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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.

Day 57 - 8/27 - Aie Aie Aie

So there is one of those "radio asses" (people who play their music way too loud) in the parking lot, but here is the thing - I actually kind of like this one. It's not too loud, and it's fun mariachi music. Most of all, his system is actually very well balanced in tonal range. Most radio asses just go for boompa boompa boom and it sounds like they are damaging the structural integrity of their car by rattling all its parts loose. Not this guy. He's like the first ever I've heard that could be a live mariachi band not too far off (being broadcast through a speaker, like at a carnival.)

There is a really beautiful super cute redhead that comes to the morning spot. I may have to leave a shy secret admirer note on her car. I'll watch her a few more times and see if she seems like she'd be scared by it or to be sure I want to do it. She wouldn't ever date me (well, odds are extremely against it), but sometimes I just like to remind the girls that they are attractive.

Once for Valentines day I wrote a poem about someone I saw in the hall across from a class I was taking and gave her a rose in a glass swan when I gave it to her. (Safeway will make you that for I think like $10, I forget. Best deal ever for rose gifts compared to like $5 for just the rose.) She said it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her and that noone had been that romantic towards her before. Another time a girl came in for a final all disaster style - like she'd just gotten out of bed and didn't put on makeup or straighten up because she stayed up so late. I gave her a note saying she still looked beautiful and if someone can still look as attractive and beautiful in that state it shows how naturally beautiful they are. I later heard from her roommate that the note made her happy and she was floating around for weeks because of it and it turned her whole day around for her. (I forget why, but she wasn't single or available to date.)

Anyways... odd morning thoughts. Off to the slow library. I guess it's a long weekend, so I may not see much job posting this week or the first days of next week. Well, that slow activity will give me time to do some apps for unusual places (ones that take a long ass time to fill the app out for) and maybe do an on-paper update of my graphic card recommendations. Already made a chart to help me out, since I can't flip open like 10 windows and flip back and forth like I normally do. These computers are too crappy for that. The school ones would be fine for it, but no access there till the 22nd, and I'll bet it will be totally crazy that first week. I'll bet I will have limited access those first few weeks.

Time passes

Put out an app this morning, got a reply within 1 hour, which is highly unusual. Interview is set for Tuesday, but that means there are likely 20+ other interviews before me, not counting after me. It would be an ok job at ok pay. It would not be a job I believe in the cause for, or that would further my career progress, but it would be a teeny bit over my minimum budget. (Though gas to get there may negate some of that.)

So warm today - borderline hot. Good thing I wore shorts. Thought about doing laundry, kind of needs to be done, but I'll do it tomorrow.

Five hour chunk of time to kill. Figure half here at Best Buy then half at Golfland; should be moderately interesting. Now that it's not really summer and schools are going again the weekday crowd at Golfland is thin. Plus, I worry that said locations are starting to recognize me; best to stay at the edges of view and keep my inside presence low.

Sooo sleepy. Maybe I'll try and nap. I got spotted on my way in to the church spot with my lights off, so I quickly made it look like I was turning around or something and pulled back out. Not super suspicious, as it would just seem I was going with my lights off to not disturb people. I doubt the person with double armloads of stuff gave me a second thought, but it does reinforce that I shouldn't be there before 11 if I want to be careful. Only like 5-6 hours sleep.

Can't think of much else to say. I'd love to be sitting somewhere updating my site, but can't. Maybe some day I'll win some money to get my Asus Eee PC 1000H or someone will be super nice/generous and donate one to me.

That's it for now I think. zzzzzz

Time passes

*cough* *hack* Ah! Gods! Halp!... old dude... smells like a bottle of Bengay used to put out burning rubber *cough* People who put on smells really need to have a scent checker 'cause eee-gads, some people.

Time passes

My evening actually turned out pretty good. I spent a good portion of my evening library time looking through job postings. I actually submitted four to five resumes, one of which was for an entry level paralegal. It was like old times, which is sad, as the 'old times' were only one month ago. How odd is that, eh? That's how Fate works. I mention it a few weeks ago *poof* a possibility follows. That may be Fate.

I saw Christina again. I've only seen her like twice since she was nice to me on day 29. I was finally able to catch the 5-10 second window to give her the thanks note with cookies (and $0.25 to pay back the $0.04 hehe). She was all, 'awww thanks, tee hee.' She disappeared after reading the note into the back for a minute or so. I think she may have nommed a cookie or two and put the rest away in her private stuff area. (They get like lockers or something in the back to put regular cloths and stuffs in.) She seemed a bit less tense and happier after she came out, so hopefully the note did and/or will do some cheering up. Cheezburger jobs are very stressful and like no one (customers) are ever nice to you really. I wonder why Fate made it so I couldn't get her the note until now? Odd to wait 28 days, an entire month.

I have to stop listening to my tummy sometimes. It was all, 'I'm totally hungry gimmie gimmie gimmie double cheezburger.' And I'm all, 'ok, ok, calm down.' Now it's all, 'zomg too much foods. Going to explode.' So, from now on Panda bowl, not two item meal +1 for teh free, and single cheezburger, not double. Too much foods is too much, even if it is only a teeny bit more cost. (Unless, of course, it's like pizza or chicken and saves well.)

Time passes

Arcade madness night again, so I'm in trouble if I need the bathroom. I should be mostly ok. With 2.25 hours 'till I try and sleep I'll more than likely need to go at least once after tummy has digested a bit.

Shower in the morning, woot, but they will be locked Friday through Monday. Old-school sponge type for a bit. Though I can shower Friday night at work. I'm beginning to wonder if my repeated use of the towel is hurting these bumps on my arms - you know, carrying something from body part to body part and causing an infection/reaction. It is certainly possible and why you should change towels often. Get paid tomorrow morning, so after I pay off Comcast and AT&T we'll see if I have any flexibility to consider a second towel; won't pay more than $10 though, I just don't have it.

I'm also going to see if I can rent a laptop. I'd thought of that before, but completely forgot. I'll guess it's on the order of $100 per month, which is way too much. Though three more weeks of not being able to update is massive suck. I couldn't afford much more than $50 in my current situation, and even that is a ton right now.

Lots of rambling today. I guess a lot happened. Of course you guys just got the good parts. You don't feel the impact of the like 10 hours of nothing, heh. Um. That's probably it. k thx bye

Day 58 - 8/28 - Private Property

Early morning, around 7:45. There is a new sign at the sleeping spot, "Private Property. No Trespassing." Freaked me out quite a bit and I had a hard time getting to sleep. Noise from 3-4 blocks away would make me jump. Fell asleep at maybe 1:30 or so. I had reset my phone alarm to 6 so I only got about 4.5 hours sleep or so. I figure with the sign I should be more careful - only be there from 11 to midnight and disappear around 6-6:30. I don't think the sign is for me. People take their dogs through there and they poop/pee in the field. I think it's for them. There were still the regular half-dozen cars, so if my parked car is unwelcome so would they. We'll see I guess. So far so good. No fines or booting or anything. I know the spot can't last forever, but I don't know where I'd go if I lost it.

Time passes

Waiting for the slow library to open. I was totally hungry, so I grabbed the last lunch meat, last bread, and a small handful of baked Ruffles, oh and 7up to drink. I only took a bite of the lunch meat. I think it was bad; smelled a bit off, tossed it to be sure. The bread had a few spots of black tiny dots; may have been bad too. Tummy is a bit upset now. Guess I should avoid keeping non-salami more than two days. Salami is typically fine for three days, but things like roast beef, turkey, ham, those go bad quick. Open soon. More rambling later.

Time passes

Bleh, no jobs to apply for. The lady called back, again mentioning specific classes she was looking for. Just a message, but it's like helllooo I list the classes I've taken right there on my resume. Have to call her tomorrow. She is training noobs today. Mountain View upset me too. I applied for this part time office clerk. I'm on the "backup" list of interview people. Fricken 4+ years of general office experience and I'm on the backup list?! For a part time position?! *sigh*

Tummy needs a lunch, but there are all the high schoolers up in the lunch stores. I'll just pass and get it later. Didn't want to wait in that crazy line.

Doin' laundry now. Guess I shouldn't come this early. Nothing is on TV.

I just can't keep up with my phone bill. I had to spend more than I had allocated just to pay off 2/3 what I owe. And, I'll likely owe another like $30 in two weeks. Hopefully Comcast doesn't want a late fee or I won't be able to pay that off. I'll check that later. I have what my last bill said I owe and that's it.

Time passes

Well, Comcast is finally totally paid off. No more overdue Intarweb bill from nearly two months ago. At least that's a step forward. The Comcast girlie was totally hawt too. No cute redhead this morning though. If I had the monies I'd probably go get the Comcast cutie a swan/rose. I wonder if the receipt shows her name. Damn. Sometimes they do, not this one. Well, I know where she works if I want to flirt later. hehe

Zomg it's melt your face off temperature. If I were still in my room I'd likely be naked, with the computer off, fan on high. That's how hot it is. I'd guess it's easily 90F+. I may go to the library instead of hanging out here at Golfland. I'd be tempted to use my time early though.

Brain melting... getting sleepy...

Time passes

Phew. In an act of preservation I have escaped the heat into the library. Drinking sodas was like drinking lava, and they were shaded. Hopefully they will go back to regular taste, but I doubt it. Often times when soda gets too hot it alters the bits and kind of turns to soup.

I hope my first camera doesn't melt. It's in the glove compartment. I took the last shot earlier and now I'm on camera two.

I was right about the laptop - like $26 a week for the cheapest with a minimum one month rental. Looks like it's wait three weeks, find somewhere I can update from, or be gifted a laptop. *sigh* I hate not being able to update. Even more so not being able to run research of any kind.

4:30 now, 2 hours before I want to be on the computer. Very tempted to burn my time, but then I'd have nothing to look forward to later.

Well, at least I can spy on about three people's screens. Maybe they will reveal something interesting. Nothing so far. Just boring stuff. I hate those stupid privacy screens. If you want to give them privacy set up a little curtain or something. The privacy thing just kills the image.

Time passes

What a total noob. Instead of pushing the "log out" button, which is at the bottom of the screen and always on top of all the windows, this guy restarted the system. Noobsauce, lol. Then he goes over to a different system to use that one. Craziness.

Time passes

In the bowling spot. Just about 9 PM and it's 82F last I saw. I had to buy a drink with dinner because when I went to grab a can it was borderline hot.

I don't know if I explained the geography before. There are basically two hubs set about 8-10 minutes apart. The one I'm at now has the ex-house, the old Safeway, the bowling spot, the school (though I go to classes at a different campus), the tennis park, and the slow libraries, oh and Panda Express. The other hub has Golfland, Best Buy / PetSmart (they share a parking lot), the new Safeway, In-N-Out, and the fast library. Each hub's locations are literally 1-3 minutes drive from one another or less. I decided to save the like 10 minutes drive to Golfland as I'd only have 1 hour there then need to come back here. It is close, as I said 8-10 minutes, and like $1 in gas, but still. That's 20 minutes of driving out of 1.25 hours - wasteful.

The night check was a mixed bag. A couple of replies that people were looking at my resume, but no new ads to post to. In fact, really no new ads at all. The long weekend may have already started.

Lots of fairly mellow activity due to the heat and the holiday. A good night to have called friends for an impromptu BBQ and movie watching. At least I can rest knowing I'm not the only one who will have difficulty sleeping tonight.

I feel like crying though. Felt that way for a few hours. My poor ears and feets are soooo tired. I just want to go to my room and close the door and have my quiet time and sleep in. I'm so tired of the constant car noise and constantly having to move around and be awake when I would rather be sleeping. I wish I could afford to get a hotel room for a couple of days. Just relax, watch TV, be naked, and sleep in. *sniff* *tear*

Day 59 - 8/29 - Clocks are ticking

Some Sheriffs were at the bowling spot last night. My guess would be they found someone in their car doing underage drinking or smoking. I didn't want to give them any reason to investigate me and search my car (they searched his) so I went into the bowling alley. They were gone when I returned, but that made me super nervous again. Barely any sleep from about 12:30 to 5:30. I moved to the tennis park prior to first light, so I was safe yet another night. Got a few more hours of rest, and it's about 7:45 now.

The day will likely hit the high 80s/90s again. It is already very warm, about as warm as it was a week ago by 10.

At least I have work tonight. So from 5-10 I'll be in the air conditioned gym. Just have to worry about what to do from now till then. I've got the childcare job to look into, though if she thinks I'm missing needed classes I either don't qualify or she can't read. (I list all my classes that count for the field right there on that version of my resume.) My 3 hours of access will eat most of the time, leaving about 4 open hours between 10 AM and 5 PM.

One of my contacts has a minor tear. Not good. It's on a timer before it starts irritating my eye to the point I can't use it. I was hoping to get a new box (three pair), but at $25 it was a bit out of my affordable range what with the phone bill still being overdue. At least Comcast is finally paid, but lately the credit card people have been calling me daily, and one started making very bad sounding threats. I'm likely hitting 180+ days on them. Hopefully I can start getting enough to start paying them off again soon. Wouldn't take much, just 10 more hours a week than I already work. It boggles my mind I've been looking for over 6.5 months now and haven't been offered more than my mini-job.

Welp, critical bills and impending contact doom is it for today. Oh, meant to say I'm already past the time I should have changed the pair. They are supposed to be changed every two weeks. This one is nearly one month old now. I do have another pair of stronger contacts, but often times those give me a headache after about 4 hours, so those are only a short term / emergency use option.

But yeah, not much news for today. The day has just begun.

Oh, one very last thing. Someone drove in to the park here, then later someone pulled up along side them. A blond girl got out of the new car, and a guy got out of the previous car. They put hugs and kisses on each other. I was like yea for love! Hopefully soon I can find a sweetie of my own.

Time passes

So lately I've been trying to come up with Warcraft unit sayings - you know, what the units say when you tell them to do something. I figure eventually I'll be in a guild, and no doubt they will use voice chat. I don't really like voice, but I thought, 'You know, if I made unit sayings for my guy maybe it could be more fun.' So when people say things like, 'Petraclies', that will be my character's name, gonna reserve it ASAP, 'Go pull that critter.' I can say in voice chat something like, "Their death is my life." hehe. Wouldn't say it too much, and I'll probably have about a dozen sayings, like, "My curse consumes me," (when I come online), but it should liven things up a bit. Maybe if there are other death knights they would adopt the sayings as well. Plus, it would be easier for people to know what I'm doing, or if I'm on, if I always use the 'funny unit voice'. Of course, that may eventually be more confusing if there is my regular voice and then my 'unit voice', hehe.

Must play Lich King. Must get back into World of Warcraft.

Today is a nice day to sleep in, chill and play WoW, have some friends over for BBQ and a movie or two in the evening. I guess I've been saying that a lot lately, eh? Back in the day when I had friends I did that quite a bit. During spring/summer I'd have an announced one every 2-3 weeks (BBQ/movie night) and unannounced one on occasion. I've never really had 'enough' friends I guess, or ones that lived close enough. I'd usually only get 2-3 people per event. Much more fun with 5-6 I think. If I recall, the biggest movie night success was one that turned into a Spawn marathon. I think 8-10 people were there total. Typically though, in my past life (as any new friends will be part of the new life I'm transitioning to) I got maybe three people on the average. Not terribly fun, as they weren't very excited about the events and rarely had anything to say or talk about. I guess 2-3 would be ok if they were best friends you had tons of fun with, like you see on Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother.

Zomg, only 9:10 and I'm starving. Already had a Pop Tart and Pepsi earlier. I think it's due to lack of sleep / more awake time. Think I'll go grab a taco, or maybe some breakfasty thing if they haven't flipped to a lunch menu, then head over to wait for the slow library to open.

Time passes

Nommed a tasty taco for teh cheap. As I did so gamer wedding vows popped into my head... I (name) take (name) teh have and to hold, no drop or soulbound, in leet and in epic fail... hehe. I'm sure it's been done. .

Time passes

Zomg so hungry today. Got another soft taco. Those are very tasty for $1 and don't have too much cheese. It is super hot today, but not quite as hot as I expected due to a breeze. It's about 1, so it likely won't get too much hotter. Peak temperature time is around 1 to 2.

As expected, there weren't any job postings on the main board, but there were two on the college site at ~$3,700 per month. A bit above my experience/qualifications, but either would be

Those reading who are younglings; don't be so shy. Be friendly and open towards others. People are naturally curious and you may find more are interested to know about you than you think. Don't be nervous or worried about failing, everyone has those feelings and it happens to everyone. Just acknowledge your feelings, remember everyone has them, and move on. I used to have this saying, "Don't worry - just go." It means if you spend all your time worrying about something, not acting on those thoughts or desires, nothing will happen. If instead you act on them things will progress. Say you are too nervous to ask a girl out. Well, if you are nervous and don't ask nothing will ever happen (unless she asks you, heh). But, if you ask her, then things will progress - she will either say yes, and things will be happy, or say no, but at least then you know she isn't interested and you can move on to somewhere else. I was really introverted and shy most of my life, and in a way you can say I still am. Through pretty much all of high school I made hardly any friends and really never asked any girls out. At the end of my senior year I decided to stop worrying. I discovered that about three of the five cuties I was interested in would have said yes, but with it being so close to summer and the end of school they were making plans to move on. So, don't fear trying out that new food, that new hobby, speaking in front of people, asking someone out or saying how you feel - be open and as confident and as open minded about the experience as you can and you may find that life will surprise you more often than you expected. Experience things for the experience. For good, or for bad, experience is experience and something new you will have from then on.

Heh, more sadness about not having access. Did I mention I was considering making a rabb1t page for home entertainment stuff? Yeah, turns out someone else posted asking for recommendations. Had I access I could have just sent them to my new page and had links up and everything. So, I'm sad that's not up/created yet. But yeah, at this point, even though lifespans on those items are like 10 years due to the industry moving so slowly, I think I'll do it.

Time passes

Hot. Brain melting. Getting sleepy. Tempted to drop $4 on the tank top thing even though they don't have colors I really like. Blue wouldn't be super bad I suppose. It could be my super tank, heh. (For Superman blue.)

Time passes

Phew. Much cooler than my t-shirt, though it's meh (the new tank top). But hey, it was like $4.35 hehe. The collar is much tighter than I like, and it's baby blue which is hum. Normally I wear gray or black, white on rare occasion. But, I didn't have much choice. It was this or extra large, which looked like I was a convict it was so oversized and odd looking. I guess I can look again in a few days. The clothing person says trucks come nightly, but what they get is random.

On the plus side I can has Soul Calibur 4 demo. There is a GameStop right next to Target and they had the game running. Zomg must buy. I'll probably check it out a few more times to see the different features, like creating your character and various modes. The real reason I went in was to check on an application I sent in. I sent one in back around late March and the bossy girl has told me (several times now) that I was at the top of the interview pile. She hasn't gotten the ok from corporate to hire more peeps though. She has to wait for the Holliday season, which she said she would probably get the ok in about a month. So, that's at least a possible something still.

I did a much better job protecting my soda today. It's got a double layer of protection, and I was sure it was all covered. Still... a far cry from fresh out of the fountain or from out of the fridge. At least it's only a bit below 'room' temperature, and not lava temperature like it was yesterday.

2.5 hours till mini-work with 1 hour of library access... what to do, what to do...

Time passes

I'm not seeing much difference in my reduced Pepsi diet. I am seeing a much greater impact in food choice. Like the other day I was really hungry, so I got a Panda Express two item +1 for teh free. I got double broccoli beef and sweet and sour pork, ignoring my normal broccoli beef / Beijing beef split. My tummy was overly full, but it didn't really complain. Also, since I've not been doing salami my tummy is fine with lunch meat. So I'll likely stick to my Pepsi / Slice (or 7up) split. In a perfect world I'd also have a tiny bit of Root Beer or Hawaiian punch. On very rare occasion I could go for those.

Oddly this stupid gym is not air conditioned. I think now, only 45 minutes after the fact, my shower has been negated.

Dinner for teh free tonight. Teh rabb1t friend/fan gave me some foods last time we did lunch, so I'm going to nom some dry micro foods. Hopefully my soda will cool down in the mini-fridge by the time it is time to eat.

Nothing in the evening check. Mostly watched Psych. Helping out a couple of people, as usual, but these were just minor helping. Mostly threads that had already been tended to. Damn homelessness and not being able to just grab links at my site, makes doing recommendations tough when I have to second guess and pull searches every time.

The childcare person didn't return my call. She seems... flakey. Of course she seemed that way already what with not contacting me till one month after getting my resume.

Ah well, I go where the wind takes me. *puts arms out* Shwooshuooowoooo *spins and flys off with the wind*

Day 60 - 8/30 - Gray skies

Gray skies this morning when I was up at about 6:30; kind of sprinkled on me. The first section of my fingers and palm of my right hand have been... feeling puffy when I wake up for a few days now. It must be losing circulation at night or something. About 9 now. Clouds are clearing. The sun is starting to peek through and warm things up.

For some reason I'm having a mental block on the slow library's open time. Checking back it looks like 10, so I'll go do that soon. The slow library will be closed tomorrow, cutting my access drastically short, leaving only 1 hour total. Monday both are closed.

Going to be tough making it to my next paycheck. Due to the bill paying I only have about $25 left for food to last me 10 days, and $25 reserved for gas could quickly be spent if I need to do an interview. It's insanity. I've got two unopened 12-packs, which at an average drinking speed for me is 6-8 days, so I'll have to go super conservative if I can. Maybe I'll get a donation and get a little flexibility. Or, maybe my math is a touch off and I have a bit more to spend. I hope to the gods it's not less. There is a very small chance I tossed some spare into savings, but I'm pretty sure it only has like $2. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten the super tank, but gods, my t-shirts were so much warmer.

Gonna be a sad weekend I think. Nothing to look forward to and nothing to hope for. Well, not anything firm, and certainly nothing that would change before Tuesday. Without a surprise change I see tough times ahead.

Time passes

Won a tiny bit of monies Friday's lotto. Woot. hehe. Only $8, so I can't do much, but it gives me the wiggle room to have a few more foods, gas, and well lotto, heh. I probably shouldn't do it, but, meh, it's a few bucks a week to potentially win way more. I wouldn't have to get all six numbers to do well, four or higher is often $5k+. The last five number winner got like $247k. Even cutting that by half for taxes, that's still roughly $125k. That would completely wipe out all my current credit and school loan debt and leave me like $50k to completely restart my life. I could totally move down south to Santa Monica / Santa Barbara and not need to worry about money for a while. But anyways... even just $1k would be immensely happy - get me a laptop and some wiggle room, or, like now, even just a tiny bit can make a difference and lift my spirits. Lets me know Fate is still watching out for me.

I'm surprised at the not-crowd here at Golfland. Only like 20% of the lot is full. Everyone is likely doing BBQs and having fun with friends.

Speaking of which, got a PM from someone asking if I'd gotten back on my feet yet. Always good to hear from well wishers.

That's really it. The boards were actually fairly quiet. Not surprising, as boards often quiet down on weekends, more so on holidays.

Saw something on Puzzle Kingdom. I was totally hooked on Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords, so hearing about a second sequel is cool. (The first one I heard of was Puzzle Quest: Galactrix). The other day I saw an announcement for Alien Crush Returns for WiiWare. Back in the day Alien Crush was one of the coolest pinball games out there. Alien Crush Returns looks to be just as cool in a revised new school way.

Just after 1. Going to the fast library around 4. Unlikely anything will happen till then save for a nap.

Time passes

Not really anything new to report after the night check. Helped someone pick a "good HDTV between $300-500". It couldn't be done as I define "good" as having 1080p certification. The Samsung LN32A550 is the most roxor in the low price range. I think it was about $850, so above his range, but he did seem amazed by the specs (because, no doubt, what he was looking at prior to that was at most 720p or lower). I think he'll get it and be super happy. I may get one myself once I'm re-established, though I'd like to target the 37" or 40" one, maybe even the A650 type if I can to get 120Hz. There is a fairly steep price jump for that though right now, about 30-40% increase. So... yeah. Helped him out, did a few posts of chit chat, but mostly watched the rest of Psych and part of Monk. Sucks I have to watch my shows for this season small, on bad screens, with bad video (kind of jerky due to bandwidth restrictions), with meh sound (2.0 and kind of digital crackly at barely audible volume). I guess I should be happy I can at least watch four of my roughly seven shows that are currently airing. Three to five more start up around the 22nd. I know a couple of them will be online for teh free, but not all.

The sun is starting to go down. Nearly time for dinner. Wish I could be cooking a regular dinner and watching a something during dinner tonight. Saturdays, sometimes Sundays as well, I will usually 'check' a DVD. When I buy a Blu-ray or regular DVD I watch them pretty quickly to be sure nothing is wrong with it and needs to be returned. That or I watch whatever bad Sci-Fi pictures movie is running. It's my Saturday (and sometimes Sunday) movie thing. It's a traditional thing and I miss it. I guess it's one of the few private time things I did, though whoever wanted was welcome to join me. Often I'll have a NetFlix account going and watch what I rented Saturday / Sunday. I'll often call these times the "Summer of movies" or "Winter of movies" because I have, in the past, only activated my account for a month or two, then shut it down for like six months. There just aren't that many movies for me to watch typically to keep it active all the time. My queue is currently the biggest it's ever been at something approaching 40 movies.

Sun is still pretty high, not yet dusk. Transitions are odd times. Not really what was, but not really what will be. They are only really their own thing and nearly every one is different. Though this transition has gone on far longer than I expected, pushing 60+ days now, hopefully it too can serve as a strange place for you readers as well - a place that opens the doorway to something just a bit different in your lives. Perhaps to something wonderful.

Day 61 - 8/31 - None for me

The tennis park people always remind me of the Sims. They come in and they do their thing around the various things, but they also group up, socialize, separate. It's like there are walkers, tennis people, stretchers/joggers, Tai Chi people and sometimes, particularly at the slow library, there are these martial artists. They have this attack pose they stand in, circling the tree to be sure it doesn't attack; must be a dwarven thing.

Not sleepy today, despite getting only about 6 hours of sleep. It got really cold last night. I had to put on the super tank under my night shirt around 9 to stay warm. Kept it on through the night and I was barely warm enough till around 6 when my legs were super cold and it started to get light. About 7 now, mostly done with the transition from dawn and I'm still freezing.

Big day of just about nothing to look forward to. I'll just go see if there is a WiiLine later. That's always nice to be a part of, even though I'm not a part of it. That and one hour of library access is it for today. Slow library is closed today, because they are lame, and both are closed tomorrow.

Good day to play a Wii. I think I've just been in a Wii mood lately after seeing Alien Crush Returns and Puzzle Kingdom. That plus the WiiWare that's already out, like Strong Bad's Cool Adventure for Attractive People, Gyrostarr, and Animales de la Muerte seem like so much fun.

But no... no sleeping in for me in a comfy bed. No playing my Wii. No warming back up in preparation for Lich King. Instead I'm out here in my freezing cold car, with nothing to do really for days on end.

Couple of offers lately from people online to help with housing or jobs, but no one even close to my area. If one came up that was close, or somewhere I could get to, I may consider such a switch.

Heh, they even talk like Sims because it's usually Japanese, Korean, or whatever it is Indians speak - I don't understand any of it. I tried the Sims once briefly. It was sad because my person was always alone and was getting old before they really got anywhere with their job. (Sounds familiar, eh? ) Too sad 'cause I like to see my characters progress in a positive way and celebrate victories with them. It's probably a big part of why I've had female characters a lot. Makes me feel like I'm part of a girl's life and she's sort of a virtual sweetie I can care for and celebrate victories or dread defeats with. Of course, a lot of my psyche is considered more female than male, being that I like to window shop for stuff I want, I'm kind, considerate, emotional, serious, but also silly sometimes, get lost or I'm forgetful with directions, etc. So, often times, in a female body people feel the personality fits the sex, whereas I'm often not treated well in male bodies. It's why I'll go gnome with my Death Knight. I have gnomish characteristics - serious, intelligent, tinkering, but also silly and emotional - so I think that will fit in well. Plus, I think if I'm going to play a game long-term I'll likely stick to male characters from now on. I wonder if I'd have gone male gnome with my Warrior if I'd have been happier over time instead of my female human. Once people start finding out that female character is a male they often times get weird about it and give you crap for it. Gender and identity really go beyond the scope of this journal, as it is a complex topic best left for live and lengthy discussion, but often times people have a hard time grasping that identity, particularly gender identity, is not bound to biology, and that different cultures will view gender identity differently.

Just past 7:30. Guess I'll go to the bathroom and get ready to move over to Target. I'm sure I can stay here, but being a smaller lot, on a BBQ weekend, I don't want to just sit here in my car taking up space.

Time passes

Well, I was going to wait for GameStop then play Soul Calibur for a few, but they didn't open 'till 11. Came over to Best Buy, but there doesn't seem to be a WiiLine. That's sad. People watching is really my only time killer other than rambling to you guys.

On page 122 now. That's 40 pages past what's posted. That's like 10-15 hours of typing to get caught up. And there are still three weeks until I can get access again. Lately I've given serious consideration to sneaking a space in the garage to set up my system, at least then I could type it in. I wouldn't have connectivity, so I couldn't upload it, but at least some would be ready. I doubt that would work though; not enough space and I'd only have a few hours of truly safe time to do it.

You know, I should really try that Guitar Hero game some day. Over the years I've watched super popular movies because of their popularity and some of them are among my favorite movies. Those kind of games aren't my thing though, and as you know I don't listen to music, but hey I'd try it out for teh lolz. You never know right?

10:30, still no WiiLine. They must not have gotten any Wii stuff.

It's so weird to see everyone going about their day. All have places to be, all have things to buy where I'm watching them, all but me. I don't get it. Target and In-N-Out burger have had help wanted signs for weeks, yet neither offered me a job. Why leave me effectively unemployed and the job unfilled when they could have offered it to me? Would it not be fine to allow an overqualified person to work? Target said I was way overqualified and would know way more than anyone at the store about the stuff in the area I was applying to. Isn't this a good thing for you? Maybe if you were allowed to hire people like me the store wouldn't have the perception all the employees were idiots. Seems pretty dumb to me. You've got an opening, I need a job, win win there. Nope. Instead you are left not finding an employee and I'm out here still in my car. Sure, I understand that teens and noobs need the entry jobs, but if that opening remains I don't get why they can't hire a pro if they need the job.

Maybe I should just be a consultant, have a card that reads, "pro at life," and help people understand themselves and how to self motivate, heh. Not enough credentials to counsel, but isn't it a crazy thought I could easily get $50 an hour, maybe even $100 an hour, if I were a life coach? Pen & Teller did a show on it once. I don't think the life coaches they showed had any credentials at all.

Small group of people out here now. No Wii announcements though. Ah well. In 15 minutes they will be open and I can pee and see what demos are running. Kill a bit of time with that I guess.

Time passes

Fate tossing me another breadcrumb. I go in to Best Buy to kill some time and notice the console area has been rearranged. When you enter that section now there is a copy of Guitar Hero on it's own like 40" with bose sound system and two controllers. Well, would have been running if it weren't failing to connect. Just a Sony style blue screen saying the HDMI isn't hooked up correctly. But see? That's Fate playing it's funny hand. Here I am homeless, 60+ days now, only now do I think maybe I should see if there are any Guitar Hero demos for teh lolz, then *BAM* when the store is open one is set up. Coincidence? Maybe. It's Fate I say. Now... what does it mean? Particularly since it wasn't running? Who can say. I'll just take it as a second breadcrumb from Fate for two days in a row (the other being the lotto) and try and keep my spirits up. Take it as a 'thanks for holding' from Fate, heh. Helped some peeps too. They are asking about a wireless something for Wii, didn't quite hear their conversation, but as I left the store I saw them and mentioned they should check Amazon for Wii stuff and they were all, "Oh yeah, good idea." Apparently their kitties ate through the Wii sensor bar cable... in four places. Zomg bad kittah! Nice peeps, but they seemed to be in their own mental space. I'd have given them a rabb1t card if they officially introduced themselves. I don't just randomly look for friends when I help nice peeps. That'd be weird, heh.

Soooo yeah, um just under 12 hours remain 'till I 'go to bed' and all I've got is some time with Soul Calibur and one hour at the library. Already ate lunch. That's sitting fairly heavy in the tummy. I should avoid salami, but it does the best out-of-fridge of all the lunch meats. Roast beef, turkey, and ham, are basically one day foods (not in the fridge).

Oh, here is a lol for you. Behind the new Guitar Hero display is a similar one for Rock Band. This noob was sitting there, older guy, I'd guess about 45, trying to get past the start menu and play. He's repeatedly pressing the Xbox logo button. The media bar pops open, in plain English in the corner it shows which buttons are forward or back out of the menu. He opens and closes the media bar like three times via the Xbox logo button, not figuring out to push one of the other four buttons at the main menu screen. I don't own a 360, but I was considering loling at the noob and pushing X to start him on his way (guessing that X is the main key for Xbox.) I decided to keep my silence and walk away. Anyone that noob probably has... issues.

Oh, there was this cool thing I saw. There was a family there, mom and two boys, I'd guess 8 and 10. They were checking out Rock Band. The older one was super excited about it and reassuring his brother they would bet better at it. It was cool because it was obvious they liked the game, but that the reason they liked it so much was because it offered them something to do together. That was nice to see. The brother liked doing stuff with his younger brother and they liked working as a team. I've never had siblings, but from what I know of them it would have been more common to see one bragging they would be better than the other, or they would beat them. Kudos to them for that. It's not something I see very often in family interaction.

Time passes

Not really anything on the boards for the night check. Very quiet, likely due to the holiday. Watched the rest of Monk. Tried to watch part of Eureka, but the site wasn't connecting for some reason. The only thing left to look forward to tonight is dinner. And that isn't really a big deal, as it is yet again a choice of fast food A, B or C. Well, ok, I suppose I could also try El Pollo Loco or Popeyes, but still. I pass by a steakhouse on my trip between hubs and it was like zomg yuuuuuummm, tummy wants steak and potatoes! Maybe once I get some regular income again I can go to a not fast food restaurant once in a while.

Bowling ball boob old dude was at the library again. heh.

Didn't manage any Soul Calibur time. I kind of forgot about it. I was fading in quasi-sleep most of the day, so time passed quickly. I wasn't sleepy early on but then from 8-9 I was pretty zonked and again from 1-2.

Time passes

Oh, I discovered I can have a free salad with my cheezburger. What I do is get it plain, because I don't usually like stuff in there, then get the lettuce and tomato on the side. It's for teh free, keeps them cold, so it's a small side salad for teh free, heh.

Time passes

Ug. I totally just want to "go home", cook a regular dinner, watch a movie and go to bed early. This whole thing is like one of those terrible fever dreams where you don't like what is going on, but you know it's a dream, fight to get up, get up in the dream, realize you are still in the dream and it starts over and keeps going in circles over and over.

Teh rabb1t needs a new home and hugs 'till he feels better. *sniff* *tear*

Day 62 - 9/1 - Demo day

Happy Labor day to all the peeps out there. I wish I could say that in a quick blog update instead of in Epic Fail that you can't read until like a month later.

Today will hopefully be demo day. I'm chilling in the Target lot 'till what I'm hoping will be GameStop opening at 10. I'll play a bit of Soul Calibur if I can, then it will be off to Best Buy, where hopefully I can play Guitar Hero, see what all that craze is about. Aaannnd that's it. That's my whole day. With zero Internet access it's going to be a very long and very slow day. Odd there are no cars here, maybe 20 total. On a normal day at this time there would be twice that by now. I'd have guessed that till noon people would be going crazy at Labor day sales, then from noon on going to BBQs. How odd that doesn't seem to be the case.

Sooo ummm... good morning peeps *wave* That's all I've got. Hope you all are having a good day and so begins my day... Ready? Annnddd go! *opens eyes wide to bulge them out in a staring blankly position*

Time passes

No Soul Calibur for me yet. The guy had no demo stations running and I didn't want to bug him. They changed out the screen for Guitar Hero, so it was running. Took me a while to figure out the control, but once I did I got the hang of it. I did easy mode and by game three I not only finished the song, but got high score. I decided to keep playing. I got high score for all of the easy mode demo songs, getting 30-45k score each, and got a few 50 note and 60 note runs. Teh rabb1t pwns all other store noobs so far today by like double or more. I can see the appeal. If you know / like the song it can be pretty fun, though you can't really watch the show if you are playing. I got completely pwned on medium though. Teh rabb1t brain can only handle three notes, too noob for four notes. I guess I killed an hour playing the demo, heh.

Soooo... guess I'll go grab some lunch nom, I'm pretty hungry, then head over to Golfland.

Time passes

Faded out there for a bit after lunch. I was dreaming about something strange, but forgot what it was when I was woken by a crash on the fence in front of me - stray golf ball I rescued for someone.

There is no traffic anywhere. The normal roar/rush behind me is a quiet whisper. My ears get a nice break today, but not my eyes. Everything is so bright *covers eyes* even with glasses mid-day sun repeated over and over is ouch on my eyeballs.

Today is a good waterslide day. There are some kind of close if I recall. Like 1/2 hour or 45 minutes to the south.

Time passes

I decided to try out Popeyes based on Adam Sandler's recommendations in his movies. After nearly a full day at Golfland, roughly 8 solid hours, my brain had completely gone numb so I thought I'd try something new to wake it back up. Unfortunately Popeyes is at the high-end of the fast food price range, so it did a fair bit more damage to my wallet than I expected. But, refills were free and at 2.75 fills that got me about four soda cans worth of drink. (I've been super thirsty today.) It's Louisiana style food, which for the west coast is extremely rare. They had I think it's red beans and rice and Jambalaya, both well known Louisiana foods. There were also lots of sea food meal options if people want that. The restaurant had some atmosphere, which was cool. I'd rate it above McDonalds & K.F.C. for yumminess of food and value per dollar. Although, the fries were spicy fries and the chicken strips were in a seasoned batter, so this first meal absolutely destroyed my delicate tummy. I'm sure it would be fine for a normal person.

Over the years I've thought about owning a restaurant. It wouldn't have a normal atmosphere though. The one I would be more likely to ever do would be the 'Adventurer's lodge' or 'Safari room'. The tables would have a decent amount of space between them, yet have winding paths with lots of plants along the walls and between the tables. There would also be a small river that went to a pond with animatronic gators. (This would be near the front of the restaurant for people to look at while waiting and cross to get to table areas.) Additionally there would be all kinds of animatronic critters, so it would feel like you are in the middle of the jungle. Also, on occasion, maybe Friday and Saturday night at 8, we'd have a special theme dinner show where you'd get to be there like, I don't know, maybe 2 or 3 hours for shows. They could be fire dancers, maybe a lion show (though that is unlikely in that small of a setting, and the insurance cost, fooooo), or small animal show. On other nights there could be live music, like maybe tropical music shows rotating 15 minutes on, 45 minutes off or something. The other one I thought of would be more of a dance club idea; have the inside be like a haunted mansion. Have windows to the 'outside', but it's always night and stormy, and sometimes you could see ghost images in the windows.

Anyways... not much happening today. Just a bunch of staring at golfers.

Day 63 - 9/2 - Chaos

Lunch nom with cheap Taco Bell foods. I figured I'd grab lunch early after my morning interview, avoid the rush, but there are some high schoolers scattered here and there. I don't get their schedule. Some days they are out at like noon, some like 11:30. I guess that's like normal now to allow big times for lab. Seems confusing to me. I guess it makes sense for lab, but if I were 16 again I don't think I could sit still for that long... well, unless I had hawt girl lab partner friends.

One hour till the slow library opens. Wonder how much board stuff I'll have to catch up on. I wonder if jobs will be more or less due to the holiday. Always hard to predict.

The morning interview was meh. Obviously I was under dressed. I don't have any business / front office kind of cloths though really. I'd get some if I could and if I had a way to store them nicely. It was in the downtown San Jose area, which for those who don't know, I myself tend to forget, is a kind of icky place. There is a park there with lots of homeless people. Not homeless like me - job capable, washed in the morning, has clean cloths, still hopeful about life - but I mean the downtrodden defeated kind of homeless - no hope, live one day at a time, possible medical issues, all dirty cloths, smell like pee. I feel bad for them. I want to give them a place to stay, clean them up, get them counseling if need be, job placement, etc. Anyways... all these people in the office were in suits. You know, the kind that look like it took a full week's pay of a normal person's salary. I'd guess the position, and appearance, really should be getting about $45k+, and I just don't have the experience, or wardrobe, for such a position. It's ok. It is a financial place with power executives; not really my thing.

Oh, here are most of the younglings at the regular time. I'm so confused. hehe. A guy drives up and he's got some techno going, then parks and turns off his car and some girls are, 'Hey, turn your car back on. I love that song.' So he does, and they start bouncing, hehe. Ah high school, good times. Maybe that's part of why I want to be a high school / junior college substitute teacher or counselor, to be near those fun times. I don't know why, but it seems so many... grow up... after high school. They simply stop having fun. They stop exploring new and different things. They forget how differently they thought when they were younger. They start doing a repetitive task. They start getting selfish and not socializing with others. I don't know how to explain it, but so many people let a great part of them die when they leave high school and college. This love of life, this fun happy precious thing is just gone forever. I guess that's why I like gamer peeps. They have managed to hold on to that precious thing, or at least a part of it.

Well, that's all for now. Time to move over to the slow library. *waves bye to fun and silly high school nommers*

Time passes

Random snack noms - a few Doritos, some baked Ruffles, and those Spanish cookie/cracker things the rabb1t friend/fan gave me. (Though those aren't the super yummy vanilla style ones I thought they were.)

Nothing on the job listings. The childcare peep did need classes I don't have. So, not counting positions which are still taking applications and not doing callbacks, we are effectively back to zero propositions. (School positions often stay open for three weeks to a month before calling anyone and I've applied to about 3-6 this past week.)

Golfland is empty. It's eerie. Only three cars in the entire lot, and this includes my car.

Getting tougher and tougher to use my site as research for recommending graphic cards. Half the links are failing now. Not even a full month since the last update. Crazy. Hopefully, some way, I can get a portable and get current again. Being out of date makes me a sad bunny.

I'm glad I got the super tank. It's got +10 Heat Dissipation and +5 Sweat Dissipation. I don't know if today is as hot as the past few days, but I'm sweating more easily.

Stared blankly at this page for about 15 minutes. Faded out to have a weird dream. A dream about someone being mad at someone else, archeologist types. The second guy holds up a pair of eyeballs to the first, holding them by the intact optic nerve, and says accusingly, shaking the eyes as he speaks, "You knew about it didn't you?! You've had the key to the secret all along!" I'm pretty good at dream interpretation, but even that one escapes me. Key to what? And why would the first archeologist hide the key? Hummm.

Hum nearly 4 now. I was faded into the dream probably 20-30 minutes. Seemed more like 10. Well, about 2 hours 'till I move to the fast library. Maybe I can watch a show. I guess if there still aren't any job postings maybe tomorrow I'll try applying in a few unusual locations.

Time passes

Happy things / sad things with the night check. But that's what keeps you interested right? Heh. I got a donation, so that will help a lot with food. I'm mostly concerned about classes and school parking money at this point. I did find one part time something, looks like 15 hours at I think it was $9, which is low even for here. I did do some extra searching of areas I can't normally access and found a pretty good looking one. It's like $4-5k per month and they only want three years of experience and 50 WPM typing speed, while I've got over four and 76 WPM. So those are both positive (plus the donation positive).

I had some time left over, so I looked around on some game sites, which I don't get to keep up with as much as I used to. (Well, did when I wasn't homeless.) Right in the last few minutes of access I did another email check and found an early alpha invite. Won't say which game, as they asked us not to talk about the apps, so that, something I'd normally be super excited about, has actually made me kind of sad/down. It reminds me I can't play; now two tests. The first focus round is this Friday too, in just a few days. I sent a reply back asking if I should just hold onto it or if I should accept and offer tech/hardware advice on the alpha boards. I've been doing it on the live boards, have a rep for it, currently the main guy, with like 2 or 3 who know a bit and offer advice with the disclaimer to double check with me, heh.

So yeah, good news - donation and a few prospective apps out. Sad news - a now second alpha invite, yet again reminding me life goes on, and I continue to miss out on things I want to do.

It's 8:30 now and Golfland is still basically dead. It probably will have very little entertainment value from here on outside of Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

The constant roar of traffic continues to hurt my poor tired ears.

The constant sunlight continues to hurt my poor tired eyes.

The constant shoes, socks, and driving, continue to hurt my poor tired feet.

The constant motion in the world and need to hide in plain sight continues to hurt my poor tired mind.

The constant discomfort continues to prevent me from really sleeping at all.

I'm so tired, so very tired. *sniff* *tear*

Day 64 - 9/3 - Pure Pwnage

I have to lol at myself today, hehe. Here I am, after my shower in the school spot, sitting in my car at about 9:15 and these two old ladies are talking about staying active. This one is telling the other one to get Wii Fit and is telling basically a story about how she's camping the system to get three more for her kids for Xmas (who are all grown). I tell her she didn't need to call to check - she was calling this one guy who would check the whole region every other hour. I'm like, 'just go to the one that's right over there and check their flier on Saturday then go on Sunday if they have them'. lol. I am helping even when I can't get online. Fate's pawn, moving me where I need to be.

About 9:30 now. No super cutie this morning. I don't think I saw the other sporty gals. The swim class doesn't seem to meet anymore, and the classroom that's local doesn't meet. I have a feeling whatever class she was in is over. Ah well.

I'm getting super worried about school. There is only one paycheck between now and then. If I got a parking sticker that would leave me zero money for food for two weeks. The next paycheck wouldn't come until Thursday after school has started. I don't know what to do. I need halp, but have no polite way to ask.

Well, better shuffle off to the library. Maybe this or next week I can find work and maybe get some money before classes start.

Time passes

Tee hee. One of the younglings is talking crap out loud. His friend comes up behind him and says, "Ha! You got caught. That means you can't ever be a thief in your life. You gonna have to get a job." I'm like lol, like someone would consider a life of petty crime as a way to support themselves.

So I printed some stuffs at the slow library because it's for teh free. I've now got some of my site printed so I can mark it up. I can officially start making notes for 'generation 5', as well as recommended GPUs and CPUs. At least I can get those noted down for my personal records - update them for everyone else ASAP. It's a real pain in the butt this way though. Normally I'll open half a dozen windows per section and compare prices and stats; typically this takes a few hours once I've mostly decided on the overall part choices. This round of builds is ready, just a CPU/GPU update, so it should be ok to do manually on paper.

Put out a half dozen resumes in mostly random places. We'll see if anything comes of it.

I went ahead and signed up for the alpha, though the Jumpgate invite is still on hold. I figure if I'm going to hold the invite and do nothing then that's a reserved spot that isn't doing anything. Better that I'm on the boards where I can at least give out advice than to just leave the invite in my box. (Though I don't know enough about Jumpgate to do that.) Plus, I've sent the company that is making the game several resumes. I think it is entirely possible someone there is keeping tabs on certain members. It wouldn't surprise me if someone were keeping tabs on me for a later release state position, such as a lower community manager or tech support. Of course, they may just be ignoring my online activity and I'm just yet another application in the pile.

Anyways... off to play with my faux-site. Hopefully soon I can move the paper recommendations online.

Time passes

So, again I help someone out in the world. I went to a GameStop I used to go to in order to play Soul Calibur, but they didn't have it. (This isn't the one I normally go to these days.) I figured, 'meh, I'll go to try Guitar Hero again'. I go in and there is this little kid totally kicking ass on medium. He went away while I was in the bathroom, so I play a bit. Got destroyed on medium so I went back to easy. Got like 40-50k on the songs, but the little fella has come back. I watch him play and he's doing these crazy things on medium, setting scores of 150+k. He used the star power too, still don't know what that's about. Anyways, I'm talking to his momz, to be sure she knows how much her kid pwns. He couldn't have been much over 10, probably like 8. He was literally half my height, maybe 3' tall. She's saying how he likes to come play here for the big screen and how they will probably get one for Xmas, but not over 3k and I'm like, "Psh, you can get one that's 40" that totally kicks ass at around $800." I scribbled down the Samsung LN40A550 so she could look it up on Amazon. Hung out and talked with her a bit and she seemed good to go. She was saying how her son has gotten really good at math and science and other stuff since he started gaming, so she totally supports him and I'm like, 'Yeah, it increases mental speed, creates problem solving, and gives you better physical dexterity, which surgeons need.' Since I said Amazon was way cheaper she talked about laptops because I guess there were other younglings and they need more computers in the house. I gave her my card and said she could ask if she had any questions on what was good or if something was a good price or not. So, lil gamer dude there with tons of potential in life in general and a very supportive family. Yeeeaaa!

Um, that's really it. Killed an hour with demos. The Golfland lot has one other car and that's it. I may go to the library early. Someone referenced a Sci-Fi book where the person in it is named Rabbit, so I may have to check that out. Reading certainly would help me kill time. I've been sort of waiting for school, maybe check out some other class texts and such.

Anyways... fun lol there. Hopefully I cut that family's cost in half for the screen. Save 'em $1,000-1,500 they don't need to spend. Snack time for me. Only 3, so like three hours 'till I want to do library stuff. Might just go over early and check for the book. Pretty hot day. Changed to my super tank. Don't have much going on here at Golfland to entertain me.

Time passes

The glasses I got on the 17th, only 17 days ago, have suffered complete failure. I'll mark up a picture, but these $20 glasses were broken in 6 different ways due to normal use in upwards to 90F weather. Not abusive use in 120F, normal use in fairly normal summer conditions. It's like they are the sunglasses you aren't supposed to wear in the sun. Ah well, my 12 pack of $2 glasses is on the way and I'm sure they will serve me much better. As mentioned, a pair like them I paid $5 for lasted me about 6+ years under the very same use conditions that $20 pair couldn't take 17 days of.

Zonked out there for about 15 minutes - strange dreams mixed with reality (since my brain was still receiving input from the street / Golfland people.)

About 4 now. I guess I'll get out of this heat and check on that book. I wish the library got comics. That would be pretty cool. I could research that style I like and maybe pick up an art book and pencils for teh cheap and pick up drawing again. I used to be pretty ok back in the day in high school. Welp, off we go.

Time passes

Someone called me on a job while I was in the library but didn't leave a message. (I called back and got a person who was not the one who called me.)

Going to Taco Bell in a bit to spend my last $1. I've got some moving to my account, so hopefully that will be there in the morning. If not I've got like $2 in my account. I had a bit more, but dropped that into gas to get around and go to interviews.

Put out a few more resumes, so pretty good potential job application day. One was for the City of Sunnyvale - a position lower than the $4-5k one I applied to the other day, being ~$3k, so I actually have an even greater chance this one will call back. I only needed one year of office experience vs. the three from before. Again, having 4+ years my experience is overkill, so hopefully I can at least get an interview.

Watched an episode of Pure Pwnage. I'd forgotten new ones were due out. Always good for teh lolz. I still have to get season 1 on DVD and get one of the new Thirteen 37 shirts.

Heard mention on the radio that the temperatures here are due to hit 90+F over the next few days. Gonna be a hot one I guess. Poor me though, out in the bright hot sun every day. Yet, it's been freezing at night. My shivering/coldness woke me up about 5:45 this morning. I barely managed to get back to sleep for another 25 minutes or so before giving up to move before real light was up. My new 'in after 11, out before 6:30' schedule seems to be protecting me. To my knowledge no one has seen me enter, leave, or while parked/sleeping. And, in my defense of the "Private Property: No Trespassing," there are still the same half dozen cars there every night. So, unless someone actually spots me in the car, I'd seem like just another parker, though in a different spot. I prey to the gods nightly that I remain safe and undiscovered. Hopefully the spot can last me 'till I get more income and into a shelter or lots more income and get back into a home.

Time passes

I wonder if Fate protected me today. I stopped off at the ex-house to check for my glasses, the mail, possibly sort some papers I should archive... anyways. I'm sitting in front, not wanting to go (I wasn't sure if someone was home or not) and I start to get very sad. I was thinking about how it was a happy rabb1t home. How I'd had fun there, had good access speeds, the neighbors were almost always quiet, or quiet enough, how I was missing what there was of a friendship with the one roomie and I started to get sniffly and was about to cry and this random person comes up out of the blue and starts asking me questions in broken English, which leaves me confused more than anything else. Sometimes I really wish I could cry, like totally cry when I was little. I haven't in forever. My last real cry like that was when my sweetie broke up with me back in 2000. I actually cried in my sleep over her a few times over the years after that (the only times ever I've cried in my sleep to my knowledge.)

I wonder if people who travel a lot feel the same things I'm feeling - the homelessness I mean. This displaced uneasiness, the loneliness, the melancholy about eating the same out-food, the same sadness about not watching my shows how I want, missing family or friends. I suppose calling said people helps with loneliness, and being in a hotel chain and always getting the same kind of room helps with feelings of being displaced, possibly the issue of your shows as well. Obviously a bigger budget probably helps with food.

I've been thinking about "the times" lately. Thinking a lot about when I was young and the family would go to Phoenix to visit my grandparents - likely due to this heat, plus the sounds and lots of driving. Different times back then in the early to mid 70s. TV watching consisted of a few good shows a week and that was it. Cars stopped being on the road around 9, unless you were out for a special occasion or a traveler. At their house it was quiet for miles and miles. I could hear crickets, horses nearby sometimes, but cars at night? Unheard of. Teens out at night? Never. If they were it was at one of about three places. Entertainment? You jumping your bike off of stuff, playing with collectable cars, listening to the radio, playing board games... it was a much quieter, much slower paced world. I don't recall the story, but I think as times move on I become more and more of a country mouse than a city mouse. I've never been one for city life and as time has passed the areas I've known have all seemingly gotten more and more dense with people, more and more duplicate stores, less and less interaction between local people. A different world to be sure.

Do I really still belong here anymore or should I find somewhere a bit slower? I feel more and more trapped. Back in 2000 when I had like $5k in the bank I was happy to be homeless. I felt free to move and relocate anywhere in the world. Now... due to my debt and lack of money, I only feel trapped and I wonder if those who have to travel for work feel the same. For their sake I hope not. I hope no one ever feels trapped or forced into choices.

I think I do long for the day when times were slower and simpler; when you would get excited the carnival was in town. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my Blu-ray, consoles, nice stereo, and hopefully soon 40" HDTV LCD for anything, not to mention my PC and constant access to infoz via teh Intarwebs. I would still be the same high tech gamer rabb1t either way. I just sometimes wish for that happy home where I know the delivery driver's name, where neighbors from around town would ask me how my new such-n-such is or drop by to check it out.

I hope there are still areas of the country like that, though I suspect the majority of the states may be like that. At least more than not. I hope not everywhere is becoming a fast paced 24/7 highly compressed conglomerate. ... That would be sad.

Day 65 - 9/4 - Fresco style

Lunch nom; soft taco, fresco style. I always thought that was a different menu item. It subtracts cheese and adds tomato, onion, and cilantro. Much healthier for you, and in my case better for my lactose intolerant tummy. I'm gonna lol when I order the "cheezy double beef burrito" fresco style. It's like, 'Hey, gimmie that then remove the biggest elements right in its name', hehe.

No job listings. No call backs. Teh lame. I figure after I'm done with my nom I'll call the person back (again) from yesterday.

Some monies flipped, so I can has foods. Still poor, so it will basically be almost entirely Taco Bell $1 items. But... I can has foods, which is something.

Dropped about 1/2 hour helping someone get ready for a build. They got the second system, so it's pretty complex, but not quite as complex as other builds as they don't have to worry about moving the power supply in.

There were so few jobs I decided to go through the graphic card section. I effectively totally redid the recommendations "on paper" and copied all the links in an email to myself. Lots of changes there, but I always wonder how other countries see things. Some day I may have a reliable Canadian and Australian site and factor in their values/costs. Like, the difference between the 8800 GT and 9800 GT in price is almost nonexistent, about a $20 difference. There is also an even smaller difference between the 9600 GT and 9800 GT, about $15, but the processing gain is huge. But, I'd bet those gaps could be much larger overseas (which is why I keep my previous generation's recommendations on the systems page.) Something I have to leave for another day for sure, as there is simply no way these crappy computers/connections could handle an out of the states connection. Lag to those can be bad enough on a powerful system with a good connection as it is.

Hum. Didn't seem like much to say, but it added up quickly.

Car got a quick shower. No vacuuming as there is construction/landscaping at the ex-house and their stuff is blocking the driveway. The cord doesn't go that far.

Um... so... yeah. That's it for now. May kill another hour or so here then try and sneak in some Soul Calibur time. Oh call the lady, yes yes. Grrr been on hold two minutes now... Ok, that's the most BS thing ever. She called me yesterday at 5:45, left no message. I call them back at 6:30 and leave my message with a person, not a recording, an actual person. This call just now was at 1:10. Apparently they had some interviews this morning they had set up and hired someone already. Not even going to bother interviewing me even though they called yesterday. That's the lamest thing I've ever heard of... Well, I guess I don't have to worry about calling that person back anymore.

This is how sad my life is right now - I'm going to walk like 25' away to get a soda can someone left so I can crush it and add it to my collection. Those of you out there who feel bad or sad about only sending $5 or $10, as I say in my thank you replies, you'd be surprised just how much that helps these days.

That's all I can think of for now.

Time passes

Forgot I had laundry to do. Yeeeaaa for clean. I probably should have held it to tomorrow, but I've been wearing dirty undies and socks for three days now.

Got to play Soul Calibur for 45 minutes. Yea for fun! I also got to see they were running in 720p, so hopefully it will look even better when I can get my 1080p screen (or use it on my 1920x1200 monitor in the mean time.)

Sooo... that's it for now I guess. Just chilling with my laundry and Monk for an hour. Oh, one last thing... on businesses I'd make if I had the money... a grill/bar/laundromat. Sounds crazy, but just think how cool it would be to go to your local laundromat, put your cloths into the laundry, then move to the center of the place where there are a ring of tables you can sit and order, or you could travel over to the bar and say hi to fellow laundry-doers. Ok now I'm done, hehe.

Oh and zomg, 95F outside last I saw.

Time passes

Did my night check. I went early, but did things a bit different. I had those entries, so I did my stuff in bursts. All in all it took more time than normal, which is a good thing with this heat and me being forced to be out of it. Just finished dinner, 8:30 now.

I watched the other episode of Pure Pwnage I missed, "Just the Guys, Part 2". At the end, zomg, Jeremy get's his padawan, Kris... I need a Kris in my life. *spoilers* She knocks on his door, he opens it, she says, "Hey, I'm Kris," then walks past him to sit on his couch like she belongs there *end spoilers* I need me a cute young gamer girl like that. Though Kris is likely a bit too young for me, heh. 'Course I don't know a thing about her personality, hehe. I do believe in a balance in love between mind, body and spirit. By that I mean mind; intelligence, aptitude and desired level for learned knowledge, rational or logical thought style, traditional beliefs (which holidays are celebrated, what ceremonies are preformed). Body; physical appearance, movement style, gestures used. Spirit; sense of adventure, playfulness, desire for unplanned/spontaneous things. All three have to match what I believe / want. Back with my ex-wife (who is not my ex-sweetie I'm sad about losing, that's a different person) she was a match on really only two dimensions and during the relationship I hoped to match on the third. Didn't really happen. Really the two she did match with just kind of shifted around.

Had to run off to the bathroom there... heat + cheezburger = Last cheezburger for a while though. I'll only be able to afford $1 Taco Bell items for a while. Christina was there though and she was smiling at me. She looked different though. I thought it was new glasses, but I guess she normally wears contacts, so it was glasses vs. not glasses.

Still just plodding forward on applications with this nights check. Nothing spectacular. I guess I shouldn't be too discouraged. The better ones, as mentioned, take weeks to cycle through to the interview phase. And, I only need that one happy/good job, so it isn't quantity of posts.

As always, here's hopping tomorrow is a better day.

Day 66 - 9/4 - Portable news

Friday morning; mini-work later today, slow library in about 40 minutes. No job calls yet, but it seems most email or call in the afternoon, so that's not surprising.

I saw old momz again. She called her informant and she confirmed several were coming today. So, those in the Bay Area here looking for Wii Fit will be good to go at Best Buy Sunday. So sad all I can do will be to watch the line.

Being Friday I expect no posts today. Guess I can check unusual places to apply and maybe do something like update my AMD CPUs on paper. I've already pretty much done Intel ones on paper.

Oh, I saw this massive crash last night. I may have gotten a picture of the pole. There are these street lamps in my area, must be about 20' high, look like mostly concrete. Drove by one last night that had been crushed and fallen over. I didn't see the car soon enough to reset the camera, as I had just taken a shot of the light, but this car's entire left engine section was completely crushed, like Fantastic 4 Ben Grim stops the truck kind of crushed. I could see all the internal parts, as if it were a cross-section, and the tire had been smooshed off. These guys are incredibly lucky they weren't all smooshed flat when the pole dropped. I saw some people standing near the car, and saw no roof squishing, so hopefully they are all ok.

Be safe driving out there people. Leave plenty of space for others and drive at safe speeds. You will still get there if you drive at safe speeds instead of driving unsafe. If you drive unsafe you may not make it there at all. I have a saying, "It only takes one to change forever." That means that during one heart beat, one second, everything can change. Or, a single event, like meeting your future sweetie, or one person taking action, or getting or losing one particular job. In that crash's case, the pole very easily could have fallen onto someone and smooshed them. I don't know what happened, their fault, someone else's fault, mechanical failure and they lost control, I don't know. But, be as careful as you can in dangerous areas.

Time passes

Drove by a temperature gauge on the way to the slow library. It's only 9:45 and it's already 80F.

Time passes

Lunch nom. mmmmm These $1 soft tacos fresco style are teh win. Got a few decent job apps out. Nothing life changing, but not total poo either. No email replies.

Super awesome potential laptop news - the Dell Inspiron Mini 9 came out. It's around $400 for the version I want vs. the Eee PC 1000H at $550+. Doubly awesome is that they are offering them for only $100 if you are buying a regular laptop valued at $1500 or more. So, if I can find someone buying a Dell laptop, and someone loans me like $125, I should be able to get one for super cheap. My ex-roomie (and peeps at her work) get Dells sometimes. So, she may be able to hook me up. I'll send an email at my next library check in about 2.75 hours. That would be so roxor if I could chill somewhere with power off-line and get my site all caught up, then bounce online for one minute and upload it. Of course, 24/7 access to job checking and email checking is what I need most right now.

So... eeeeee! Excited about that. Like $400 is way better than $550+, and with an opening from Fate at like $100, better still!

Time passes

At mini-work. Nomming a free soup teh rabb1t friend/fan gave me. I'm totally hungry. It's going to be super crazy the next few weeks since I have to spend a ton on parking and school classes. With more work hours this wouldn't be a big deal. One shift each (one for parking one for classes) would cover them. Well, hopefully I can find something soon. Only like one additional resume sent with the night batch.

I started watching the season premier of Bones. It's in high def, so the video quality is solid for online viewing. Sound is decent too. Sad in my headphones, but decent enough.

New peeps here - youngling girls doing some tumbling. They would be far more interesting to watch than basketball guys, but the room is way far away from the office. I'd have to be creepy guy to see them.

Um... that's it for now.

Time passes

Op, I heard it wrong, it isn't tumbling, it's slaying. Ha! I mean cheerleading. I always thought cheerleading seemed like this super tough discipline that was a mix of martial arts and dance.

Hope I can get monies for the Dell Inspiron Mini and someone's help for teh cheap one. Been thinking all night how cool it would be to be surfing, or updating my site, helping on boards, or maybe even watching my shows. Sitting and listening to the radio during my shift... booooring. I wonder if the headphone settings will go any louder than the public systems. Most are so quiet I can barely hear them. I suppose it should. The school systems are plenty loud. *sigh* Waiting and waiting to get money to move forward.

Time passes

You know, I never really thought about this, but if the keyboard really isn't good for typing in Epic Fail I could just get a generic $8 USB keyboard. I've never done that with laptops, but I don't see why it wouldn't work. Back in '99? '98? I briefly had a laptop and used a regular mouse with it all the time. I just don't like those pad things. I still don't get why someone hasn't invented a no-mouse-mouse yet, something where you strap a sensor to your index and middle finger that senses direction you are moving and if you flicked for mouse clicks. Probably in development and the sensors just aren't that refined yet. Then again... there is the OCZ Brain mouse, so sensors must be pretty good by now... anyways. Random thoughts from teh rabb1t brain.

Day 67 - 9/6 - Sad days

Sad day so far. It's early morning time on a Saturday at 8:30 - normally a day of sleeping in and resting with no work, heavy game playing, and relaxing with a movie at night. But, none for me. My days are filled with continued stress of not having a job, constant worry about where to go during my day so as not to upset anyone and how best to stay out of the sun, and constant worry about food / nutrition and the state of my physical health.

Breakfast nom. I picked up some Rice Krispies on sale for $2.75 - one of the huge boxes, so that's a good deal. Normally these are too bland for me and I prefer Lucky Charms (that was also on sale), but with these early mornings the sugar in Lucky Charms is too much for me.

I seem to have mildly burnt / irritated my upper arm and shoulders. I don't see how. They are never in direct sunlight unless it's like now, early morning time. Again though, it could be upwards to 80F+ already. I heard we've been hitting record highs and getting near 100F+.

A slow day for board posting normally, and job postings are nonexistent. I'll likely spend my time researching ram today - see if I need to change my recommendations there. Later at the first library I can watch more Bones. I probably won't get all the way through the 1.5 hour premier till tomorrow though. I hate watching my shows like this.

Time passes

Got my ramzor recommendations done, so that was good. As expected, there were no real job postings. There was one for an online MMOG GM / customer support person. I went ahead and applied for that.

I've been on the new alpha boards for four days, which includes today, and I've already recommended hardware to three peeps and offered tech help suggestions to two others despite how small of a population there is, heh.

Got some cheap lunch nom. There was some bread on sale and salami was on sale, so I got sandwich fixings.

The next big update is motherboards. Nvidia are easy, it's the other chipsets that take a while. I expect it will be quite a bit more than the one hour (each) that graphic cards and ram took. Wouldn't be too bad on a reasonable speed system, but these, woof.

I got some DDR3 recommendations, but sheesh these are still ridiculously expensive. The "cheaper" DDR3-1600 4 gig kit is still $260 post rebate compared to the $60 cost of a good timed 4 gig DDR2-800 kit. Even for a no budget limit system that's still hard to swallow. The DDR3-2000 kit is like $360 post rebate. It's far more likely large ram sizes, like 8 gig, will benefit games before faster ram like DDR3 will.

Um... that's it I guess. About 2.5 hours till I go to the fast library.

Time passes

So one of the help threads is turning into full blown tech/customer support, heh. I'm sad I don't have more access. I could easily run the research to help this guy out. With these poo systems on limited time it is very hard to justify burning 15 minutes of research on one person for one item. They should hire me for tech/customer support, heh. Of course, I already applied several times to various postings at that company, so you'd think they would have mentioned if such an opening were out there. Makes me a sad bunny that I can't help - like seeing someone slowly sinking into quicksand or slipping off the edge of a cliff and I can't help them.

Sort of was crying last night. I'm so tired of the constant noise, of constantly moving around, of not being able to cook, of having to watch my shows in sample sizes. I don't understand why I don't have friends that are close/kind enough to put me up on the couch and give me space for my computer, or at least one I could borrow while they are out at work. I don't get why no one else seems to have trouble finding a job, or why I'm the only one who seems to have no friends at all. Did I mention the girl last semester who was looking at changing jobs? She said she just started looking and within less than a week she had three interviews lined up with people that would likely hire her. It's like wtf? Here I am putting out like 100 resumes a month and we are going on seven months now and this person looks less than a week and has something? I just don't get it. I've even had people look at my resume and say I looked fine to them. I really don't get it. I guess I just have to keep saying Fate has something to do with it and keep suffering through.

Day 68 - 9/7 - Epic Fail is Epic

I never had any idea I'd still be writing on day 68 or that I wouldn't be any closer to my journey's end by then. I figured probably around 60 days, hoped for 45. To be no closer to a home at nearly day 70 is... disappointing. At this point it is impossible, without being gifted a room, to find anywhere much before day 100. Epic Fail may not be epic on a depth level, though I have gotten into some deep philosophical topics, but it certainly is epic in length.

It surprised me to see a line here at Target at 8 AM 30 people deep. Listening it is not surprising to hear people were looking for Wii Fit, the Wii, and games. It amazes me the system is still under such a demand they sell like 1.5 million units per month and still can't meet demand (last I heard that was the production figure.) I guess when I get my money I should come by Best Buy ASAP after I get up at 6:30-7 and just straight up start camping. The lines will likely get worse once the Holidays start. Then again, this could be an early start for the Holidays already. Normally I say don't buy something and then shelve it, as the RMA period is ticking away, but this shortage will kill ya. You have no choice but to camp it early if it's a gift. I'm sure it will be fine. In all my years of life purchasing stuff I think I've only had to RMA like 6 items ever.

Time passes

I've changed locations to Best Buy. What asses. *points at line* All nine of you are asses. This lady and family drive up, a bit older, I'd guess the mom is about 50. She goes over to the line, I don't hear why, but she comes back to the husband and late teen / early 20s son who waited in the car for her and she says, "11". And the husband says, "What's the line for?" She replies with a shrug. So I tell them Wii and Wii Fit and talk to them for a minute. Apparently she asked the line why they were there and the only reply she got was from a few guys (the first in line) who replied, "What do you think?" So all those people there, asses. Wouldn't surprise me if those first few who replied that were ebayers either. You know even in my situation, as desperate as it is, I would not flip anything like that, ever. All you ebayers that are out there that flip things, you are just rude asses and take the fun items away from other people who would actually use and enjoy them to spare them for the wealthy. That's not ok. It's not fair to be in line for something in short supply that you yourself aren't going to use to sell it for profit.

A Best Buy person just came out to the line; 24 Wii Fit. Definitely have to get here before 9 when I have monies to buy one.

About 10:30 now. Just over one hour before I head over to the slow library. I really hope someone can get me the hookup on a Dell Inspiron Mini deal. Of course I have no monies for even the $100 deal, so unless it's my ex-roomie and she's super nice and loans me the money I won't be able to get one 'till I get more money. I sent her an email asking if she were upgrading her laptop soon. She does about every two years, but I'd be very (pleasantly) surprised if she hooked me up.

Looks like another massive meeting. I guess they do that the first Sunday of every month. Yeah, I must be massively overqualified to work here. All these peeps are like 17-22.

Time passes

Eating up the rest of the salami I got the other day. It was looking dangerously sweaty. I didn't want to leave it longer. Took a ton of napkins to swab the grease off.

Not much going on online. I gave that one guy a bit more support. The short version of his story is he's on a slightly older Dell that's got restrictive custom design. I hate to tell people 'go out and spend a bunch of money building a new system', but sometimes it really is the best idea.

Wish I had some chips with my sandwich nom. It's just not the same without chips.

At least it's pretty breezy today. It's hot but not intolerably so if you can get into the shade.

Sooooo... four hours till my next library check. Probably nothing new there. At least I should be able to get the rest of Bones.

*blank stare commences*

Day 69 - 9/8 - The fog

Showered and shaved all my parts. Yeeea for being super clean.

There is this misty fog everywhere. Not totally uncommon for the Bay Area, but it usually doesn't come this far inland. Plus, it's around 10, so it's hung around pretty late.

Still here at school. I'm going to try and be still as much as I can the next few days to conserve gas. Having barely enough and none for interviews is really bad.

Truly going into starvation mode. Today's lunch will likely be bread and that's it. Well, maybe a few cookies. I need money too badly though, so I have to be sparing where I can. Not like $1 meals are all that expensive, but my gas is dangerously low.

Hopefully my glasses will come in today. They are taking forever to get to me since they didn't qualify for Amazon Prime two day shipping.

In two weeks at this time I'll hopefully be done updating my site and have a fairly normal life again, eating the yummy Safeway soup, watching my shows on the day they post, answering posts fairly regularly, roughly 12 hours of access on days I don't have class, of which I can spend about 3/4 online, answering posts fairly regularly. We'll see though. I'm guessing it will be pretty crazy those first few weeks. I prey to the gods they don't change the systems to require your I.D. Apparently my Foothill one doesn't count, even though it's a unified Foothill-De Anza thing. (There is a media lab in a different place that requires an I.D., the main library doesn't.) If it does I'll likely bitch as loud as I can because I use resources here and not at Foothill since here is closer to 'home'. Well... that's two weeks away regardless. At the rate time passes for me it's an eternity. Anything, for good or bad, can change during that time.

Time passes

Decided to get my soft taco fresco style after all. Let the future fall where it may. I'm ok for today. We'll see what my gas condition is tomorrow when tomorrow comes. I need a touch of cheering up. As it turns out the sunglasses are not so sunglassy as they are costume jewelry. They are a bit small too, as if child sized. Two of the four colors are ok, the others are too light to work as sunglasses, so these will have to do. They will serve me well enough for a while. Plus, my bread tasted... funny. A bit scratchy is the best I could describe it. Seemed risky, so I ate the second to last piece, but tossed the last one.

Nearly library time. Hopefully something good will be waiting for me online.

Time passes

Only one job application went out. Not entirely surprising for a Monday. Pretty good one though. General office at a legal place. Part time up to $15 an hour. They wanted 50 WPM typing speed, which I pwn at 75+ WPM.

Did some more technical type helping. I love to help. Less advice this round and more state of tech / you are behind the times type stuff.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles starts tonight. Woot! I love that show. Gotta get the season one Blu-ray as soon as I can, though I may get Big Bang Theory first for teh lolz.

Guess that's it for now. Kind of melancholy again today. Sad, but not overly depressed or discouraged. I feel useful and helpful on the boards, but continue to feel discouraged by lack of job postings or interviews. Not anything to look forward to, but hopeful that things will look up. Not a balanced mood, but probably about as balanced as I can get with things as they are these days.

Time passes

Bang! Crash! So this was kind of exciting. I'm sitting here in the Best Buy / PetSmart parking lot and I'm looking towards Best Buy (more interesting shoppers) and I hear this beeeeepppp! for at least one second, maybe two, then CRUNCCHHH! I'm like, "Oh that can't be good." I look back and like 85% of the way from one spot to the other these two cars have backed into each other. Upon investigating for about three seconds it's easy to surmise from the dispersal of debris that this was a very slow speed impact, and the positions of the cars suggest that the honker (a large black SUV kind of thing) was almost ready to pull forward after backing up when the second car hit them. It's very obvious to anyone who understands speed, trajectory, and human reaction speed, to see the large black car was not at fault at all. I hear the owner ask the other person if she saw them or heard the horn and she says she didn't hear the horn. Heard it or not, it was obvious this person didn't look because the position of the crash was so far towards the one side the black car had to be, well was, completely out of the spot and in the road when the card that hit her started moving. She says she's also got one of those back up displays that apparently beeps if it senses movement, and it wasn't beeping when she was backing up. So there are some shots I took, you can has one, and I told the innocent car owner she can get pics if she needs. If there is any kind of black box recorder on her car she's got full video proof right there. If they don't already they certainly should record so many past hours of backing up video for that reason.

So I go in to Best Buy and say, 'Hey, there was this crash outside, bla bla, you may want to have someone clean up the debris really quick because there are people walking around in sandals with their doggies and stuff,' and the guy was all, "That's not our property. We don't own that lot. That's the City of Sunnyvale and they have street cleaners that come at night that take care of that." And I'm thinking it's only like 4 PM and go, "So you don't care that your customers in sandals could potentially really hurt themselves and cut open their feet on the plastic?" And he's all, "Sorry." Wow. That really makes me question if I want to buy anything from them ever (even with as excited as I am to camp the Wii Fit.) It's like, your customers, some anyways, could potentially really hurt themselves and it would take one employee one minute to clean it up and the store policy is you don't care?! *sigh* In the interest of sandal peeps and doggies everywhere I go next door to PetSmart. The manager came out and swept it up without fuss. If he hadn't I would have myself with my bare hands. 'Don't care?' Sheesh!

Time passes

Sad. No good news or job postings for the night check. I'm totally super worried about getting money for school stuff. Doing the math, I'm screwed and won't make it on my own as-is. Minimal meals of $2 Taco Bell foods a day, a bit for Pepsi, add on the $30 for gas a week, which doesn't even count getting to school, that's just what I'm using to go to the libraries now, it also doesn't count interview money either, that's a minimum of $50 a week, not even counting laundry. I only get $120 per two weeks, leaving $20 every other week for everything else. I'm guessing parking is $50-75, and again that doesn't count gas to get to the classes or interviews or my phone bill. Once school starts I can alter one meal to be soup, save $0.25 a day there, but still.

Selling my $100 Macys gift card, even if I only get like $85, plus donations, is my only chance to get enough money to pay for the school things in time for the start of the semester in two weeks. Plus, I don't know how I'd manage at a job that's an office one since I don't have any work cloths really. I've got one pair of black cargo pants, but that's it really. I should probably use the Macys card for work cloths, but nope, can't afford that. I need it for classes or I'd be looking at $750 in student loans I owe per month. (I don't have to pay them as long as I'm in classes at least half-time.)

I need a something to come along. Even just 10 more hours a week at $15 would be $565 per month post taxes. Plenty to cover my $300 in owed credit card bills per month (if I could restart payments that would get them off my back) and have a touch of leeway after to cover the increase in gas cost, a few work cloths items, and increase my food budget a touch.

Time passes

Ug. Poor tummy. Interrupted by losing a battle with my foods. I hope I'm not sick. For a few days to a week now I've felt kind of sick, like my tummy is upset and I'm going to be sick to my stomach. Not a lot sick to my tummy, just a tiny bit. Like something is constantly disagreeing with me. Poor tummy. I've never eaten this much out-food as I have lately in my entire life.

Day 70 - 9/9 - Odd and Sad

Odd day so far. Woke up just before 7 after only 7 hours of rest feeling like almost no time had passed at all. Still feel like I'm in a MMOG and the day/night cycle is passing without having a real time sync.

The slow library doesn't open 'till later again, so that's not 'till 1, which means I won't get to lunch 'till 3 because I shouldn't go out of my way to get it since I'm so low on gas. It's only a few miles, but round trip that's still gas I shouldn't use.

I was having cereal and a Pepsi for breakfast nom. I spilt my Pepsi. Half a can gone in a flash.

I'm so tired of this fail. So tired of not having money. I just feel like crying for hours and hours. I likely won't. It takes a lot to make me really cry, but today I truly feel defeated and sad.

Time passes

I'm just going to throw this out there, not sure why. Let's just call it a Michael Westen voice over moment. Being invisible isn't necessarily about not being seen. It's about not being noticed. In many stealth operations it is fine if you are seen - you just have to appear normal. You want to blend in with what everyone else is doing. You want to dress and move like the surrounding crowd. If you are at a shopping center, choose a purpose and move towards it. If you are at an amusement park, meander a bit. If you are in a car alone, look like you are waiting for someone. The objective with stealth is not to be invisible, but not to be noticed for being out of place.

Time passes

I've started the daunting task of creating an index. Got to what has not been entered online yet and it took about 3 hours. Welp, time to move over to the slow library. At least the remainder of the indexing will give me something to do. I may even save a touch of gas and go straight to the fast library. Finishing the slow at roughly 3 plus three more hours puts me right about where I want to consider using the fast library.

Time passes

Phew. Done indexing to this point. Like four pages of terms. It's about... 4:45. I'm still at the slow library. I guess I'll just go to get a touch of gas then move to the fast library and kill time till 6+ when I want to do my night check.

Suck for jobs today, again no real posts. I think I put out two applications for minor part time positions.

Time passes

*sigh* Nothing in the evening check. Got a confirmation email or two (we got your application and will contact you if bla bla bla), but that's it.

Woooo for Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles! *spoilers* zomg I was so sad when Cameron was evil. I totally knew the red headed Scottish girl was a terminator though. I knew it the second I saw her. I forgot about her type though. She's gonna be a toughie to kill. *end spoilers*

Helped a bit on the boards, as usual. Someone complimented me too. And, hehe, I got to say a dev was wrong. We were talking about AGP cards and he said the highest were Nvidia series 7 and ATi series x800, and I'm like, "Not true, 'cause there is an AGP ATi 3850." hehe. Teh rabb1t knows all.

A bit happier at the moment from helping on the boards and the show. Likely be sad again tomorrow. Tomorrow I've only got $1 and change for food, I used up the last of my bank money on gas, and it's the start of week 11.

Time passes

Ug. Tummy is still losing a fight with something. Either these fast food meals are really beating me up or I have a tummy cold. I am awfully sniffly lately and I do feel like someone bopped me in the tummy. I need to call in sick to work, stay snuggled tight in bed for extra rest, or at the computer in a blankie, and have a sweetie bring me aspirin and chicken soup and pet my head and gently hug me better... but I can't do any of those things.

That's likely all I've got for today. As always, let's hope tomorrow is a better day.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008, 2009
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)

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