"After a while it dawned on me - it is because of all of the limitations in my life being so deeply rooted in my core. Because of all of the instability with my connection, because of my not having friends outside of the circle I play with (who are only on a few hours a few days a week, and not of the right level), because of fearing various inappropriate or unfriendly interaction with strangers, I simply didn't even consider the fact that I could make / host my own game."

Starting to feel better from my cold. There is a system scare later in the week.

Still pretty sick, wiped physically. There is an incident with an online chat room, and I am super creative making a soundtrack. (Though it's not officially released yet, so no link for you just yet. )

Mostly sick, but today I got meds and should be getting better soon.

The possible cold becomes very bad. Very sick all week.

Some good things this week. Two of my online friends are turning more to 'real' friends. But there is also some bad; I get a terrible fright and now I'm scared a lot of the time again, and as of yesterday I think I'm coming down with a pretty bad cold.

Nvidia GeForce GTX Meet-up bla bla, get close on a car, and I'm ok being not quite normal.

"I am in the dark hiding for the night. I feel like crying. All I want is to have my room again with my stuff out around me instead of boxed up; bed ready to sleep on, and my desktop and home theater stuff ready to go. I just want my regular life and regular freedoms back. Things seem so sad for me and I don't know if they will ever be happy again. "

Would I recommend people buy a GTX 680? Well, that's a tough question to answer. I really wouldn't recommend anyone spend that much unless you want to go triple monitor. (And typically due to the ram useage with triple monitor it is often better to not go single GPU.) I think most people are mainstream and will want to wait for the GTX 660 and 670 launch (guessing at the model numbers.) While I will adjust my system recommendations so a few have the GTX 680, but I think only those who really don't have to worry about budget will want to run right out to get one.

As it was in previous years, it is looking like bunny day may be a very good time to consider a new build. By then your choices for cards for both Nvidia series 6 and AMD series 7 should be plentiful and prices should be settled down a bit.

Poor quality voice chat makes bunnah angry and sad.

Some highs and lows this Fail week. Similar to last week I'm have fun with Mass Effect 3 multiplayer , but along with that come the sad reminders of my limitations and troubles in life. It seems I see and hear about what things people are moving on to, seeing them making new connections, yet my life remains stagnant and it seems I may never have a normal life again.

Some highs and lows this Fail week. I'm having lots of fun with old and new online friends playing Mass Effect 3 multiplayer , but along with that come the sad reminders of my limitations and troubles in life.

Another homeless week where I'm more sad than not. "Those of you who have little ones, or loved ones who are not yet starting a family, take a few moments to remember how lucky you are, and how truly special that is."

This week the terrible cookie post incident, as mentioned in podcast 43.

A few good things this week, but overall my life is unchanged, and I feel sad, alone, and begin/continue to seriously doubt I will ever recover.

"The game is only 28% done loading, so I have a bit before it's ready, but today I have a fun new game, I made cuties smile, and I am a bit smiley, so today is pretty good. "

"I'm glad to know he's doing well and succeeded in life. But it makes me wonder. How far off am I from such a life? I'm pretty sure I'm a few years older, certainly older than most start a family and have kids, some my age even have newborn grandchildren. Will I ever see such a life? Will I ever be able to build any new desktop systems for myself ever again? Will I recover at all? Lately it seems unlikely and that I'll never recover at the rate I'm going. "

- Game Watch : The Secret World

Game: The Secret World
Type: Action MMOG
Developer: Funcom
Distributor: EA Games
Platform(s): PC / Xbox 360
Release: April, 2012

What is it? A modern times MMOG set in a world where secret societies know the truth; monsters are real.

Why is it important? This would be the first modern day MMOG that I know of. It blends tech in the form of modern weapons, magic, and fantasy elements, but they add a new twist, like earth elementals are made of concrete and have wrecking balls, and vampires wear trench coats, goggles, hats and wraps so they can be out during the day.

What makes the game design special? Funcom is introducing a new classless system where you can pick seven active and seven passive skills from a reported 500+ total. Experience you gain allows you to unlock more skills, allowing you to specialize in the path you've chosen, or to generalize by taking skills from different groups. Additionally the game will not have levels, meaning, theoretically, you can always group with your friends, and a more experienced character simply has more options as opposed to traditional MMOGs where they move to more and more restricted content.

Why is it going to pwn? The fact that there are no levels and no classes has the opportunity to introduce unprecedented levels of freedom for players. The limitation of skills and abilities will introduce a new element to MMOGs. (Players like me who dislike whack-a-mole may feel right at home with a more collectable card game style of skill/ability choice.) Additionally, they are drawing on myths and lore that is familiar, yet putting a modern / different spin on the tales. They are introducing a real-world element in the form of investigation of people and places that tie back into the game.

Why could it fail (game design)? Since the game is designed for non-leveled play, even though it likely will be tiered, it may turn out feeling 'flat' and short on content. Additionally, players may feel overwhelmed or confused by the lack of classes, or simply follow a flavor of the month. Funcom is including 'archetypes', which will give players skill templates, to help alleviate this, but many may ignore this feature. The real-world tie-ins may feel too much like homework and be ignored by much of the player base.

Why could it fail (developer)? Funcom doesn't have the greatest history lately. Age of Conan, it's muchly hyped "adult MMOG" rapidly lost elements that made it adult. For years AoC was shown with nudity and gore and all their marketing and press revolved around this fact. Within months of launch the nudity was removed and much of the gore turned down. (Some elements of nudity were even removed during the last few months of beta right before launch.) Additionally, Funcom did not listen to the beta testers, and it was released with extremely little content and extremely repetitive game play. Players were grinding rapidly and the revolutionary combat design fell flat and felt uninteresting to players. Anarchy Online met with similar complaints from the player base starting with patch 12.4, which was, if I recall correctly, within the first 4 months post-launch. This patch greatly slowed down the experience rate (to roughly 25% of the speed it was before) and introduced game changing re-balance which upset the PvP community so much that nearly every high-end guild canceled and left the game. Additionally, when patch 12.4 released it broke the game and made 99% of all monsters invulnerable to damage, wiping out hundreds of players and guards (who could be level 100 when the player level cap was level 50). The game was not only not rolled back immediately, but the community was told it would have to wait until Funcom's four day national holiday weekend was over. (A holiday that was local, not global.) It wasn't until several days after the holiday that anything was done to correct the horrible patch bug.

Personal opinion / thoughts: I've been following TSW since its announcement. My forum account dates back all the way to 2008. I am very excited to see a modern day set MMOG that looks like it will do everything right that Hellgate: London did wrong. The engine running TSW is a variant of what was used in AoC, and the visuals it can generate are simply stunning. The "skill wheel" looks very cool, and it will be a great relief to me to be able to play a game with collectable card game style skill choice instead of the whack-a-mole MMOGs have so often turned to. I do have great hesitation due to Funcom's recent history with AoC, as well as their lack of customer support over the past, well, 11+ years. There was extremely little content and players were hitting max level in a matter of real world days. While TSW won't have levels, I do have the same concern that content will only be the half dozen or so areas they show at their site. TSW could be a game that would make me happy in the MMOG space, but the question is will it have enough content, and will I feel unique enough yet still retain the feeling of being useful/helpful to a group/others?

More sad than not this week, but nothing's really changed.

This podcast wasn't 'due' for another week, but since it's done and ready, and I has a sad about the terribad sounding one, I decided to release it early.

Sadness about my recent bad audio quality on podcast 39. Almost got a car, but there was weirdness.

The good news is I'm putting it up early. It's not scheduled to go up until Wednesday. The bad news is that half of it sounds pretty terrible and the other half sounds mildly terrible. I has a sad about it.

"I can no longer imagine what life would be like for me when I'm no longer homeless. I no longer know who I am. I know what I do, but that is not who I am."

"But it was sad not to have friends, to not have family, to not have a party to go to, or somewhere others felt that I belonged. I felt like an alien from another world, observing a culture I was not allowed to join."

Some good days, but mostly extra sad days for bunnah due to the holidays.

Lots of depression this week. I decided to pick up Star Wars: The Old Republic.

In this podcast I wish everyone a happy Xmas time. I talk about what traditions I used to have. I talk about how I think sharing is an important part of gaming. Don't be afraid to try new or different things during the holidays, you never know what you may find.

"I feel so out of shape, unhealthy, fatter, and sad about, well, everything. "

"I've been feeling sick. Not from my tooth having the dull ache of something being stuck there not from lack of sleep, but something else I think. I feel so very sad and alone lately. I know people out there care for me and want to see me get better and get back to a normal life, but I feel so very alone."