email invite before I need to go to the game center to play. I'll look for one after work. Also, I've decided to tweak my Death Knight spec again. There is one ability that would have been very helpful to have last night. It seems more and more important for tactics at the heroic dungeon and raid levels, so I'll go ahead and move some points to get that.

That's all I can think of. Oh, I did buy Plants vs. Zombies. That's a fun casual game I can play offline wherever I go.

That's it so far. K thx bye.

Time passes

I'm at a second mini gym shift. It seems someone who was supposed to show up hasn't. So today will be basically an 8-hour day. I suppose that's good as I need the money, but not good as this was not how I planned on spending my day.

I decided to not get another movie in an attempt to see if I could at least do some work on that dumb paper rewrite. With just under two hours left it's possible, but very unlikely I'll finish. I really don't know how much rewriting the 14 pages will take. Seriously though, at 14 pages for an Associates level class that should get an A, period. Papers at that level should be 3-4 pages, even a final shouldn't be more than 5-6. Saying you won't accept a student's paper and 14 pages isn't good enough... that's not ok.

Anyways, today is certainly not going as expected. Will it be good? Will it be a positive movement of one in the world that will alter my decisions to more favorable outcomes? I doubt it.

Time passes

I spent a little bit of time at the game center. I was too bleh to not. I will be easing off quite a bit though. There is just too little to gain if I can't get into a raid. It is still very fun, but not if that fun is going to keep costing a lot.

It's nearing 9 now. I think I'll go over to a closed Starbucks and do some board posting and job surfing. Doing that is really one of the only quiet/private times I get. It's still in public, sure, but if noone is around then my being alone in my car is the closest I get to private time.

I did a fair bit of work on that stupid paper. I also wrote a complaint that I'll give to the dean of the department. I hate to sound like a brat or whatever, but that professor just has completely unrealistic expectations of students at that level, particularly when not supplying any kind of real directions or grading criteria.

Anyways... the night is nearly over. A sad and busy end to what could have been an otherwise salvageable weekend had I been in an home. Lately I've been feeling pretty teary eyed about that. Almost crying. I know it's ok if I do and all; I just don't really. Things can still be worse. I still see homeless people with carts and bags walking the streets now and then. I have so much more, and so much more potential. But it is sad that potential remains untapped. It's sad that all of the things that I enjoy have to be at a reduced frequency and muchly reduced level compared to basically everyone else. Sad life is saaaddd.

Day 349 - 6/15 - Thought jumble

I'm at school trying to do that stupid paper. It's about 4:45. It's been really cloudy and sprinkling rain today. I'm getting hungry, might eat early. I'm soooo tired. The past few days my brain hasn't been able to think. I can react. I can do my regular stuff. But, uncommon information is extremely difficult to remember. I've been putting my towel under me at night. It kind of evens out the seat so that it's flatter. So I'm sleeping a bit better, but I don't know that I'm sleeping enough. I got about 8 hours last night, but I was awake more than an hour sooner than I had to be.

I printed the letter to the dean. I'll probably drop that off later.

I think I'll pick up my keyboard and mouse from storage. I've been thinking my regular mouse would be a lot nicer and not a whole lot bigger than the small one I got. The keyboards at the game center can be icky, and due to being different in design they slow my reactions down. If I'm going to go once a week regularly and continue to be homeless a while longer I may as well take them. I saw a regular (visitor) bring his keyboard and it seemed like a good idea.

That's all for now. K thx bye.

Time passes

It's nearing 8. I feel a bit better, but I'm still sleepy and out of it. I just now discovered that I have to do some week-long training poo this week. I really hope it's not spirit building exercise kinds of things. Just sitting in a room listening to procedures for a few extra hours would be ok though. I hate those team spirit things. If someone is happy with their job, decently paid, and gets decent benefits you don't have to build spirit, they will have it.

Done with dinner now - an uneventful day. I need to buy some foods, but that's really all I'll be doing with the rest of my night. 'Night peeps.

Day 350 - 6/16 - Seminars begin

Had some of my first seminar things this morning. They had breakfast foods, so I got some free nom. There are a couple of cute girls in there. Way too young though. There was some team spirit building, but not too much. At 8 AM that's way too early for my brain to participate, particularly when I don't have a home to shower and rev myself up first.

Unfortunately these trainings are going to put me pretty short on time to finish the paper. I'll have about one hour between ending there and needing to be in class today, and about two hours tomorrow. I'll try and do some work on it here, but it is already nearing 11:45. I'll probably wind up needing to do it after class and wind up being forced to stay awake until way too late. Well, at least the class is almost over and I can avoid that professor in the future.

That's it so far today. I'm still burnt out from all this getting up early for the weekend shifts and now I have to do it all this week too.

At least I have Saturday off, so that can be a regular sleep in for the morning, be at school for a few hours, then go play day. Sunday night I've got a new movie to watch too, so that should be fun.

That's it for now, probably it for the day / fail week. Bye peeps.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008, 2009
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)

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