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Epic Fail: The Journal of a Homeless Gamer

This is my journal I wrote during the time I was homeless. It is broken up by week for easier reading. Feel free to read it on the web or download the complete .pdf version and print it for reading offline.


Day 267 - 3/25 - A prayer for the USB

The USB is still sick. It is still getting better in small bits. For a brief few seconds the system saw all the files on the disk, then it faded back to not seeing the drive. It does flash its lights each time and I no longer get the unrecognized drive error, so hopefully it will come back up later today or tomorrow and I can post week 38 before the blackout.

It's 11:45, lunch nom. It is finally truly warming up. I've got just a single T-shirt layer on. No long sleeve shirt, no undershirt, no jacket, just the one shirt. And, of course, pants, undies, and socks. It would be crazy to just have a shirt on and nothing else.

That's really it. I took a long shower this morning basically alone, got super clean then came on campus, tried to revive my USB to post Epic Fail, checked boards and here we are.

Um... guess that's it for now. K thx bye.

Time passes

It's a bit later now at almost 4, but not much is different. I got a snack at the cafeteria that I got for teh cheap because someone left too much change.

I did a lot of show watching. I saw the third episode of WCG Ultimate Gamer. *spoilers* It was sad because on the second show they bumped out Kelly who is totally cute, and on the third show they bumped out Alyson, who was the hawtest. So now I'm sad because my two most favorite girls are gone. *end spoilers* I watched two episodes of How I Met Your Mother, guess I got behind there, and an episode of Clone Wars.

I did some heavy searching of the main job website and found a low paying part time local something to apply for, so that's more than nothing I guess. Thank the gods I still had a resume attached to an application in my outgoing box or I'd have had to go get it off backup disk. The USB is still being sick, so I've no access to anything on there.

It's getting chilly now. I've changed to having a long sleeve / indoors / house shirt over my T-shirt. I've got my jacket thing too for later.

That's all I have new to talk about, which I always wonder if it's worth mentioning since I've said that stuff countless times before, heh.

Day 268 - 3/26 - Burst it

It's early morning, nearing 10. I've got a few minutes to kill before leaving for aquatics mini work so I thought I'd say hello. Hello peeps.

The USB is still effectively dead, however, it's been working in bursts. It will seem fine for anywhere between five seconds and five minutes then forget everything it knows. During one of the longer bursts this morning I got week 38 current. During a later burst I got to post, woot! So now my peeps are updated. And, anything in my domain can be retrieved off of it later, so I can use that as a backup for the four pages I've made major updates to if the USB doesn't work long enough to make a real backup on CD.

I hope my money comes soon so I can get my netbook and finally have my data stored in a safe place. This might work might not might catch a virus thing is... worrisome.

Thought about getting a breakfast nom, but as it's nearing 10 I thought I'd just wait until lunch. Even though it's only $2, that's more that I can save for the netbook. Once I have it I've got some flexibility again. Once I get my other monies I'll be able to get caught up on the car and contacts and be able to start up a tiny bit of savings from May on.

WoW... May... am I really so close to the end of year one? I guess it's about 3.5 months away. I was really hoping to end book one on a happy note and make book two about my recovery. How sad to think I may end book one at the end of a year due to it growing too large in size.

I noticed The Order Of The Stick forums have OOTS style emoticons. I'll have to contact them when I have my netbook and see if I can use them at my site and in Epic Fail. Some are too cute. That's my only real web comic. I know I was talking a lot about Girl Genius there for a while, but I forget about it often and only check now and then. It's much closer to a standard print comic, which I have never followed for long. I'll likely stop following it at some point. OOTS, on the other hand, is always full of win. I check up on it about every other day. They put up three comics a week, so it's such a big part of my daily life I just don't think to talk about it, heh.

Guess that's it for now. I should scoot off to aquatics mini work. K thx bye.

Time passes

It's nearing 4 and I'm nomming a snack. I think I actually managed to get a backup burn of the USB, woot. And in even better news the ex-debt consolidation peeps said they would mail the check today. So I should have that and be able to order my netbook on Monday, maybe even get it by next Friday.

I tried wearing my stronger contacts, but I got a massive headache after about an hour, so I've dropped back down to my regular pair. Such a pain to see everything/everyone which is more than 10 feet away as blurry. Only, you know, not a literal pain like the stronger contacts are, heh.

A nice rabb1t peep offered me a couple of single player games they have for when I get my netbook, but the ones they offered I already have, hehe. I may put those on, maybe not. They aren't ones I play, well, really ever since I finished them. Now Thief 3 I go back to all the time and Evil Genius is one I've gone back to several times over the years. That's actually one of the few I haven't beaten yet. (I think mostly due to it being a completely and totally linear game. I don't really feel motivated to keep trying when I lose at those. I'll likely pick up Diablo 2 as well for teh cheap. I'm tempted to get Puzzle Quest: Galactrix, but reviewers say it's not one you really feel like playing much once you've beaten it. The first one was like that too, so I may wait on that one and maybe just replay the first. I did notice an old school favorite, X-Com. It is now up on Steam for $5. I may get that one. I remember it was tons of fun back in the day. Someone made a spiritual successor, so I may look into that as well. I think the first recent game I'll try is Mass Effect. It's on sale for teh cheap these days.

The few people who are here on campus are just talking about their last finals, saying goodbyes, and talking about where they are going for break. I always wanted to do that - go somewhere during break - but I've never had the money. Good gods, I think it's been like 15 years since I had the monies to actually take a vacation anywhere. I really want to do a BlizzCon, but that's like $250+ not even counting the hotel, airfare, or food. Someday I'll hopefully be able to consider doing that.

Well... that's all the rambling I can think up for now.

Day 269 - 3/27 - Nommin' like Henry the VIII

Dinner nom at 5:45 at the gym mini work. I'm nommin' like Henry the VIII. I've got a whole chicken for teh cheap and I've got no way to cut it. I've ripped off the whole leg bit to nom. Got some chips too, so it's a whole feast.

I decided to get up 'early' today and set my alarm for 8 after moving to campus from my sleeping spot so I could have some computer time before work. It's funny because I'd woken up and looked at the timer and it was counting down from 10 seconds left 'till it would go off. Not sure where I'll go this week when my move the car alarm goes off at 7. I can't slip in to campus and just set a second alarm or sleep in like I can when school is open.

I checked some boards and helped some peeps. I've got about three I'm doing PMs with right now, so sometimes I'm like eek confused and have to review the messages, hehe. Looks like one or two may be settled now, so that's good as I won't have time to look back through messages next week to refresh my mind on which person this was I'm talking to at the time.

It's warm today. Like genuinely spring time shorts wearing kind of warm. I will put my shorts on tomorrow if it holds. I'll look for cammo shorts on Monday too if I remember. Aquatics mini work is about one block from that store.

Pretty happy today since the weather is warming and I can have my netbook sooner than expected - finally.

For some odd reason my index finger is getting all torn up where I open cans with. It's odd because I've been drinking cans for like the past two or three years now? I use cans because I would leave them on my shelf each day. That way I'd know how many I've drunk and could better control it. Not so much for cost reasons mind you, but weight and hyperness. Lately it seems if I drink more than six in a day I get jittery and have trouble sleeping. Three to four is average, four to five if I'm not paying attention or doing a lot of gaming.

Guess that's all my rambly thoughts for today. K thx bye.

Day 270 - 3/28 - Threeeee deeeee

Today has been pretty good so far. As I suspected, school isn't totally closed. The swim team was in the showers when I got there as well as another team hopping into a shuttle. I got a quick shower because it was barely warm. I didn't want to stick around with it at that temperature.

I got a hello from a peep who wished me well and asked if I needed any stuffs. Maybe I can has some foods. Helped a little on the boards, but as usual there wasn't much going on. Having a chicken sandwich for lunch nom. I only ate half of the chicken yesterday, so I've got a decent amount still. It's warm and sunny; a sign showed 75F. Later tonight I'll do laundry and possibly see Monsters vs. Aliens for teh lolz with a free pass. The military supply store is up near there so I may see if they have some cool shorts... unless I forget to check, hehe.

That's really it for my day so far. Pretty sleepy today. I got about 7.5 hours before moving the car to school, but couldn't sleep once I got there. I'll probably zonk for a bit later. It's odd not having any school stuff to ponder or worry about. Well, only one week break before that starts up again. Guess that's all for now.

Oh, like PS, the USB was acting normal when I used it for a bit on Friday. Hopefully I can use that safely, though I will send it in to be replaced once I get my netbook. I wonder though if it would be faster to transfer files over from the DVD/CD or the USB or if they would be the same speed since they are both connecting to the netbook in the same way. Suppose it doesn't really matter as both are quick enough. K really done now.

Time passes

So I get to the theater and there is a sign that says there are shows of Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D. Zomg I can has 3D? Yes please. Zomg the 3D is so super awesome now. I haven't seen anything in 3D for a really long time, so it's not really surprising. I'm nomming cheezburger. Not the dinner I planned but I think Panda is closed. I just missed it. That's it really. It's sad there aren't any IMAX 3D theaters near by. There is one sort of close, but it's about 45 minutes, not super close.

Guess that's it for tonight. Wooooo for threeeee deeeee.

Day 271 - 3/29 - Return to Azeroth

It's 10 now, just had my private time shower. They turned down the heat in the locker room, so it's kind of chilly, and like yesterday the water was only warm. It's ok though I guess. I still feel more normal than not when I can shower. At first I was worried campus would actually be closed. The gate to the locker rooms / pool was closed at around 7 when I first cruised by. I took a nap at the tennis park and came back again at around 9:15 and it was opened and everyone is here; Vollyballers, Soccer players, I think Baceballers, and of course the church people. Though, do you still call a church church if it's not in a church? Heh. I suppose "worship".

I'll chill here for an hour then go wait for the slow public library to open. I found out why they are so slow; apparently the whole district shares one main system / bandwidth. So, as libraries fill they pull all the others down with them - so lame. I think there are like five libraries in their district. The other one I go to isn't quite as slow, but the systems are lower res. My netbook will be way more powerful and have nearly the same res.

That's probably it for today. It's warm again, so that's awesome. After my two hours at the library that's really it for my day. There will be like eight hours of nothing to do.

I so need a vacation - something where I can shut off the brain and not worry about anything. Ever since I was about 12 I've had to pretty much do everything for myself. Laundry, planning meals, fixing meals, straightening up my stuff, organizing my stuff, planning when it's ok to buy new stuff, doing work stuff, doing shopping... it all makes you go crazy if you have to do it all yourself. At least if I had a sweetie she could do some of those things and I wouldn't have to do them all the time. I'm starting to see now why people with monies don't care and just toss monies at things. When you have to think and worry about all these seemingly little things it just makes you crazy.

It will be nice when I get my netbook. At least a few tasks will be easier. Hopefully I can get my regular email working on it and I won't have to use that stupid web email interface. I don't know if I can without a regular outgoing mail thingy though. I don't know network stuff, heh. And I can has games. That will be super helpful to lift my mood. I reeeaaallly hope I can find a regular place to play Warcraft from. Even just doing a few quests and crafting would be super super happy. Plus, once I make connections I could be invited to raids. I could always hop onto a system at the game center for those few hours since the netbook can't do raids.

Guess that's probably all the rambling I'll have for today. K thx bye.

Time passes

Waiting for the library to open. I've decided to have a bit of fun today instead of just sitting around doing nothing. Since I'd be reactivating my account soon anyways I've decided to reactivate it today and play for a bit at the game center. I still have three hours for teh free, another deal for one hour for teh free, plus a coupon. That gets me six hours for only the cost of one. On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I can use a coupon and get two for the cost of one. So, before the netbook comes I can has 12 hours of fun for the cost of four (like $12 total). After that I can hopefully find a good spot to play for teh free. But, yea, that's for teh cheap, so I'll return to my fun world today and do that. Plus, since I can't micro dinners while school is closed, going to the game center gets me access to a micro, cutting dinner cost by like half. Add that back in and it will only 'cost' about $6 to play for those 12 hours. So, yeeeaaa. I'll do that after my library time.

Time passes

My day is over, but I had tons of fun. Yeeeaaa for fun! I got to see the two friends I grouped with a lot back in December. They said they missed me and I've missed them. Yeeeaaa for online friends. I didn't do any crafting. I just focused on leveling and testing out a few new talents. (Well, new talent builds.) I figured I'd push as quick as I could since I don't know how combat worthy I'll be on the netbook. I got about 60% of a level, which was surprising. Had lots of fun even though all I did for crafting was a daily quest. (Which is super important as that gives you one token per 24 real world hours and I need to get lots of those for higher gem cutting abilities.)

The day ends where it began; at the tennis park. On my way home... well, to the sleeping spot/area, as much of a home as I have these days. Sad I think of it like that... I passed lots of houses that were dark and thought of all the people in bed, all the people soon to be in bed, and all those enjoying what is left of their night. It isn't even 9 yet. Normally I'd still be up for about another three hours, but not now, not for quite a while. My excitement from my day wound down, and as it did all the sadness that is my current life returned. I again started to wonder... how much longer will it be until I am one of those people? How much longer until I'm truly reestablished and have my own system set up again, with my own bed, and my own TV to watch shows, my own kitchen to prepare / get / store food, my own shower to get clean and feel fresh before work in the morning. As the excitement of my day fades I'm left with just the sadness of my life. And it seems like it could go on forever.

Day 272 - 3/30 - Ordering the netbook

It's early in the morning at 8:45. I'm pretty sleepy but couldn't sleep after I moved the car. I got to campus at around 7 and to my surprise the locker room / pool gate was open and there were half a dozen cars scattered through the lot. I went in to take a shower after trying to sleep for a bit. It was on the cold side of lukewarm and it seems there is no pressure. So it seems the showers may have been open, but they are gonna be very sad to use as it seems they have been shut down. After about 8:15 people started showing up. Three or so came in while I was taking my shower. Since I've been at the car I've seen half a dozen more. There must be a class of some kind. People have bags, but no towels to dry themselves. So it seems something may be going on to have things open for, but the showers won't be worth it. I could at least use them for water to take a quick rinse of critical parts. I guess we'll see if it's the same in the coming days.

Today should get pretty exciting sometime between three and four. Chances are very good I'll get my money and can order my netbook. If the people were truthful in their statement this will be mail cycle travel day three, so I should get it. I guess we'll see. Hopefully the ex-roomies won't be around - they shouldn't be - and I can also vacuum the car and do a touch of rearranging in preparation for the extra couple of boxes the netbook stuff will generate.

It's just over an hour until I need to go to aquatics mini work. I don't know if I'll stay in the school lot until then or not. It's chilly here in the shade. I've got shorts on. Hopefully I won't have to change to pants later.

Guess that's all for now.

Time passes

Zomg my monies came and it was even a bit more than the highest guess I had. Zomg I just spent nearly all my monies. hehe. But the good news is that I got eeeeeevrything and set it to faster delivery. (Delivery is super cheap because I have a special account.) I got the Asus 1000HE with 2 gig to upgrade its brain, a 'lil mouse, a super cheap gamer type mouse pad (like $7), a sticker for teh lolz, ink so I can print out full color prints of my Death Knight talents (and, you know, future school stuff), Diablo I / II / Expansion and Mass Effect. (Which was cheap at $17. Hopefully the netbook can handle it so I can have even more games than the three I'll add that I already own.) And a case to keep things safe ($12). Yeeeaaa! Yeeeaaa! In two days I can has my stuffs, though I'm guessing it will have to charge overnight before I can use it.

I should have enough left to be able to get my tires in 1.5 weeks when I get paid again too. That will be a huge relief to not have to worry about fearing for my life anytime I drive anywhere. Hopefully I'll have enough left to get my eye exam and contacts two weeks after that. It's always such a pain to see everything blurry.

Um... I don't know what to do now, heh. I've got about 1.5 hours to kill then I'll go play at the game center again (pay for one hour, get one hour free) and I can micro dinner there. Playing for one hour and having a micro dinner is actually cheaper than fast food (and not playing), heh. Add on a coupon for a second hour and woot! Wednesday or Thursday I should be able to see if I can find a spot to play from then on from my netbook. A person at aquatics mini work mentioned they got a WiFi signal there, so I may be able to play there. I forgot that the library for that city is only about a block away, so if they are connected to that they may be too slow. We'll see. Finally, after what seems like waiting forever we'll finally see soon enough.

Guess that's it for now. Eeeeee so exciting.

Day 273 - 3/31 - Your order has shipped

It's pretty early at 8:45. Back in the day I'd have not gotten up until 10 or 11 if I didn't have to. It seems still so strange to be getting up quite literally at the crack of dawn to move the car.

I couldn't sleep after moving even though the pool / locker room door was open at school. I just kind of rested from 7-8. At 8 I noticed Electrician (formerly Businessman) doing a jog then going to the showers. I figured I'd go shower after he was done. Oddly though he came right back to his car wearing the same cloths. I figured that meant the locker rooms were closed, but I thought I'd check them anyways. They are open, but the shower area was closed off by plastic sheets, there were signs saying 'closed for repair', and there were some guys going crazy with drills and jack hammers. I guess the pressure drop and cold water may not have been a shut down. Hopefully they will be fixed soon and I can get lots of nice hot showers. I'm guessing they will be down at least today and tomorrow.

It's nearing 9. Not much to do today besides my two library hours and a couple hours at the game center if I do that. It's $2 per hour I think all day today so I can has an hour for teh cheap and an hour for teh free. It's kind of sad; they finally upgraded from their like five year old systems, but they upgraded in a crazy way. They spent too much on the CPU by going quad core then totally skimped on graphics with an Nvidia 9500 GT. I saw the nice Brian person yesterday and I'm like, 'dude, for like $20 more each you could have gotten a vastly more powerful 9600 GT with double the shaders.' I guess he did it about a month ago and didn't see good prices. (His brother picked the parts.) I'm like, 'this is what my site is for.' I guess there are 17 upgraded systems, and business prices (vs. home buyer prices), but still. It seems that he could have gotten way more power for a tiny bit more cost. Thank the gods he got BFG, one of the only two companies that allow you to trade up. I'll have to remind him of that. He's covered for like three months by that. Though he may not be able to do that due to mailing / replacement times.

But yeah, it will likely be a slow day with roughly 12-13 more total hours and only about four hours of stuff to keep me occupied.

My friend/ex-roomie was at the ex-home yesterday, so I didn't get to do my filing/cleaning I was going to do. Maybe I can cruise by and see if that's an option today.

That's it for now.

Time passes

Well poo, libraries are closed today for Cesar Chavez day. I thought it was odd that all of the vehicles the ex-roommate who hates me were still parked at the ex-house. I guess maybe he has it off. Well that's lame. Now all I have is time at the game center. Even if I got more time than I originally planned to, which I probably shouldn't, I'd still have 4+ hours to kill.

Bother. This means I'll have to use time at the game center to do regular non-gaming things.

Soon enough... soon enough I can has netbook and hopefully be at least somewhat free.

Time passes

Some interesting stuff happened since I last wrote. I've been chatting with someone who's been wanting to help. She sends much encouragement and caring. She's local, so she asked if I needed any blankets or towels, but I have those. She sent me a donation since I didn't need that and can't really store much in the way of food. I also got another donation and the peep mentioned they love Epic Fail and to keep my spirits up. So those will help with tires or maybe even get a current version of Microsoft Word. School has it cheaper than regular stores if I recall. That's super important because I need it to save things as a .pdf. Once I get that I can keep those current all the time. It's ok without though. I can keep my web stuff all current without.

The ghost was down too, so I went for a surprise dinner. He sent an email in the morning about coming down, but what with the holiday I didn't get it until I logged in at the game center. Good thing I decided to do that to be sure to check emails for the day.

It's late now, about 10:15. I'm in the sleeping spot using my phone for just a tiny light to write this in stealth mode. The walker was here a few minutes ago. It was weird because he was in a different spot that he could have maybe seen me from. I think I spotted him first and he hid quick enough that he didn't see me. But again, I'm pretty sure he's a teen and wouldn't care.

My stuff should all get here in the morning, but the ex-roomie who hates me is apparently home all the time now, so I can't hang out in the garage and set things up. I'll have to pretty much grab it and go. Hopefully I can unpack it at least. I won't be able to stay and install stuff in the garage. I guess that's ok. I can do that from the slow public library.

Guess that's it for this week's fail. Hopefully I'll post it and you'll be reading this on Friday or Saturday.

Day 274 - 4/1 - I can has netbook

It's way too early in the morning time at just before 7:30. I'm killing a few hours at the tennis park before I go over to the ex-house to camp my shipment. I collected up my bag full of win to install later. If the initial charge is less than eight hours I'll be able to charge it and have it ready tonight. Less than six and I can charge it and install some stuff. If I have to wait until the morning to install stuff that would be fine. I'll have three solid hours at aquatics mini work to install stuff if need be. I picked up; Flash, Photoshop, GoLive, Word, and Pagemaker. And for games; World of Warcraft, Thief 3, Evil Genius, and Warcraft 3 with the Frozen Throne expansion. That's my everything and a bit more. On the way I also have Mass Effect, the only game I won't have played yet, and Diablo I / II / Expansion. Having my electronic world back should do wonders for balancing me. Even if I can't find a place to play wirelessly I should have plenty to keep me busy. (Not to mention I can finally search and track all my job sites properly by bookmarks and burnt web links.) It will just be a matter of finding versions of the .exe for some games to allow me to play without the disk. Sure, I can carry around the external disk drive, but the point of the netbook is to be light and super portable. Negating that by carrying around a drive all the time would be silly.

I was hoping to take a nap for a bit during this time, but I'm too excited. Hopefully I can shut my eyes and at least rest a bit if I can't actually sleep.

Guess that's it for now. Hopefully the shipment will come in the morning and I can get it charging right away. It would be sad if it came late in the evening and I wound up just sitting on the curb all day waiting for it. I would have waited in the garage on a chair, but with the ex-roomie who hates me there all the time my only options will be the curb where I can be stealthed behind a bush, out front of the garage, or in my car, out of his view if he comes out of the house for some reason.

K thx bye. Happy news later no doubt.

Time passes

It's a couple of minutes after 3 and I'm installing the first of many items. It's so tiny and cute. It actually only took about two hours to charge. The light went from blue to green, so it's clear when it's got a full charge. Pretty exciting. Being able to buy a something nice, a something special, that I picked, makes me feel... well like me, not a generic person. It has that nice "new electronics smell" - that warmed plastic that feels like a hug for your geek brain / heart. Woah, it's done installing that already. ... Strange, one program claims it needs a license. Well, I guess I'll have to call and ask about that or not use it. I've only needed it twice so far, so it's a non-critical item. ... Yeah, I don't like how they use shiny plastic. There are finger and hand marks everywhere and I've only just got it. I don't understand why they don't go with 'cheap' gamer pad plastic. That looks just fine and doesn't mark up. Seems my USB info pulled over just fine, so I should be fine on current info without needing to go from backup.

I have no time left here at the library, so some things must be left undone until I can get online. I should be able to get all my programs and games ready to go though. It seems to be going pretty quick.

Guess I'll focus on installing now. K thx bye.

Time passes

It's nearing 7, totally hungry and freezing. All day some blinds have been down, blocking out the sun at my window, and there is an air conditioning vent blowing on me. The programs I use installed pretty fast. I think it was less than 1.5 hours, but I'd forgotten MMOGs like WoW take forever and a day to install. I won't get that installed and ready to go until tomorrow sometime. I likely won't have time to install one of the older games either. I don't want to try and install stuff without power for fear of how fast the battery would get spent. I actually did input some of Epic Fail so that was fun. I can't stand the dumb track pad being on though. It would randomly flip my mouse up or highlight stuff when I got too close to it. I turned it off now, but I'm just installing and hoping the freed resources speeds it up.

The system is lower res than the school systems and some public library systems, but it dominates in specs over the public library systems and seems like a decent match for web surfing and my program work vs. the school systems. (Granted I don't have access to their more powerful design systems and haven't actually been on the web with the netbook yet.) The screen isn't HDTV bright, but it seems plenty bright enough for indoors even as low as 40%. I can see how some would find the keyboard too small and annoying, but I think most would be fine with it. So far it seems like an excellent choice for a traveler who just wants web, email, light gaming, and a few other programs.

Looking at the specs for Mass Effect it may not be able to pass minimum requirements there, so I may not be able to play. I'll know more tomorrow when I try and install it.

That's likely it for tonight. Gonna head off to eat when the current install is done and that will be just about it for my night. Night peeps. I'm so happy to be like normal. It seems so strange to be able to update what I want when I want again.

Day 275 - 4/2 - I loves me netbook

It's pretty early in the morning, not even 8 yet. I went to school after getting up to see if I could get a shower, but the construction people were still working on it. I thought about finishing my installs in the time I have before work, but there was only one plug in the open area. The construction crew was set up where there were other plugs. The crew was walking back and forth past the open plug, so I didn't want to be in their way. I did recall there being a plug near the slow public library, so that's where I am now. I've got two hours 'till I should head to work which should give me plenty of time to complete my installs.

A few thoughts about it so far... The keyboard is sort of at risk. Most keyboards have a bit of space between the keys, but this has a bit more space than usual. (I'm guessing to help dissipate heat.) I'm not sure if that is common for portables, but it means that it is very at risk of crumbs falling in. You would want to keep food very far away. The screen seems great and it is visible even at the lower brightness settings. (Which I'd guess you could use to save power. When I've changed it the remaining time estimate didn't seem to change by more than a handful of minutes.) Although, due to its smaller size, I find that about 15" away from the screen is ideal for me. For those without a measuring tool that would be about 2/3 the distance from your eyes to your lap. For lap use I'd think you'd want at least a 12" screen. (I'm predicting the next mainstream batch of netbooks will be 12" at 1280x720 resolution (aka 720p) with 100% size keyboards. It wouldn't surprise me to see them around the end of this year. It also wouldn't surprise me if there were a lot more gaming focused chips as well, such as the Nvidia Ion.) I did a touch of gaming last night and I can see how most wouldn't want to play more than a few hours on this little screen. Things like text changes or web surfing would likely be fine for longer periods. Me, I'm good with it. Sure, I wouldn't do it once I'm in a home, but I'd likely have no hesitation booting it up to look something up on the web if I'm playing on my desktop. Yeah, I could tab out, but why do that if I can have it up on a second screen?

I've always thought if I were rich I'd make a "gamer companion screen"; something like a 6" 800x600 resolution screen for just these kinds of uses. Games could be coded to put maps there, or quest instructions, or you could do things like set voice chat windows there. If it could be priced at $50-75 and get developer support it could be huge.

Anyways, busy installing so I guess that's it so far today. Hope peeps are having a good Thursday.

Oh, couple of closing thoughts... I did see the scary spider again outside my car climbing up the side of the window. Hopefully I shooed him onto the ground at the park. He seemed unhurt from before, but he did fall when I shooed him, so I'm not sure if he fell outside of the car or into the car. I'm pretty sure outside. I looked around for him for like 10 minutes and couldn't find him anywhere. Also, the scheduler person asked me if I could do an extra day at the aquatics mini work, so that may change to four days now. Not a huge improvement, but it could be about $150 more a month, so that's something I guess.

K. Now that's it. Bye for now.

Time passes

Slow library is slllooowww. I'm trying to connect wirelessly and it's moving too slow to load even the most basic sites. I'll probably give up and log into a regular system. The good news is that the librarian said there was no time limit (unlike the two hour cap on the systems.) Of course if I can't get anywhere 2 hours vs. 8 hours wouldn't matter. So far, the three different places I've tried have been total poo for connection speed and I've failed to connect. It would be pretty sad if I had to resort to the wireless broadband subscription to connect. Hopefully school will have decent speeds. I'll know more on that Monday. I suppose it would be ok if I don't get Intarweb access outside of school. The ability to game or do homework or things like input Epic Fail outside of school is massive on its own. The odd thing was that I didn't see the free city network outside of my ex-house. Back just about 1.5 years ago I used that and it often times had tolerable speeds, but it was nowhere to be found from the street when I tested earlier.

Ok, disconnected and I'm going to try a regular system for a bit then do some Epic Fail entry. Bye for now.

Day 276 - 4/3 - Looking for a node

It's about 9:45 and I'm peeping a node at Starbucks. It connected to their main login page after a few seconds. Not great speed, but tolerable. I don't have an account yet, so I have to set that up later. I figure I can do that at aquatics mini work and do any final setup steps at the slow public library if I have to go online first. Hopefully it won't cost the $20 the main site references, as there are adds you get free time with an active Starbucks card, but I guess we'll see. That would be much cheaper than the $60 for the wireless broadband (and +$100 for the modem.) People have been doing things like YouTube videos at school on netbooks, so I know the connection speed there is tolerable, if not good, so I really just need something to cover the times when school is closed. I may need to go to the game center though to play. I may not be able to find a strong enough connection out in the world to play from. If that's the case I guess that's ok. I can go a couple of times a week for a few hours per visit with my current income. While I never expected there to be nodes to connect to everywhere I went, I had no idea it would be this troublesome to find a spot. It seems like each connection only goes for about 1/2 to 1 block, and even then the signals seem really weak even if you are in the building they are coming from. In the future, when I'm reestablished in a home, I'll certainly consider leaving my wireless open and unlocked for peeps to use. I've been needing to get on one for several days now to finish setting up my system and I just haven't found anywhere to do it. It's such a pain and so sad.

Well... guess that's it for now. Gotta run off to aquatics mini work. K thx bye.

Time passes

At gym mini work now at just past 5:30. I'm microing dinner because I've been suuuppper hungry all day today. I showed up a bit early to shave my parts and take a shower. Yea for being super clean and shaved soft.

It seems extremely unlikely I'll be doing any WoW on my netbook. Not due to any kind of netbook limitations but because I can't find any nodes to connect to at all. It seems I may still be limited to connecting at school. I may have to spend time at the game center if I want to play. I suppose it's ok. With the aquatics mini work, the current extra hours beyond my critical/basic needs, I can manage a few hours a week and still be able to save a small something as time goes on. I'll do a test probably tomorrow or Sunday of the Starbucks network to see what kind of connection they have (you can get a two hour pass for like $4), but gaming is extremely unlikely from what I've seen of their connection strength. I'm guessing, if I get time there, it would just replace the nonexistent connection from the public libraries. I haven't tried to connect here yet, nomming dinner first, but I'm hopeful as I've seen people connect here before.

Seems Mass Effect is not playable without a true gaming graphics chip. I was finally online so it was able to verify the license and when I tried to run the game it failed all kinds of things and stopped the program. Something to look forward to I suppose once I'm reestablished. At only $17 I felt it was a decent risk to take, as it would give me a gauge of how well the system does with current 3D games. It's not like pizza or something, where it's nommed and gone, or spoils if unused. It will be waiting as long as it takes. Evil Genius may not be playable either. I'm early in the game and it was already showing signs of slowdown. But, for some reason it does that regardless of how powerful your system is, so further testing is required. It needs the game disk to play, so without an altered .exe to run the game with no disk I may be better off without that game. If I can remove my 'needs a disk to play' games I can stop carrying the external DVD drive. You know, unless I decide I want to see a movie or something, heh.

Guess that's all for now, possibly all for the night. K thx bye.

Day 277 - 4/4 - I can play, yeeeaaa

It's nearing 1:30 and I'm in Starbucks cleaning up my system a bit. I'll be going to have lunch in a few minutes. I've been here for nearly 5 hours! I ran my WoW test and zomg the network is fast as a slow DSL line / fast modem connection. (With a few hitch points here and there.) It's not quite fast enough to stream video, but fast enough to download video. I downloaded and updated what I needed for all my stuffs. I also got a chance to patch and test WoW and zomg I can play. It's not amazing mind you but certainly enough to do my daily quest and crafting. The options auto detected my 1024x600 resolution and I've got all settings at the lowest save for distance, environment detail, and spell detail, which are at about 20% from minimum, sound is at medium (where it defaulted.) Got through Dalaran, the most populated city, without too much trouble. Things are more a matter of my connection getting questionable than they are running at those settings. Really busy combat with multiple targets does lag me though. Now I just have to ponder the question... I get two hours for teh free if I cycle like $5 through my Starbucks coffee card each month. Easy enough to do with a hot chocolate now and then. and/or I can drop $20 a month for unlimited access. I could certainly use more than 2 hours on Sunday, but would I need it? The connection is light-years faster than the library. (Though I guess parsecs faster would be more accurate, ha!) It certainly would be a lot cheaper than the game center. I'd burn that much in about seven hours at the game center; certainly something to ponder.

Not sure what else to say. I may not have anything else to talk about. Weekends are pretty slow. I even did a quick cycle of board checks. Guess that's it for now. K thx bye.

Time passes

Decided to have some Panda nom. It's about 7:45 now. I'm all, 'lawl, I'm having Panda nom and playing WoW through the wall at Starbucks.'

I overheard a Starbucks worker peep talking about games and PC upgrades when I was there this morning. I gave him a rabb1t card and told him about teh rabb1t site, hehe. Seems he knows what's new and all, so probably unnecessary, but he said he liked to get as much info as he could, so it's all good.

I got all excited about playing for teh cheap and dropped $20 to sign up for a month's unlimited access, but upon reflection now I wonder if I'll keep it. The main thing is that most of the time I'll have access through school, so it won't be necessary unless school is closed (like now). If I played during the week it would have to be after work, but before it got too late due to when they close. Another reason is that after an hour or so of playing (or a couple of not playing) I've noticed the netbook gets pretty warm. Not hot or anything, but I was beginning to wonder if it is really designed to run at max load for that long. So I'm thinking maybe playing a few hours then letting it cool a bit would be for the best. It will depend on what happens next weekend. If I can access the school net when school is closed (after hours Saturday and anytime Sunday) I may indeed cancel the unlimited time. Keeping the card active with just $5 cycling through and getting two hours for teh free may be enough game time, as I could get enough other time through school if it is up during those times.

Soooo excited today, couldn't resist. I is an excitable bunny sometimes. Time will cool my thoughts and experience (next weekend) will temper my (future) actions.

I got 1/5 of level 78 and did my special daily quest. Likely tomorrow I'll gain a bit more and another special daily quest.

I have an extra gym shift in the morning; forget if I mentioned that. I looked through the library for recent movies and they had none, lame. I'll have to check school for some on Monday. That'd be something else fun to do with my netbook while school is closed and I have no access.

That's all for now. K thx bye.

Day 278 - 4/5 - Early questing with hot chocolate

It's nearing 9:40 and I'm at the extra gym mini work shift. Pretty sleepy today though I had super deep sleeping last night. Before coming here I burnt a bit of the charge on my card to get a hot chocolate and coffee cake and play WoW for a bit. The coffees aren't as expensive as my friend/ex-roomie implied once back in the day. She mentioned that she dropped like $5 for them, so I always thought they were expensive. Seems that is only the case for the biggest size with extra stuff. You can get a small one for like $2.50. I'll probably just get a hot chocolate on Sunday from now on. The food cost will kill ya. Back in the day during my Associates I got hot chocolate all the time. I think there was one day a week I got it regularly, so it's funny that I forgot about that.

After work I'll take a shower before I leave. Then I'll be off to do laundry. The rest of my day will be spent bouncing between a few different Starbucks. Since you get two hours for teh free you can pretty much be invisible for a few hours if you go in and just go online. After that I think, if you aren't a regular, they start to look at you funny if you don't buy something, heh.

No signal here at this mini work either. It's sad that I have no signal at any of them.

School is open starting tomorrow so I can finally start to get caught up on shows and see what kind of connection I get from school. My first class isn't until Tuesday night, so I don't have that to worry about for a bit.

Guess that's all for now. K thx bye.

Time passes

It's nice and warm today. A sign showed 77F earlier. It is most certainly one of those invite friends over for a BBQ, movies, and games night. I'm taking a short break away from the system for a bit. Even though it's awesome to have my own system again I need to have some private time in a non-public area with as little stimulus as possible. My car in the parking lot is as isolated as I can get these days. I suppose I could connect just fine from here for some privacy if I wanted to, heh. Though I know the signal is lost just about when I leave the parking lot. WiFi seems to have a very small radius.

Plus, I'm getting away just to get away. I've checked boards three or four times and played for about 3.5 hours today so far. Even with working 4 hours this morning I've still got like 9 total to have killed after that. As of now we've got just under four more before I could consider checking the sleeping spot.

I'm beginning to wonder if keeping positive and being completely reconnected to people and most things is actually making me more sad. Sure, I'm more satisfied spiritually now that I have my own system and proper access to my sites, not to mention being able to game again or work on my site whenever I want. But it is a reattachment to the things I've been missing, an affirmation of 'yes, these are the things you can only partially have'. When I couldn't have them at all, when I was forced into restricted positions, it seemed easier to accept that I didn't or couldn't have them. Now it almost seems like I have all my toys back, but they've been broken in some way.

I hope and suppose I'll still recover some day, but for now, for the moment, it seems yet another time I'm missing and sad about the things everyone else seems to have.

I should go eat. I'm starving. And maybe play a bit and check boards again before it gets too much later. There are between 1.5 and 3.5 hours of access left depending where I go.

Oh, here is a happy thing to think about - bunny day teh rabb1t way. On my bunny day the bunny brings candies and toys in a basket. There are usually three or more different candies - different types to pick from is very important. My favorite are chocolate covered marshmallows, though straight up chocolate is ok (but destroys me if I have more than a small amount), and a few peeps are nice too, but wooooo they are raw sugar. Little games are common; bubble blowing kits, water blowing rings games, small Legos kit, some action figures or miniatures, those kinds of things. On rare occasion the bunny will bring a super special something, like maybe a movie or recently released video game. The bunny is all about surprises and showing appreciation. (With zero expectations, unlike Xmas which has too many expectations.) Hopefully everyone will have a super nice bunny day next week.

Day 279 - 4/6 - Testing the school WiFi Intarwebs

Here at mini aquatics work at about 11:45. I got a chance to test the school connection this morning before coming to work. It was ok for boards and email checking, but that's it. It would be nowhere near fast or stable enough to stream video, but fine for video that pre-loads. So, it might be fine during the day, but I'd certainly want to use their land line desktop systems for video watching, and I fear that the WiFi will get slower as more students get on. When I tested it was only 8:30, so there weren't many connected yet since it was so early. It seems I would very definitely be well served by keeping the Starbucks unlimited connection if even to just use it a couple of hours a few days during the week to play and bounce between two or three shops on Sunday all day since I'd have all of the day I'd need a connection. Even at just 15 hours a week total that would cut the price down to $0.35 per hour, 1/10th the cost of the game center (at the full price per hour), so that's for teh cheap.

Not much happened so far today, just was on campus for about 1.5 hours and now I'm here. Did the quick test and watched an episode of Dollhouse.

That's all for now. Probably more bla bla later.

Day 280 - 4/7 - April showers

Got some time to chat at aquatics mini work, about 10:45. There has been some poop focused on me lately. Yesterday the lifeguards were like, 'Dude, you gotta start answering the phone.' Apparently this is part of my job. That's fine, but on my very first day I asked, 'What if someone calls?' And one of them replied, "We take the phone out to the pool area. Don't worry about it. We'll get it." So, this implied to me that was part of their job, as they've taken it out every day I've been here and four out of five days they just sit out there in the shack and do nothing but watch the swimmers. (That one or maybe two days a week one of them teaches a class for like 45 minutes.) I don't really mind getting the phone, but their attitude was like, 'We don't want to do it, you get it.' Today I went to take it out there and they refused it. They were like, 'That's all you.' I'm not a lifeguard. I don't know what it takes, but it doesn't seem so difficult the total duties couldn't be split. Before I was here my position didn't exist and they were doing all of my job duties and theirs. While I was in the cafeteria for dinner a higher functioning person started talking to me. He seemed average/normal at first, but I knew it could be problematic when he started obsessing on dates and facts. He started talking about my cammo and when I said I hadn't been in the military and didn't know my uncle’s rank or division (he did serve back in the day) he said, "Well, you are a limited person and I don't associate with limited people." Last night I got an email saying, 'I see you spent hundreds getting a netbook instead of saving it to move back in somewhere. I guess this explains why you are still in this situation.' Obviously this guy has no real clue what it costs to live, particularly in my area. Even if I had kept it towards a deposit to move in it would have been less than 1/3 of the total I need, not counting the fact that only in recent weeks am I close to earning half of what I need per month to get reestablished in a place somewhere, not counting that just a few weeks ago I was barely making $250 a month. And this morning and last night Pepsi slipped from my hands and started spewing everywhere. So now there is Pepsi on my dash, inside of my windshield, and stuff. Some sad times for teh bunny lately.

It was super warm yesterday, bordering on 80F. I was sad that I didn't have shorts on. I set them out to wear this morning and now it's doing a medium strong rain. I had to go back to the ex-garage to get my trench out of storage. I'd taken that back about three weeks ago I think.

I am getting closer to emotional balance, but I'm still very fragile. I get to play WoW regularly now. I got caught up on Dollhouse, Heroes, the Office, and half caught up on Terminator. I probably won't have much time for shows or play between work and class tonight, but I may be able to eek in one or two shows and a quick quest.

I really don't know how close to recovery I am anymore. I can estimate what I can put into savings. I may get a few Thursday night shifts back, so that would help. But I still need a fair bit more income to begin the process. But, I haven't been able to put out a full time (or near full time) resume in I don't know how long. It feels like since before the year ended we hit a lockdown and all I've seen since is a dwindling offering of part time positions.

i got a few bunny day items on my way in to work this morning. It's too sad to think my friend/ex-roomie may get none, so I got some chocolate covered marshmallows which I'll mostly keep for myself , some egg shaped chocolate, and some Robin's Eggs; they are her favorite.

Trying to cheer up, but lately I is a saaaddd bunny.

Time passes

Dinner nom at just past 8. The day passed pretty quickly. I spent longer than I was originally expecting to after work playing, but I had fun. It did use up almost all of my time before class. Class was good. We did some activities and mingled with class peeps, so we had some lolz. Using the netbook to directly enter my notes was full of win. I couldn't get a signal in class though, so I won't be able to do anything really besides notes in that room.

I'll have about 1.5 hours of access after I finish eating, so I can finish Epic Fail and get it posted before 'bed'. Ooooh, tomorrow is Wednesday, no work. I'll have all day to catch up on TV shows, see students living their lives, take a shower, and I have class in the evening, so that should be different. There is an assignment already for the Tuesday class, so I may do that. It was interesting that the professor mentioned that the college is encouraging professors to put stuff online for teh free since last semester the professors I had had so much junk they made students buy.

Guess that's it for tonight. K thx bye.

Comments and stuff Copyright E. Stryker 2008, 2009
Pictures for Epic Fail are taken by me. :)

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